09
It hadn't taken Ziva long to find out just how much Ari's death affected Kate. When you lose the one you love life's never gonna be the same. But in this case Ziva was sure Kate wouldn't be here with them if Ziva wouldn't be here.
At the beginning of their relationship Ziva knew she was just some kind of replacement for Ari. This changed through their time together and while Ziva recognized she had serious feelings for Kate. She really thought she did have seen the same in Kate's eyes for her.
With the time Kate's being pregnant Ziva felt it change again. Every time Ziva had said I love you (and she really meant it by the time) Kate would just say nothing. At night Ziva would watch Kate cry in her sleep and whisper 'Ari' and 'I love you' from time to time.
Ziva ever had been afraid this will come but never really thought it would.
Kate knew she wasn't fair to Ziva. She'd heard her say I love you on various occasions and just sat there saying nothing or changing the subject.
Truth was she did not love Ziva – but also in a way she did. She loved Ziva for everything she'd done. For being there for her – being with her. For keeping her mind off of Ari. For going through all this with her while being in love and knowing Kate would never love her back like this. Yes, Kate loved Ziva – she was just not in love.
Kate had been in love with Ari; she was in love with Ari now and would ever be in love with Ari.
*falling in love with a vampire* *falling in love with a vampire*
Ziva opened the door to Kate's bedroom to find her awake. Smiling for a second or so she closed the door behind her and walked over to the dark-haired woman, sitting up in bed.
She probably – no definitively – shouldn't be doing this right now. But just like she felt it was wrong to do it now she felt it had to be done. And if not now, she'll do it never, she thought.
"Kate we need to talk." Ziva started. Something was wrong. Ziva did not even hold Kate's hand. Kate sensed what was coming.
"You know I love you and I know you do not love. But you made me realize something. If you truly love someone you have to make some priorities. Mine is for you to be happy but you can't be happy with us being together." Ziva stumbled over the last few words, feeling tears creeping up in her eyes.
"No, Ziva. What are you talking about? Please I need you!" It was Kate who took the hand of the other woman in her own and Ziva who broke the contact almost the moment it happened.
"No, Kate –" Ziva said while getting up and walking to the door. "You don't need me!"
With that she left he apartment. She called Tony to please check on Kate, looking how much damage Ziva caused.
She did not know Kate had tried to follow Ziva. The moment she got to her feet Kate could already feel them not being steady enough to hold her and her mind was getting dizzy.
It was Tony who found her fifteen minutes later and took her to the hospital.
*falling in love with a vampire* *falling in love with a vampire*