VAULT 95: RECOVERY AND RELAPSE
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People who attack drugs don't get what they do for you.
It's not just about getting high. It's about the way they make your brain contort itself in unlikely ways. My last comic, Terror of Grognak the Barbarian? Impossible without the loving, guiding hand of Daddy-O. The way it enhanced the colors on my palette…
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My family stopped talking to me.
Fuck them. I've got the high and that's all I need.
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Vault-Tec came to do the door today. Offered me admission into Vault 95.
The guys over at the lounge think I should do it. Say as wonderful as Daddy-O is, it's not going to matter when the apocalypse comes. Time is running out, they say.
And so is my money.
I don't know. I'll think about it.
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It happened today.
The thing I'll remember most is the Overseer describing the devastation to me. Telling us that there was nothing left out there. No drugs, no chems.
Nothing but the program.
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My goal for today is to not think about Daddy-O.
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My goal for day is to not think about Daddy-O.
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I miss it.
Three years and I still miss it.
I think what triggers it the most is when I try to write fiction. Not sure why I am when nobody is ever going to read it outside of our support group, but it feels familiar.
The spark, though, it isn't there. The terminal screen in my room stares back at me, laughing, taunting.
Why can't I write?
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WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I WRITE?
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Today is either the best day of my life or the worst.
Turns out we were all guinea pigs the whole time. Someone, we don't know who, found a hidden stash of chems in the Vault. A lifetime's supply.
I lasted two hours.
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The words are coming back to me again. The terminal has shut up and the keyboard has spoken.
I bathe less, eat less, drink less. All that matters are the stories. STORIES STORIES STORIESSSSSSSSSS
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I love you, Daddy-O.
/
A/N: These short bursts are all I feel capable of at the moment. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the new medication. Maybe it's my brain telling me I've been writing too much and need to take a break. But either way I'm going to be doing these for awhile.