All was peaceful in the bay of Yokohama. Godzilla was stood staring around the water, checking for threats and more importantly, King Ghidorah. He went for a gentle swim, taking out a few fishing boats with his waves. He turned on his back and floated for a while off the northern coast of mainland Japan. Suddenly his senses were tingling. He stood up, drowning several old people who had been sunbathing on the shore. A streak of fire was hurtling across the sky over Hokkaido. He heard the emergency warning blare from the radios and cell phones of everybody who lived there. He waded onto the island as people ran from their homes and took refuge in the emergency shelters. Godzilla was NOT happy. There was only one country that it could have come from- only one country that would feel the need to shoot a dirty great missile across an innocent island: The so-called "Democratic" People's Republic of Korea. Their monarchal necrocratic leader Kim Jong-Un was at it again, firing off at places he shouldn't, because he obviously realized that any attack on America's bases in Guam would undoubtedly be a stupid idea. More stupid than merely firing a missile over a country that still was allied with the US but not an American base.. He was endangering the good people of Japan and potentially polluting the environment with dangerous chemicals that would take millions of years to decompose. Godzilla watched as the missile crashed into the sea, ripping apart on impact. His anger was so strong that he pooped hot diarrhea everywhere, splashing a few houses and breaking their roofs. He began stomping across the island towards the other coast, towards the Koreas.

Meanwhile, something was stirring in the mountains of Kaesong, on the North side of the DMZ. A huge monster that had not awakened for hundreds of years was awakening. He was hundreds of years old and had been created as the first true leader of the revolutionary people. His name was Pulgasari and the danger threats to the people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea had awoken him to once again rally for the cause and protect the proletariate from the bourgeoisie allies of the capitalist Americans! He shook his scaly black body and yawned, making a deafening noise that echoed off the mountains. But nobody heard because nobody lived there. He stretched and felt a hundred years of digested metal sat heavy in his colon. He pushed a little and a tsunami of mercury gushed out of his rectum and sat in a pool in the valley like a toxic silver lake. He felt his stomach grumble and realised he needed to eat. He caught the scent of metal on the air and followed it to Kaesong city. It had changed so much since the days of the peasants he had protected. Every body walked in step, men and women had long metal tubes instead of swords and shovels, and they were all dressed in smart clothes instead of rags. But Pulgasari suddenly felt very small despite his height. He saw the statue of God in the centre of town. It gave off an aura of mighty power and he bowed down to the one true leader of the Proletariat: Kim Il-Sung. For it was he who fought off the capitalist and dictating bourgeoisie who threatened to rule the Common People. He then paid his respects to his son, General Kim Jong-Il. It then occurred to him that maybe his Songbun may not make him worthy of The Great leader. But he didn't need to worry:

He had fought for the first peasants in their revolution

He had been asleep during the Japanese and American chaos so was uncorrupted

His creator had the best Songbun as he was a blacksmith.

And his daughter who's blood brought Pulgasari to life was the same. He technically had the purest Songbun of anyone in the DPRK (apart from The Great Leader and his family because they were the supreme beings)

He now looked at the junk yard and as he grabbed a fist of rusty metal, he thanked the Great Leader for providing his food. He now understood why they all wore smart clothes: It was so they were always prepared to show respect to the Marshal should he appear. Soon he felt the strength return to his body and horns, and the anger boiled up in him again as he felt a non-Juche force approaching the better side of the DMZ. The people of Kaesong watched him in awe as he strode past their homes and they all turned to bow to The Great Leader's statue and thank him for bringing such a wonderful war creature in the world. How wonderful it was that he had made his grandson such a good scientist so he could create

Pulgasari! They also thanked Kim Jong-Il for producing a son that was such a genius biologist! And they all straightened their pin badges and thanked the Marshal for being such a clever and genius geneticist and creating a marvel of nature to defend the Democratic People's Republic of Korea! They all danced in time with each other as if it was normal for a thousand people to suddenly just know the same dance and choreography and have a flash mob. They danced in happiness and to honour The Great Leader. Pulgasari went on his way, emptying junk yards of metal as he went. He was a bit shocked by this new world as nobody in this place seemed to be farming. When he was created everybody was a farmer. Here, he saw none. And then he realised: The food came from the Marshal! The grandson of The Great Leader had been given the power to feed his people and look after the Proletariats so that nobody went hungry because of a selfish, ignorant, bourgeoisie monarch every again!

Godzilla had arrived in South Korea. He slowly made his way to the DMZ, ready to trample on any North Korean in his path and wrestle with their anti-missile guns and rip their nukes from the silos. The South Korean people gawked at him and wondered if this Japanese fighter was breaching the rule that Japan was not allowed soldiers on foreign soil. They too wished they could have a giant monster to fight beside them, and the Americans one too so that they could stand together and not let that idiot Un do as he pleased. As Godzilla started his way across the DMZ, he opened Pandora's Box by accident. His massive weight and strength of his stomps caused a cavern under the ground to suddenly cave in. This was an ancient toilet pit with that would have had an outhouse over it. The soil caved in and a fountain of ancient diarrhea sprayed out of the ground and it smelled like the Bog of Eternal Stench. Godzilla was so surprised that his own poop spurted from his ass and mingled with the ancient shit. This caused a huge explosion which fired poop across both sides of the DMZ. But that was not the worst part. Something had been unleashed. A woman with hair that was the length of her body appeared in the shit swamp untouched by the crap. She was very beautiful but looked angry. It was Cheuksin! The ancient

Korean Goddess of toilets! Godzilla had forgotten to cough three times before entering the outhouse that she had been exiled to by the gods and now she was angry! She hit Godzilla's foot with her hair. She was only the height of his little toe, but the godly force knocked him over and Godzilla flattened a forest on the DPRK side of the DMZ.( The South rejoiced at this because the trees were no longer blocking their line of sight.) But she wasn't angry at him for long. Despite people thinking she was evil and her having an actual hatred of children, she didn't want the South Koreans to be hurt, because they were leading good lives and had not bothered her for centuries. She made a pact with Godzilla that she would help defeat North Korea and avenge Japan if she was allowed to be freed from her toilet. Godzilla agreed and pulled himself to his feet, knocking over the power cables by accident.

On the North Korean side of the DMZ, war had been declared on account of:

The Americans' ally Japan's monster causing a power cut

The Americans' ally Japan's monster causing a tsunami of ancient poop to coat their soldiers and weapons

The Americans' ally Japan's monster pooping and causing an explosion

The Americans' ally Japan's monster unleashing an ancient toilet Goddess who vowed to fight against The Great Leader's nation

The Americans' ally Japan's monster destroying a forest on the DPRK side of the DMZ

They started to scramble and man the guns. They were about to scream into their radios but Godzilla stamped on them. Cheuksin screamed and whipped some soldiers to death with her hair and garrotted a few. And then... Pulgasari appeared.

He looked at Godzilla and the tiny speck that was Cheuksin sat riding on his toe and could feel the poisonous, capitalist, monarchial, bourgeoisie, anti-proletariatness oozing from every inch of the beast. The air was thick with it and Pulgasari was almost choking on how much it insulted The Great Leader. He let out a roar and Godzilla surged forward. Pulgasari swiped at him, but Godzilla did a ninja move and ducked so that the claw missed. The Proletariat reared up and shot a laser beam from his mouth, which caught Godzilla on the shoulder. He roared and he and Cheuksin pushed him over, so that he flattened a DPRK anti missile gun. Pulgasaria grabbed Godzilla's tail and bit into it. the taste of mutated reptile flesh did not agree with his metal-loving stomach and he vomited violently. The vomit fountained for miles and fell like a rainstorm on Pyongyang which cause huge issues to a rally that was going on there (all the coloured cards that people held up as they marched to make pictures got covered by the vomit and bleached so that now the pictures too looked like a pile of vomit.) Vomit also hit the diarrhea that coated the DMZ and napalm was created that began to eat all the remaining trees. (Again the South cheered because they could see much more of the North side) Godzilla picked up Pulgasari by the horns and began to shake him up and down in slow motion until he was sure that the beast was dead. Cheuksin strangled him with her hair and cursed him so that a pool of molten mercury oozed out of his anal cavity.

Then they ran, hunting for the missile silos. Godzilla felt himself get horny as they approached- he looked into the ground where the silos were and they stood there hard and girthy. He picked one up and sat on it so that it went up his ass. It took a while as he wasn't greased up and the nuke was very rough. Cheuksin helped him by giving him horrendous diarrhea. He sat down harder and roared as it hit his prostate and he started to thrust it in and out. This had triggered it's nuclear start up and as he reached climax it exploded inside him, though it wasn't very powerful as North Korea was still a baby when it came to nuclear weapons. Godzilla had been born due to radiation and so it did not hurt him it just made him cum. And he drowned the silo in body fluids, diarrhea, semen, ear fluid and urine. He recovered using the radiation and started on the next one which went in easier as he was already lubed up. This one though didn't get him very far and it exploded before he'd had time to fully get himself horny again. And the next one was bad too as it was slightly bent and just couldn't hit the spot he aimed it at. As he was experimenting with two at a time he heard a roar. Pulgasari was alive! He came striding up to them and they realized he was far bigger than he had been as he ate all the metal vehicles, tanks, and guns. He blasted Godzilla with his fiery breath, that was now empowered with the very essence of Juche as the army equipment had been forged by The Great Leader himself as a gift to the people to aid their safety and protect all that he had generously given them. Godzilla staggered as it took the beam in the chest. And NOW he realised what it was he felt: THE WILL AND UNITY OF THE PEOPLE! THE HAMMER! THE SICKLE! AND THE PAINTBRUSH! Everything that opposed American values like CAPITALISM! RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM! PRIVATE HEALTHCARE! PRIVATE PROPERTY! SYNCHRONISED FORMATION ORCHESTRAS THAT HONOURED SPORTS TEAMS AND DIDN'T HONOUR THE GREAT LEADER! DRUNKENNESS! PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION! TALKING ABOUT SEX! HAVING SEX WHILE NOT THINKING OF THE GREAT LEADER! And the worst thing of all, BLUE DENIM JEANS! Godzilla felt the power and he panicked, not knowing how to combat this unstoppable force. He needed more strength and more American-style spirit. He sent mind rays to Cheuksin begging for help. She understood what was needed. He was born of radiation. and America were the first to test the atom bomb which signified the USA's explosive attitude. Plus he needed as much sex as he could get, just like a GI. She used her hair and godly strength to round up the last of the missiles. She used all her power to grow her hair long enough to tie then all together until they were wider than the Hoover dam and lay them down so the nuclear warheads were aimed at Godzilla's asshole. By this point Pulgasari was stamping on Godzilla's head with the forceful foot of the proletariat while thinking of how great The Great Leader was and how grateful he was for this fine country that he had allowed Pulgasari to exist in. Cheuksin braced herself and with all her godly strength she used her hair to thrust the bundle of rockets in and out of Godzilla's poop hole.

The sensation of being so full empowered the megagiant lizard and as his prostate was hammered, he felt the American Dream filling him. His dong began to grow stiff. Up until now the missile stimulation had no affect on his mega meat stick probably because it gave off such an aura of anti-Americanism. But the ingenuity of Cheuksin was encompassing all of America and he soon was able to push the bundle up his rectum by himself. The toilet goddess released her hair and instead lassoed his dong. She began giving him a hand job (only with her hair) as the nukes got deeper and deeper into Godzilla's prostate. Pulgasari suddenly realised what was going on and tried to pull the warheads out. He nearly had is arm cut off as the ends of the rockets were sucked up and the reptile sphincter closed behind them. He could hear beeping. The warheads had primed themselves and now they were about to explode. Godzilla's monster pleasure stick was throbbing too and ready to go. But the climax never came. The latrine lady rubbed his dick with all the power her head would allow but to no avail. Godzilla was still lying there helpless. He needed something extra. That one thing that screamed about everything that it was to be American. Then she had godly inspiration. Something that another communist nation had banned to spite the USA. She released her hair and fled back to the DMZ while Pulgasari prepared himself for performing an anal exploratory. (Meanwhile in Pyonyang, the giant rally had been stopped due to the entire group of synchronised picture people being put on a train and sent to a gulag in Russia because Pulgasari's vomit had ruined their pictures and The Marshall thought they were showing him disrespect.)

Godzilla was in pain. And pleasure simultaneously. The prostate stimulation was feeding his American sex obsession (and a Japanese fetish) while the feeling of his rectum being viced open was feeding his desire to resist all enemies (and feeding his Japanese masochism... and Japanese Fetish...) He didn't know how much longer he had left before the nukes blasted and the radiation was wasted. He needed something else. HE NEEDED IT SO BADLY! When Cheuksin suddenly returned in front of him... he mistook her for Lady Liberty. She was standing in front of the blazing sun her arm aloft and in her hand... was a glass bottle of Ice Cold Coca Cola. The drink of presidents and soldiers gone by. In that glass bottle was the distilled essence of everything America stood for: HUMAN EXPLOITATION! GM FARMING! ADDITIVES! CORPORATION! PRESERVATIVES! COLOURS! NON-FOOD CHEMICALS! And the best of all, STATE SUBSIDIZED HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP! She ran towards him in slow motion and when she got to his mouth she realised with dismay that she didn't have a fucking bottle opener! She tried to prize it off with her fingers, her hands, even her teeth! but her goddess powers could not tamper with the metal crown cap. She looked around and saw that Pulgasari almost had a claw up Godzilla's ass. She had no time left before the nukes exploded. Godzilla looked at her with his boggling eye and then, she knew what she had to do. She held the bottle under her dress and used all her latrine power to conjure up the most rancid shit possible. It melted the glass bottle neck and the bottle cap dropped to the ground. Holding the shit covered Coke in her hand she poured it into Godzilla's mouth and ran for her life.

Godzilla had never found heroin or crack or any other drug to affect him. But what he felt now was what he imagined them to feel like. The nukes exploded inside of him and his prostate felt like nirvana. As the American Dream flowed through him and the shit poured out of every orifice and the radiation fed his body, he rose up from the ground like magic and came to rest on his feet with a huge thud (the Earthquake was felt all the way to Pyonyang and several children were almost crushed flat by the statue of The Great Leader falling over in the quake, Emergency services rushed to save the statue. The rest of the DPRK nearly drowned in liquid dino turd, monster meat juice and ear fluid apart from The Marshall who was sitting high on a cloud conjured up by his grandfather The Great Leader) Godzilla looked Pulgasari in the eyes. The horned thing glared back at him. With one swoop Godzilla grabbed Pulgasari and with his other claw he grabbed the last nuke. He rammed it up the horned beast's ass and he let out a roar. THIS WAS WRONG! Pulgasari screamed in his head. No! The Americans could not win! No! He had to do something! Godzilla knew that radiation would probably kill the beast as he had been created before humans had even split the atom and so was very sensitive to it. The only reason he had been fine so far was because Godzilla had absorbed all the radiation into his body from the immediate area. But now... Godzilla began rhythmically bumming him waiting for the warhead to detonate... and then disaster. As with all crap North Korean technology, this one failed too. The heat of Pulgasari's stomach (used to digest the metal he ate like a furnace) burned up as it was pushed further in. Where there had been resistance Godzilla felt the missile continue up and up and he had to withdraw his hand from Pulgasari's anus to stop his own hand melting. The horned Juche fiend swiped repeatedly at Godzilla who was merely shrugging off the attacks. Godzilla opened his mouth dong still erect and dripping everywhere and gathering every ounce of the American Dream he blasted his radiation beam at Pulgasari.

It was like bleach to mold. He screamed an unearthly screech and almost fell over. his scales steamed and started to disintegrate. But he didn't vanish. He now looked like a charred corpse. And was still alive. Godzilla was fucked. He had no energy left to irradiate him again. He stumbled backwards and fell over a boulder and went crashing to the ground. NOOOOO! He had to defend the people of Japan! He had to defend the Americans and South Koreans too! Pulgasari was unstoppable! As he lamented his failure, he once again saw Lady liberty. Cheuksin had returned. Pulgasari opened his mouth, ready to blast her with the Force of The People and force her to help reunite Korea under the single banner of The Great Leader. Godzilla KREEEEOOOONKED! In panic and despair as he was growing fond of the toilet goddess. But all was hopeless.

And then she raised her hand. As Pulgasari took a breath she cast the bottle cap from the Coke bottle into his mouth. It was like cyanide. The combination of America's evil values and South Korea's and japan's love of Coca Cola was too much. The soul was ripped from Pulgasari along with his innards and there was a typohoon of mercury shit, ear juice and vomit. (There were no maggots though because North Korea's starving masses in the gulags ate anything living that they could get their hands on and so pests and vermin no longer existed anywhere.) Godzilla stood up and ran to avoid the surge. He carried the Bathroom Goddess on his head and when he got to the DMZ he swept all the soldiers safely up into his arms and ran away from the oncoming tide of communist brainwashing mercury turd. They all returned to their homes and Godzilla set down the Goddess of Toilets. He freed her from her outhouse exile and vowed to visit her again one day. She was South Kora's protector now (the old gods had abandoned this world for another plane years ago) and she would watch over it just like Godzilla watched over Japan and American territories there. Godzilla honoured her in the normal way of Jesas and used his own dung to make her a Ttongheok (traditional dung rice cake) she blushed and thanked him and gazed in awe as he stomped away.

Over the epicentre of horned beast body fluids a cloud of something was forming. It got shady and then started moving towards the capital...

THE END!