AUTHOR'S NOTE-Hello all! This is my first story, so please be gentle. Any advice you choose to give will be greatly appreciated. I'm not a big fan of long author notes, so I'll let you get on with it.
DISCLAIMER-All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.
BPOV
"Why do I always let you guys talk me into these things?"
"Stop being such a bitch Bella! This is the last night that all of us will be together until at least Thanksgiving. So just fucking deal with it okay?" Rosalie Hale. Blunt as usual. I guess I'm one of the few that loves that about her. I can always trust Rose to be honest with me about anything whether I want to hear it or not. I'm not going to say that she was the first true friend I ever had, but our friendship blossomed during a time when I really needed it and because of that she will always be special to me.
Then we have Alice Brandon, my other best friend, who is currently trying to coax me into wearing "The Perfect Outfit". She and Rosalie are complete opposites. While most people consider Rose to be a cold hearted bitch, Alice is a fun, carefree, happy all the time kind of person. She is a little on the eccentric side, but that's why she fit so well with Rose and I. Alice will never pretend to be someone she's not for no one.
"Alice, you know I love you and have willingly agreed to let you play dress up with me more times than I care to remember, but I have to draw the line at backless halter tops and leather pants, not to mention the heels." Our little "group" is supposed to be going to a club tonight in Seattle to celebrate everyone leaving for college. Being the natural clumsy person that I am, wearing four inch heels is just guaranteeing me a one way ticket to the ER.
Oh, great! I see her pout forming already. "Bella, after this weekend you're off to New Hampshire while I'll still be here in Washington and in case you haven't checked yet, that's over 3000 miles away." She pulled out the big guns didn't she?
"Fine! Whatever! But just remember that you two are the ones that decided to follow your "boys" to school, not I. Speaking of which, you better hope Emmett gets here to pick us up before Charlie comes home because he will flip if he sees me in that outfit!"
"Well Bella, we could very well say the same thing about you and your boy."
"Fuck you Rose! Me going to Dartmouth has nothing what so ever to do with Dickward! With him studying medicine and me studying English, I'll probably never have to even see him."
"And did you forget that you're going to be neighbors?"
"Did YOU forget that he lives right next door to me now Alice? And not to mention, the only times are paths seem to cross is when we're forced to do so by either you guys or our parents. Once we move and you're all out of the way, we won't ever have to see each other!"
"Ouch, that hurt. Sort of. Now let's get you dressed!"
As I succumbed to Alice's request, I couldn't help getting a little emotional. I am really going to miss these girls. I just can't believe I will be on a plane in two days heading off to start the next chapter of my life and leaving behind everything and everyone that I've ever known and loved. Well, maybe I'm not leaving everyone behind, just everyone that matters. I'll still be stuck with Cullen.
Edward Cullen, the bane of my existence. I've spent the past year praying daily to every god out there to please make him change his mind about Dartmouth. But, the gods decided not to grant me mercy and to prove it his ass will be seated right next to me on that plane to New Hampshire.
Edward and I didn't always hate each other. We used to be best friends.
Our parents are extremely close friends and have been since high school. They all went to college together and afterwards moved back home to Forks to start their families. Carlisle and Esme, Edward's parents, immediately bought the house next door. A year later our house came up for sale and my parents, Charlie and Renee, jumped on it. It wasn't long after that when Esme discovered she was pregnant and Renee followed suit three months later. Our families did everything together from holidays to vacations and still do regardless of mine and Edward's non-existent relationship. Both sets of parents had always hoped that Edward and I would end up together as a couple and our mothers don't hide the fact that they still do.
I will never admit it to anyone, but there are times when I do miss him. We shared such a close bond that it's hard to believe our friendship turned into the mess that it did. We were it for each other when we were younger. We didn't need any other friends. Maybe that was our first mistake. Regardless, everything we had went up in flames the summer before our sophomore year and there was nothing left of our friendship after that but ashes.
I realized right before our freshman year that my feelings toward Edward were changing. We had both changed quite a bit physically over that summer and whether or not he noticed it, I certainly did. He had turned into quite the handsome fifteen year old and I wasn't the only girl who saw this. Edward started getting into sports that year as well and became friends with Emmett McCarty and Jasper Whitlock. I liked them too. They were like brothers to me then and I still feel the same way about them today. What did change was the amount of time I got to spend to spend with Edward.
Renee eventually got sick of my moping and told me that I needed to get some new friends of my own. I even had to listen to her lecture of how Edward is getting older and is going to want to "hang out with the guys" more and that I needed to do the same with other girls. With my birthday being a week away, she suggested that this was the perfect opportunity to invite some girls from school over for a sleepover. Worst mistake of my life!
I was somewhat friends with Angela Webber. She was a very quiet and shy person, but someone I could see myself relating to. Unfortunately, to be friends with Angela meant you also had to be friends with Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. They had all been friends since kindergarten. So I sucked it up, took Renee's advice and invited them to my sleepover. The fact that up until then, Jessica and Lauren had treated me like a pariah, yet almost did cartwheels when I invited them should have tipped me off that something was up, but whatever.
Birthdays were always a big deal with me and Edward and he actually seemed disappointed about me not having an actual birthday party. I guess he recovered quickly though, because the next thing I knew he had invited the guys to spend that night with him.
The night of my sleepover started off well enough. We did the usual girl stuff. Ice cream, scary movies, makeovers, gossiping, and so on. It wasn't until my parents went to bed and Jess suggested we play truth or dare that things got dicey. She ended up daring me to sneak Edward and the guys over. Of course, wanting to get in good with these girls, I assured them that this was something I could do and turned back up ten minutes later with all three boys in tow.
I knew both Jessica and Lauren had a thing for Edward. But honestly, what girl didn't have a crush on him? It didn't make me jealous. I knew that all those other girls weren't Edward's type, or so I thought.
In hindsight, even though I knew that my feelings for Edward had shifted out of the friends category, I still hadn't acknowledged the depth of those feelings. But let's just say by the end of that night, I was well educated.
Spin The Bottle. Who could have imagined that one stupid little game could cause so much epic heart fail? Of course it was Jessica's brilliant idea. I refused to play. It wasn't that I was scared of having my first kiss, okay that's a lie. I was fucking terrified! I mean, I would have loved to kiss Edward, but I had no guarantees that he would be the one that I ended up kissing and as I said before, Em and Jazz are like my brothers, so that would be… Ewww, no!
As I stood up to go set on the couch, I had hoped Edward would follow my lead, but he didn't. He just sat there in that little circle on my living room floor while Jessica scooted over to him whispering something in his ear. Lauren went first and ended up kissing Emmett. It was actually kind of funny. I think that was the first time I saw Emmett scared of anything. I knew for a fact that myself and the guys and I'm pretty sure Angela too had never been kissed before. Jessica and Lauren being the sluts that they are had plenty of experience though.
Jessica took her turn next and OF COURSE it landed on Edward. I remember holding my breath to keep from crying and just hoping that he would change his mind at the last second. It didn't happen though. His mistake was making eye contact with me right before his lips touched hers. I lost it at that point and as the tears streamed down my face, I fled to the bathroom.
Angela came and dragged me out about ten minutes later saying that the guys had left and that Jessica and Lauren had gone on to bed. She asked if I wanted to talk about it, but I was too embarrassed. I knew how obvious it was to everyone why I broke down. Jessica confirmed it that next morning with her half ass attempt at an apology. She tried to assure me that she just assumed that as long as Edward and I had been friends, if I had been interested in him like that then I would have already made my move. WTF?! We we're fifteen for Christ's sakes! Of course she also couldn't help throwing in the fact that if he had felt the same way, he wouldn't have gone through with kissing her and that I was better off knowing how he truly felt about me. Whatever bitch!
It was times like these that I was glad that Renee and I have the relationship that we do. I can tell her anything. So after Charlie left that day to go fishing, I spilled everything to her. She said that she could understand why I got so upset, but that I really shouldn't worry so much about one little kiss. But see that's the thing, it wasn't just "one little kiss". It was his first kiss and I felt that Jessica had stolen that from me. Edward and I had shared all of our "firsts" together and I guess I always assumed I would get his first kiss as well.
I blame Renee and Esme for a lot of this. They had told us since birth that we were made for each other and how they just knew that we would grow up, get married and have a family of our own someday. Being the stupid little girl that I was, I believed it. However, Edward made me soon realize that we had completely different ideas regarding our own happily ever afters.
Edward tried several times to talk to me about that night, but I always blew him off with my indifference. I even encouraged him to ask Jessica out. I mean, I loved Edward and wanted to see him happy and if she was what he wanted, then I couldn't get in the way of that. I decided that I would rather have Edward as a friend than nothing at all so I locked away my feelings for him because I knew if he ever discovered how I truly felt, then our friendship would be over.
After that, Jessica became a regular fixture at our house on the weekends. I wasn't stupid. I knew she was only there to see Edward. I spent many nights watching them make out on my couch. Edward never seemed truly comfortable about it, but didn't push her away either. I only allowed it because I missed him. We never had Edward and Bella time anymore. In school Jessica was always with him and then he would have practice for whatever sport he was currently playing after school, so that only left the weekends. We would only ever spend time alone on Sundays if he decided to hang out for awhile after Jessica would leave to go home. I think she knew this because she kept pushing her departure time out later and later until it got to the point where it would be dinner time before she would actually leave.
I eventually got fed up and started making excuses to Jessica of why she couldn't come over every weekend. I even got desperate enough to start tagging along with Charlie when he would go to visit his old friend Billy Black in La Push. They would usually go fishing while I would stay and hang out with Billy's son Jacob. Jacob was the same age as me and even though I'd known him practically my whole life, we never saw each other enough to be considered friends. He went to school on the reservation while I went to school in Forks, so other than occasionally through our fathers, our paths never crossed.
Over time, Jacob and I became close friends. I started inviting him over to hang out on the weekends I was stuck with Jessica. He and Edward didn't really hit it off, but I didn't care. Jacob was my distraction from his make out sessions with Jessica.
Things really started to go downhill with Edward after that. He started having an attitude with everyone it seemed. Even his PDA's with Jessica had dwindled down to almost nothing. I would catch him staring at me sometimes with such a fierce look in his eyes that I couldn't comprehend. I tried to talk to him about it, but to no avail.
Jessica talked my parents into letting us have a party the weekend after school let out for the summer. She even convinced them to spend the evening at the Cullen's. I think the entire school showed up. I had also invited Jacob and his friends from La Push so I ended up with a full house. Being that it was an "unsupervised" party, alcohol inevitably became involved.
Jessica, having the entire male population of Forks High in one room, quickly forgot about Edward. I of course took full advantage. It had been months since just the two of hung out and I had really missed him. Our conversation was a little tense at first, but it didn't take long for us to fall back into our comfort zone.
After my fourth drink, I realized my mistake. I didn't have much experience with alcohol, but I was quickly learning that ALCOHOL + BELLA=AN UNINHIBITED BELLA. Every thought or feeling I had towards Edward come bubbling to the surface threatening to spill forth. I wanted him and I wanted him to know it, consequences be damned.
Edward immediately noticed the change in my demeanor and asked what was wrong. So I said fuck it, and told him everything.
FLASHBACK
"Bella, what is it?"
"Why are you with Jessica? I mean, look at her. She's basically dry humped every guy she's danced with tonight without even acknowledging you once? What is it that you see in her Edward?"
"Bella, I don't understand. You're the one who pushed me to go out with her."
"Yes, because I knew that's what you wanted. I just want to know why her. You deserve so much more than that."
"What made you think that Jessica was what I wanted?"
"You kissed her Edward. And not just any kiss, you gave her your first kiss."
He just stands there with a look of total confusion mumbling something under his breath before a look of realization dawns on his face.
"Bella, why did you run off crying that night we played spin the bottle?"
I took a deep breath and lowered my gaze from his piercing eyes. There was no backing out now.
"Because I wanted to be your first kiss. I love you Edward. And not just as friends. I want to be with you. I know you obviously don't feel the same way about me and if you don't want to be friends anymore I'll understand."
Silence.
I chance a glance at his face and he looks like I've just slapped him. I feel the tears well up in my eyes and start to walk away when he finally speaks up.
"Why didn't you tell me this before Bella?"
Feeling utterly defeated, I shrug my shoulders and ask what difference it would have made.
"It would have made all the difference. I would have given my first kiss to the person it belonged to. I would have said that I love you too, Bella."
My eyes snapped up and locked onto his. Surely I must have heard him wrong. But as I stared into those beautiful green orbs, I saw without a doubt that he meant every word he said. My breath caught as I realized he was leaning in to kiss me. Just as he cupped my face, Jessica's radar must have gone off because she began yelling for Edward to come and dance with her.
He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. "We need to do this right Bella. Give me ten minutes to tell Jessica I'm done with her and then I'm all yours."
"Okay."
As he turns to walk away, he stops and asks, "What about Jacob?"
This confuses me. "What about Jacob?"
"I though that you and he were…" he trails off.
"No Edward. Jake and I are just friends. My first kiss still belongs to you."
The smile he gives me is blinding. When he walks away, I do my best not to squeal and do a happy dance. I look around and spot Jacob. I have to tell someone before I explode.
Besides Renee, Jacob was the only other person I told about my feelings for Edward. I only admitted them to him because he had asked me out when we first started hanging out. It just made it easier to turn him down. Now don't get me wrong, Jacob is a hottie and if it weren't for these feelings I have for Edward, I would have most definitely jumped at the chance to go out with him. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of letting Jake know this too, hence the reason he hates Edward. And I guess now that I know what Edward thought of me and Jake, I understand his animosity a little better too.
"What's got you so happy?" Jake asks as I approach him grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
So I spill it all to him. He, of course, isn't thrilled to hear my new, but being the good friend that he is, I can tell that he's glad to see me so happy.
I glance up at the clock after awhile and realize that it's been almost an hour since I've seen Edward. What the hell? I tell Jake that I'll catch up with him later and go to see if I can find him. Emmett and Jasper told me that the last time they saw him, he was heading upstairs with Jessica in tow. At first this pisses me off, but then I realize that he's breaking up with her and knowing Edward, I know that's not something he would do to anybody right in the middle of a bunch of people.
After another fifteen minutes, curiosity wins out and I head up the stairs. When I get to the top of the steps, I freeze. It's dark, but not dark enough to where I can't see that Edward has Jessica pinned up against the wall with his body in a heated kiss. I turn to run back downstairs and of course stumble on the first step alerting them to my presence. I hear Edward yell my name and tell me to wait but I don't stop. When I reach the bottom I do the first thing that comes to mind. I literally run and jump into Jacob's arms, wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him with everything I have. I hear a lot of whistles and cat calls, but nothing as loud as Edward screaming, "What the fuck Bella?!"
After I hear the front door slam shut, I know he's gone. I pull away from Jacob and then I break. It wasn't just tears this time. I completely broke. Between the shaking and the sobbing I couldn't even stand on my own. Jacob carried me up to my room and then went to tell everybody the party was over.
I felt sick and humiliated. I can't believe I told him how I felt about him and then actually believed he returned those feelings enough to dump Jessica and be with me. I'm such an idiot. I'm sure they had a good laugh at my expense. And as if that weren't bad enough, I used Jacob that way knowing how he feels about me.
When he came back to my room after everyone left, I tried to explain what happened and apologize, but he kept telling me not to worry about it. I could tell I hurt him though. I really don't deserve his friendship.
END FLASHBACK
The first few weeks following the party were bad. Thank God I didn't have school to deal with too. Even with Edward living next door, I didn't see him not once. I could tell Renee and Esme knew something was going on, but they didn't say anything. Renee knew that I would tell her when I was ready and Esme would get the details from her.
After the third week, Jessica decided to call wanting to "hang out". I knew with school being out she probably only got to talk to Edward on the phone. Knowing that she was just using me to see Edward, I should have told her to fuck off. But I couldn't find it in myself to care anymore. I wanted to blame her too for what Edward did, but I couldn't do that either. That was all him.
I allowed her to start staying over again on the weekends with the condition that if she wanted to see Edward, she would have to go to his house, which she readily agreed to. It actually wasn't that bad. With me not speaking to Edward and Jacob only barely speaking to me, it was nice to have someone to hang out with even if it was Jessica. And at least I didn't have to witness anymore of her and Edward's make out sessions, although I did have to hear about them.
Everything was going good with that arrangement up until the weekend of Edward's birthday. Renee told me a few days before not to make plans with Jessica that weekend because we were "all" going out to dinner with the Cullens to celebrate Edward's 16th birthday. I could tell by the emphasis on the word all that there was no way I was getting out of going.
When I told Jess she was of course disappointed, but whatever. I didn't hear from her again until that Saturday morning. She called practically begging me to talk Renee into letting her come over. She said that there was no other way for her to give Edward his gift and that Edward had even agreed to help talk to Renee if need be. This piqued my curiosity. What was she giving him that Edward wanted so badly? When I asked her, she replied with a simple, "what else, sex."
I was done with her at that point and told her so. I was tired of being used. I may have been a contributing party to her getting his first kiss, but I be damned if I would help her get that first! I told her exactly what I thought of her after that and advised her to stay the hell away from me from now on.
I decided then that I needed to let Edward go. Regardless of what he said to me, he still wanted her. I was done being miserable
FLASHBACK
As I walked out of the house with my parents to go to the restaurant where we were meeting the Cullens, I noticed Edward leaving against the driver's side door of a shiny new silver Volvo with a menacing scowl on his face directed solely at me. Hmm… I guess he must have talked to Jess.
I hadn't noticed Carlisle and Esme standing there until she called my name and told me that they thought that I would want to ride with Edward in his new car since Charlie and Renee were riding with them. I vehemently protested, but Renee quickly brushed me off saying that there wasn't enough room for me to ride with them in Carlisle's Mercedes. Bullshit! This was obviously a set up being that all four parents immediately got in the car and took off like a bat out of hell!
I turned back to staring at Edward trying to match him scowl for scowl. I wondered how much trouble I would be in if I just refused to go with him.
"Stop being such a bitch Swan and get in the fucking car!" Edward hissed at me breaking me from my thoughts.
I couldn't do this. Edward has never spoke to me so coldly before. I felt the tears forming, but I refused to let him see them fall.
His eyes seemed to soften a bit seeing my reaction. He shook his head and looked down at his feet before quietly saying, "Look, let's just go and get this over with. Okay?"
I took a deep breath, gave myself a silent pep talk and walked to the passenger side door and got in. Edward stood outside the car another minute before joining me.
"Nice birthday present," I said as we finally took off.
"Yep."
I was fighting with myself to keep this civil, I really was. But I lost the battle as I spat my next words at him.
"I guess I should apologize for thwarting the plans on your other gift."
He snapped his head in my direction shocked. What, did he think I didn't know? As he quickly recovered himself, an evil smirk appeared on his face and I knew whatever came next was going to hurt. A lot.
"You didn't thwart those plans Swan. I plan on picking her up as soon as I get rid of you." He winked at me then added, "We're going to officially break in the Volvo."
"You are such a bastard!"
"What did you expect? I gave her my first kiss and she's going to get my first fuck too."
I felt like I had been punched in the chest. I couldn't breath. I couldn't do anything but stare into his flat green eyes in disbelief as he sat there still smirking and watching me come undone at his hand.
"Please take me back?" I begged. I was begging to go back to more than just my house. I was begging to go back to the way we were before, and he seemed to know this.
"Nope. You're going to be stuck in this nightmare right along with me Swan."
He couldn't even say my name anymore. Just let him go, I reminded myself.
"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your whore! After this, I want you out of my life for good! I don't even know who you are anymore Edward Cullen! But I do know that I'm done with this! I'm done with you!"
A look of hurt flashed in his eyes, but he was quick to hide it.
"Well in case you haven't noticed Bella Swan, I removed you from my life a month ago."
END FLASHBACK
And just like that, our friendship was over. I'm not going to say we never spoke again. We've traded many an insult back and forth over the years.
The only good thing to come out of that summer was my friendship with Rosalie.
Carlisle had started a summer volunteer program for teens at the hospital. Telling me that it would look good on my college apps, my parents forced me into it. I knew Carlisle and Esme probably did the same to Edward. I just hoped that I wouldn't have to deal with Jessica as well.
There only ended up being six of us. Myself, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie Hale, and Angela Webber. Being Angela was the daughter of Reverend Webber, it was a given that she would be involved.
After watching Edward shamelessly flirt with Rosalie on a daily basis, I gave into temptation and asked Angela what happened with him and Jessica. She rolled her eyes at me and said that they are constantly on again, off again. She said that they will be fine one week and then the next they're broken up. Apparently our little Edward turned into quite the manwhore. Angela told me that he'd been hooking up with Lauren Mallory and had even asked her out, but she told him no.
I kept my distance from Rosalie at first. I knew her from school, but had never really spoken to her. She always seemed so unapproachable. And I definitely didn't want to have anything to do with anyone that was involved with Edward.
But eventually, Edward pushed his advances too far and Rosalie went ballistic on him. It was epic. I was even scared for him. Rosalie Hale became my idol after that. For whatever reason, she hated Edward almost as much as me. We became inseparable.
Right before school started back up Rose started dating Emmett. Now I love Emmett as much as the next person, it's hard not to, but Rosalie and Emmett are as difference as night and day. Rose is the beautiful blond goddess type with an "I don't give a fuck" attitude while Em is more of a big, lovable, easy going type of guy who always has a smile on his face. But they just seemed to fit together and are still going strong today.
Alice moved here halfway through sophomore year. And as I said before, she is a very eccentric type of person. It shows from the way she acts to the clothes she wears. She caught quite a lot of hell at first from the bitch brigade (AKA Jessica and Lauren) and their followers. I, of course, was drawn to her immediately and believe it or not, it didn't take her long to worm her way into Rose's heart as well.
She also caught Jasper's eye almost immediately. They, like Rose and Em, are completely different. Alice is a spiky haired, vibrant little pixie while Jasper is the quiet, laid back southern gentleman. But it was easy to see that they were made for each other.
And so, that is how our little "group" was formed. It unfortunately included Edward Cullen though. But I guess with him being best friends with Emmett and Jasper and me being best friends with Rosalie and Alice, it was inevitable that we would have to spend time together. It wasn't so bad before Alice came along because we always had Jasper as a buffer when we would all hang out. But now that his attention was focused elsewhere, particularly on Alice Brandon, I couldn't help but worry.
I guess I worried for nothing though because most of the time when we would go out as a group, he wouldn't be there. He was usually out with whatever flavor of the week he chose. By the end of senior year he had worked his way through almost all of the female population at Forks High. Twice. It makes me sick to think about what he's turned himself into.
During the times he did choose to go out with us, he was always a complete and utter ass and hardly ever sober. I don't see how Em and Jazz still put up with him. Those nights were always the same for me and Edward. Either we completely ignored each other, or we argued and slung insults at one another. The other four just learned to ignore us.
It's still hard for me to be around him even though it's been three years. I can't help but still feel drawn to him and if I'm being honest, a part of me still loves him. Most of the time when I see him anymore, he has a flat, dead look in his eyes. But occasionally, I will catch him staring at me with such a fierce look that I can't help but wonder what he might be thinking. If he might actually miss me even a tenth as much as I miss him.
"Bella, where did you go?" Alice asks softly. "You look like you were a million miles away."
"I was just thinking. You know I'm really going to miss you guys."
"Alright, there will no tears shed tonight. Alice and I worked hard on your hair and make up and you're not going to fuck it up before we even leave the house. So go get into that outfit. Emmett and the guys will be over here in about ten minutes."
"I love you Rose."
"I know you do. Now hurry your ass up!"
When I come out of the bathroom, Rosalie and Alice aren't in my room. But Edward is setting there on my bed. I'm frozen in shock. He apparently is too from the sight of my outfit.
"What do you want Edward?"
He snaps his head up to my face and actually has the decency to look embarrassed about being caught ogling my body. The decency doesn't last long however when he opens his mouth to speak.
"Leather? Should I call you Mistress Swan now?"
"Fuck you Cullen! Just tell me what the hell you're doing in my room?"
He takes a deep breath and looks down at his lap. "I want to call a truce with you."
Before I can tell him where to shove his truce, he puts a hand up stopping me.
"Just hear me out. This is the last night we're going to be together with our friends like this. Sure, we'll see them when we come home to visit or during the summer, but it will be different. We will be different people than who we are now. I don't know about you, but I want to enjoy tonight, and after the way we've acted the past few years, I think we owe it to them."
I look down and whisper, "Okay, truce." I want to cry. Not because of our friends, but because of the person that's currently sitting in my room. This is not Dickward. This is My Edward and I've missed him so much.
"I do have another reason I'm asking you to do this."
"What is it?"
"We're leaving Sunday and moving completely across the country Bella. Regardless whether or not we want to admit this, we are going to be there alone with no friends or family. I just don't want you to feel like you can't come to me if something happens or if you need anything. I think it's time we leave our past where it needs to be, in the past. I'm not saying that we should go back to being best friends, because honestly, I don't think that's a possibility. But I do think we need to put all of this childish bullshit behind us so that we can move on."
I honestly don't know what to make of all that. I take a minute to try and process it, but I keep hearing the part about him wanting to move on echoing in my head. Of course he wants to move on Bella, it's been three years! It hurts to admit, but I guess he's right. I can't keep a few tears from straying this time and I'm afraid my voice won't be strong enough to speak, so I stare at him and just nod in agreement.
"Thank you Bella. So are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
AN-Okay, so what do you think?
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