Autthors note: Hey guys, long time no see, ready for jokes about obessive fangirls and glittertits? You bet your sparkling asses you are!
We are back, and we can just the hear the fan girls screaming now. We now present our next part in roasting the Twilight Saga

Enjoy my little fangbangers

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Voxy: I'd like to videotape Edward and Bellas wedding...it would be so awesome

Cordial Craig: Yea, it would beautiful, Edward losing his v-card and sh*t.

Major dover: Bet you anything he cries after he has THE SEX with Bella

Voxy: Ha, yea he's like "Oh Bella, oh Bella, my Bella, i'm so happy this day has come, we must claim our love to the world!"

Major dover: She's just like "tits or GTFO Edward."

cordial Craig: Haha yea "But this is a special night, we get give each other our precious gifts..it will be beautiful"

Voxy: He lights candles and goes all out for the night, puts on some f*cking Barry Mannilow and Micheal bolton

Major Dover: But Edward doesn't know emmett changed all his sexy CDs with Usher and Ludacris..

voxy: ahaaa, Edward starts to slowly take of his shirt, to reveal the sparkles underneath it...does a little strip tease for Bella who is just sitting there flipping over movie channel because Edward is taking forever with his clothes

Major Dover: I can tell she would be thinking "Godflabbit Edward stop being a girl and just take the damn pants off, this isnt a TLC movie"

cordial Craig: "Bella darling, come to bed so we can stare at each others beautiful naked bodies"

Major dover: He would just wind up staring at his own, enchanted by is own beauty, like "Oh lord, look at how my skin sparkles, I am a wonderful creature!"

voxy: After like 4 ours of being a cocktease, he finally manages to get started, haha he probably sings in her ear

Major dover: "Oh Bella, you are my lovvveeeeee, myyy looovvveee,,,, MYYYY LOOVVVEEEEE" starts screaming in her ear "MY LOOVVEEEEE!"

Voxy: Bella has to push his face away like "Dude, chill the f*ck out and just get top of me"

cordial Craig: Yea, he finally gets his discostick in motion, after he has sexy time, he thinks he did so well, like "Oh Bella that was beautiful, so lovely, now I must go cry for three hours"

Voxy: Bella just lays there like "What the hell...was that it?"

Major dover: She hears Owl city coming from the bathroom and Edwards sobs mixing with it. "I".HAPPY SOOOOOO HAPPPYYY!"
voxy: He manages to come out all teary eyed and happy, gets on the bed and cuddles with Bella, snifing her hair and sighing '

Major Dover: "Bella my sweet, now we belong to each other for ever and ever and ever and ever...""

Voxy: He then goes to the nearest window and just screams "I JUST HAD SEX WITh BELLA AND IT WAS GREAT!"

cordial dover: Ha, Bella is thinking "Oh sh*t"

Voxy: "And ever and ever and ever"

cordial Craig: And then BAM, Bellas eggo is preggo

Major Dover: Oh I wonder what was going through Edwards head? something like "A baby? no...no baby..no baby...NO BABY DAMMIT!"

voxy: Probably has Bella get every medical test known to man

Major Dover: "I've taken 34 pregancy tests Edward,they've all come out postive, dammit I'm preganant!"

Voxy: Edward is like "Just pee on the stick one time...just to be sure!"

cordial Craig: So does that mean Bella can be on Teen Mom: I got Pregnant By a Vampire?

Voxy: It would be a great show, Edward carting around the bloodsucker singing show tunes, the baby trying to rip out Bellas throat

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sorry it was so short, but we are all college kids now, so not alot of time to bash Twilight. :)

Look forward to our next part coming soon

Cherrio my lovely little vampires