Disclaimer-See disclaimer for disclaimer. xD
A/N- This one is more Angsty than normal. It includes references to self harm and Albus' dabbles in it, for purely educational reasons of course. This is not that happiest chapter I have written by far, it is much darker than usual, at least dark for this story.
Albus huffed, glaring at the curtains around his bed. He was back in his dormitory now, had been for a few days, but he was so frustrated. Homework, of course was one thing. With it done and out of the way, he should be able to breath easier, to relax. But he had to heal Scorpius yesterday; the blond had been harshly beaten this time. His potions and spells just weren't enough anymore. He needed something stronger. So he tried to brew something stronger than what Severus had given him. He tried and he failed. Increasing the potency made the potion too unstable, he must have done something wrong. He rolled over, grimacing as his arm rubbed the sheets. Of course he had managed to cut a gash into his arm. Al was a pro at this, although he knew better than to let any of the professors know. All he needed was word getting to the headmistress or his father. One little cut with his potions knife, and he could test healing balms and potions on his self. But he also made sure that Scorpius didn't find out. Scorpius would have a fit if he thought he was harming himself to help him. But he wasn't harming himself, Albus wasn't stupid. He also wasn't depressed. He wasn't that Hufflepuff girl who the professors watched closely, because she used to be hurt herself, because she was depressed. But he was not, he did not. A small slash on his palm or forearm, something that he could easily test. Or if he wanted to work with deep wounds, a gash on his leg or thigh. With the muggle anatomy book, he knew much more about healing and medicine than all of his year. He knew how to be safe about it. He was not a depressed teen, he just liked to experiment. Even if he was experimenting on himself. Surely there's nothing wrong with that? Experimenting makes better potions and salves. It heals, it saves. Someone has to do it. So why not me? He smirked, very much his Slytherin self, and closed his eyes, hoping to find the Potion Master that night. He quickly fell to sleep.
And arrived in a potions lab. His potions lab. Albus glanced around, looking for the potions master with a shrug. He pulled down a cauldron and opened one of the cabinets in the lab, searching for what he might need. "What, might I ask, are you doing? Did I not tell you to wait for me?" Severus snarled, stepping out of the door way and into the lab. He had just arrived to find the boy searching for ingredients for an already heating cauldron. "I am not a child!"Al snapped, turning to glare at the man. "Clearly. Watch your tone young man." He warned, frowning menacingly at the boy. "You do not work alone here, I thought I had made myself clear." Al blushed, glaring at the floor. He had that famous temper, or mixture of tempers. His father's and his mother's but mostly his mother's. The calm child was not as bad as his brother or sister, but his temper was fiery when it wanted to be. "I'm sorry sir. I just thought that I would get started." "I would prefer if you would wait for me to get here, Albus. It only takes one mistake to cause a catastrophe." Severus replied calmly, wanting his words to get through to the young man. He suddenly frowned, looking the boy, who was still in his night clothes, up and down. "What did you try to brew?" He asked sharply. "W-what? Nothing sir. Just a third year potion." Al whispered. "I do not tolerate being lied to boy." Severus snapped. The boy blushed, staring down at his feet. "Look at me, Mr. Potter." Severus ordered. Al glanced up at him and met his eyes. "Sorry sir. Just that potion that you said I could brew." He whispered. "Did you try to increase the potency?" Al blushed. "Answer me, Mr. Potter." Severus' eyebrow snapped up, dark eyes just daring the boy to lie to him. "Yes sir. But I brewed it normal first! It helped, but he will need something stronger! I'm sorry sir." Al responded, waving his arm defensively, without thinking first. Severus grabbed his wrist suddenly, and turned the boy's arm. No. No no no. He's a Slytherin! I've know very few Slytherins to...No. Get a hold of yourself Severus. Deep breath. The boy will explain, oh he better explain. It's not like I can pop in to his head of house's office and fix this. It might have been an accident. Severus frowned, examining the pale arm in front of him with expert eyes. His eyes took in pale, nearly invisible scars, crisscrossing up and down that thin arm. The gash, just below the boy's elbow but avoiding all major veins, looked fresh. It was also... Why is his wound blue? Suddenly an unlikely thought struck him. I swear, he better have a good reason for this. Severus dropped the wrist like it was hot, grabbing the other and examining an arm that looked much like the first. "Mr. Pot- Albus. Would you kindly like to tell me what happened to your arm." It wasn't a question. Al gulped, meeting the professor's eyes for just a brief moment. "It's not what you think sir." He whispered. "Oh? And what is it that I think?" Severus scowled. "It's not from a fight, sir. Nor do I harm myself." Al stared at his feet, refusing to look up at Severus, hoping against hope that the man didn't sense his half lie.
"Why is it blue?" Severus asked with a frown, watching the boy with a cautious eye. He knew that Albus was hiding something, but it was best to take it slow, to hope that the boy opened up on his own. "I created this detector balm to check if a wound was infected or not. It turns it blue if it is not. Green if it is mildly infected, and purple if it is severely infected." Albus looked up, a light in the boy's eyes. Severus concealed a chuckle, driving quickly from his mind that the boy was indeed very much like his younger self, easily excited by a new discovery. "I didn't brew it recently. I keep it on hand, for Scorpius." Al added defensively. "But of course." "Madam Poppy asked for some once, just to have in case she ever needed it. I was so pleased." The boy added, his eyes shining with pride. Severs shook his head. Of course Poppy would encourage the boy. "That does not explain the state of your arms, Albus." He frowned, watching the boy shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Oh yes, definitely hiding something. "An answer if you please, Albus." "It...it was for an experiment sir." Albus whispered, staring at his feet. Severus frozen, staring at the boy with wide eyes. He quickly masked his shock, letting only his true anger show on his face. I'm going to kill him. He's dead. Dead. "I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but it sounded like you said that it was for an experiment. A potions or healing experiment, I assume. But I believe you told me earlier that you did not harm yourself." Severus remarked coolly, calmly, even though he felt anything but calm. "I don't harm myself Professor. Not really. I don't do it for pain or pleasure, or whatever. Well...anyway. I do it so that I can test new potions or try harder spells. I wanted to be able to help him, sir. It works better if I try it on myself first." Albus shrugged, not looking up. Curse him. Gryffindor loyalty, uck. He is a SLYTHERIN. Harm is still harm. "You never harm yourself just because you could, Albus? When you were upset or angry?" Severus scowled, not having missed that quickly passed over bit. Al blushed. "Look at me, Mr. Potter." "Twice sir. When my housemates hated me and when Scorpius wasn't speaking to me." He whispered. "Mr. Potter, I do not want you experimenting on yourself. If you make a new potion or creation, or even a healing spell, it will be done here under my watchful eye. Under no circumstance are you to harm yourself, for any reason. If I suspect you are harming yourself, well I'm sure I can find a way to let your father know. Or my portrait. I can connect to my portrait, but most past headmasters choose not to. I'm sure someone will noticed your ridiculous behaviour at some point." Severus lectured, glaring at the boy. He wasn't sure if he actually could, but the boy didn't need to know that. Al gulped and nodded.
"You are rather fond of this friend of yours." Severus commented quietly. Al blushed a deep red, but nodded. "Scorpius is...a good friend sir." He whispered. "Why was he not speaking to you, if he is such a good friend?" He asked curiously. Albus was silently, staring at his feet. "You do not have to answer, if you do not wish too." Severus sighed, turning to pull down some ingredients so that they could start working. Al merely shook his head, blushing. "It was at the beginning of last year, our fourth year. I..I tried to kissed him. Our year mates found out and kept teasing him about it, so he stopped talking to me. They hated me third year, all but Scorpius, because of my idiot brother. Fourth year was almost worse, but Scorpius started talking to me around Easter again, and it was better. To think that I almost didn't make Easter!" Albus snorted, then grimaced, realizing what he had just said. Scorpius knew of course, because he had broke Albus' depression. But he had promised not to tell anyone, as long as Albus never did that again. Severus frozen, staring at the boy. "Mr..Albus. That is very serious. It is not something to joke lightly about! Did you talk to someone, anyone, about it?" "Scorpius. I talked to Scorpius." Al shrugged, turning the cauldron on low, watching as Severus set up ingredients for him to dice and glancing at the small board to read the instructions. "An adult, Albus." Severus growled. Al merely shook his head, glancing at the man. "They would not have understood sir." He shrugged. "They might have understood far more than you would think, Albus. If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me."Severus offered before he could stop himself. Why did I just offer to listen to a student? Not even one of my students! I'm dead for crying out loud! But the boy, the boy needs someone. He sighed, watching the boy dice with expertise. "Thank you, sir. But I am fine now. I just wish.."Al trailed off, starting to add to his potion. "Yes?" Severus asked, almost eagerly. Getting this boy to open up seems harder than controlling all my Slytherins. He has learned to hide his emotions at a young age. That is not always healthy for a teenage boy. He shook his head at his on folly. Teenagers often when through emotions like candy, without a backwards glance. But this one did seem different. "I promised Scorpius I would never hurt myself professor. And I keep that promise. I don't want to hurt him, and experimenting on myself wasn't really harmful. Not really. But it hurts me when I see him so battered and beaten, that I just have to help him. I love him too much to let him suffer. So yeah, I experiment. And I wish Scorpius was not afraid of what his family would think of us, I wish he was okay with being open, but he is not. I still love him, and I know he loves me, but it's hard, taking care of him when he is so fragile, to not want to save him." Al replied softly, stirring his potion counterclockwise. Severus blinked. That was not what he had expected at all. How do I respond to that? "But hurting yourself doesn't help him. What if you make a serious mistake and something happens? You can't help him then. You are not an adult yet, Albus. You are not responsible for him, even if you feel responsible. He must love you enough to trust you to help him, but sometimes you have to ask for help. For both of you, before someone gets hurt." Severus folded his arms, not liking his thoughts one bit. He reminds me of Lily. Wanting to save someone. I know how much being in love can hurt, but the boy can't save the world. He may have to help his friend by seeking help. He sighed, watching the boy. "Why is your friend always so injured?" Severus asked suddenly. "I..I really rather not talk about that Professor, if that's alright."Al replied quietly, ladling up vials on the potion. Severus' eyebrow snapped up but he gave a curt nod. "Alright. But I expect you to come to me when you do feel like speaking about it. Or go to another adult, especially if you think your friend is in danger." Al merely nodded, meeting his eyes for a moment before looking away. "I better go, Professor. I'll see you again?" Severus nodded, both a dismissal and reassurance. "Remember what I said Albus. I will know if you disobey me and you will not like the consequences." He scowled. The boy merely nodded, closing his eyes and vanishing. Severus picked up a perfect vial with a sigh. What am I going to do?