I looked at him with my big brown eyes, pleading to him to stay.
"I would in a heartbeat, but I can't." He again looked at his watch, and made a face. "I have to go."
As he turned to leave, I grabbed his bicep. I pulled him into an embrace, memorizing the feeling. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. He still smelled like Kurt. I pulled away, so our faces were inches away. I ran my thumb under his eyes, memorizing every detail, all the while never taking my eyes off of his. As I ran my thumb over his lip he slowly disappeared, and I was left with nothing but a memory.
After a few minutes of being in shock, I sank to the ground and cried. They weren't sobs like I had done the past few days, just silent tears that expressed how I felt. Just then, my phone vibrated. I pulled it out to see it was a text.
"Where are you?" The message said. It was my mom.
I rolled my eyes. It was only eight-thirty. Sure, I should have called, but I was almost eighteen. I should be able to live my life without my mommy holding my hand. I dismissed the text. I didn't want to answer her at the moment. I would start heading home in a few minutes, so it wasn't that big a deal.
I slowly stood up and continued walking in the forest. It was pitch black, which wasn't that great, because I'm secretly scared of the dark. But I kept walking anyway, hoping a bear would attack me or something. Something to take me out of this misery we call life.
I had thought about it the last couple days. My life was nothing without Kurt to share it with. I didn't have any other plans then to follow him to New York, to see him succeed. After a few days, I dismissed the thought of suicide. I wanted to die, sure, but I didn't want my parents to go through the heart ache and embarrassment of a weak son. I wished instead, that something horrible would happen to me. I wished that something would come through my body to take me out of this horrible place.
Obviously, I still waited.
I continued walking, until something stopped me. There was a light shining up ahead. It wasn't the kind of light that came from house, or a fire. It was some sort of white, almost holy, light. It reminded me of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe where Lucy opens the wardrobe for the first time and light went streaming through the crack. Despite my fear, I walked straight towards it.
Just then, I was jolted forward. Nothing was pushing or pulling me. Not even some sort of magnetic force. It was like I was walking on moving land, like they did in Twilight for the vampires. As I neared the light, the jolting only got stronger. I tried to look away from the bright light, but I couldn't. It was as if I was being hypnotized by it. Just then everything stopped and I was on the ground. I looked around, trying to find out what happened. The forest looked the same. Nothing had changed. I looked down and gave a puzzling look.
"When did I change into Bavarian style clothing?" I asked to myself. I was indeed dressed in Lederhosen. I had on grey knee high socks with three green stripes at the top. My pants- or I should say shorts, or whatever they are- came down to just above my knees, showing just a little bit of skin. The patterns on the pants were green as well. They looked like leaves twisting together. My shirt was pink plaid, which was just horrific. Kurt had even told me himself, the go-to person about fashion, that plaid was just horrible on me. I laughed to myself as I stood up. I immediately sat back down as dizziness swept over me. I pinched my index finger and thumb to the bridge of my nose, hoping the headache that also consumed me would go away.
As I closed my eyes I heard leaves rustling. I stiffened. Just then, a slender, tall young man knelt in front of me. His eyes were green, glistening perfectly in the small light of the flashlight he held. His hair was gelled back perfectly, giving an almost 50's look to it. His outfit was similar to mine, except that he wore a white shirt. Way more flattering then my plaid.
"Are you O.K.?" He asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I- don't know." I said, being honest. Where was I where people wore old fashion German clothes?
"Ahhhh. You must be a new comer. I understand that one." He stood up and offered his hand out to me. "Here, I'll take you into town and explain everything."
I took it, grateful that I was going to learn what exactly happened just a few minutes ago.
"So, how long have you been here?"
"I honestly don't know. One moment I was walking through the woods, the next I was sitting in the dirt with a screaming head ache." I said as we walked through the woods. It all looked the same. I couldn't help but wonder if it was all just a dream, a simple misunderstanding of some kind.
"I know that feeling." He paused, and stopped walking, stepping in front of me and smiled. "Forgive my poor manners. I'm Alex."
"Blaine." I reached out my hand, as he had done and, for the first time in a while, I actually smiled at someone genuinely.
"Anyway", he continued as he started walking again. "I've been here about five years."
"I'm sorry, but what is 'here'? Where am I exactly?"
"There isn't really a name for the town. We just call it either 'the Town' or 'Amazingness'. O.K., I'll be honest, the latter I just made up now. But really there isn't a name." He paused trying to gather his thoughts again. "The Town is where everyone who is lost goes. Mainly, it's people who are grieving. Who just lost hope all together." He paused again biting his lip, as if trying to think whether he should tell me something else. "My husband died in a car crash. My life was him. I loved him with all I had. When you love someone that much, there's not much else to do when their gone. I went through the grieving stage and all, but I wanted it to end. I couldn't think of living my life without him. On the anniversary of his death, I put a pistol to my head. I planned it all out, telling my family goodbye, without them truly knowing my plans. Just as I was about to pull the trigger, something pulled me towards a bright light… and the rest is history."
I stopped in my tracks. It was amazing how much in common we had. I looked to at the ground for a long time. I only looked up when he put his hand on my arm.
"What's going on?" He asked, concern washing over his face.
"My boyfriend, Kurt", I started. I didn't want to explain it all over again. Especially to a stranger.
"Ahhh. I understand." And by the look on his face he did look like he did. "Look, I know how hard it is. You don't have to dump everything on me right this second, but when you need to talk, I'm here. Alright?"
All I could do was nod, and stare into his eyes. They were breathtaking. And the long eyelashes just gave him even more beauty. He was like an angel. It was all I could do to look away and continue walking.
"No, not yet. It's way too soon." I thought to myself.
After what seemed like hours of silence we neared bright lights and the sound of music and people shouting. I squinted my eyes to see the buildings in front of me. As we neared closer, The Town was breathtaking. Flowers of all different colors were everywhere; the ground was placed with red and brown stone, the buildings matching. The first building we came to was a saloon.
"Hey, we'll find a place for you to stay, and then we'll get a drink." I simply nodded, my mind going back to that night in the parking lot of Scandals.
"I'm sorry if I just wanted to be spontaneous and fun." I said throwing my hands in the hair. I looked away from the hurt in his eyes and put my hands on my hips, not daring to look at him. It hurt me too much. "I think I'm just going to walk home." With that I turned around, ignoring Kurt yelling my name.
As we walked downtown, all I could do was stare at the beauty of it all. I couldn't help the smile that played on my lips. We rounded a corner and stood in front of an apartment building which looked twenty stories high.
Just as we were about to walk inside, a group of men walked by us. Alex quickly pulled me inside, locking the door behind us. I didn't ask any questions until we were in his apartment.
"Why were you so quick about getting us inside? Who were those guys?"
He took a seat at the dining room table, motioning for me to do the same on the opposite side. I did so.
"There are a few things you need to know about The Town. Even though it's beautiful and breath- taking and it's meant to take away the hurt you feel, but it's actually worse than America. There are laws, but they aren't enforced. We have policemen, but they are mostly here to make sure that no one gets murdered. Lucky for us, no one has." He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck.
"So what's different? What do I need to know?" I asked. Now he was really scaring me, and all I wanted was to go home. America was already screwed up with rapes, and abortion, and debt and the works. What could be worse than that?
He looked into my eyes. They were sad and it looked like he didn't want to tell me anything. But he did.
"Like I said, laws are not enforced here. The guys that we passed. They aren't good guys. I guess you could say that they are prostitutes. But, they don't get money for what they do. In The Town, if someone asks you to, well, you know-" At this he blushed. I knew exactly what he meant. "You can't refuse. If you do, then you surely will be murdered, but the police won't take action. At least not like the kind of action they would if there was no reason behind a murder."
I was confused to say the least. Did this mean that anyone could come up to me and ask to have sex, and I would just have to give myself to that person? This was ridiculous.
"Everyone in The Town has this power over anyone. If you asked me to have… you- know- what… I wouldn't be able to refuse. You could call it magic, but it's something much more than that."
This all came so fast, my brain was turning to mush. I put my forehead in my hand.
"I have an extra bed, and an extra room. You're more than welcome to stay here as long as you like. But right now, I think you need to just go and relax."
He was right. I was exhausted from being up for days. I slowly followed Alex into the spare room and plopped myself down on the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep dreaming of only one thing.
My first time with the boy I loved so much.
So here is the Laderhosen I based Blaine's outfit on. I know this is pretty weird and messed up. Blame my dreams. Or whatever you want to blame. :D Please let me know what you think. Am I just wasting my time, or is it actually half way decent. I promise to keep writing unless more than ten people tells me this sucks a**. So please be honest. But please have constructive criticism to go along with the "this sucks a**."