(A/N: Now it's time for us all to head on back to Isle Delfino for a "Super Mario Sunshine" fic. Do you guys remember that cutscene when Shadow Mario is about to escape to Pinna Island with Peach? That's where this story begins!)
Mario had just returned to Delfino Plaza after spending some time in Ricco Harbor. By now, he had recovered a total of 10 Shine Sprites. He was feeling pretty good that he was easily bringing back the missing Shine Sprites, even though he wasn't the one who scared them all away like a dumb dope.
The red-capped plumber walked over to where he knew Princess Peach, Toadsworth, and the 5 Toads had been standing for quite some time. To his surprise, he found Toadsworth and the Toads panicking. Something was wrong.
"Cosa sta succedendo? What's going on?" Mario asked in concern, knowing that something bad had to have happened while he was away.
"Master Mario, you're back! Oh, thank Grambi you've finally returned!" Toadsworth exclaimed, sounding relieved and worried at the same time as he rushed over to the plumber.
"Toadsworth, what happened?! Where is Peach?!" Mario asked, even more worried as he realized that his princess was nowhere to be seen.
"That's just it, Mario! She's been kidnapped!" the Yellow Toad said.
"What?! Not again!" Mario cried.
"Yes, again! And do you know who did it? That same freak who grabbed her and tried to run off with her not too long ago!" cried the Green Toad.
"Mama-mia, not him again! Where did they go?!" Mario asked, ready to give chase.
"They've escaped to the west! Go, Mario! Please get the Princess back! She needs you now more than ever!" Toadsworth begged.
"Don't worry, Toadsworth! I'm heading in that direction right now! I'll save Peach if it's the last thing I do!" Mario promised, and off he went, determined to rescue the woman of his dreams.
Mario got to where the suspect's Bowser-looking sub/ship was parked in less than a minute, and sure enough, the Princess was in it, right behind the bad guy.
"Mario!" Peach called out to her boyfriend when she saw him approach.
The bad guy put his paintbrush out in front of Peach, and she was standing on some platform that caused her to shake as she was taken into the vehicle.
While the Princess's platform was descending, the bad guy made the biggest mistake he ever made in his life. He was doing that taunt where you pull down on your lower eyelid and stick your tongue out at somebody. (A/N: I saw Sonic the Hedgehog do that to a robot in an episode of "Sonic X".) But this guy's tongue was long enough to be used for a freaking jump rope, dangling right in front of Mario's face.
When Mario realized that his enemy actually had the gall to think of taunting him in the most annoying way he could, he was FURIOUS! This jerk had pushed his buttons one too many times already, and he'd had more than enough of it! He wasn't going to stand for this malarkey any longer!
So Mario reached out and grabbed the bad guy's tongue before he could put it back in his mouth, which caused the villain to gasp in surprise. He didn't count on Mario doing that! And the worst part for the villain was that in spite of the fact Mario was wearing gloves, and the fact that the tongue was wet and slimy, the plumber had a pretty good grip on the thing; it wasn't slipping out of his grasp.
"This isn't good..." the villain thought, trying to fight the oncoming feeling of dread that threatened to take hold of him the way Mario took hold of his tongue.
Then, if that wasn't bad enough for him, Mario grabbed another section of the tongue, and he began to twirl the villain's tongue. This caused the villain to get pulled out of his vehicle, and before he knew what was going on, Mario was twirling the villain over his head like a lasso!
Mario hadn't done something like this in a long time, so it surprised him when he found that he was doing it again, and that he was still able to do it with ease. Well, he was mad enough, and when people get mad enough, they do things they didn't know they could do. (A/N: The first time he did this was in the final chapter of the "Super Mario Adventures" comic. Plus, this helped make good practice for the minigame "Blazing Lassos", which would appear in "Mario Party 8".)
The villain hadn't seen this coming at all, and he was beginning to think that maybe he should've been smart and kept his tongue in his mouth, which is where it belonged. But noooo! He couldn't resist the urge to taunt Mario. He just had to go and do that stupid taunt! If he hadn't been such a stupid dummy, then he wouldn't be in this mess!
Eventually, Mario let go of his adversary, who was screaming like a little girl as he went flying over the buildings, right into the side of the Shine Gate!
WHAM! The bad guy hit the side of the Shine Gate so hard that everyone nearby looked to see what had caused that sound.
The bad guy then fell to the ground, but he fell backward and away from the Shine Gate, hitting the basket owned by the Pianta woman who was craving some durians. She had gone out to get some durians for her basket, and she was on her way back when she heard her basket break with a sickening CRUNCH!
The sound caused the Pianta woman to drop the fruits and run to the basket to see what had happened to it. Well, when she saw who was lying on her basket, which was now smashed to pieces, she had a major freak-out that got the attention of every Pianta in the vicinity!
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S... IT'S HIM! IT'S THE GUY WHO RUINED OUR ISLAND! HE JUST DESTROYED MY BASKET!" the Pianta woman screamed. Then, snatching the villain's paintbrush out of his hands, she started to beat him with the handle of it, screaming, "YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES, VILLAIN! PAAAAAYYYYY UUUUUPPPPP!"
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Cut it out, lady! I didn't do anything! Stop it! Leave me alone!" the villain exclaimed, but the woman did not hear him over her screaming and yelling as she taught him a lesson he did not think he deserved.
All the nearby Piantas hurried over there to help the Pianta woman by apprehending the bad guy for her. They dove on top of him and held his arms and legs to keep him from attacking them in an attempt to make them let go of him. And they dragged him through the plaza, ready to see him get a well-deserved punishment from the cops.
While the bad guy was learning a valuable lesson, Mario leaped into the vehicle and raised the platform Peach was standing on, bringing her back up to the surface. Then Mario leaped over to his girlfriend's side.
"Stai bene, mia principessa? Are you okay, my princess?" Mario asked Peach, taking her delicate hands in his own.
"Mario! You're here!" the Princess exclaimed, relief evident in her lovely voice.
"Yes, Peach, it's-a me, Mario. The bad guy is gone for now." Mario assured her.
"He is? Oh, thank you, Mario!" Peach said, wrapping her arms around Mario very tightly. She was so happy that he had come to save her life.
"Peach, did he hurt you?" Mario asked Peach as he returned her embrace. He had been so worried about her when he found out that the little blue dweeb had decided to go after her and try to take her away while he was busy at Ricco Harbor.
"No, he didn't hurt me, but I'm afraid that he would have if you hadn't shown up when you did. He really just scared me. I'm so glad you're here, Mario! I knew you wouldn't let me down!" Peach said, giving Mario a kiss on the cheek.
"Ti amo, Peach. I love you. And it's-a because I love you so much that I'll never let you down." Mario said, glad that he had rescued his princess from possibly being raped, or worse.
"You're the most amazing man I've ever known, Mario. I love you, too! Thank you so much for saving me from that faker!" Peach replied.
"Prego. You're welcome, Peach. Now come on. Let's-a see if we can't find somewhere safe for you and the Toads to be until that little bonehead is put away." Mario said as he lifted Peach effortlessly into his arms.
At that moment, the two heard what sounded like an angry mob hurrying by.
"What was that?" Peach asked, looking at her beau with confusion on her pretty face.
"Non lo so. I don't know. Let's-a go and find out." Mario said, following the sounds of anger, still holding his girlfriend in his arms.
Mario and Peach followed the sound of the mob to the police station, where the cops stood outside, being lazy and slacking off, even though they said they'd be watching Mario to make sure that that's what he wouldn't be doing.
That was when the cops heard what sounded like an angry mob approaching, which was more than enough to get their complete attention. When they looked up, they saw a large crowd of Piantas coming their way. Something was up, and they needed to find out what it was.
"What's going on here?!" the Chief asked.
All of the Piantas in the mob started yelling at once.
"One at a time! ONE AT A TIME!" said the rookie, barely able to understand what everyone was trying to say.
"We got him!" said a purple male Pianta.
"Got who?" asked the rookie.
"HIM!" yelled the crowd in unison, and they parted to show 4 Piantas holding the bad guy by his arms and legs to keep him from attacking them. They brought him forward to where the cops stood.
"Whoa! So, you were slacking off again, huh, pal?" asked the Chief as he took the villain from the Piantas that were holding him.
"You bet he was! And do you know what else he did?! He smashed the basket I was going to put my durians in!" the woman who owned the basket exclaimed.
"Oh! So polluting our island isn't enough for you, is it? Now you go and destroy something that isn't yours?! You owe that lady a new basket!" the rookie said, wrenching the villain's arms behind his back.
"And some new durians! I was so shocked that I dropped them!" the woman added.
"I owe you nothing!" the villain shouted at the woman.
And then a male's voice with an Italian accent spoke up and said, "That's what you think! You're not getting off scot-free! You actually owe all of us something: a good explanation!"
The crowd and the cops looked in the direction the voice came from, and they saw Mario standing there with Princess Peach in his arms.
...Hold it right there! The people in the mob were sure they'd handed Mario over to the cops, yet here he was, not apprehended by the cops, with a lovely young lady in his arms! Now everyone was very shocked and confused.
"Wait a second?! There's two of him?!" asked a yellow female Pianta as Mario gently set the Princess on her feet. But Mario was holding her hand tightly to make sure the little jerk couldn't run off with her again in case he got free. If he tried to take her away, then Mario would feel it, and he could save her in time.
"Which one of these two is the bad guy we want?!" the Chief asked.
"He is!" Mario and the villain said in unison, pointing at the other. Realizing what the other was implying, they yelled at each other, "You know you are!" Then they got fed up and yelled, "Stop copying me, you lying liar!"
"Oh, this is going to get us nowhere fast..." the Chief muttered as he shook his head in disbelief. He wanted to facepalm, but he couldn't let go of the bad guy.
"Hey, Chief, maybe we should ask the lady who the real criminal is." the rookie whispered to his superior.
"Which lady? The one who got her basket broken, or the one who the other Mario is with?" asked the Chief.
"The latter lady." said the rookie.
"Okay." said the Chief. Still clutching the bad guy, the police officers asked Peach to please step forward. She did, with Mario still clutching her hand. Mario also stood back a few paces while Peach spoke with the cops.
"How may I help you, officers?" Peach asked.
"You wouldn't mind answering some questions for us, would you, miss?" the Chief asked Peach.
"I'll answer them as best I can." Peach replied.
"Okay. Which of these men is the bad guy? Is it this guy, or the one holding your hand?" the rookie asked.
"Well, let's see... I wouldn't be holding hands with a bad guy, so I think that answers your question. It's obviously the guy you're holding back." Peach replied.
"I am not the villain here!" said the bad guy.
"Yes, you are! Don't deny it!" Peach said.
"I mean it! I'm the victim here!" said the bad guy.
"Oh, is that so? What kind of victim grabs me and runs off with me like he's planning to assault me?! Riddle me that!" Peach said.
The words 'assault me' were all the cops needed to hear from Peach. They said, "That will be all, miss. Thank you for your time." And then they dragged the villain into the jail, ready to unmask him and find out where he got off messing up their island and trying to rape somebody.
"Mario, what happened to make him say that he's the victim?" Peach asked her boyfriend in a whisper. She didn't know, but she figured Mario might be able to tell her. Mario grinned widely and whispered to her what he did. When Peach heard it, she said, "That really doesn't sound fair."
"Peach, if there's one thing I've learned about dealing with villains, the idea when I'm fighting them is to seek victory, not fairness." Mario said.
(A/N: What Mario said is a lesson Master Splinter taught Leonardo in an episode of the 2012 "TMNT" cartoon.)
Peach thought about that for a moment before saying, "Okay, I see your point. If you fought them fairly, who knows what they could do to me?"
"Exactly. That is why I did what I had to do." Mario said.
"That's my Mario." Peach smiled.
In the station, the cops forcibly unmasked the villain by using their tasers on him. That caused him to assume his true form!
"Cut that out, you morons! I didn't do anything!" the true villain, who looked like a small, ugly turtle with spikes on his shell complained.
"First of all, you can't call us morons! And secondly, yes, you did! The one woman says you broke her basket!" the rookie said.
"Yeah, well, she deserved it! She's the one who took my paintbrush!" the kid complained.
"Wait a second!" said the Chief. He went outside and asked, "Will the woman with the broken basket please come forward?"
The Pianta woman walked over and asked, "Yes, officers?"
"You have the villain's paintbrush in your possession?" the Chief asked.
"Oh, right. I almost forgot that I had to use it on him to teach him a lesson for breaking my basket. Here it is." the woman said, handing the paintbrush to the Chief.
"Thank you, miss." the Chief said as he took the weapon and went back into the station.
Peach asked the woman what kind of lesson she taught the villain, and the woman told her. Mario heard it and couldn't help giggling at the thought of the criminal, whoever it was, getting beaten with his own weapon.
Back with the police, they found out that the child's name was Bowser Jr. He claimed that the giant paintbrush was indeed his, and that he needed it.
"For what? Look at the bristles. The paint on them looks like the stuff that polluted our island. If this brush is really yours, then you're in a world of trouble, kid, and Mario is off the hook." said the rookie.
"What?! You can't let Mario off the hook! He kidnapped my mama because he's a bully who never fights fair! You have to throw him back in prison! Why didn't you guys lock him up like you were supposed to?!" Jr. said.
"Well, that's simple. You see, his punishment was to clean up our island, and he can't do that when he's behind bars, can he?" asked the Chief.
"Throw him back in the cell like you were supposed to do in the first place! I didn't go and cause all this trouble just to watch you guys play stupid by not locking up Mario!" Jr. exclaimed.
A record scratch was heard when the Chief and the rookie heard that last part. Bowser Jr. just went and admitted that he caused all that trouble!
"You're the one made a mess of our home?!" the Chief and the rookie exclaimed in anger, their eyes wide with shock.
"Uhh... did I say that?" Jr. asked nervously. He quickly tried to save himself by saying, "I mean... Mario made me do it! Yeah! He wanted to make me look bad, but I'm glad you cops knew better than to think I did it!"
"Yeah, nice try, you whiny little brat. We now know you did it, and for all we know, you were probably lying about your mommy being kidnapped." the Chief said as they handcuffed his hands behind his back and walked him down the hall to an empty cell.
"But she was kidnapped! Didn't you see her out there?! She was in the arms of that Mario creep! He's the one who caused all this trouble! Arrest him, not me!" Jr. said, moving his legs like he was trying ot get away, but the cops were holding him above the ground, so he was moving his legs to find that they weren't going to take him anywhere.
"Are you talking about the woman who said you were planning to rape her?! Nah, we don't really believe she's your mother. She looks nothing like you. We also heard her say that you were planning to assault her, and kids can get in a world of trouble they can't get out of for assaulting their mommies." the rookie said as he unlocked the door to a vacant cell.
"I wasn't going to do that to her! I was taking her back to Papa! He was going to be so very proud of me for outsmarting that stupid Mario jerk!" Jr. said.
"Yeah, well, he'd best forget about seeing her, or you, for a very long time!" said the cops, and they threw Jr. into the cell with a mighty heave-ho and slammed the door shut. Then they locked the door.
"You idiots! Let me out of here!" Jr. hollered.
"No! We'll let you out of there tomorrow morning, when you can start cleaning up the island. And you're gonna do it with your tongue!" the Chief said.
"WHAT?! I can't use my tongue! Didn't you see what that lousy Mario did to it?!" Jr. asked.
The cops weren't there, so they didn't see what Mario had done. Plus, for someone who said there was something wrong with his tongue, he seemed to have no problems with talking fluently.
"Okay, then. Show us your tongue." the rookie said.
Jr. stuck out his tongue, and the cops looked at it. There was nothing wrong with his tongue.
"You're lying, kid. Your tongue looks just fine. It'll help you clean up the mess you made." said the Chief as he and the rookie left Jr. in the cell to think about what he had done.
The cops came out of the station and told everyone outside that Mario was as innocent as a kitten, and the real criminal was now behind bars. And what's more, everyone was going to keep an eye on him to make sure he did his job, starting tomorrow!
Everybody cheered, but no one was happier than Mario and Peach. They were so relieved that they were kissing each other passionately, glad that the pest who wanted to ruin everything for them was taken care of.
Bowser never did find out what happened to Jr. until long after Mario and Peach returned to the Mushroom Kingdom. Plus, they found out that the paintbrush had been stolen, and they were able to return it to its owner after the trip was over.
Either way, Isle Delfino was cleaned up and put back to the way it was before Jr. went and messed it up, Mario was apologized to, and he and Peach had a fun vacation. Plus, they couldn't resist taunting Jr. by kissing each other on the lips like a couple of crazy kids in love whenever they passed by him.
The End
Okay, that ended well for Mario, with Jr. being a blabbermouth after Mario attacked him in a way he never imagined. I got the idea for this fic not too long ago, and I hope you guys enjoyed it!