Beatrice left the Order and did what Ava asked of her, tried to live her life. Of course, she didn't really do it in the way Ava expected her to, but she was trying to live. She visited her parents for a very short time, just enough to recover her inheritance they tried to take from her since she was a nun and with that money she went back to Spain and first few weeks she spent sightseeing, visiting all the places she knew Ava would have loved. She ate all sorts of sugary candy she would never taste in her life, but knew Ava would love. She went to see movies she would have loved and all along doing those things, she felt like Ava was with her. One night she even went to the gay club and spent entire night dancing, nursing a lemony drink as an homage to Ava and their night of taking shots. She was approached by few women, but she politely turned them down and said that she was not available. Some tried to get the information about the woman who has her captivated and others just continued to talking to other women respecting the relationship Bea had. Those women were rare, so after a weekend of going out, she gave it up. It was not her scene…and dancing was boring without Ava. On the street markets she bought silly things she knew Ava would love and she never lost hope that she would come back to her. She was ready to wait. She spent entire life waiting for something and now she knew what it was. It was not glory in death as one of the sister warriors, it was glory in being loved by the Warrior nun…No, loved by Ava. Sometimes she would spend hours in Prado museum in the section where the (wrong) crown of thorns was. She would stare at the statue and the crown and remember their museum adventure and after that the battle at the temple when they levitated. Ava levitated with her in her arms. Sometime, during the night, she would look to the empty side of the bed imagining that the other woman was there. Every night, before falling asleep instead of praying, she would talk to imaginary Ava and tell her about her day. Sometimes, in her sleep she could feel her but as soon as she would move her hand toward the other side of the bed or open her eyes, the presence she craved so much was gone. Out of her nun clothes, she looked very stylish and her posh upbringing was showing. She was dressed in best fashion labels but what was also noticeable was that she was always in black, with very few details of color. She still had her battle gear carefully packed and folded in a special bag, but she couldn't open it. There was still Ava's blood on it and she couldn't get herself to clean it. It was all she had left from Ava, aside from few objects she managed to sneak out from the convent and Julian's house. She wore Ava's earrings all the time and under her very carefully buttoned up shirts she had Ava's pearl on the leather necklace. It was the gift Beatrice gave her for her birthday that was during their laying low time. It was on her nightstand in the room she shared with Ava. She was confused why would it be there, but after she found the letter, she knew it was left there for her. Ava wanted her to keep it as a memory. During her packing, Beatrice Also noticed that her tiny golden cross was missing. She almost never took it off, but for some reason she didn't have it on her on the day of their last battle and couldn't find it anywhere. What she did find in Ava's side of the draw with shirts was a small box with medal of Saint Beatrice of Silva. That made her laugh and then her laughter took her to sobbing on the floor clutching the medallion. Oh, Ava…

She remembered that day clear as it was yesterday. Lilith and Mother Supereon made Ava train hard and Lilith, due to her ego, humiliated and insulted Ava in all the ways she knew how. Ava found refuge in one of the catacombs with graves of past sister warrior or warrior nuns. Beatrice was surprised with Ava's choice of hiding place. Not many nuns went there. They would visit that place when there was a funeral or some commemoration, but usually it was empty. She used it as her hiding place too sometimes so she found it interesting that Ava picked it too. She went to check on her and found her sitting on Sister Shannon's grave. She was staring at the stone where Shannon's name and years of birth and death were written. She heard someone approach her and turned only to see Beatrice standing behind her.

''I came to check on you. I wanted to see if you were all right.''

''Honestly?''

''Always…''

''I feel like shit and I hate being here. Father Vincent is keeping me here as a prisoner and I can say that some sisters definitely took on the role of prison guards very seriously.''

Beatrice came to smirk at that. She knew she spoke of Lilith and Mother.

''I am sorry if you feel like that.''

''Does everyone feel that way here?''

It took a moment for Beatrice to respond.

''I did…At first…As I told you… We all have our secrets and past Ava. My past brought me into the fold of the church and later in the Order. Apparently, nun with my abilities was needed and I was sent here by Cardinal Duretti.''

''So, why did you stay?''

''I made my commitment to God…I took my vows and found outlet in books and training. As you can notice, I am not the one to socialize a lot with other sisters… I am pretty much textbook example of overachiever and loner.''

Ava smiled at that.

''And yet you are here.''

''I am… Because I feel that you struggle with being here.''

''I don't want this life… I finally have all my limbs working and ability to do more than just blink. I don't want to die…for something I don't even believe in. I don't believe in God. I don't believe he choose me.''

She expected some harsh reaction from Beatrice after she said that she doesn't believe in God. What surprised was that Beatrice took a seat beside her and gave her a weak smile.

''Fine. You don't have to believe in God. Many people don't believe in any version of divine presence, no matter what they are called and what religion they represent.''

Ava looked at her shocked by the words coming from the nun.

''Maybe it was not God that put you on this path…but for some reason you are alive and with us. For some reason you have this ability to… do things none of us can.''

Ava smiled.

''You wanted to say miracles.''

''Well, I can't say that if you don't believe in God. If you ever change your mind we will speak of it as miracles and gifts… For now, let's stich to ''abilities''. Is that word something you are comfortable with?''

''Yes, but I am not sure others will accept vocabulary we choose.''

''Maybe they will not, but as long as we are talking about halo and what it helped you do, I will refer to it as ability.''

Ava grew to like Beatrice. She was different from the others. Father Vincent was trying to convince that she is destined and God given for big things, Lilith and Mother Supereon were trying to make her feel worthless, sister Camila was too much rainbows and butterflies for her, but Beatrice had right amount of what she needed. She was funny in her own way, serious when it came to training and her chores, but she was not pushy. She was giving Ava space and chance to pick the pace she needed for things to happen.

''You are not like the other nuns here…. or nuns I used to know.''

Beatrice gave her a sad look. She remembered the story of suicide and how Mother Supereon treated Ava.

''I took my vows earlier than many…and I've learned not to judge people. I might not understand or support some choices people make, but it's not my job to judge. It's God's if you are a believer or nobodies, since it's not their business.''

Ava looked at Beatrice. She knew her story and what really happened but she wanted to know what she thought about it.

''And if I have killed myself? What would you think?''

''For some people, suicide is the only way out they see. I can't judge them. It is hard to be without support and alone in your pain. No one does it for fun or because they have happy life.''

She nervously pulled sleeves of her dress to cover her wrists and Ava noticed it, but said nothing. That day she realized there was more to sister Beatrice than she could ever imagine. Before she had time to ask anything else, their alone time was interrupted. Sister Camila showed up to find Ava. She got the assignment to take Ava to their treasury and let her pick a patron saint medallion. She explained to Ava that each of the sisters had their own saint or at least cross around their neck.

''How do I pick Beatrice… You know I don't…''

Beatrice gave her a smile.

''I know… But pick something that you relate the most to… You don't have to be believer to feel some way. Those saints are protectors of warriors, wounded, children, mothers, miners… Pick what you think fits you the most, regardless of your lack of faith. Sometimes having a charm on you can give you courage and strength you may need. Somewhere in that box will be something that will remind you of safety and that should be your pick.''

Camila thanked Beatrice for these words and for Ava actually leaving with her without complaints or comments she had no idea how to respond. Ava was something new to Camila and she had no idea how to take some of her comments. Faith and God were center of Camila's existence and becoming a sister warrior gave God and faith even higher meaning. She couldn't really understand Ava's lack of faith, especially since she was brought from the dead.

Ava spent some time over the box with medallions and book that explained what each of them represented. She didn't ask Camila anything and the young nun was surprised by the sudden silence. Halo barer was not known to be silent and not to have comment on pretty much anything happening in the convent. Suddenly Camila noticed a small smile on Ava's face and she saw her with a medallion in her hands. It looked as she picked the one for herself. Camila really wanted to know what her choice was, but she also knew it was not the time to ask Ava about it. She wondered what would have happened if she asked. Would have Ava returned the medallion in the box and given up her little quest?

''Sister Camila…''

''Yes Ava?''

''Do I…? Does anyone have to know what I picked?''

Camila smiled.

''Ava, you don't have to share with any of us. What matters is that you have your protector and that is all. It doesn't matter if it is a saint or simple cross. ''

Ava kept her medallion and until this day, Beatrice had no idea what she picked...Sister Shannon had St. Michael as her medal, protector of warriors. Even Mary had St. Jarome, protector of the abandoned. She had her medallion stitched to her combat clothes. Mother Supereon had a cross she got from the Mother Supereon she served as sister warrior and later warrior nun, Camila had Joan of Arc and Beatrice had cross and hidden medal of Saint Mary Magdalene, protector of sinners. She was a sinner. She was always seen as a sinner. Her sin was falling in love with her best friend, and now her sin was loving Ava. But the funny thing was, that her love for Ava didn't feel like sin anymore. It felt like her greatest accomplishment.

She was in her newly rented apartment sitting on the floor with a box of things she bought for Ava and some of the things that belonged to the young women when she was alive. She allowed herself once a day to open the box and touch some of the things that were actually Ava's. Yes, it was no secret that she had Ava's clothes packed in vacuumed bags so they don't lose that Ava smell Beatrice loved so much. But they were in boxes ready to be unpacked on the day she finds a permanent home. This apartment was just place where she escaped the convent and Julian's house that was full of memoires for her. She took it out of the box and opened it to find Ava's medallion. What she saw made her laugh, really laugh. She knew St. Beatrice of Silva was patron Saint of prisoners and in a weird way it made sense why would Ava pick that medal. She felt like prisoner at the beginning of her training but later an idea occurred to her. Ava picked that medallion because it was hidden union of two of them Beatrice and Silva, that was Ava's last name. Beatrice was someone who made her feel safe and Silva was the only thing she had from her past life. Her last name, from a man and a family that never wanted her.

She took it out of the box and turned it. There she found recent inscription. In this life and the next A+B. She broke down on the floor and cried like baby. She put the medallion on and it lingered just below the pearl Ava loved so much.

Mother and Camila gave her some space, but made sure not to lose touch with her. Before she left the convent, she had to promise them that they would have lunch together every two weeks. Following day Beatrice was driving to the convent when she found a sign that a vineyard was for sale. She took a turn and drove to the house in the middle of it. It looked beautiful. House was old but in perfect condition. They were mostly focused on the red wines but had few sorts of white grape too. She got out of the car and looked for the owner. She was introduced to an older man who looked sad. She introduced herself and told him she was interested in buying his property. From a conversation to him she could notice that he was not really sure if he wanted to sell.

''Senor Villa, may I ask you something?''

''Yes, since you want to buy my property, I guess you are allowed to ask whatever you want.''

She gave him a polite smile.

''You love this place… It doesn't look like you have financial problems…Your books are very neat and from it I see that you are doing pretty well. Why are you selling?''

He was silent for a moment.

''This place was my entire life. My wife and I built it from scratch… Everything we had we gave to this place and wine we made…And then she died… I can't stand to be here without her. I know she would be angry at me. She died few weeks ago… She had cancer but I guess we were lucky ones… She died in just two months…She didn't suffer… She just…went away and I had to watch her leave and leave me behind. She wanted me to live my life and if I have a chance, to move on… But I can't… You see… My Alba was love of my life… I knew I could spend my life with her few days after we met…''

What he was saying hit home for Beatrice. She felt her eyes getting wet and she hoped that she would not cry in front of the man who is equally broken as she was.

''She would kill me for telling you this story… But I knew I wanted to marry her after I saw her drink her brothers under the table. It was not ladylike, but I didn't care. I never wanted a lady… I wanted a woman to have adventures with. This place was our biggest adventure… Forty years of love and adventures together. I shouldn't be selfish and angry at God for taking her away. Some people never get to experience what we had and love we had. She was my everything and the moment she died, it took a lot from me not to follow.''

He looked at Beatrice and saw she was on verge of tears.

''And why do you want to buy this place.''

''Same reason why you want to sell. Woman I love told me I have to live my life and find a way to be happy.''

''I didn't know it was a woman.''

''I beg your pardon?''

''There is familiar sadness in your eyes. I was sure you lost your husband…But I guess in these times one can never be sure… In the end it doesn't matter. It hurts the same…Loss is a loss…And broken hearts look the same, no matter who shattered them.''

Beatrice wiped her eyes and nodded. Gustavo Villa was a man Beatrice could grow to like. That bond they shared of the loss they both felt somehow made them closer. They stood at the veranda watching the vineyard and then he turned to her.

''What do you think your lady would say about this?''

He used his hand to point out the vineyard and people working in it. Beatrice smiled.

''Oh, she would have loved it. If she was here with us, she would have left us long ago. She would be down there chatting with people and asking too many questions on how does all this work and do they love their job. She would make very bad jokes…''

There was smile mixed with sadness on her face.

'' She would see it as an adventure and she would love how isolated it is and again how many people participates in making the wine… She would insist on Sunday's meal together where everyone would gather and just enjoy. Each person would bring something to the lunch. Food, drink, something sweet, a guitar to sing and a lot of positive vibes. She lived for crowd and happy people around her. And in the end of the day, she would be happy for us to have our alone time. She would have loved the fireplace in the living room and I am sure she would light the fire there very often. She would get comfortable and watch some silly program on TV and I would curl by her feet with a book at cup of tea.''

It was so easy to imagine life with Ava at this place. She could also see them inviting sisters for some together time and not being able to get rid of Camila because she would fall in love with the view. Mother would insist on tem sending her case of wine from time to time and Ava would be first to tease her for it but send the wine regardless. They would have had a happy life at this place. They would grow old and bicker like old married couple. Hell, maybe they would even get married in the garden behind the house. Mrs. Villa really had beautiful garden with benches and small fish pond.

''And what would you do with my men?''

''Well, if they are willing to stay, I would be happy to have them. I am not familiar with all this… I just saw the sign and something… I don't know… I felt a pull to come here and talk to you. It reminded me of Ava…my lady as you called her…and how happy she would be here.''

''Well, then… I guess this place is yours…Ms.?''

''Beatrice… Beatrice Russel…''

''Well, Ms. Russel. Let me call my lawyer and I could have all the documents ready by the end of the week…''

Beatrice smiled at him.

''But I have two things to ask of you before we sign anything.''

''What is it that you need?''

''Please, let me visit this place and…''

He pointed to the top of the hill.

''My Alba is burred there… Please let her rest there and when my time comes, please let me be with her… Is that something you can do?''

Beatrice just nodded.

''You are welcome to come and stay any time you want… Maybe this will become my property soon, but I wish you to know that I have no intention of taking away the feeling of home from you. Any time you wish to come, a room would be ready for you and you can stay all the time you need.''

''And where is your Ava buried?''

''I…I don't know.''

''Oh, her body haven't been found… She must have been in some nasty accident.''

''Something like that…''

''Don't worry. I will not pour salt on your wounds Ms. Russel.''

She checked her phone and saw messages from Camila.

''I must leave you now. I am very late for a meeting with some friends… We will stay in touch…''

''I will be seeing you by the end of the week Ms. Russel.''

They shook hands and Beatrice continued to the convent. Mr. Villa had her number and she told him to give it to his lawyer so she could finish all the paperwork in Madrid.

During her lunch, she didn't share with Camila and Mother what was the real reason she was late. She mostly spent the time listening to them talk about the new recruits and how much they miss her. Camila hoped she would come back, but Mother knew that it was not Bea's time to come back. It has been so recent that she didn't even deal with her loss in the right way. Mother was very aware that Beatrice is waiting for Ava to come back and she felt sorry for her, but also glad that even if she stopped believing in God as she did before, she still kept faith, even if it is in her beloved. Mother Supereon believed that faith is important in people's life and she was ready to let Beatrice finally choose what she puts her faith in. Father Vincent kept to himself when Beatrice would visit. He knew he was the last person she wanted to see. He took sister Shannon from Beatrice and also Ava.

They ate in Mother's chambers and Camila was the one to talk the most. Both Mother and Beatrice were not in a mood to talk, so Camila took to herself to ease the silence. She spoke of new recruits and how some situations reminded her of her training. That made Beatrice smile a bit. Mother Supereon'' turned to Beatrice and put her hand on hers.

''How are you my child?''

She gave her a weak smile and Mother knew she was not doing well.

''Every day is a challenge.''

''It takes time my child.''

''I know mother.''

She took a sip of water and looked back at Beatrice.

''We invited you for one more reason.''

Beatrice looked at Mother and Camila and noticed that something was going on.

''Is it…?''

She couldn't finish the question. She didn't dare.

''We got Mary's remains… We buried her in the graveyard of the convent.''

Beatrice looked at them and Camila could see she was close to crying.

''I can take you to her.''

''I would love that.''

After lunch Camila took Beatrice to the graveyard and showed her a fresh gave Mary was burred at. She took a seat by the grave and Camila left her alone. The minute she was alone, she broke down and started crying.

''I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Mary… I didn't understand… I had no idea…I didn't see the person. I just saw the mission and halo that needed a new warrior nun to take it over. I haven't seen your pain of watching Shannon die and what it meant for you.''

She wiped her eyes and kept looking at pile of earth under the flowers.

'' I am sorry you are not here to see my actions bight me on the ass. You are not here to see me swallow my words and see my suffering now. I lost my love too. Now I know what you felt and understand your need to revenge Shannon. I want to do it too, but Ava managed to kill the one who took her away from me… Well, there is Lilith…but that is complicated.''

She touched the red roses on the grave and started talking again.

''Mother and Camila keep telling me that I need to move on. I have no idea how. How do you move on from this loss…? I held her in my arms Mary… I was covered in her blood…I held her and at that moment I wished to give my life for hers. She was begging me to let her go, but I couldn't. How could I let love of my life die without fight?! I was ready to die for her…not because she was my Warrior Nun, but because she was my Ava. She told me she loves me…She kissed me… I finally had all I dreamed of. I had her telling me she loves me and then I had to let her go into unknown…not knowing if I would ever get her back… In all honesty… I don't know how I am still standing. I have no idea what is keeping me alive Mary…''

She smiled at one moment.

''She told me that she is sacrificing herself so I could live… I have no idea how to do that. I never did it in my life… Well, maybe today I made first step toward something resembling a normal life… I bought a house…and a vineyard… I am sure you are laughing wherever you are, but I did it. I haven't told anyone about it. It's about an hour from here…She would have loved it. It is beautiful place and she would have made it home. I know she would…So, now I have to make it home for us because I still feel her. To everyone else she is gone, they probably still speak of her because she has the halo inside of her, but to me she is still alive and in everything I do. I feel her in bed next to me. I can smell her fruity shampoo on the sheets she never slept in…Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.''

Her moment with Mary was interrupted by father Vincent. Beatrice got up and just gave him an angry look. She wanted to say so much, she even wanted to hurt him, but she somehow managed to keep calm.

''I'm sorry. I was told you left.''

''I am on my way now.''

She started walking away from him when he spoke to her.

''I miss her too…''

She turned back and sprinted to him putting her hand around her neck.

''You! You are not allowed to mention Mary, sister Shannon and especially Ava. You are not allowed to miss any of them after what you've done… Because of you I lost a mentor, a friend and the love of my life… You are lucky you are alive… I dreamed of killing you in so many ways, but I realized that your biggest punishment is staying alive and watching what your actions created. What you did to all of us and how because of you, we are all torn. No matter how painful your death would be, staying alive is bigger punishment for you.''

With that Beatrice walked away and left father Vincent alone with grave of the person who loved him and saw his as a family. Father Vincent watched Beatrice walk away and for a moment it felt like he was watching a stranger in the body of the person he once knew. Her body posture was still perfect. She was dressed beautifully. Her hair was up in a very neat bun. She had very little makeup, probably to cover rings under her eyes, but her eyes were empty and full of pain. That was not the woman he once knew and he realized that in the way, aside from being responsible for Ava's, Mary's and Shannon's death, he also killed Beatrice and left this shell of the person to wonder around. That broke him even more. Now he had to look at her face each time she would come to the convent and on her face he would relive all of his sins over and over. He knew there was no point in asking for forgiveness. This Beatrice had no ability to forgive anything anymore.