!Have fun in 2011!
Special thanks to blackbloodbaby, Dreams-In-Shadows, fruitsbasketkuver123, and Readergiril21 for responding to my SOS and giving me ideas!
Thank you to everyone!
I'm amazed it's even come this far.
Nearly 2,000 hits! YES YES YES!
~As twisted as it seems, I only feel love when it's in my dreams. So let in the morning light and let the darkness fade away. Can you turn my black roses red?~
The Only Exception
Tight Grip On Reality
She was on a bridge.
Wait?
How the hell had she gotten on a bridge?
Haruhi looked around, brown eyes confused.
"Hello?" she called out, looking around. "Anybody here?" No one responded. "Well, that helped a bunch." The woman muttered sarcastically. Haruhi sighed, moving her feet. Only…..
Her feet wouldn't move.
She paused, tugging at them in annoyance.
They weren't glued, they weren't encased in cement.
Just, stuck. Boring and stuck.
"Stupid subconscious!" Haruhi shouted up at the grey sky. "You couldn't make my dream world a little more imaginative?" she huffed. "This dream sucks, but it is better than my usual ones." She waited for a response. Some almighty being to respond from the heavens. Nothing happened. "Hello? Subconscious? Anyone?" she shouted again. She sighed in irritation. "So what's the deal, do I just sit here until I wake up or something?"
A quiet chuckle floated over to her.
"My dear Haruhi, if you just did that, what fun would this dream be?"
"Tamaki?" Haruhi turned her head to her left, searching for her husband. "Where are you?" He laughed again.
"Over here."
"Could you help me get off this bridge? It's pretty annoy-"
She stopped.
Tamaki was standing in what could only be called a demolished city. Flames licked across burned-out buildings, the road was destroyed and riddled with potholes. But here was Tamaki, quietly standing there with a small smile on his face. His face was clean, everything about him prim and proper as usual. The only unusual thing about him was that he was wearing his old host outfit.
Haruhi looked down in spite of herself.
She let out a sigh of relief. No Host Club outfits for her. Regular, boring clothes. Thank God. "Tamaki," the woman looked up at her husband. "What the hell happened over there? What did you do?" He smiled nonchalantly at her, hands in his pockets. "Nothing, Haruhi. I didn't do anything." But his smile was too easy, too sincere.
Instantly, she could tell he was lying.
He had done something, he just wouldn't say what.
Haruhi turned her back on him, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I'm not talking to you until you tell me." Tamaki whined, a pitiful sound really. "But, Haruhiiiiiiiiiiii…" She ignored him. "I just want this dream to be over. It's bad enough that he invades my real life, but now he's infiltrated my dreams too. Sneaky bastard!" she muttered quietly to herself.
"Will you talk to me?"
"No, you're just as bad as he is." Haruhi glared daggers at Takashi furiously. "Get out of my damn dreams! Both of you!" Unlike Tamaki, Takashi was a wreck. His cheek was cut and he was covered from head to foot in a thin layer of dust. He was sitting calmly in a field of silver roses. Haruhi sweat dropped. 'Okay, now I know it's a dream.' Both men looked as if they were in the exact opposites of where they should be.
(A/N: Okay guys, this whole dream scene is all about symbolism. Think really hard!)
"I'm afraid it's quite simple, Haruhi." A voice coolly said above her. "You see, all you have to do is pick a man and the whole dream will be over." Kyouya said, glasses flashing. "I am simply here to help you with this difficult decision." He smiled a little sadly at her. "You love them both, am I right?" Haruhi bit her lip, annoyed. "Kyouya, why the hell would I need your help? This is my dream and therefore my choice. Let me decide, please?"
Again, Kyouya smiled sadly at her.
"Whatever you say, Haruhi…."
"Haruhi, my dearest one, I love you more than the heavens above and anything in the entire world. You are the thing most precious to me, and I would never, ever hurt you. I can give you everything you've ever dreamed of and more. All you need to do is choose me, and everything will be okay again. He'll go away." Tamaki extended his hand to her gently, as he had done seven years ago. His expression was gentle, yet his eyes were cold and furious. Haruhi wanted to believe him, but… The city he was in. It was in ruins. Nothing could be salvaged there. She didn't want to live there, even if it was with Tamaki.
Her feet were no longer glued to the bridge. She was free to move. Reluctantly, she looked at Takashi. He was calmly sitting in the field of roses, calmly watching her. His eyes were guarded carefully, emotionless and grey again. Haruhi began to stretch her hand out to Tamaki. 'Aren't you going to stop me?' she thought. She didn't know why she suddenly thought this. It just came to her head, unwilling and unwittingly. He gave her a tiny smile, a fragment of the smile she used to see. The smile that made her smile.
'It's your choice, not mine.'
She stopped.
Her hand curled away from Tamaki's.
"Haruhi?" Tamaki said, confused. "What's wrong, dear?" Haruhi looked at him remorsefully. "You can't make me choose between you two. I won't do it." She sat down stubbornly in the middle of the bridge. Takashi shrugged noncommittally, closing his eyes. Tamaki struggled for words. "What do you mean? Of course you have to choose. You can't have both of us." He tilted his head curiously. "Haruhi, you're not making sense. You're ill. Shall I fetch a doctor for you?" The woman sighed, irritated. "No. I'm not choosing and you can't make me."
She looked at Takashi, who suppressed a snigger. "Shut up. Everyone just shut up until I wake up." Kyouya's voice chimed in above her. "If you don't pick someone, you'll die. Who would you die for?" Haruhi looked up at her friend.
"I would die for either of them."
Kyouya made an expression somewhere between a grimace and a smile.
"So be it."
The bridge crumbled to dust under her body.
Haruhi's eyes widened in shock. She fell, looking up at everyone's faces. Tamaki leaned down sadly. His words were so faint that Haruhi could barely make them out.
"You should have picked someone."
"Ah!" Haruhi twitched, bolting upright. Her blankets were swathed around her in a cocoon-like fashion. The woman struggled with them for five minutes before she was free. Once released, she lay back down. Haruhi furrowed her eyebrow, bewildered. Okay, so she had had a LOT of weird dreams before, but she swore that had easily been the weirdest. Like one time she dreamt that Hikaru was a giant hotdog, but anyway…. She thought about it.
Obviously, it was her subconscious trying to get her to make a choice. Tamaki or Takashi? How many times had she lost sleep trying to decide? How many numerous migraines had ensued? Fifty-three. Fifty-three exactly. Haruhi rubbed her temples absently. Must sleep, must decide, must sleep, must decide. 'If I decide, then I can sleep.' She thought. 'Yes, but I might pick the wrong person.' "Gah!" she half-screamed.
Something moved in the kitchen.
Haruhi froze.
'A burglar? But, Tamaki's supposed to have this place full-proof!'
'I should call the police!'
But, of course, being the Haruhi we all know and love, she decided to get up and go investigate for herself. What she found wasn't exactly a burglar. Okay, not even close to a burglar. Cautiously, Haruhi peeked her head around the corner. On the way to the kitchen, she'd grabbed a baseball bat. 'Let's see them try to take anything now!' There was a figure moving around in the kitchen.
With a cry appropriate to that of a terrorist, Haruhi launched herself from her hiding place. Quickly, she hit out at the person with the bat, aiming for the kneecaps. And she tripped. Over a pair of discarded shoes.
Instead of the luxurious, easy dismantle of the criminal that she had hoped for, Haruhi landed sprawled awkwardly on the kitchen floor. The cool tile pressed against her cheek. "Haruhi? Are you alright?" She jumped up, hand splayed in a karate-like fashion. "Who are you? How do you know my name?" The voice sighed. "You really don't know?" Haruhi thought about for a minute. It was obviously Takashi. It sounded just like him, strong and protective and perfect. Again she compared him with Tamaki, and was startled at the difference.
Tamaki gave her everything she wanted.
Takashi was everything she needed.
She chose Takashi, her heart and her mind already knew that.
But why wasn't she able to say so?
Why couldn't she let go of Tamaki?
Carefully, warily, she put her hands down. A light flipped on, and Takashi looked at her emotionlessly. "What? Stop scrutinizing me like that!" Haruhi said irritably, turning her back on him defensively. A hot blush crept across her cheeks. "I'm making sure you're well." He replied simply. "And stop that!" She whipped around to face him again. "Stop acting so enclosed! I hate it!" Takashi just looked at her. "Anyway, why are you here?"
"Hm."
"Don't Hm me."
"Wanted to make sure you were okay." He muttered lamely. Haruhi smiled a little to herself. Then, just as quickly, she wiped it off her face. 'No, Haruhi! Stop trying to give in!' "Okay." Haruhi looked at him over her shoulder. "Well, if you're done here, you can just go, I guess." Was that a hint of sadness she detected in his eyes? Maybe, but it was gone too fast to tell. Takashi went towards the door silently. Suddenly, the whole idea of him leaving made Haruhi want to panic. She wanted to throw her arms around him and just cry for a long time, wailing about much she missed him with her.
"Takashi, eh-um, wait…" Haruhi outstretched a hand quietly. He paused, resting his ebony head against the door. "What? Do you just want to torture me some more?" She was shocked by the remorsefulness of the reply. "Is that all I do to you?" She found herself saying back. "Lately, it has been. And I hate it, Haruhi. I hate it so very much." Takashi hit his fist against the wood. "It's horrible, wanting you back and wanting you to be happy, and not knowing what makes you happy. So many things are confusing me." Haruhi bit her lip, staring at the floor.
"What makes you happy?"
'Takashi, of course.'
'Say it, say it Haruhi. Tell him that he makes you happy. Tell him.'
"you." She whispered quietly. She walked over carefully to where he stood, bare feet padding on the floor. Bravely, Haruhi wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face against his back.
"I-I choose you."
She had finally decided.
There were some things in this world you just couldn't live without.
His silver eyes widened.
"When you were gone, Tamaki was there for me. I needed someone to help me cope with the fact that you were gone, and he was there. I guess you could say that I used him as a substitute. He held me all those times I cried over you, all those times I wished you were still here. I imagined it was you, telling me that you were all right. That you'd be back soon. Everyone was whispering about me, talking about how weird it was that I was in love with you after everything you'd done. So, I ended up marrying Tamaki, just to prove all of them wrong. To make them stop talking about you so harshly."
"But," Haruhi held on to him tighter, "when you finally did come back, I realized that I was in way over my head. That there was no way I could be with Tamaki anymore as long as you were here. No way at all. But, I was so worried about how others would think if I came back to you, married. I was worried that they would react badly, maybe even horribly. I was afraid that they would talk about you. I felt so out of character when you were gone, and it changed me. And I know I must sound weird right now too, but Takashi, I….."
A tear escaped her eye.
"I love you!"
"You're… You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!" Haruhi cried out, hugging him tight. There, it was out. It was all out, everything that she'd wanted to say, everything that had been building up inside her for so long. It was like a dam had broken somewhere inside her, and now Haruhi felt herself acting out of character again. She began to cry, soaking the back of Takashi's shirt through. He had said nothing this entire time, and still remained silent as she cried. Gradually, when he felt her grip loosen, Takashi turned and gently picked Haruhi up in his arms.
He took her over to the couch, holding her in his lap. Takashi felt as if they were mere teenagers again, on that night in Music Room Three. Haruhi wrapped her arms around his neck silently, leaning into him. Her sobs lasted for about ten minutes, and each time when Takashi thought Haruhi would never stop, he'd quietly whisper in her ear. "It's okay." Eventually, the cries subsided, and he just sat there, holding her, rocking her gently. They sat there silently for a while.
"Haruhi?" Takashi finally asked, his face in her hair. "Hm?" Haruhi murmured absently. "Do you really mean it this time? For real?" She nodded, turning her face away from him. "Then say it." She looked intently at a lamp next to her. "I promise this time." Carefully, Takashi took her face in his hands. She blushed childishly, brown eyes looking down. "Takashi?" Haruhi mumbled, hands sliding down into her lap. They fisted there ever so slightly. "Hm?"
"You promise too…."
Takashi cautiously tilted her face up to his.
He kissed her softly.
"I promise."
She kissed back harshly, demandingly.
Takashi felt his silver eyes widen.
This wasn't going to be like last time.
Not by a long shot.
He was almost afraid of what might occur.
"Do you understand what your mission is, then?" Yukiko Morinozuka said harshly. It was much too warm outside, and she wished to go back indoors. Yukiko did best in the cold. Her husband had once said it was because her heart was made of ice. "Well, do you, you insignificant child?" Her black hair fell harshly in front of her face, and she pushed it back impatiently. "Your assignment is to trail Takashi Morinozuka and ensure that he comes in no contact with Haruhi Fujioka!" Her walking stick banged on the ground in annoyance. "Answer me, you worthless boy!"
Satoshi Morinozuka looked up at his mother with impassive grey eyes.
"Yes, Mother. I understand."
"Good. Now leave. You sicken me." Yukiko turned her back on her son, kimono swishing. "You look too much like your brother." Satoshi bowed his head respectfully. He had gotten used to his mother's insults now. They no longer had any effect on him. "Yes, Mother." Satoshi left the Morinozuka estate quickly, praying his brother wasn't doing anything stupid.
Of course, he was wrong.
Tamaki knocked on Kyouya's door quietly. It was very late, and the moon glared down at him suspiciously. "C'mon Kyouya, open up already." Five minutes later, a very irritable Shadow King appeared at the door. "Who is calling so late? You better have a damn good excuse…." He growled, opening his eyes blearily. "Oh, it's you. Well, seeing as I'm sure you won't go away, come in." Kyouya held the door open wide, already trumping back up to his bedroom. Tamaki followed, easily outracing him.
"Kyouya, I'm doubting Haruhi's faithfulness to me!" Tamaki spilled out from his spot on the bed. "I'm worried that that beast will make her do things that are immoral! What will I do? What will I do? Kyouya, Kyouya you've got to help me! Help me think of ways to win her love back! She's slipping, I can see it! What went wrong, Kyouya?" Tamaki began to ramble, answering his own questions before Kyouya could breathe. "It was probably because he came back! Yes, that's it! He came back and now my poor Haruhi is confused, blinded her hatred for him that she's mistaking it for love! Mama, Papa, I am so sorry! I have failed to get you an heir in time! The window of fertility is slipping away!" Tamaki cried out, collapsing on the bed. He took in fast gulps of air.
Quickly, Kyouya intervened before Tamaki could regain his oxygen. "Tamaki, have you ever considered the fact that you don't pay attention to her enough?" His eyes saddened as he remembered the night he'd found Haruhi, curled up in a ball of self-pity and pain.
"If he really cared about me, he should've dragged his lazy ass out here!"
Tamaki's violet eyes widened pitifully. He sucked in a breath, then began to shout. "Oh, Dieu que je suis si désolé! J'ai permis à ma femme pour devenir fragile et solitaire! S'il vous plaît me punir pour ce que j'ai fait! S'il vous plaît me punir!*" Kyouya face palmed, annoyed beyond words. "Tamaki, God is not going to punish you. Right now, you're just punishing yourself. And Haruhi is the most secure and friendly woman I have ever met. Well, maybe not the friendly part, but she certainly isn't insecure." Kyouya sat down heavily on the bed. "God, when I'm around you, I feel like a need a drink just to put up with you."
Tamaki whimpered. "Kyouya, that's so mean! I am having a crisis here! Please help me!" Kyouya looked at him. His figure was blurry without his glasses, but honestly….. He didn't want to see Tamaki's face right now. He was probably very insecure and doubting himself at this point. Kyouya frowned sadly. 'Tamaki, I wish I could help you.' Tamaki, not receiving a response, had begun to cry out loudly in French again. Eventually, Kyouya just sat there and waited impatiently until his friend stopped whining. "Are you done?" he interjected pointedly. Tamaki nodded wordlessly, violet eyes wide.
"Tamaki," Kyouya said delicately, "have you ever though that maybe your attitude and lifestyle is smothering her? That maybe she doesn't want all this? Have you ever seriously considered what Haruhi needs and what she wants?" Tamaki stared at him dully, not comprehending. "Huh?" he said, tilting his head.
"Have you considered that maybe you two aren't right together, Tamaki?" Kyouya finally said harshly. As soon as it was out, Kyouya fell silent. Tamaki's blonde locks fell forward, shielding his eyes. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say, Tamaki." His friend sat silent for a moment. Then-
"Est ce possible, Dieu? Mon beau Haruhi a-t-il probablement des sensations pour un autre homme? Elle pas m'aime plus? S'il vous plaît Dieu, me dire!**" The man shouted loudly, standing up quickly. "Please….tell me….." Tamaki mumbled, falling down on his knees. Kyouya looked at him poignantly. "Tamaki, those are questions you and Haruhi have to figure out on your own. Go talk to her." His friend bowed his head. "I can't. She's angry with me." The black-haired man started. "Why is she angry?" Kyouya had known Haruhi to get irritated at Tamaki a lot, but never angry.
"I said some harsh words about Takashi. She didn't take to kindly to them." Kyouya sat down heavily, placing a hand on his blond friend's shoulder. "Start. From the beginning." Tamaki nodded, and in the middle of the night, told his best friend why his wife was pissed off at him. "There is no beginning. I just told her that I think Takashi is a bastard and deserved to stay in jail for the rest of his life. He shouldn't have been let out. They should have kept him in there until he died."
(A/N: Woooooah, there Dark Tamaki. As far as I know, there are a lot of angry fan girls who would kill you for your crimes. Such as marrying Haruhi, for instance?)
"But…" Tamaki thought carefully, a little remorseful. "Haruhi doesn't see him that way. She slapped me. I mean like actually slapped me. She said that Takashi had actually been my friend before, and that I was acting shitty. Shitty. That's exactly what she said. My Haruhi called me shitty." Kyouya assumed the position of therapist. "Tamaki, do you think there's a difference between your Haruhi and the Haruhi that was with Takashi?" The blonde-haired man chuckled. "Of course. My Haruhi was all melancholy and serious, nothing like the Haruhi before the incident. His Haruhi, she's-" Tamaki stopped.
He mumbled the last part quietly to himself.
"What?"
Tamaki quietly whispered.
"She's exactly like the girl she was before. The girl everyone fell in love with."
His voice grew slightly louder.
"She laughs when she's happy, cries when she's sad, and beats me up when she's angry."
Violet eyes met black ones.
"She's Haruhi. It's her."
Kyouya nodded wordlessly.
'Perhaps you're not as dense as I thought, Tamaki.'
"And…and…"
Tamaki swallowed.
Kyouya waited anxiously.
"I don't know. That's as far as I got." Tamaki shrugged noncommittally, plucking at his jeans. "YOU IDIOT!" Kyouya shouted, hitting him on the crown of his head. "Ow!" he whined, holding his blonde locks in pain. "Kyouuuuuuya, that hurt!" "GOOD!" he shouted again. "Think about it, Tamaki! Think carefully. What's that saying that if you love someone…." He worked his hands in little circles to indicate his point. "…..You give them miso soup?" Tamaki quirked an eyebrow in confusion.
"No. Just no."
"But why not? Miso tastes just like boiled sunflower seeds!"
"Tamaki, if you love someone, you let them go."
"But, then shouldn't Takashi let her go and let me have her?"
"No!" Kyouya threw his head in his hands. The action would've broken his glasses had he been wearing them. 'Tamaki, you are such an idiot….' He thought, shaking slightly in annoyance and disbelief. "Just….. Just leave….." Kyouya said, pointing stiff-armed at the door. "No, I won't!" Tamaki pouted stubbornly, crossing his arms. "I'm not leaving until you tell me!" Kyouya glared at him. "You will if I call security!" Tamaki retorted back childishly. "I will bite them! I will sink my teeth into their trousers!"
Kyouya flipped him off. "Tamaki, let me put this as simply as I can." He exhaled slowly, calming himself down. "Do you love Haruhi more than Takashi does?" Tamaki looked at him sharply. "Of course. I've been with her longer, right?" Kyouya sweat dropped. 'Clearly, he has no idea what love is.' "Okay, well typically, when you love someone more than the other person, it means you're placing their happiness above yours. You let them be with that other person, because it makes you look like the better person and it shows that you love them more…." Kyouya laughed evilly. Over on his bedside table, his glasses glinted evilly.
"So you're saying I should let her go?"
Kyouya sighed, a smile gracing his features.
'Finally.'
"Yes, Tamaki. If you really love her as much as you say you do, you'll let her go."
Tamaki smiled graciously, thanking Kyouya and getting up.
He paused on his way out the door.
"Kyouya?"
The figure, now peacefully back in his bed, mumbled groggily, "Yeah?"
His violet eyes were a little happy.
"I don't know if I can do that…"
And Tamaki was gone.
Ah, after a month of not knowing what to write, I pulled myself through! Again, thank you to blackbloodbaby, fruitsbasketluver123, Dreams-In-Shadows, and Readergirl21.
The little lyrical piece towards the top is Black Roses Red by Alana Grace. Listen to it; it's a very good song.
"Oh God, I am so sorry! I have allowed my wife to become insecure and lonely! Please punish me for what I've done! Please punish me!" ~The first French rant. *
"Is that possible, God? Does my lovely Haruhi possibly have feelings for another man? Does she not love me anymore? Please God, tell me!" ~The second French rant.
Or at least that's what the translator told me.
By the way, I have a YouTube account. I am currently developing AMV's to correspond with this story. Look me up. Right now, no AMV story things are up. Just regular videos.
Username: EmoAnime24
Love ya!
Bailey