WOW. Thank you for giving more reviews than i asked for! You guys are SO awesome for giving me a chance! )
I tried to make this chapter just as amusing.

Lol some of the stuff put me off my lunch!
What? I hear you cry... Hehehh, read on and you'll find out!

For this chapter I want.. Dare i say it... 15 reviews!

That is if you want the next chapter to be posted :D

Disclaimer: I own only the plot bro. No need for no suin' or nethin'.

Draco Malfoy was red in the face as he raced to the Hogwarts Bathrooms. How dare they? As if it hadn't been bad enough already, Granger decided to levitate him all the way to Hogwarts, and set him down in front of the entire student body. The appalled expression on Professor Snape's face had been enough to have Draco bolting in the opposite direction. He pushed open the door and walked cautiously to the mirrors. He shrieked when he saw his reflection. "Parkinson, you bitch!" He shouted hysterically. Taking a closer look at his green blusher, he hated her even more, "You could of at least given me a more natural look." He didn't even have his wand, so he'd have to clean his face manually.

Draco scrubbed his cheeks furiously, he pulled of the false lashes and yelped as felt his natural lashes rip away with the false ones. The mascara ran down his face, he seemed to look even worse than before. He hated those bitches. And he vowed to get them back, just as soon as he got out of the embarrassing dress-

"Need some help, Malfoy?" Draco jumped, startled to the bone.

Hermione Granger chuckled, "Don't worry Mally, I won't hurt you." She was stood in the doorway. Draco narrowed his eyes and his mouth tightened with disgust, "I want my wand, Mudblood." She laughed, "I don't have it. Parkinson does." He stood up angrily and just before the insults rolled of his tongue, she said, "Just because your wearing a dress doesn't mean that you get to use the girl's bathroom." Draco refused to believe her, she was just trying embarrass him further. "You think I'm lying?" She walked over to him, and whispered, "Where are the urinals?" in his ear. Draco looked around, trying to act casual, but inside he wished desperately to find one, but he was a fool to wish. His eyes widened and he whimpered as he turned to rush out but she grabbed his arm and led him to a cubicle. She put the lid down and made him sit on the seat. She removed her wand from her left boot the way she had before. Draco let his shoulder's slump in defeat as she muttered a few charms whilst moving the wand around in circles atop his head. She stepped back to examine her handiwork, "Nothing i can do about the dress though, Mally."

"Stop with the Mally shit!" Draco shouted into her chest. She snickered, "As long as you're wearing a dress, you're Mally to me."

Draco spluttered in response as she strutted out, ignoring him completely. Draco checked his reflection out, his face was normal.. Thank the Lord! Then he looked down at his dress. Tugging at it, he panicked as it got stuck around his shoulders, but he pulled until he heard it tear and threw it on the floor as quickly as he could. Now he was standing in the girl's bathroom... in nothing but, yes, his boxers and socks, but he was glad that he wasn't in the dress, "Shit. That's one thing i never thought i would think.."

Once outside, Draco looked at the door and sure enough it had the girl's bathroom witch hat sign on it. He cursed, whilst smacking his forehead, grumbling he tip-toed past the Great Hall entrance, in his head he begged Dumbledore to give the longest speech EVER. As soon as he passed the large doors, a half naked Draco Malfoy ran like a lunatic all the way to the Slytherin Dungeons and was elated to find his trunk already on the four-poster bed. Once back in clothes that didn't give mixed signals concerning his sexual orientation, Draco Malfoy vowed to get both bitches that had been responsible for his humiliation, back. He vowed he would make them feel one hundred times worse than he had.

.o.

Harry groaned as food finally appeared magically in the golden plates, "I'm sure that was the lo-ongest speech Dumbledore has EVER given." The others nodded wryly. Everybody was a little bit deflated after sitting on the hard benches for two hours. "I'm sure that it'll make it into Hogwarts: A History, Hermione." Harry said, nudging her whist waggling his monobrow. Hermione ignored him completely and he went back to forking his pork chop. "I don't know about you lot," Ron said, his face contorted painfully, "But my arse hurts." Harry spluttered as the butterbeer caught in his throat and Hermione and Ginny looked disgusted as they set down their utensils, deciding they could not eat with the image of Ron's sore red arse in their heads. Ron merely lifted himself so he hovered over the bench and rubbed his bum gently, almost as though he was nursing it.

"Urgh!" Cries of protest broke out around Ron, as he used the same hand to pick up a roasted chicken leg. Most of the students jumped up, utterly repulsed and headed for the Horwarts grounds.

"What's this I've been hearing about Lisa snogging Crabbe?" Ginny asked Hermione as they plonked themselves onto the freshly cut grass. Hermione inspected her nails, a bored expression on her face, "What about it? Lisa kissed Crabbe, Crabbe enjoyed it..." When Ginny's expression was as confused as before, Hermione smiled apologetically, "It was a dare."

Ginny's eyebrows twiched, "A dare?" Hermione reached into her bag and pulled out the notorious plastic bottle. Students began to gather around them.

"Yes." She whispered mischievously, "A dare."

.o.

Severus Snape sat at the desk in his study, trying to mark the work he was supposed to have marked over the summer. He gazed at the ceiling as he flipped papers and scrawled the letter F on them without even a glance. After a minute or so, he felt for paper but there was no more. "All done!" He sang, grinning. Severus was a little dazzled as he spotted the F on his table, he chuckled quietly. He could say that without a doubt this summer had been the best he'd ever had, long hot days of lying on the beach butt-naked. His tan as one the females craved for. Not too orange, yet not pink either. Snape pulled his robes up to inspect the colour of his belly, he was delighted to find it just as beautiful as before. He was sure that it was this tan that was responsible for getting him so much action-

The tapping on the door interupted his thoughts. "Yes?" He growled angrily, whilst trying to yank the robe back down over his middle.

The door inched open and Blaise Zabini slinked in. "Hello... Professor." He murmured seductively, he ran one finger along his nether lip. Shutting the door behind him, Blaise smiled as he caught sight of his teacher's exposed front, "I needed some... help..." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the Potions Professor, watching as his teacher slid further back into his seat, a petrified expression on his way too orange face.

.o.

Okay I know it was short, but this chapter is a bridge to a whole load of funny!

15 reviews for Chapter 3 :D

Faerie x