Lord of the Rings: The Trinkets of Authority
Authers Notes: I am sorry to Jeff Bezos that his Lord of the Rings series was a failure is not good when you have an idea but it doesn't do well and this was a 1 billion dollar idea so he must feel really bad. Though realy he should have spent it on somthing else like my idea for what I would make with a billion dollars, Judge Dredd the Musical. If anyone knows Jeff Bezos could they suggest that idea for him because that is bound to be a hit and a good use of a billion dollars. Also this fanfic is how I would have made Lord of the Rings the Rings of Power so take notes Jeff Bezos.
Intro song: Clouds and Feuds From Age of Wonders - watch?v=SbwgdajNpU0
So Harry the Elf who was an elf had faed many battles and did many mighty deeds. His city had now advanced into the bronze age and he was a great king. However he still missed Mandy who was wonderful and beatfiul and had a great pair of breasts. He never could think of where he might find an another elven woman with a a pair of tits like Mandy's. That thought sadded him and he had Mandy's bra sent to various kingdoms to find a elven woman who could fit her bra but none could.
It was at that point a royal advaisor came to Harry the Elf and spoke these words "alothough Mandy the Elf and her amazing tits are no more and your grace has not been able to find another Elf woman with breasts to match. Though prehaps your heignous you could consider taking a humen wife I hear they are all the rage after their appreance and very much in fashion thanks to Beren and Luthien. The Humens also have a great cilivsation right now called Númenor and that it is also a great play for a holyiday this time of century" and Harry thinked that he had a good idea because he is bored with all this cilvlsation building with nobody to fight or monster to kill and he is very bored so a holyiday is could be a good idea. Also a Humen wife might work and a new wife would be better than just paying for strippers or courtesans or having conubines like Harry had been having. "I have noted your idea Barry and I have deicded to take this journey. I shall be joined by my best friend Andy" and so Harry bid goodbye to his favorute courtesans and strippers and concubines who were all sad to see him go.
So Harry sailed the seven seas and made it to Númenor and that tune from Elder Scrolls I: Arena played the one that plays when enter a city. There were many pepole wondering the streats and Harry axed one of them some directions and some new the way and some did not and other who were very helpfull mark the location on Harry's map. Then Harry asked a Humen where the inn is and he sayed "Don't talk down to me you snobby elf" and then Harry realsied that he was speaking to the dude in ediquite and deided to use his streetwise skill insted and got a better response.
So Harry the Elf arived at teh inn and got a place to sleeping in and he had a choic beteween single, double, suite, king's suite, and emperor's suite. Harry the Elf has the moneyes and sos he goes for hte emperoers suite and had a good knight's sleep and but he whent for a midnite walk because he wanted to look at the moon and compose a poem. But then he was attacked by a assin "I had pledged myslef to Morgoth Sama さま and but he is been defated by you elves and the Valar. Still I will have my revenge! Die Harry"
So they fort and he threw a knife at Harry which split into two nifes and thant four and than eighyt and thant sixtan and so on. So there was many knifed coming at Harry and he thinked "How do I get out of this one"
Find out next timre
To Be Countued...
Credits Theme: The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again (single mix) - watch?v=tE3eOBXvFyg
Next time on The Trinkets of Authority
"This insane speed how do I fight this man" criwed Harry
"I have been sent by Sauron Sama and you deaf is near elf"
"Darkon I should have known your evil would be near by"
"I have no hand in this Harry like you I am looking for an Humen waifu or waifus of my own"
"You cant not have moar than one waifu!"
"Darkon is defiling Humen women left right and centure! He is giving Elves a bad name!"