Ch. 11 – Shame

I bet not a lot of people have spent a week with vampires and lived to tell about it. Especially really nice vampires that carry you up the stairs and stuff. I wished that I could watch them as they hunted on the mountains and in the forest, but Mr. Diggory said no. But I peered out of the window just in time to see the family's blurs run into the forest. With a sigh, I wished I were a vampire. I mean, there was really no downside to it.

But the family seemed to think otherwise. "No," said Mr. Diggory flatly after I asked him if I could be a vampire. "You don't want to be a vampire. Enjoy the rest of your life as a human, and not eternity as a monster."

"But Mr. Diggory, I don't want to be human."

"No. You do want to be human. I would only turn somebody if I had no other choice."

And that was the end of that. When Christmas came around, I snuck out of the house into the village and bought everybody gifts. They all got me gifts, but I refused them.

"For Christmas, I'd like you to turn me into a vampire," I said at dinner. "Please?"

Mikel gave me a stern look. "Not only does it hurt beyond all things, but you're cursed. You live into eternity as a monster. You don't want that."

And that was the end of that. I just didn't understand what was so wrong. Beautiful, fast, strong, immortal… everything everyone wants to be. Maybe they want to hoard vampire powers for themselves! But I doubted that. They were too nice. I thought about it all week until we were on the Hogwarts Express, and seeing all my friends distracted me.

"Ashlee! Draco! Harry, Ron, Hermione!" I shouted, capturing them in a group hug. "How was Christmas for you guys?"

"Great!" said Ashlee.

"Awesome!" said Ron.

"Gloriouth!" said Draco. "I love the Chrithmath thpirit! Thoooo fethtive!"

Though I was in static to see all my friends, I was not looking forward to school. Classes were so boring! I sat at breakfast munching on a carrot, dreading the assumption of Transfiguration and History of Magic. I would have to say goodbye to Cedric after a solid week together, and that was hard. I sighed. But nobody could hear it because of a loud banging coming from the side of the hall.

Heads turned as the nose grew louder and lessen few in far between. Nobody said a word, but a few wands were pulled out, knuckles clenched to white around them. The air was tense and nervous in anticipation, and I felt my pulse quicken and deepen. I wondered what Cedric and Mikel were going to do. They couldn't reveal themselves as vampires, or else everybody in the school would panic. I wondered if Dumbledore knew. If he did, why did he send the letters? Maybe he knew they were safe vampires.

Then, when the knocking had reached its latex, it stopped. Just a second ago it had been so loud and fast that it sounded like a jackhammer. We all looked at the wall as if it was still going.

Before I could turn around and continue eating and put my wand away, the hall was filled with a massive explosion that rippled through the air, shattering glasses and plates. We all ducked under the table as dust and powder swirled about our noses and lungs, making us sack and cough.

A deep, evil sounding laugh reasoned and echoed around the large hall. Cautiously, I poked my head above the table so I could find out what was going on. I gasped. I t was hard to make out the face through the particles in the air, but I had seen that face before…

Hobogo Gogetta! Here! At Hogwarts, here and now! For… me!

I quickly manholed myself under the table with my back facing the killer in the hopes he did not see me. A few seconds later, my friends recognized him as well. They all gasped.

"Bella, get out of here before he sees you!" whispered Hermione fiercely. "Now, Bella!"

"It's too late. I can't get up and go. He'll see me. I have to stay here." It was the truth. I was beginning to realize that I was going to die today. I was going to die here, at Hogwarts. But I accepted that. It was how things must be.

"Now," said the killer in a falsely sweet voice, "who can introduce me to, ah, Miss Swan?"

I didn't say anything, and neither did anybody else. After a few seconds of silence, he continued.

"Nobody? Nobody knows where she is? Oh, you mustn't think I want to harm her! No, no, quite the opposite." He topped to chuckle. "It wouldn't do to hurt family, now would it?"

My jaw dropped, along with all the other students'. Family? No. No, no, no. He was just making that up so he could lure me out. I wanted to stand up and reveal myself before anything bad happened, but I wanted him to keep talking. Family?

"Yes, I'm sure that comes as a shock to some of you. But it is true. We are family… I am her father."

Gasps and shocks came from everybody in the hall, including me. No wonder he looked so familiar when I saw him in the newspaper… I saw my face in his. What about my dad back in Forks? If he wasn't really my dad, then who was he? Did he know? Or perhaps he actually believed he was my father. I did, so why should he?

"You will not touch her!" shouted a voice from the staff table. It was Professor Snape! "Now, leave this place." His voice and face were grave.

"Oh, but I must! If you will not show me where she is, I will look for her myself. And I will kill every student I see until I find her."

This was it. I had to stand up now and sacrifice myself before he hurt anybody. I started to push myself to my feet, ignoring my friends' protests.

"I have to do this," I whispered to them, "so none of you die."

But before I could stand and face, somebody else did.

"I am Bella Swan!" a voice rang.

Everybody turned, expecting to see me. But they didn't. They saw somebody else.

Ashlee.

"Yessir, I am Bella Swan. Your dearest daughter. Now, what do you want?"

I tried to stand up, but Hermione and Harry held me down.

"Bella, you can't!" whispered Hermione and Harry held me down.

"I can't let her! It's got to be me!" I seamed back, angry. "I can't let her ruin her life like this! Let me GO!"

The killer laughed. "Very well. Come here, girl."

Everybody watched in horror as Ashlee walked towards him, head held high defectively. I cried as I watched my friend and a murderer leave the hall through the hole in the wall. That should be me, I thought bitterly as they disapparated. That should be me going to my doom.

I felt sorry for Ashlee's parents. They would be even more sad than me. I wondered who would tell them.

I felt everybody's heads turn in my direction. They were going to blame me for this, for not taking any responsibility and losing Ashlee over it, for being a coward.I wish I could tell them that I was going to, but waited too long. That I was held down, that I was going to do what I had to.

I could feel the negativity towards me. Bella Swan, the coward. Bella Swan, who would let her friends fall before her without doing a single thing herself. Nobody said it, but I knew they were thinking it.

Still nobody said anything as I broke free of Harry and Hermione's hold, clutching my face as I ran sobbing from the hall.