Author's Comments:

Yeah, I decided I am going to try and upload every Sunday. Unfortunately, I will not be here next this Sunday, so I am just going to submit this one right away. Sorry if it sucks :(

South Park is not mine and yadda yadda yadda.

"Lately I've been hard to reach…
I've been too long on my own…
Everybody has a private world,
Where they can be alone…
Are you calling me?
Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me?
I'm reaching out for you."

-Eminem, Beautiful

It was 12:57

Kyle looked around curiously. The party started two hours ago, and Kenny still hadn't arrived. This party was for him, so where the hell was he? Really, Kyle would've loved to drown all his troubles in alcohol right when the party started, but he refused to drink until the blonde got there. Come to think of it, Tweek and Craig hadn't shown up yet, either.

"Kyle..!"

The day-walker arched his head behind himself, searching for the voice that had called his name. It was Stan, fumbling throughout the crowd of people, making his way to him. He wasn't drunk, just a bit tipsy.

"Dude, Token is wasted, he's giving away his money!" he grinned. "You gotta come upstairs!"

Kyle's eyes widened. Token didn't seem like the type to get hammered at parties. Yet, he glanced behind Stan's shoulder only to see the rich boy throwing his funds in the air, people grabbing mercilessly at the greenish-yellow paper like they were everything.

Kyle grimaced. Money, something that could buy anything at anytime. Sure, it was nice, but sure as hell couldn't buy happiness. It brought his mind back to Kenny; how the poverty-stricken blonde could always find means of entertainment and joy without it. Him thinking of Kenny just kept reminding him how Kenny wasn't there, at his party.

"Save some for me, I guess," he spoke, grabbing his jacket off the coat hanger. "I'm gonna go look for Kenny."

"Kenny's not here yet?" Stan questioned, a dumbfounded look on his face. "Okay, I'll go with you."

"No dude, it's alright." The red-head smiled, grabbing a water bottle off the snack table and handing it to him. "You need to sober up; you know your body can't handle too much alcohol."

Stan shrugged, taking the bottle from his friend. He gave a warm smile and thanks of appreciation and walked off, leaving Kyle in the doorway. He sighed, brushing some loose strands of hairs from his face and walked out in search for his black Subaru.

As he passed Token's front yard fountain, he stopped. He looked at its beautiful features, and thought. Just thought. He didn't know what made him think so hard, or what made him stop in the first place, what with the muffled, blaring music from the mansion, it all just seemed to melt away. But what he thought most about he didn't want to believe. Dare say he had forbidden himself to believe.

He was falling for Stan Marsh.

He groaned to himself and clutched the ears of his hat in annoyance. This was pathetic, so cliché. The best friend falling for the jock; it made Kyle want to puke. He hated all that fantasy romance shit, he really did. But he just couldn't stop thinking about it. Stan and Kyle. Kyle and Stan. He loved the way they sounded together, girly as it seemed.

He felt he knew this already, though he forced himself to push it aside whenever the raven brushed their hands together. Besides, he was with Wendy, which meant he was straight. Kyle for one was bi-curious—but didn't want to be. Boys couldn't fall for other boys…could they?

'Don't think about it right now,' he told himself, ignoring the fact he was a lovesick mess. 'Remember: Kenny.'

But before he left, he took a single penny from his pocket, and glanced once more at the fountain.

"I'm such a pussy…" he sighed, and threw the coin into the water.

He pulled into Kenny's driveway soon after, for it was a short drive. He hadn't been here in so long. While Kenny was gone, it was almost too heartbreaking to look at, the thought on him never coming back—it was awful. The lights were off and there were no other cars. Kyle almost re-thought this whole thing, but decided against it. He jerked open his car door and shut it quietly. He took a quick glance at the time on his phone.

1:30.

Kyle shook his head. The party would be ending soon.

He walked up to the disheveled door, stained with dirt and what looked like cat urine. He shivered at the untidy display. Kenny sure lived in a sickening atmosphere; Kyle almost didn't want to touch the door. Luckily, he didn't have to, for Kenny opened it before him.

"Kyle?" he questioned, studying the boy over curiously. "What are you doing here?"

Kyle stiffened, obviously more surprised than the blonde. Kenny's eyes were pink and swollen, almost as if he'd been crying. He ignored it though. He straightened his jacket and cleared his throat. "Wh-what am I doing here? How come you're not at your party?"

"Oh…" Kenny sighed. "That…"

"Yeah, that." Said the day-walker, crossing his arms over his chest in a pouting way. "Everyone's waiting for you!"

"Yeah, I'm not going…"

"What?"

"I'm not going," repeated the blonde, walking back into his house. Kyle followed, scoffing.

"So we all throw you a party and you decide not to show up? Are you some kind of arrogant bastard or what?"

Kenny sighed. "Kyle, if you knew why I couldn't go, you'd understand. Granted, you'd kill me, but you'd still understand."

"Then tell me why!"

"I…can't."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "You can't or you won't?"

"Please," the other boy said, sitting down on his couch and burying his face in his wrists. "I just…can't."

Kyle heaved a heavy sigh and sat down next to the deprived teen.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah…I know."

Kyle wanted to know. Bad. He tried to squeeze his way through to him.

"You don't have to tell me, I'm just saying you can when you're ready..."

"I'm not going to tell you dude, you can stop trying to guilt me into it!"

His voice was louder now, more aggressive. Kyle immediately quieted down, knowing there was no use arguing about it. He gently placed an arm on the veteran's back, making him flinch. After he calmed down, he rubbed his back slowly and silently, noticing tears in the other boy's eyes. He frowned. Seeing Kenny cry was like watching a helpless kitten. He wanted to help him, he really did, but if Kenny didn't want to tell him, he'd just have to deal with it. He sighed and got up.

"Okay, well, I'm going to leave now…"

"Wait—"

Kenny grabbed the red-head's forearm tightly, making him sit back down on the sofa. He wanted to object, but knew Kenny needed him right now, whatever it was that he did.

"What if…" he began. "…What if you did something so terrible, that you couldn't tell anyone? Not even your best friend…?"

Kyle shifted uneasily. He was Kenny's best friend? It was touching; he felt bad for calling him an arrogant bastard. Though, he wished he hadn't asked what was wrong, because whatever this was, he really did not want to get into it. But he was already too far in to pull out, so he had to say something.

He opened his lips to speak, but silently shut them as the blonde went on.

"What if you did something so disgraceful that no one could find out….ever? It would ruin everything you once stood for, and everything you were once grateful for…"

Wow, Kyle had never heard Kenny talk in such a manner. This was quite formal for his vocabulary, he had to admit. But he just wished he knew what Kenny was talking about; it would make everything so much easier.

"Well…" the Jew spoke silently. He meant to go on, but he honestly could say that he'd never been in the same situation. Kenny heard the tension in his voice and shook his head. "Never mind," he concluded. "You can go."

Kyle fumbled with the loose strings of thread on the pillow next to him. At first getting out of that house was his first priority, but now the last thing he wanted to do was leave. He couldn't leave his friend like this, it was a sin.

He scooted a few inches closer to the troubled teen and wrapped his arms around him gently. Kenny didn't flinch this time, but returned the embrace as quickly as it came, for he desperately needed it at the moment. He turned his body so the hug wasn't so awkward, and buried his face into the shorter boy's neck. Kyle shivered as the hot tears ran down his neckline, leaving a wet path behind them. He once again rubbed the blonde's back comfortingly, seeming to make him ease his shoulders a bit.

The hug was eventually released, and the two boys stared at each other for a moment. Kyle stared into Kenny's eyes, glossed with tears. Perhaps he was different. Kenny wasn't usually one to cry so easily, so he must had done something really bad. Not to mention he bags under his eyes, as Tweek had stated earlier. Fuck, his whole face looked messed up.

His eyes were paler. They used to be such a beautiful crystal-clear pools; now, they were shrouded with unholy grayness and clouds.

And there were scars. Scars that he hadn't noticed when they first reunited. Of course, most were healed over time, but some looked newer, fresher. Must too fresh to have happened while in Iraq.

Wait, those weren't scars…

"Is that blood…on your face?"

This question totally caught Kenny off guard, almost making him fall off his couch. Kyle's face twisted in confusion. It was just a question. He would've believed Kenny was out killing squirrels or something, really.

"I-it's…what? N-no, there's no blood on my face..." he answered, chuckling nervously to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal. He spat on his orange sweatshirt sleeve and rubbed his cheeks with it thoroughly, or wherever the blood was.

To his obliviousness, doing so caused his sleeve to slip down his arm a bit, exposing many gruesome, obviously infected cuts. Once spotted, Kyle immediately stood up, now uncomfortable in the ambiance of the McCormick household. He pointed at the taller one's wrist and forearm, shaking nervously. He was scared, He had no idea why, but he was.

"Y-y-your wr-wrist…"

Kenny glanced up at him curiously, but then saw where he was getting at, giving out a hardy "God dammit…!", covering the slits back up as best as he could.

Those definitely were not battle wounds. They couldn't be. Those were from Kenny himself—those were self-harm cuts.

Kyle's fright took the best of him. He was quivering ferociously now, face flushing from all color it once had. The blonde tried to calm him, trying to tell him it wasn't a big deal.

"Not a big deal…!" he shouted, though he knew he should have been sensitive about the situation, but he just couldn't. "You're fucking cutting yourself! Why the hell didn't you tell me!"

"That's why!"Kenny defended, standing up angrily. "You don't fucking understand, I knew you wouldn't!"

"You're right, I don't understand! Now, why didn't you really tell me!"

"It's not like I can fucking call from Iraq, dick hole!" he shouted, clenching his fists. "Besides, when is my personal life suddenly your business?"

"Because you're my friend, dude! I care about you!"

"Really? Then it wouldn't kill you to give two shits about me when I died?"

"What the hell are you talking about...?"
"Ugh, forget it!" the veteran barked, lashing an arm out only to knock over and break a nearby lamp.

Kyle stood down, taking a defending step backwards. He shot a cold, misty stare at him before shaking his head and running out of the house in tears. Kenny stood there alone, just like before. Alone. Again.

He wiped off the excess blood from his face and made his way to the backyard, where an unusually deep hole took place. He peered down inside it, looking at the bloodied remains of his parents, Carol and Stuart McCormick. He glowered at them coldly. Disgusting alcoholics, it made him sick. He took the tub of kerosene sitting nearby and poured it in the hole, not wasting a single drop. He sighed and took a single match from his pocket and lighting it.

"See you in hell, you drunken bastards."

And with that, he threw the death stick into the pit, creating a blazing and scorching mass of flames—all the signs of a perfect murder.

AHHH! Murder Kenny! :L Ahaha, sorry. I just always loved the idea of Kenny being some sexy badass murderer ;) Whatever. There will be a lot more of that once they to Kenny's "uncle's" :0 R&R please!