We are back, fuck yea! Yes, we have more bashing of Twilight, you didn't think we were done did you? Nooooo, since the Breaking shit...er...Dawn movie is going to be gracing the theaters, we thought we would take some time and bash the living fucking sparkles out of it! LULZ!

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Major Dover: Well. Fuck. Breaking Shit is coming to a theater near you.

Voxy: I'll be sure to go to the midnight premiere dressed as Harry Potter, troll the fuck out of the movie.

Major Dover: If a fangirl yells at you just pull out your wand and shout "AVADA KEDARVA!"

Cordial Craig: The movie will be super intense with all the girls having orgasms as they watch Sparkletits marry Bella. Bahahaahahahaaaa, he finally gets to poke her with his disco stick.

Major Dover: It will be like having sex with a frozen sausage

Voxy: Oh, the birth scene will be full of LULZ, Bella looks like shit in the trailer, carrying that demon spawn.

Major Dover: Bella doesnt need to push that spawn out, it will just fucking come out when it damn well pleases

Voxy; That spawn rules Bella, it doenst give a shit if Bella needs to eat, it wants fucking blood

Cordial Craig: The spawn is the Chuck Norris of Twilight, it just does whatever the fuck it wants

Voxy: So Sam gets butthurt when he hears about Bella carrying the spawn?

Major Dover: Yea, he thinks it will threaten the pack lulz, a little demon spawn running around with its rattle pulling on the ears of the wolves

Voxy: I would just punt the little bastard over the hills. Is halfsparklepire it wouldn hurt it.

cordial Craig: and of course Pedowolf gets all goo goo eyes at the rancid little demon

VoXy:"OH MY GAWD, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A BABY I LUVVV YOU, WE BE TOGETHER FOREVER!"

Major Dover: Charlie is the cheif of police, how can he allow pedowolf to do the nasty with the spawn?

voxy: His sexy mustache and shit.

Cordial Craig: He drives around town and blares the siren, just to fuck around with the teenagers

Major Dover: He yells random stuff at people as he drives by like "better not fuck with this police office saarrrr"

Voxy: Baha, Bella texts him, 'Dad where are you? you're not out trying to hit on Jacob again are you?"

Major Dover: He just sits there looking at the text and thinks "God damn woman, you are the herpes of drunk texting, you never go away"

Cordial Craig: He spends at least an hour combing his mustache.

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So, voxy and I got a little shitfaced after our college class, so our drunk asses decided to role play Emmet and Edward. After proofreading what we wrote and editing (sober)we came up with this gem.

Oue english professor would be proud.

now sit the fuck down and enjoy.

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Voxy: Fuck it, lets roleplay this shit

Major Dover: I'll be Edward, "Bella my love we must write our own vows for the wedding, it will be so magical"

Voxy: "Cmon Edward, dont do this pansy ass shit, I just want to have sex with you"

Major Dover: "Bella, my love, your eyes sparkle like a thousand stars, your pALe skin is more luminous than the fair moon"

Voxy: "EDWARD CUT THAT SHIT OUT"

Major Dover: "YOU SHUT THAT FILTHY MOUTH OF YOURS EMMETT, ME AND BELLA ARE CONFESSING OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER!"

Voxy: "YOUR SUCH A COCKTEASE WARDO, YOU GIVE BELLA BLUE BALLS!"

Major Dover: "EMMETT YOU ARE JUST MAD BECAUSE YOU HAVENT TAKEN YOUR MEDICATED INTAKE OF STEROIDS TODAY!"

Voxy:"I WILL BITCH SLAP THE SPARKLES OUT OF YOU WARDO!"

Major Dover: Then Emmett comes at him like a bull and pins him to the ground

Voxy: "Emmet, YOU GODDAMN BEAR,get off me, you are ruining my perfectly messy hair!"

Major Dover: "YOU SPARKLE BITCH,I WILL END YOU"

Voxy: "EMMETT GET OFF!...MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!"

Major Dover: "HAHAHAH MOMMA CANT SAVE YOU NOW YOU MONKEYSUCK!"

Voxy: Bella is jus standing there, awkwardish,like "Uh...um...well fuck"

Major Dover: She just watches Emmett and Edward wrestle...and Emmett sits on Edwards face ands lets out a massive fart

Voxy: "EMMETT DEAR LORD...OH...OH...MY..WHAT THE...THE SMELL...IT BURNS...OH MY GOD!"

Major Dover: "BAHHAAHHAAH DID YOU SMELL THAT EDDIE?ITS THE BEAUTIFUL SMELL OF VICTORY!"

Voxy: Hahah, I can see Edward coming to emmett for sexual advice. Like, "I need to know how to please Bella"

Major Dover: Emmett just falls on the floor laughing while Edward stands there like fuck my life

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