February 18, 2011
Arizona hated flying. She didn't know if it was a new thing or if she always did, but the thought of getting on the plane in an hour made her insides churn. Teddy had dropped her off at the airport with a hug and a promise to come visit in a few weeks. It didn't feel like a goodbye with Teddy, not the way it did with Callie. The brunette wanted to take her to the airport, but they knew a long goodbye would kill them both. So they just stood there holding each other for awhile until Arizona found the strength to pull away. She kissed Callie's forehead and repeated her promise to come back. The blonde shook her head trying to clear her mind. It was hard enough leaving Callie, she didn't need to replay the events of the day over and over.
Sea-Tac was busy this Friday night. The crowd suffocated her, which forced Arizona to find a less busy corner of the gate to sit. She leaned back in her chair, rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. Callie's perfume still lingered on her clothes and despite her efforts not to think about the brunette, the scent was comforting. Arizona inhaled deeply. The scent of Callie's perfume was mixed with . . . burnt toast? It must be from the food court around the corner that served an all day breakfast.
She remembered that scent. That same restaurant produced it the night she and Callie were supposed to leave for Malawi. They had stopped a few gates down from here and started yelling at each other. Arizona felt the pain of that moment as she remembered Calliope's devastated look and the way her girlfriend's voice sounded when she begged her not to leave.
Calliope. Calliope. Arizona remembered that night. She remembered. The blonde bolted upright in her chair, startling the woman next to her. She narrowed her eyes in concentration trying to keep hold of the memory before it faded away.
"If you get on that plane. If you go without me we are done. Do you hear me? We are over." The words echoed in Arizona's mind. She'd gotten on the plane. She had walked away. "We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other. We're already over." Her mind kicked in to overdrive trying to recover more memories, but there was nothing but the scene at the airport. It was enough though. She knew all of this was real, not just some story of someone else's life. The pain of that moment reminded her of how much she truly loved Callie and how hard it had been to walk away from her. Arizona grabbed her phone and dialed the brunette's number. It went straight to voice mail. She figured Callie had gone straight home after work.
She was probably lying in bed with tear stained cheeks failing to sleep like she had many nights during their baby fight. Callie had come home one night to find Arizona feigning sleep on the edge of the bed. She had crawled into bed next to her. "My cousin's baby punched her in the face. Literally. She had a black eye from a one year old. Who needs it, right? I don't need that." Arizona pictured the purple shirt Callie wore and the defeated look on her face. "Don't," she had whispered, then she kissed her as their relationship fell to pieces around them.
"Ma'am? Are you okay?"
Arizona's head snapped up to see the woman staring at her in concern. "I-I'm fine," she managed to say. "Thank you." The woman gave her one more concerned look before her eyes drifted back to her paper. Arizona grabbed her bag and snaked her way through the masses of people and out of the airport. She thought about calling Teddy to pick her up, but knew it would take too long. She had to see Callie now. A cab pulled up and she jumped in giving the driver Callie's address.
"Seattle Grace, right?" Ortho, right?
"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyes wide.
"That address is near the hospital, right?"
"Yes it is, actually."
"It is, actually. The talk. People really like you over there. They respect you and they're concerned and interested. They really like you. Some of them really like you." Arizona closed her eyes savoring the new memory. This was a happy moment. She had been waiting for this one since she first arrived at Seattle Grace. "You wanna give me some names?"
Arizona smiled. She remembered how taken she was with Callie in that moment. The brunette had been so sad and all she wanted to do was make her happy again. Callie had fought for her. They barely knew each other and Callie fought hard to convince her to give them a chance. Something swirled within Arizona's chest. Was it anger? Hurt?
"I just want you to know that I'm hurt. I am hurt and I am angry. Because I thought that we had something. I thought that we were going somewhere." Callie hadn't fought very hard this time. It didn't take much for the brunette to let her go. Arizona knew things were complicated beyond words and their situation was so unique and messy, but still she was a little hurt that Callie had let her go. "I thought- I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night."
/ / /
Callie was exhausted. Getting through her shift after Arizona left had been nearly impossible. She had come straight home and collapsed on the bed in a fit of tears. She was reminded of the way she and Arizona would lay in bed comforting each other when life through one too many curveballs at them. It amazed her how everything reminded her of Arizona, yet nothing seemed to remind Arizona of her.
After Arizona and Teddy left the hospital, Callie had been so close to chasing after them. She went so far as to grab her keys and head for the door, but she doubted it would accomplish much. There was nothing new she could say to make Arizona stay and she didn't feel like another heartbreaking airport break-up. Still, her heart was screaming at her to chase after the blonde.
If she could only sleep. With the stress of Arizona and her full OR schedule, Callie hadn't had a good night's sleep all week. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander, like she often did, to what would have happened if Arizona had safely gotten on that plane in Malawi. She'd probably show up to the apartment late at night. Well, she would have still been at Mark's apartment then. Maybe Callie would hear a knock and think it was Mark who was prone to forgetting his keys. "Okay, so picture this. I'm in Africa and everything's great and the people are so nice and the clinic is amazing and I'm doing work that actually feels important," Arizona would say. Callie figured she would have stood there in stunned silence as the blonde spoke. When she was done, Callie imagined she would have closed the door in her face. Back then, her anger would have won out against her happiness at seeing the other woman. Now though, after living through months of thinking Arizona was dead, there was no way she could imagine ever turning the blonde away.
There was a knock at the door that Callie figured was a result of her daydream, but when it sounded again, louder this time, she pulled herself out of bed to see who it was. She was shocked to see the subject of her daydream standing on the other side of the door.
"Arizona? Shouldn't you be on a plane right now?"
"I just wanted you to know that I am mad at you," the blonde answered, ignoring her question. She walked past Callie and threw her jacket over the back of the couch. The brunette walked passed her to turn on the light and took a moment to enjoy the fact that Arizona was standing in front of her.
"Mad at me? What did I do?"
"You were going to let me leave! After everything we've been through, you were just going to let me leave?"
Callie's brow furrowed in confusion. "Let you leave? I'm pretty sure I practically begged you to stay. You were the one who wanted to go to Boston."
"I hate hate hate this merger, because I hate long distance relationships. I don't believe in them. So, you can't move to Portland."
"Well, when I mentioned it this afternoon you didn't seem to mind. You were like, 'Move to Portland.'"
"I didn't know that I was allowed to mind. I didn't know if we were girlfriends. But then you said girlfriend. You called me your girlfriend. So I need to know. Am I your girlfriend?"
"That's crap, Calliope. I was looking for you to give me a reason to stay."
"How was I . . ." Callie froze. Calliope. Did Arizona just call her Calliope? "Did you just call me Calliope? You've never called me that before."
Arizona couldn't help the way the corners of her mouth pulled up. "I always call you Calliope. Actually, I'm the only one you like calling you that."
They stared at each other in an unspoken conversation and all Callie could feel was her heart pounding in her chest. "Arizona?" she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.
Arizona's smile grew wider and she nodded. In a blink, Callie closed the distance between them, crashing their lips together. The kiss was filled with the longing and pent up passion of the last few months. Arizona's hands mirrored Callie's as she reached up to grab the brunette's face and pulled her closer. "I love you so much and I can't live without you and our ten kids."
When they parted, Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and rested their foreheads together. Callie's hands remained on the blonde's face as a small sob escaped her lips. "I missed you so much."
Arizona tilted her head so their eyes could meet. "I love you," she said as her voice cracked, her own emotion overtaking her. "I've been waiting to tell you that for months."
"I love you," Callie replied. She kissed her again. It was slower this time, each taking time to revel in the moment in case this was some cruel joke the universe was playing on them until they woke up from this dream.
"How? When?" Callie asked when they broke apart again.
"At the airport. I had about fifteen minutes until my flight was going to board and then I remembered our fight before I left for Africa. I hopped in a cab and came straight here."
"What do you think finally triggered it?"
"Burnt toast," Arizona said. She laughed softly at Callie's confused look. "My gate was near where we had our fight. I smelled burnt toast from a restaurant like I did that night. It triggered that first memory. Now I get these flashes of random memories."
"So you don't remember everything?"
"Not yet," she said grabbing Callie's hand reassuringly. "But I remember I how much I love you. I remember the shooting and how it made me realize I want to have a family with you. And I remember thinking you could be the one I had waited my whole life for when I kissed you in that dirty bar bathroom."
Callie sighed in relief and smiled. "You have no idea how good it is to finally hear you say that. And for the record, I've been laying here thinking about how I should have chased after you when you left for the airport."
"Good because I couldn't imagine you giving up so easily."
The brunette's eyes drifted to Arizona's neck and she reached up to pull a silver chain from beneath her shirt. She smiled when she recognized the silver necklace. "You found it."
"I did," Arizona said, placing her hand over Callie's. "I was actually looking for it a few nights ago when you came to pick me up for our date. I knew I had seen it before and found it in an envelope in my duffel bag. There was a note that said it was the only piece of clothing they were able to salvage after the accident. I was wearing it the day it happened."
"I started wearing mine after I heard you . . . after I heard you died." Callie's voice hitched and Arizona wrapped her in a hug. The brunette wrapped her arms around Arizona's neck and welcomed the comfort she found there. They stood there for a few minutes, neither in a hurry to leave the other's embrace.
"What are you doing? You'll get the chicken pox." Arizona smiled into Callie's hair at the memory. "So, I get the chicken pox." Even when comforting the other woman, the place Arizona felt the safest was in Callie's arms. She couldn't describe how amazing it felt to be able to hold her again. When she decided to leave Africa she had no idea how Callie would react to her return and even then wondered if she would be able to do this again.
"So what do we do now?"
"Well, we have a lot to talk about," Arizona said meeting Callie's eyes. "But that can wait until morning. All I know right now is that I love you." Callie grinned as Arizona grabbed her hand and led her toward the bedroom. "So I'm going to take you to bed to show you just how much."
/ / /
A/N: Don't worry! This is not the end of the story. We've still got a couple of chapters to go. Thank you all for the support!
For those interested, I've made a fanmix of songs for this story. I put a link to the tumblr post where you can download it in my profile.