She looked at him. She could not believe that this was happening. She was having one of those mental battles and so far, her heart was winning. She hated herself for it. Every time he was near her, her heart was beat that much quicker and her olive skin would go three shades deeper. If she decided to leave it alone, it would never be the same again. They would never be friends; they would only be lovers from a distance. They would no longer be able to sit next to each other without feeling the need to hold hands. They would no longer share a joke without a nervous laugh. They would never be able to look at each other without exchange a glance of love and affection.
"Why does it have to be so hard?" Luminara said as she sighed.
"It was never supposed to be easy," Obi Wan said truthfully. They were both sitting on the bed, both still flushed from being caught by Shaak Ti. She looked at him.
"You are not helping," she said.
"Sorry," he replied.
"I can't do it. I cannot exclude you from Jon's life, I cannot live with myself knowing that he would never know you because his mother was selfish," Luminara said.
"You're not being selfish, you're trying to protect everyone," Obi Wan said.
"Why do you have to be so sweet?"
"Do you prefer me to be a junkie and fly away and leave you in the dust?" He joked.
"Stay sweet then," Luminara said.
"What the hell do we do?" She said and she flopped backwards onto the bed. "And if I ever meet young parents who thought that living was hard, I think I might just let some of my inner dark side do the talking to them."
"And I won't stop you," Obi Wan added. "Most likely because I would not be able to."
"You've got that right…anyways." The awkward shuffling began and Luminara sat up.
"Maybe we should find Jon," Obi Wan stood and gave her a hand which she took and he pulled her to her feet.
"He's with the others," she said as they walked out the door. The corridor was empty and they made their way towards Kit's room. Inside was a very flushed Shaak who was sitting on the bed, Aayla who was sitting on the floor with Barriss and talking to Jon and Kit himself, who was fiddling with a novel.
"Hey!" Barriss said as she noticed the arrivals.
"So…what are we going to do?" Kit said as he discarded the book.
"I don't understand where you are getting this 'we' from," Luminara said.
"We've been stuck together since we were four, what makes you think we're going to dump the pair of you now?" Shaak said sternly.
"Stuck…you make it sound like a bad thing," Obi Wan said with a chuckle.
"Okay, known…known is a better word," Aayla said.
"Fine, I think the only way to keep the lot of you out of our mess is to kill you, that's not going to happen," Luminara said.
"Thank god for that, that would be slightly traumatizing for the youngling," Kit said, indicating his head to Jon. The child was looking up at his parents and then his 'aunts and uncle'.
"We're in trouble aren't we." It was not a question, it was a statement. A statement that no one in the room really wanted to confirm but their silence did it for them.
"Not yet we are," Barriss said finally.
"If we get caught, we all go. Why are you all willing to risk it?" Luminara said.
"Friends don't leave friends behind. It may also have to do with the fact that despite the code, love is rare," Shaak said.
"Love?" Obi Wan and Luminara said questionly.
"Yeah, what you two have with Jon Kenduli here is truly magical," Aayla said. They both took a relieved breath in. Their minds had immediately gone elsewhere when Shaak had mentioned the 'L' word.
"Thanks," Obi Wan said as he recovered first.
"Yeah, well, I suppose the three of you are going to need as much help as you can get. Considering you are in the jedi temple surrounded by jedi every hour of the day, it is safe to assume that with more people on your side, there is less chance you are going to get caught," Kit said casually.
"You make it sound so easy, so flawless…Yoda and Windu are not fools," Luminara said.
"We know that, but what choice do you have?" Barriss said.
"Leave," Luminara said blankly.
"What?" Everyone said in unison.
"It's not worth the risk," she said.
"I realize now that I will not be able to convince you to get out of this, but I can make a decision which none of you can change," Luminara said.
"You can't leave!" Barriss said.
"How do you expect me to stay. It's not fair on any of you, especially Jon. I cannot live every day of my life hiding, lying and breaking rules that I have lived by since childhood. Thank you for trying to help, but there is no way I can do this, call me a coward for all I care," Luminara said.
"You are no coward, very few have ever tried to leave the temple, maybe they might let you go. If you tell them the truth," Obi Wan said.
"I plan on doing so," Luminara said.
"But that means I am going to get into trouble, considering that I helped cover for you," Kit said.
"So are we," Barriss, Shaak and Aayla added.
"Trouble, Yes. But at least you will not be dismissed. I don't think there is anything else that the Jedi way can teach me. I have new responsibilities, new priotise. My future no longer lies here. Ask me five years ago and maybe I would have a completely different answer but now…" Luminara looks at her child who is listening to every word she says,"…Jon is my life. I cannot protect him within these walls, he deserves a better life where his mother must risk her life everyday and he has to live not knowing if I may come home or not."
"You talk like you're going to die," Barriss said sadly.
"Times are changing. A storm is coming and this world, this world will disappear. You can feel it in the force. You can always feel this constant sadness, you can feel the future," Luminara said.
"Feel?" Jon asked.
"Yes youngling, the pain that will come," Luminara said.
"So I suppose you better go see Yoda and Windu," Kit said.
"Yes."
"We're coming with you, we're coming clean," Aayla said as she stood. Shaak, Barriss and Kit nodded in agreement.
"I go wherever you go," Obi Wan said suddenly.
"No Obi Wan, you belong here, you have to stay with Anakin," Luminara said.
"Anakin is a Knight, he can handle himself," Obi Wan said.
"You make your decision, I make mine," and he took off towards the council room.
"We better go after him," Luminara said as she held a hand out to her son and the group followed the human down the corridor.
You all have permission to beat the living day light out of me. I am so very very sorry and there is nothing I can do that will make it up to you. I have had a very hectic year. In an out of the doctors, school, doctors, school, broken computer, Australia, broken computer etc etc. I hope that I might be a little better with updates in the future. Possibly the biggest lie yet but I have updated now haven't I? It seems that the story is on a new course. Review if you would like to see Shaak, Aayla, Kit, Barriss in the future chaps or would you like to focus on Jon/Obi/Lumi?