At Last

Hermione looked out the window at nothing in particular. She had good days and bad days and today was a bad day. The good days were days she could smile a little, maybe laugh and talk about things that everyone thought was important.

Bad days were filled with longing, and so much pain. There was no laughter or smiles. There was nothing. Her friends and family accepted this about her now, that some days she couldn't be bothered because she wasn't much company anyway.

Today was the worst bad day she'd had in years actually. She'd forgotten to take her dreamless sleeping potion before bed and she had dreamed for the first time in sixty-five years.

She'd dreamed of him.

Even after all this time her heart and soul belonged to him and would forever. She was old now; she had the gray curls and wrinkles to prove it.

It was such a simple dream, one she thought was real. She'd woken up this morning and turned over expecting to find him sleeping peacefully next to her. He wasn't.

It felt like losing him all over again, the ripping pain in her heart. "No!"

A pained cry had escaped her mouth and it was then that the past sixty-five years came back to her with a harsh slap. Her love was gone and he wasn't coming back. He'd been gone for a long time too.

Hermione moved closer to the window, seeing raindrops running down the glass. She pressed one wrinkled, shaking finger to the cold glass and wished she could just disappear like those raindrops. What she would give to disappear.

Today was a bad day for her and it had been so long since she wished so desperately for death.

The floo activated and the green flames came to life. Hermione didn't have the strength in her to straighten up and meet whoever came through.

"Aunt Hermione?" Lily called from the entry way. Hermione didn't move a muscle, just stared out the window hollowly. She didn't have much left inside her anyway. Not since he left and took half of her with him.

"Why are you sitting in the cold?" Lily asked with a laugh, always laughing, that girl. It made Hermione gravitate toward her, covet her as her own almost. She didn't have her own children, how could she.

"I don't feel cold." Her heart felt cold all the time, but Lilly couldn't know that. Hermione's love was shameful to the family. Oh the adults understood, but to talk about it? Explain it? Never. His name was never mentioned.

"Aunt Hermione? Are you alright?" She asked, blocking her view of outside. Hermione looked up at her niece, her beautiful red hair and freckles. She was such a beautiful woman.

"No. Lily you shouldn't be here. Not today." Lily's face shone with hurt but it was artificial compared to the pain in her aunt at that moment.

"But you said to come over today so we could work on my article. You wanted to write your story, remember?"

Yes, she remembered and maybe it was best to do it on a bad day. It was so fresh and raw on bad days.

"Sorry, honey. I forgot for a moment. Where should I start?" Hermione asked softly. She couldn't take her pain out on her favorite niece.

Lily brushed her hair away from her face, "Well how about you're first war related injury. This is about your life in the war and after."

It was so vivid in her mind, the first injury in the department of mysteries.

"I was in my fifth year and my best friends were Harry Potter and Ronald Weasely. Harry had been lashing out at everyone since the return of Voldemort earlier that year and he was distancing himself from us. The headmaster made the mistake of avoiding him, hoping to avoid causing a catastrophe. All he didn't was delay it and it was even worse than anyone could have anticipated. Voldemort was in Harry's mind, showing him horrid things. Then he tricked him. Harry had no family to speak of, except Sirius Black, his godfather. The message was that Sirius was being tortured and Harry felt that he had to go and save him. So that's what we did. Ron, Harry, Luna Lovegood, Ginny, Neville Longbottom, and myself all rode threstrals to the Ministry and we were ambushed. Harry tried to so hard to protect us, but he failed. Neville was tortured, so was I. Luna was stunned so many times I can't remember." Hermione took a long breath before she continued.

"I never knew who cast the curse on my, it was so confusing, but it slashed my chest open, very shallowly, from my collar bone to my left hip. It left a scar I still have today."

Lily wrote down every single word and looked up at her aunt, "Is that the day that Sirius died?"

Hermione nodded.

"The next time you were involved was?"

"I joined the order of the Phoenix eventually, but something more important happened before that. I fell in love."

Lily stopped her quill for a moment, but kept going as if she'd expected Hermione to say that.

"His name….oh….his name was Severus Snape and he was a master spy for Albus Dumbledore." It'd been so long since she'd said, thought, or even heard his name. It hurt more than she could fathom.

"He was old enough to be my father and I was barely of age. We were fighting a war together and one day I fell deep into his black eyes and I guess I never came back out."

"Aunt Hermione? Are you talking about the man Albus is named for? Severus Snape the Slytherin?"

Hermione nodded.

"Everyone was staying at headquarters and needed a break so the boys and Ginny went to a cannons game and the women went shopping. He apparated inside the door and collapsed. He'd been tortured and had so many cuts and bruises. I remember he couldn't move his legs for five hours. That was the first time I'd spoken to him outside of school and he was so polite. I was the only one brave enough to sit by him at dinner time, too. I always thought that was funny, and still do."

Hermione wrung her hands together. Tears ran down her face silently, but she could do nothing to stop them. Lily didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue.

"I didn't see him for a few weeks, but he'd been assigned to take me to get school supplies for the upcoming year. There was an attack in Diagon alley just as we finished shopping and he pulled me into alleyway while people were being tortured and murdered. He tilted my chin up with his fingers and made sure I wasn't hurt too badly. Someone must have taken a picture of that moment and it was on the front cover the next morning. He didn't see me very much after that. When I went back to school, everyone was whispering about me. They said such horrible things."

Lily looked up at that, "What did they say?"

Hermione blushed slightly, "They said I was sucking my Professors cock for my grades, your father's grades, and Ron's grades in Potions."

Lily's mouth hung open and then closed with a snap, "Eww."

Hermione smiled, "I wasn't, but it didn't matter. Everywhere I went people stared and made vulgar gestures. Then it was my birthday. I was finally of age. Only everyone forgot. Harry, Ron, Ginny, everyone forgot it was my birthday. I cried myself to sleep in the library and didn't wake up until after curfew. When I did, madam Pince wished me a happy birthday. The librarian remembered but not my own friends."

Hermione paused before continuing, "Severus found me that night and gave me a detention and all I could think was, 'on my birthday?' I asked if I could serve it with anyone but him and he agreed. The rumors annoyed him as well. It didn't matter because three weeks later he caught me again and this time I had to serve my detention with him as well. I remember I was on my way to his chambers when some girl whispered loud enough for me to hear, "She's going there for that? Now?" I was so embarrassed that I ran and entered his rooms and slammed the door behind me. Then I saw him sitting there and all he said was, "You're early." I was so angry! He was stunned that I started yelling at him. I told him it was all his fault and that he knew about all the rumors going around about us.

In the end he was yelling at me and I was yelling at him. I said he could have done something to help me, maybe punished the people who were saying those horrible things."

Hermione paused and for a long time she said nothing. It had stopped raining outside and the sun was shining again.

"What happened next, Aunt Hermione?" Lily asked curiously. Hermione blushed.

"I kissed him. I made all those rumors come true. Except I wasn't sleeping with him for my grades or anyone else's. We were happy. At first it was just sex, lust filled nights, but he fell in love with me. I saw it happened so clearly and I let myself fall right back. It was a horrible thing for us to do to each other. It wouldn't end well, that's what he told me. He was sarcastic and witty and overall a grouch, but I could handle anything he threw at me."

Hermione's voice cracked when she came towards the end. They'd had so little time together.

"I took care of him when he was hurt, or sick. He took care of me when I couldn't take the stares any longer. It worked out so well, until I had to leave. Harry and Ron wanted to run off and destroy all the horcruxes and I had to go with them. What hope was there if I didn't? Severus begged me not to go, said he needed me, that he loved me. I promised him that I would always be his and that he was the only one in this world for me. Then I left him and didn't see him again for two months."

Lily was crying, but scribbling away at the parchment paper quickly.

"It was chaos, a war was breaking out and Harry, Ron and I went to the shrieking shack because Voldemort would be there for sure. It was the only place to hide except the forest. My Severus was there, kneeling in front of that thing's feet. I couldn't go to him. I couldn't...risk so many lives just for his. I didn't realize what would happen until just a moment before it did. Voldemort's snake, Nagini killed him. But Severus was a fighter and he gave Harry the memories he needed to kill Voldemort. I tried to heal him, like I had done so many times before, but it was no use. He died in my arms. I felt him take his last breath and saw the light leave his beautiful eyes. Severus was gone and I wished I could follow him…That's all I've wished for in the sixty-five years I've been without him."

"I think…I think I have enough now. I am so sorry, Aunt Hermione. I can't believe I never knew." Lily sobbed and Hermione took her niece's hand.

"None of this is your fault, honey. I wanted to waste away in my pain alone. I think my time is about up now."

Lily's eyes grew wide and she shook her head, "I don't want you to leave me. You're like a mother to me!"

Hermione's heart warmed just a little at the words, "You don't know how much that means to me. You be proud of your own mother too. Ginny was the light in your father's eyes."

"Why couldn't magic cure her cancer? She died so young; I can barely remember her now. It's only been twelve years."

"I don't have any answers Lily. Just know that you'll have your own family someday and that'll take some of the hurt away. I promise. I think I'll lie down a little now. It's been a hard day."

Lily nodded and helped her aunt to her bedroom just around the corner. Lily was shocked by this new information and felt hurt that no one ever thought to tell her. Her aunt was hurting every day and no one did anything about it?

"Head on home, I'll see you tomorrow. You get my book published you hear. I want my family to know I didn't mean to leave them out on purpose." Hermione whispered as she pulled the covers over her. Her heart was slowing steadily and it wasn't painful, it was peaceful.

"Okay, I'm just going to use the restroom first. See you tomorrow Aunt Hermione."

Her niece slipped out of the room and Hermione took a few deep breaths just before she took her last. She knew she wouldn't be alone where she was going.

Lily Potter washed her hand and wiped her face clean and willed herself not to cry. Her Aunt would be fine tomorrow. Today was just a bad day.

She went back to tell her goodbye but she was already asleep. Lily smiled a little, seeing how peaceful her aunt looked.

Then she saw her chest wasn't moving.

"Oh no. No!" Lily ran to her aunt but she knew in her heart that her aunt was gone. She ran to the floo and her father caught her when she fell out.

"Lily? Honey what's wrong?" He asked concernedly.

"Aunt Hermione died. She's gone. Oh, I cant believe it." Lily sobbed into her father shirt. Her dad gave a cry and then they were crying together.

They mourned the loss of the women they hardly understood.

Her funeral was two weeks later and in that time, Lily published her Aunt's life story. It was on the front page of the prophet every day.

Hundreds of people came to the funeral; some who had probably never known Hermione in her life, but knew her from her owns words written for everyone to read.

Lily was the only one who would speak, as her father's health kept him in wheelchair now and Uncle Ron couldn't get a word out without turning red with anger. Lily knew her the best anyway.

"I know that we are all feeling the loss of a great woman today. She passed away peacefully in her sleep, with a smile and after that day I know why. My Aunt has been waiting for death for a very long time. You see, she had a secret love sixty- five long years ago and now, finally, she is with him again. Aunt Hermione will always be a second mother to me and a wonderful friend to everyone who knew her. She lived her life the best she could, knowing in her heart she didn't really want to live at all. She knew remarried and she remained faithful to her secret love. I loved her dearly and I wish her peace.

She will be remembered always. Hermione helped save our world and she deserves to spend forever with the man she loved for so long and with all her heart. Goodbye Aunt Hermione."

Lily stepped down from the stand as they lowered her aunt into the ground and people cried all around her. She wasn't crying though. Her aunt was where she wanted to be, at last.

A/N: Thanks to dittzybuttercup for suggesting to write this piece with Hermione as an old woman, and meeting Severus again. I hope you all liked it.