I totally forgot to write this chapter. I decide to continue this story a year after starting it and I blatantly just forget to write the third chapter. As if I thought the story would just write itself. Oh my I am quite the forgetful franny aren't I? Thanks to those that enjoyed my twisted little story, I think it's about to get worse because we are about to actually read Bella's point of view. Be warned, she cusses a lot because I feel that is how her character would be in this situation. Yikes. Here's chapter three I guess… Oh and I mean no disrespect to the Moore Center, just using it for my story (:

Bella's POV

"Rosalie you have a phone call." The orderly poked her head around the door jamb, interrupting the conversation between my roommate and me, and left without another word. Rose rolled her eyes and, with much effort and assistance from the bed frame, stood up from the floor where we had been whispering. I watched her as she left, seeing the white of the walls through the space in between her thighs.

She was a starver like me. Although she did have three years more under her belt than I did. That bitch. Rosalie was the stereotypical anorexic; beautiful, popular, rich, only child, with parents who divorced when she was nine. Like too many others she starved as a way to 'deal with the pain' and get back at her parents for subjecting her to the horrors of swapping beds every other week. Way to go Rose, way to make those motherfuckers pay for not staying married.

She was my only friend in this hell but I still thought she was the stupidest whore I've ever met. At least she wasn't a cutter like half of the other whiny little bitches in this place. The Moore Center. Serving Bellevue, Seattle, and the entire Puget Sound Region since 1991. And laughing all the way to the bank too, no doubt. In the three weeks that I had been forced to stay here there has been no breakthrough whatsoever in my case. Rosalie has been here for three months and the doctors have no hope for her to be going home yet. Why don't they just admit failure and send us all home?

At least I got free drugs.

"Bella why don't you come watch tv with us?" I rolled my head off the side of the mattress to glare at the little slut at the door and tell her to fuck off but I stopped when I saw who it was, too angry before to even recognise the voice. It was Jane, the 15 year old girl who had passed out on the treadmill. The entire right side of her face had been ripped apart by the belt, leaving her otherwise beautiful face horribly disfigured with a nasty layer of puckered pink flesh. She lay on the floor with the treadmill still tearing her up for almost twenty minutes until someone else came into the gym where she was running and called an ambulance.

Other than Rosalie she was the only one I tolerated. "Sure Jane, let me put on my pants though." Rose and I had been squatting between our beds in nothing but oversized sweaters, comparing the size of our thighs. We didn't reach a decision but I knew mine were thinner. I stood up and almost pitched over from the dark spots clouding my vision and the floor spinning. I sat down on my bed and dug through my suitcase until I found a pair of comfortable, and warming, sweats.

Once I had mustered enough energy to lift my legs and shove them through the holes in my pants I stood up and immediately grabbed my temples, the world spinning again. Jane squeaked in concern but since she was here for the same reason as me she didn't say anything. She grabbed my hand and we slowly hobbled to the couches in the television room where the majority of the girls spent their days.

"Oh, my god Bella actually stopping scissoring with Rosalie long enough to join the rest of us." My head whipped to the right to stare at the bitch who dared say that. It turned out to be Lauren, the skank who thought she ran the place. Wake up bitch you're in the same place as the rest of us because you're no different than anyone.

"Fuck you, bitch, as least I don't fuck the orderlies for drugs or carve myself up like a goddamn Christmas turkey." Lauren was here because she got caught at school giving a guy head at school and that sent her parents over the edge; they knew about her puking and cutting, the school incident just gave them the incentive they needed to send her away.

She didn't reply. Jane giggled and collapsed onto an empty couch, pulling me down with her. I pulled two blankets from a stack on the side of the couch and wrapped both around my shoulders, on the brink of shivering so hard my teeth fell out. The doctors told me I didn't have the body fat to regulate a normal body temperature. They thought it would scare me, as if the thought of freezing to death would frighten me back to normality.

"What is this shit we're watching?" It was some pale bitch surrounded by midgets and smiling animals. It looked familiar, as if I had seen it many years ago but not cared enough to actually remember what I was watching. Someone mumbled Snow White and I snorted, how sad was I that I couldn't even remember the first Disney princess movie.

Rosalie came in a few minutes later and lifted the blankets off my shoulder and wrapped them around her own, snuggling next to me, fawning over how much she loved the movie. At least she recognised it. It wasn't long before I tuned the movie out, getting lost in my thoughts. As usual my mind took me back to the day that landed me in rehab for the second time…

I don't remember this happening, only what I had been told. I passed out from hunger and Edward busted down my door, revealing an unconscious me lying in a bony heap on my bedroom floor. Edward said he thought I was dead, he was crying as if I were when he told me this. He scooped me up in his big, strong arms and carried me oh so valiantly to his speedy little car where he sped off to the hospital, phoning his dad that we were on the way.

The whole time he was telling me this all I cared about was the sugar water they were pumping into my veins. I could just see my thighs ballooning back to grotesque ham hocks and my arms growing soft and jiggly, fat enough to fly away with. The whole time Edward spoke to me I was thinking about how long I would have to run and how many days without eating I would go in order to reverse the efforts of the hospital.

All I looked forward to was being released and continuing right where I left off before I had been overtaken by a momentary bout of weakness. I was never given that chance. As soon as Charlie heard I was in the hospital from not eating he told me I was going to the Moore Center. I didn't even get to pack my own bags; Edward has Alice go into my room and pack nearly every piece of clothing I owned, as if I would be staying there forever. Maybe I would.

While Alice was in my room she, of course, found my stash of emergency laxatives. When she brought my suitcase she had all three boxes in her hand with a look on her face that told me she wasn't even surprised to see that I had them. "Oh good," I said, feigning happiness, "I was worried I wouldn't have time to get them. Thank you for being so considerate dear." Then she threw the boxes of pills on the bed and ran out crying.

Edward had been sitting there watching the whole time and, typical of him, he had to say something. "Why are you so cruel? Do you not care about how much you're hurting everyone that loves you? Do you not think how much pain we're all in, knowing that you're killing yourself? Well? Do you?" tears were rolling down his face as he shook my shoulders, gently but still enough to rattle me.

"Nobody loves me." I mumbled, barely audible to my own ears. I could feel tears trying to creep out from my eyes but I bit down on my tongue to tell them they had no right. I hadn't cried ever since I began this and I wasn't about to let Edward ruin this for me. Part of what I did was being strong and I couldn't go around crying and ruining all I had achieved.

"What?" he asked, his voice was as sharp as the IV they stuck in my arm, stabbing me all over with its deadly spike, filling me with its poisonous words. "Answer me right now Bella. What did you just say? Tell me, tell me now!" I was covering my face, shaking my head, and trying to force the tears away. Edward tried to pull my hands from my face but I wouldn't budge, murmuring no no no until it became a mantra that kept in time with the rocking of my body.

"No… no… no… NO NO NO NO NO NO!" I grabbed handfuls of my hair and started tugging trying to cause enough physical pain to keep the tears that were waging war on me, clogging my throat and turning the faucets in my nose on full blast. Edward seemed to be mimicking me; his hands were above his head, latched onto his scalp, tugging the hair, and watching me in horror with tears flowing freely down his face. I had never seen such pain on his face and when I realized it was me that had caused him to hurt so badly I broke down.

Tears broke through the dam I had built and flooded my face, sobs shook through my body with such an unbeatable force that I could have caused an earthquake, and I could feel tendrils of hair being ripped from my scalp by my fingers and falling to the blankets covering my legs. "Nobody loves me!" I screamed at Edward, tearing my fingers from my hair to rip the IV out of my arm. I tore all of the other wires from my body and leapt out of the bed, heading for the door.

It felt like I was tackled but in reality it was likely that Edward hadn't even been using a quarter of his strength when he lifted me away from the doorknob and cradled me to him like a baby. He screamed for a nurse as I shrieked and howled against him, kicking, clawing, and almost biting his hand. A nurse finally came in with a syringe loaded with clear liquid and a terrified expression at my outrage. She lurched forward and before I knew it she had depressed the syringe and the liquid was coursing through my veins, sedating me.

Edward laid me down on my bed but he didn't leave or make any move to put any distance between us. I wasn't asleep but my muscles had been numbed so I laid there, paralyzed for the most part, limited to wiggling my fingers and toes or moving my head to answer a question. Edward was half lying on my bed with me, his head rested on the pillow with mine and his arms were wrapped around my torso while he was seated in the chair next to the bed.

"No- uddy –uves meh." I mumbled again for the third time, tears still rolling down my face with no intention to stop. It was as if they were making up for all the lost time, for how long they had been trapped in my tear ducts, begging to come out and always beaten back. I felt Edward shake his head against the pillow and he lifted my hand to his mouth to kiss my palm.

"I love you. With every fiber of my being I am in love with you Bella. Why would I be here in this room with you if I didn't love you? Why would my sister run from this room crying when you said those horrible words if she didn't love you? Why would your father be signing you up for help right this moment if he didn't love you? My parents love you, my sister loves you, and I love you. That doesn't sound like nobody to me. That sounds like a lot of somebodies." A whine came from the back of my throat and I began sobbing again, wishing I wasn't numb so I could turn away and hide.

I heard the door open but my head was facing the opposite wall so I couldn't see who it was until they came around to the other side of the bed. It was Alice, with puffy red eyes. Seeing her crying made me feel like the worst person in the world. And to be honest I think I was.

"Charlie wanted me to tell you that you will be leaving for treatment tomorrow." I nodded my head as best as I could. I didn't blame Charlie for not wanting to come in to see me. If I had a daughter that was as big of a disappointment as me I wouldn't want to see her either. "Also Esme wants you to know that she wishes you all the best and for you to try as hard as you can to get better, she's sorry she couldn't make it to say goodbye." I closed my eyes, feeling another rush of guilt as I imagined poor sweet Esme crying over me.

And yet, in the back of my mind all the tears and all the guilt and all the sadness meant nothing. I wasn't going to try to get better. I was going to wait until I was deemed a hopeless case and sent back home where I would wither away back to the wraith that I was just this morning. No one could change me and no amount of begging or pleading could make me change my mind. No one could tell me what to do and I was going to prove it.

The movie finished and soon it was time for lunch, one of the most dreaded times of the day besides breakfast and dinner. Rosalie and I headed to our usual seats next to each other right in the middle of the table for all the other anorexics. Much like a high school lunch room we were broken into subtle but concrete groups. Two groups to be exact; the Ana's and the Mia's. Can you guess what group I'm in?

The bulimics hated us, and we hated the bulimics. They hated how we had the self control and we hated how they ate like it was their last meal. Even though I used to be one of them they still were the vilest group of girls I had ever seen. Of course Lauren would be one of them. I watched her sit down with a tray loaded with almost everything they offered and immediately picked up a hamburger and shove half of it in her mouth.

My lip curled in disgust, thankful that I at least had a choice of what I had to eat. Rosalie and I got up from the table when we were called and stood in line, glaring at the steamy pizza slices and the greasy cheese that bubbled on top of them. I grabbed a tray and picked up a small apple and a container of yogurt. 80 + 80= 160. I looked to a nurse who frowned at my choice so I picked up a carton of full fat milk (170) to appease her. She looked away, somewhat satisfied, and walked over to the bulimics table to warn a girl to slow down or she would vomit. I think that's what she's aiming for Nurse Pam.

I waited for Rosalie and then we returned to our table; already planning how to hide the milk I had no intentions of drinking. What do you think Rose and I had been whispering about before she was called for the phone? We always wear big clothes so it's easier to hide things we won't eat. Once seated, I opened the yogurt and took tiny, carefully measured bites, letting the sweet artificial taste of strawberries wash over my tongue.

My eyes wandered across the room, counting how many guards they had watching us today. Including Nurse Pam there was three and two were busy flirting with the male cook to pay attention to any of us. Pam had her hands full settling a dispute between two bulimics over who got the cookie someone was too full to eat giving Rose and me the perfect opportunity to slip things under the table and into our underwear.

I pulled the milk below the tabletop and with one last look to make sure no one saw, slithered my hand into my pants, under the waistband of my underwear, and tucked the milk carton right between the fabric of my panties and lady bits. A shiver wracked my body as the icy cardboard seeped through my skin. I looked at Rose's tray and saw that it now mirrored mine; an apple core and a half empty yogurt container. I smirked at her and she giggled, patting her crotch and shivering.

I bit into my apple with a smile. This was how I was going to spend the rest of my time here. I wasn't going to change. Everyone just had to accept that.

There's chapter three. Guess how long it took me to write this chapter? Record time that's how long. I started yesterday and I'm done! Shoot this chapter wrote itself practically. Hope the next chapter is the same!