Ava saw panic on her wife's face and she knew she had to help somehow. It would be a lie to say that she didn't find Beatrice attractive and that she didn't want to have sex with her million times since she came back and even before…but that doesn't matter now. She sat and took Bea's hands in hers.

''Beatrice, listen to me… We don't have to do anything you are not ready to do. I honestly tell you that I don't mind waiting for you to be ready. I love you so much and I respect you. I want you to be willing participant in everything that happens…not feel forced into it.''

Beatrice smirked at Ava. She was not really drunk, but drunk enough to be brave. She pulled Ava close to her so their lips were almost touching.

''Are you trying to trick me out of my wedding night?''

Ava didn't expect that comment from her wife, but she also knew that Beatrice could be unpredictable and do unexpected things. She got up from the table and started unbuttoning her vest.

''Beatrice…''

''Yes, Ava…''

''What are you doing?''

''I am going to the bedroom… I have wedding night to celebrate…''

''Oh…''

''Yes, and I googled a lot of fun shit I want to try so keep up Ava… I might have to start without you.''

In the blink of an eye Beatrice was already at the top of the stairs and Ava just looked at her with her jaw on the floor. She should definitely get Beatrice drunk more often. This person was hot as hell. She followed Beatrice to the bedroom and found her setting the alarm clock on her phone and plugging it in.

''I was expecting to find you naked with a laptop and fun shit you googled.''

''Well I had some time to be adult before you remember how to use your legs and climb to the bedroom.''

''Always the responsible one.''

She put the phone on the night stand and took off her west. Ava was surprised to find a very sexy black, lacy pushup bra.

''Well, not it's time for you to be responsible…for my clothes to be off…''

''I like this side of you.''

Beatrice looked at Ava for a moment and got serious.

''I don't know this side of me. This is first time I am in a situation like this. I am twenty five years old woman who has to google how to have sex.''

''Other people google how to hotwire the car or how to kill a person in ten moves…and you know all of that… Plus some other amazing things you know.''

''And none of that has any use in the bedroom.''

''Well, I might me into dirty talk in Latin! Or any other out of sixty languages you know.''

Beatrice smiled and threw one of the small pillows at Ava.

''What? You know I'm right…''

Ava looked at Beatrice who had huge smile on her face that was accompanied with typical Beatrice blush.

''Dirty talk in Latin, really?''

''What can I do? I find it hot when you speak Latin… Reading that Warrior Nun diary in different languages…such a turn on…''

Beatrice smirked and opened her nightstand and got out the diary.

''Let's put it to test…''

Ava was and awe…

''You stole the diary?''

''It was one of the memories of you… Even if you haven't written a word in it.''

''I am sorry. I didn't have much time to write…''

''Well, now you will… When I am working, you will be writing and I don't want any excuse. That is something important for the Nuns that…''

''…that would come after me… You can say it Bea… I am aware of my own mortality and possibility that there will be many after me.''

''I don't want to talk about it now. Today is a happy day and no death talk…''

''Yes, dear.''

Beatrice put the diary back into her nightstand. And Ava took off her dress and got under covers.

''You are already in bed? I love it.''

''I am kicking ass at this wife thing.''

Beatrice removed the rest of the clothes and joined Ava in bed. She was nervous but somehow she felt safe in that bed with Ava. She knew she could always tell her to stop or ask her not to do some things she was not comfortable with. She knew she could be naked with Ava in every way possible…not just with her body, but also with her soul.

In the past Beatrice was curious what would it be like to make love to someone. She wondered how sister Shannon made peace with being a nun and being with Mary. It was not a secret that two of them were lovers, well more than that. Shannon was love of Mary's life. Only after losing Ava, she could grasp the pain Mary lived with until she died. In a morbid way, she envied Mary for being dead and finally being done with all the pain and emptiness time without the loved one. But now she was glad to be alive. She was in bed, next to Ava about to make love to her for the first time…No, about to make love for the first time.

Ava noticed that Beatrice was a bit lost somewhere. She touched her cheek and smiled.

''You are overthinking this… I must disappoint you. It will not be perfect. It will be clumsy, awkward and we will need to ask one another for directions.''

''Why do you think it will not be perfect?''

''Because we don't know each other's bodies at all…and let's be honest…We don't know our own bodies as well. You might have googled fun shit Bea…''

That earned her small slap on the hand and timid smile from Beatrice.

''…but it doesn't mean that you will like all of it, or even I would like some of it.''

''So, what do we do?''

''What you are best at… We learn… We ask questions…try things and talk to one another during the night. Even if it turns out to be clumsy disaster, I am not going anywhere and not giving up. It will be perfection at some point, when we learn what we like in bed and what the other person likes…But I would give us a few days to really be comfortable and know… So, let's just not think about sex as something that must happen, but something that might happen. I would be happy with just being in your arms…With you close to me naked…just kissing you and exploring your body. I dreamt of having you this close and in my arms for so long Bea… On the other side…You were the only thing on my mind.''

Ava positioned herself on her side right next to Beatrice. She put Beatrice's leg over her waist so they were face to face. Ava was touching Bea's face, her neck, shoulders, chest.

''I've spent years on the other side waiting to come back to you. I dreamt of having you this close and feeling you beside me. ''

She put her hand over Bea's heard and noticed how fast it was beating. Beatrice needed to hear those things because she felt them too. She felt like she had wanted Ava for such a long time that she couldn't even pinpoint the moment she knew. Ava became center of her existence and only thing keeping her alive. They all compared her to a robot. Made fun of her that she had no feelings and that even in the crisis you could always count on Beatrice to be rational and practical. With Ava all of that went out of the window.

Just as Ava told her, first time having sex was awkward, clumsy and even ended up with Ava falling off the bed. She kissed behind Beatrice's knee and since she was ticklish, she kicked Ava and she fell from the bed. That got them to laugh. Good thing was that Ava was healing pretty fast so there was no need to worry about the fall. It took them few hours to find their pace and after that Beatrice could say that she really enjoyed the rest of the evening. She discovered new side to her. She realized she really liked Ava's body. She started seeing her own body as beautiful because of the way Ava treated it and spoke about it. She grew to love her muscles, size of her breasts, little scars on her body. Ava wanted to know the story about each one of them and she would kiss and caress them like they were something precious. Ava made her feel wanted, loved, beautiful and deserving of love that night and she couldn't believe how happy she felt. She felt like her heart would burst from all the emotions in her. Ava put on Beatrice's robe and went downstairs to get them some water. Beatrice got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. She wanted to fill the tub for them to enjoy the bubble bath. Ava always wanted to have bubble bath but they never had time for that before. She stood naked in front of the mirror and studied herself. She looked the same as she did this morning after she had her shower. Her body looked the same, her hair was the same length…but somehow she was also not the same. She stood in front of the mirror and saw what Ava saw. She saw all the things she loved about her and smiled. Yes, she was beautiful and her love was beautiful. She was finally happy and she could see it. For the first time in her life, she saw something different in her own eyes. She was glowing, she had a smile on her face and she felt unbound. Damn her parents and all the others who are easy to judge and tell whose love is right or wrong.

Ava stood at the door watching Beatrice getting to know this new person she was becoming. She had two bottles of water in her hands and she put them on the shelf before she came behind Bea and put her arms around her.

''You see… I didn't lie… You are beautiful…''

''I am, am I?''

''I would go as far as calling you divine, but I don't want to risk your bad habit of warning me not to use words related to God to describe you.''

Beatrice put her hands over Ava's and smiled.

''I might allow it just this once…''

Ava kissed her shoulder and smiled into it.

''My love, you are not beautiful, you are divine…''

''Thank you Ava.''

''No, thank you. Thank you for choosing me Beatrice. I wish you could see yourself and see how essential you are to me. I hope that one day you will see yourself as I see you and love yourself as much as I love you.''

They shared a kiss and then Ava ended it.

''Can we take a quick shower and then go to sleep? You have busy day tomorrow. I know you don't like not to be on top of your game and I am tired too.''

''Sure…''

Shower they took was really quick. They were very careful around the tape covering their tattoos and every time they saw it on each other's body, they had huge smile on their faces.

''I can't believe you've got me to have a tattoo.''

''I can't believe you've said yes either. I was sure you wouldn't have done it.''

''I tend not to back out from the challenge.''

''I know. I counted on that.''

''Ava!''

''What? You do like challenges, especially when people believe you can't do something. I love you but for some things, I found you to be very predictable.''

Beatrice put on her underwear and nightgown.

''I hate you.''

Ava couldn't stop laughing.

''No, you don't B…''

When Ava got into bed, Beatrice was already in the middle of it waiting for her to cuddle up to her so they could sleep. It reminded Ava of the time spent in the Alps. Those two months were the happiest time she ever remembered in her life. She cuddled up to Beatrice and kissed her hand with a ring. She hoped the time ahead of them would be even better and that they would have many years to be happy and live their lives to the fullest. She also feared that wish she has is not that realistic.