Tags: canon divergent, what should have happened, what I wish would have happened, angst, heartbreak, hurt no comfort, longing

Hello and welcome to part 8 of the Arcade verse!

I use 1-3 lyrics from the original version of Arcade by Duncan Lawrence for this multifandom verse.

This is another thing I never thought I'd be writing a fanfic for, yet here I am. Gods of Jade and Shadow has never left my mind since reading it for the first time in October 2021. I reread it early last month and oooo boy I broke my heart all over again. I don't think this book will ever leave my mind. I love Hun-Kamé and Casiopea so much.

I will forever be disappointed that I never got my hands on the special edition version of the book that had them on the cover. It went up for preoder on the 15th of September and was still there with enough copies left in stock back in October. Maybe a different special edition will come out. *cries*

I hope we can get a movie adaptation. T_T

How many pennies in the slot?
Giving us up didn't take a lot
I saw the end 'fore it begun
Still I carried, I carried, I carry on

Casiopea didn't know how long it was after her cousin Martín left that she kept pacing up and down the hallway where her hotel room was. Nor did she know how many times she stopped her pacing to stand in front of Hun-Kamé's hotel room with her hand hovering over the doorknob. Each time she stopped, her heart felt like it broke a little bit more.

"Come on. Just open it," she whispered and finally wrapped her hand around the cold metal knob. Her mouth ran dry, perhaps to save up for the tears that stayed welled in her eyes and never fell during her pacing sessions. She took a deep breath before she twisted the knob and pulled the door open with ease and stepped through the threshold. She bumped the door shut with her heel and let out the breath she held in a shudder.

The hotel room was lifeless. The time she spent with Hun-Kamé felt like a dream. A dream that played with her heartstrings and tugged them tightly, but no. It was not a dream. Everything that happened wasn't a dream. It was all very real. Atop the neatly made bed rested the hat he wore. She brushed away a stray tear and went to the closet. Inside hung all of the suits he collected on their long journey. She touched one with shaky hands and closed her eyes for just a moment. Her hand trailed down smooth fabric all the way to the pants' pocket where a few coins jingled. How many pennies in the slot? Giving us up didn't take a lot. Hun-Kamé told her that her words had the power to create and shape things. She could have made him anew, but then Vucub-Kamé would have continued his reign in Xibalba. He'd descend into a craving for bloodshed. So many people would die all for Casiopea and Hun-Kamé's selfish desires. In the end, it was easy to give him up. It was easy to bottle up her emotions.

The first time she heard him laugh echoed in her mind. The reminder of how she changed him…that all he could think about was her. When they danced together and their first kiss together…Their kissing and stargazing knee-deep in the ocean away from his brother's prying eyes during their final hour together…

Casiopea stepped back and swallowed against the lump that wedged its way into her throat. She made her way to the bed and stared down at it through tears she didn't bother to wipe away. Not a single dark strand of Hun-Kamé's hair was to be seen, almost like he never existed at all.

She climbed into the bed and picked up the hat and laid down on the pillow on her side, her back to the door. She hugged the hat near and dear to her chest as if that was enough to bring him back to Earth—to the Middleword. She sobbed. She sobbed for the handsome Death God that appeared as an attractive young man. Hun-Kamé was a man in a sense. As far as anyone knew he was a man to them. The people they passed on their journey would never know they walked beside a Maya Death God.

He showed her nothing but kindness even though he was cold and emotionless at first. He never was cross with her. Even while her life was draining into him through his bone shard stuck in her finger.

I saw the end 'fore it begun.

He loved her and she loved him, but it was foolish to hope that they could have had a chance together. She knew that never would have been possible. They were never meant to be in the end—mortal and immortal. He would have forgotten her. She wondered if he'd remember her when she died. If they'd have a chance then. She wondered if she would ever see him again before that. The chances were unlikely.

Casiopea hugged the hat tighter and hiccuped. The poor pillow was soaked where her tears landed. How could she be so foolish to long for someone that could never be? She never thought anyone would love her like that. Not when she was always stuck slaving around at home.

She closed her eyes and sniffled. Amongst the living was where she belonged. She had to keep going. Hun-Kamé would have wanted that. She wanted that.

She allowed herself to mourn him for a bit longer. Then she rose from the bed and held onto the hat. With one hand she fixed her dark bob and put on Hun-Kamé's hat. It was the one and only physical thing she could take with her to remember him by. She sniffled and wiped her tears away.

Amongst the living was where she belonged—she knew. There was a whole world out there for her to see. Plenty of nights to gaze up at the stars. Maybe even learn to drive an automobile.

Still I carried, I carried, I carry on. Casiopea had a long life to look forward to and sometimes time did wonders. Time would tell when her heart would mend. That much was very true.

As she left the hotel room and traveled out of the building she saw the small smile on the Frenchman's face as he held the automobile's passenger door open for her. Despite the lingering ache in her heart, she smiled back because she knew one day the longing wouldn't be bad anymore. She knew she was going to be okay.

Thank you for reading! Nice comments are appreciated!

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