Chapter 13 Promising Forever

Courage. Not the absence of fear, but the willingness to do something that scares you to death when you know it's the right thing to do. Courage. It was the thing that Robby had always thought was the trait in which he was most deficient-he was told that often enough by his own father, and while the man had lied for a living, Roby had taken his word as the gospel truth. That meant that he was the opposite. A Coward. Someone who ran from everything, and couldn't stand on two feet. Too afraid to speak up, too afraid to upset someone, too afraid to fail.

Be that as it may, nothing had ever felt so right before, here in the exhibit room that was now littered with adult juried art exhibits-a local competition of sorts. He was glad he had chosen this room and not the fingerpainted garbage that constituted the children's summer art program upstairs with Mary Margaret. Some of the adult entries were questionable to Robby, he couldn't lie-as someone who loved things of beauty, some of the more modern looking entries confused him-but overall, the aesthetic was exactly what he could wish for.

In all honesty, he wished he was doing this in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower looming in the distance, or one of those homes that looked like it came out of an Austen novel in England-not that he could hold a candle to Darcy. Belle deserved the world and more, but seeing as it was Robby Gold who was asking, she would be left with what he could afford.

'What's got you all worked up?' Robby jumped and turned to see the curly mop that belonged to Jeff looking at him as if he were working at a puzzle. Jeff was looking slightly less obnoxious on this day, with a patterned short sleeve button up and a pair of khaki pants. The sensibility stopped there, as a pair of bright red sneakers made him look like he was on a vacation, instead of on the clock at work.

'What?' Robby pretended to act like he had no idea what Jeff was talking about. He was sure he was a sight to see. He had run his fingers through his stringy mane at least a dozen times already and walked the width and breadth of the lobby, not even noticing his leg.

'You know what I'm talking about. After a hundred years, it's going to be you that finally wears down the early 20th century tile in this place! C'mon, Gramps, spill!'

'Belle is coming over after she gets off work today.' Robby shrugged, playing it off as best he could.

'Alright-Belle is coming-at what? Five this evening? That's still five hours away!'

Jeff crossed his arms, squaring his shoulders (and yet still they looked permanently slumped from the way he always stood at ease), and looking into Robby's eyes, that were continually getting more and more nervous. Panic that he had been trying to stifle, rose suddenly at the thought of what he was going to do today, and he grabbed at something to steady himself and took in deep gulping breaths.

'Woah, woah, Gramps, you okay? Calm down, it's alright-something special with Belle, huh? You aren't doing what I think you are doing, are you?'

He might be dressed as a twelve year old, but he wasn't exactly stupid, Robby supposed. Robby could hardly think, let alone respond, so he just closed his eyes, concentrated on breathing and nodded his head.

'Here?' Jeff continued, not deterred from asking questions, even while Robby struggled with breath. Finally, the roaring in his ears began to quiet down and his heart went back to a more manageable rhythm. He had not had something so major happen in a while. He knew there was only one person to thank for it.

'Yes, here.' Robby panted, now ashamed of how merely thinking about asking Belle 'the big question' sent him into a panicked state. Finally steadied he asked, 'you think that's okay, don't you? N-not lame, or anything?' Robby internally cringed for asking the child for advice, but he was so worried that he would disappoint Belle, that desperate times called for idiotic measures.

'Nah! It's Belle, alright? She has spent so much time in this building over the last two and a half years that it's almost a home away from home, I think. It's perfect. So that's what's got you so worked up, huh? Scared she'll say no? I think you're in the clear on that-for some strange reason, I think the girl adores you.' He chuckled.

Unbelievingly, Robby could honestly reply,

'No, it's not that actually, and yes I know,' seeing Jeff's surprised expression. 'I'm normally scared of most things, but Belle seems to genuinely want to be with me. We sort of talked about it when we began fixing up the house, so I actually think she'll say yes.' He started rubbing the back of his neck. 'No, that's not what's got me 'all worked up' as you put it. I don't know…

It's just that Belle has read so much, and dreamed of so many things. And-what if-What if it's all a disappointment. She's probably always wished for fireworks or rose petals, or some sort of scenic place nestled in the middle of nowhere. A picnic, or a mountain hike, perhaps. What if I can't even get my leg to cooperate and get on one knee? I've practiced several times, but what if I lose my balance and make a mess of the whole thing? She-she should have the very best, and I can offer her so little.'

He had come to the end of the little speech, his heart poured out in reckless fashion, hardly realizing that it was Jeff to whom he was speaking and not his bathroom mirror, or his usual internal monologue. All the thoughts had just gushed out and he turned his head and planned to walk away, not wanting to hear Jeff laugh in his face or to see embarrassment over Robby's cowardly thoughts.

'Hey' Jeff stopped him. 'Remember what I said before, this is Belle. Belle. She tends to see things-well, differently, but in a good way!' He added quickly. 'And if you are not already nervous about what her answer is going to be, then why are you nervous about all the details? When you look back on this moment, I doubt the details will really matter. What matters is that you are together and happy, right?'

The fact that the entire sentence had both made sense and wasn't full of emotional ridiculousness that made things even more awkward was amazing and strangely comforting.

His hand went back to his neck again, rubbing it, but he wasn't panicking anymore-only feeling sort of emotionally drained after speaking so much. He just nodded, and turned, managing a 'thanks' before completely walking off.

When something so monumental is about to happen time seems both too slow and too quick. Such was the case for Robby, of course. His internal self was an emotional roller coaster, both excited and terrified to take this next step with Belle. While he spoke honestly to Jeff, there was more-there was always more.

What if a year down the road, she realizes that you weren't enough for her? What if you fail once again and you can't provide for her-and then she will be back to the same poverty her father subjected her to? What if…'

Fifty other what if's went through his mind that day. That ought to have passed the time quickly enough, instead the time crawled by continually, giving him even more reasons why the entire thing would fail, and perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps it really was too soon. She had just gained a bit of independence, would she really want to be tied down with him-subjected to risk being with him where he would bring her down with him if he ever failed. He had made that promise all that time ago. He had promised himself that he would take care of her, provide for her, give her a safe place to live-forever, if she would have it and want it, of course. He had worked to keep his end, but Belle would make her own decisions and decide her own fate.

All the time that seemed to go on forever, was suddenly upon him and it was time for Belle to be off work. The pacing began again, as there was no one in the lobby, since the building had officially closed for the evening. He had even locked the accordion doors, trying to quell his nerves by picturing Belle on that day, all those months before-a lifetime before, it felt like, was there a time when she wasn't the dearest person in his life?-when she stood, her nose in a book and those deep blue eyes looked at him with such kindness and concern. He locked the door and limped back into the lobby, the nerves that shielded his leg from the worst of the pain were still there, but his body knew he was already beginning to pay for the exertion of pacing the lobby all day.

'Hello, Robby' He was met by the blue eyed beauty who Jeff had let in by the side door. Said Jeff was now crossing behind her, out of her eyesight, and gave him a wink and a thumbs up as he went upstairs to turn everything off. For some reason, the gesture made him that more nervous, but he attempted to breathe.

'Hello, sweetheart. Um, Belle, would you, um, would you like to come see the adult juried exhibit. There was one I thought you might like-it at least made me think of you, that is.'

'And that's why we're meeting here instead of the house, tonight?' Her forehead wrinkled, but she looked more concerned than curious. He knew his nerves must be blatantly obvious, but he had to do this-he must do this. Courage or Cowardice were the choices of the hour and he could only pick one. He took Belle's hand and led her into the exhibit room.

'Feels strange, sometimes, doesn't it?' he started, his voice shaky. ' To be in the same place where two years ago, your now boyfriend was too afraid to speak to you, so he bolted and had Jeff come talk to you instead?'

Belle smiled fondly. 'You have a hard time with strangers. We both know why that is, you know, and I don't think you should beat yourself up so much about it. I wouldn't have had it any other way.'

'Me neither, actually.' She looked up at him at these words and looked pleasantly surprised at his confession. ' Because, from the first time I saw you, I began noticing so many things about you. The way you like to stick pens and pencils behind your ear.' He reached up and took the one that had been nestled there, putting it in his suit pocket and allowing his hand to go back to her ear and play with the curl that had been released with the movement. If he wasn't in such a moment, he might have chuckled at the pen that was now nestled in his pocket as it most likely 'borrowed' from the library-she had a habit of accidentally bringing their pens home with her (however, she always made a point to return them the next day). Instead he continued, ' I noticed your love for good literature, and well, good art too.' She smiled, her cheeks bright with color at his goings on. 'I loved the way your face crinkled when you were studying different pieces, and I noticed how you read each description before continuing to the next piece. It was like seeing glimpses into who you were as a person. Studious, intelligent, curious about the world around you. Then I met you and I found out something else.'

Belle's head tilted.

'You were unfathomably kind. Even if you had genuinely thought me mute, your actions couldn't have been more thoughtful. And then to think that you did it all so that you might get to know me, well…' Robby pushed away a tear from his eye with a shaky hand and then brushed one away from Belle's.

'It's only because I think I was half in love with you, already, Robby Gold.' Belle whispered.

'And I, you, Belle French. And the more I got to know you the more in love with you I became. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, both inside and out, and I yearn to get to know you for the rest of our lives. Would you let me do that? Would you let me love you, and get to know you for the rest of our lives?'

It was at this part of his speech he was meant to go on one knee. They were at the little bench in the middle of the room and he used it as balance. In tears, her eyes a blazing blue, stormy with swirling emotions, she tried to assure him he needn't do that, but he was determined.

Courage. It was doing something that you are scared to do, because you know it's the right thing to do. This was the most right thing he could do, and thus, he pushed away any pain, as he went down on his good knee, praying his brace held up his bad one.

'Oh Robby' Belle gasped quietly.

'Belle French, would you marry me?'

He pulled out a small black box with a simple ring with a gold encircled diamond in the middle. Her fingers were so tiny he was worried that anything bigger would overwhelm the tiny hand.

'Oh yes, Robby, yes! She flung her arms around him, gave him a peck on the lips before she pulled her arms under his and helped him get up.

'Now stand up, so I can kiss you properly, you wonderful man.'

Being helped up as she did have offended him coming from any other person, but he was quite content to stand and let her kiss him.

Unfortunately the moment was then ruined by the clapping of Jeff, hopping around like a five year old on Christmas.

'I knew you could do it Gramps!'

Author's Note:

So this was soooooo fun to write, and I hope you enjoy it as well!
Fun fact-I based the summer time juried art exhibits on what my town's art and humanities building does during the summer as well! I have loved adding elements of my town into this story :) I was also looking on their facebook page today (I was trying to see what all programs they do throughout the year) and the person I based Jeff on, was doing some sort of live video or something-now I can only see him as Jeff-hahaha