a/n For Lovisa [lowi], because she's as close to perfect as anyone can ever be.

Warning! This chapter contains slash and mentions of sex. If you're uncomfortable with that, kindly don't continue reading. Thank you.


RemusSirius ;; candle


He blows the candles out with a soft whoosh of hot breath, and rolls over onto his side to allow his head to sink into the fluffy pillow that is his one extravagance. One candle stays lit, fanning light over the cramped room.

He can hear Sirius stirring beside him, and can all too easily imagine the uncomfortable look on his face, torn between staying here and fleeing. He believes – hopes, really, since Sirius is far too flighty and unpredictable – that the other boy will stay with him, since they're actually going out and for once this isn't a fling.

The breath stops in his throat when the expanse of bed beside him dents with by Sirius' weight, and the sound of bare feet padding across his carpeted floor sounds far too loud to his sensitive ears.

"Where are you going?" he asks, his voice a hoarse whisper, and he sits up and covers himself with the blankets when Sirius turns back to look at him. The dark haired boy shifts, and Remus feels worthless, cheap – like every other whore that has taken Sirius to their bed. Of course he would leave, it's what he's always done, but was it too much to ask that for once he would stay?

"You're leaving," he says, his voice a monotone with only a slight crack marring his sentence, and he tries to physically hold himself together by wrapping his arms around his thin frame. "It's Christmas, and you're leaving me like I'm just another-"his voice breaks. "Like I'm not your boyfriend, and you have to escape my room before I can force you into a relationship you don't want."

Sirius looks ashamed, and Remus makes himself look at him, amber eyes meeting orbs of swirling chaos. They stay there, Sirius swaying slightly, while Remus is a frozen statue curled up against the headboard.

"I'm sorry." Remus breaks the silence in a voice like burning coal, and Sirius seems to stand up straighter, chaos turning to relief. The other boy is too proud to apologise, Remus knows, which is why he seems to do all the apologizing in their relationship. Besides, it's Christmas, and he's supposed to forgive Sirius' past and all the flaws and habits that go with it. "Why don't we not talk about this anymore, and play Exploding Snap? I think we still have a pack left from James' visit."

Sirius smiles faintly, and walks over to sit by the foot of the bed. And though the candle burns on and the two boys continue as if the last five minutes never happened, Remus can't help look over at his lover and wonder if he'll be able to stop him the next time he starts to leave.


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