OKAY, THIS WEEK WAS WON BY TWO VOTES!

Once again, I had a THREE WAY TIE!!! GRRR!

So, I thought it unfair to ask redzercarebear AGAIN to break it. Finally, I got the review I needed to break it! But I added in Redzie's vote anyway, seeing as it wouldn't make a difference.

1: Amaya thinks on how she is expected to be strong, in the Chinese Federation, and how she wants the Black Knights to know that she feels the same pain they do. (Songfic) 5 VOTES

2: Amaya is alone in her room as they leave Japan, before they arrive in the Chinese Federation. What is she thinking? 7 VOTES

3: Suzaku thinks on his sleeping beauty, Euphemia, and the world he is determined she will awake to. 5 VOTES

Enjoy!

"We shall arrive in 20 minutes, Fujiwara-Hime." Amaya did not respond, giving only a nod, as the messenger left her room on the submarine.

She silently stared in the mirror for a moment. She was, once again, in her Black Knights Uniform. Her mask lay on the small table before her, staring dauntingly before her, as she stood in silence.

That was how it had been the last day, during their journey from Tokyo bay, around Japan, to enter the Chinese Federation. And in all that time…Amaya had pushed those thoughts from her. The questions that wanted to explode from her, the need to know exactly what had happened, where Lelouch was at that very moment…

And what she had been struggling with, was to do the most unlady-of Zero like thing possible.

She wanted to cry.

She clenched her jaw, as for not the first time in the night, she felt her cheeks flush, and something build in her throat. She clenched the table tightly, squeezing her eyes shut in anger, repeating, like a chant, to herself,

'Don't cry, don't cry, don't you dare cry!' Amaya clenched tighter as it wasn't working, as she continued, her hands shaking, pleading with herself, 'You can't cry now, the Black Knights don't need your tears, they need your leadership! They need the Lady of Zero, not a crying little girl!'

Amaya's eyes widened as she opened them, her eyes meeting the mask that masked her face, reflecting her. She lost herself in her reflection, as she recalled a time when she was with her Grandfather...

6 year old Amaya sniffed painfully as she touched the grazed skin on her arm, which stung slightly as she touched it, Amaya wincing as she clutched at her arm tighter. She had just fallen on the hard stone gravel of the garden of the Fujiwara home, and as her grandfather bent down beside her, he sighed in slight worry.

"Oh, Amaya-chan, I've told you before, you must be careful when running here..." Amaya nodded as she felt a tear run down her face, as her Grandfather took her arm, examining it.

"I know, Ojii-san." she sniffed as she wiped at her tears, which continued to fall. She felt her grandfather pause as he glanced at her.

"Come now, Amaya-chan." he smiled softly as he pulled her onto his lap. "Surely there are worse things then a graze?" Amaya nodded in agreement as she glanced at him, rubbing her eyes as she exclaimed,

"But it's sore...It hurts!" Her grandfather nodded sadly in agreement as he stated,

"I don't doubt it. But Amaya, if there is one thing you must learn here, in Japan, it is this." his eyes never left Amaya's attentive ones as he declared gently, "A Fujiwara must be strong." Amaya blinked in surprise as he continued, explaining softly,

"As a Fujiwara, you must be a symbol of strength to the Japanese. You must never let them see you waver, or they will waver too. And nothing good ever comes from that. Nothing." Amaya felt her tears slow down as her Ojii-san continued, gently putting a plaster on her cut,

"You may want to run. You may feel scared. However, it is our duty to carry these with us, and carry out our duties as Japan's protectors." Amaya continued to stare in shock at him as he stood, Amaya standing with him as he knelt down to her instead, his hand grazing her cheek as he smiled,

"And the most importint thing: A Fujiwara never cries."

However, even as she thought of this, she felt tears fall. She felt her heart clench, as though someone's fist was clenching it, squeezing it, stopping the blood flowing, stopping her breathing as she felt a sob escape herself.

'Lelouch...It's not the Lady of Zero we need, and it's not Zero I want...I want you...' she felt herself fall to her knees before the table, as she covered her face with her hands, hating herself for this.

For allowing Lelouch to go.

For not going with him.

For not be searching for him, right now.

To have to take his rightful place, if even temporarily, as the Black Knight's Leader.

And mostly...

For crying.

"L-Lelouch..." she felt herself choke out as she felt tears pool in her eyes, her teeth clenching, her eyes squeezing shut as she recalled what he had told her about crying, on the last time she saw him before he went to Japan...

"I don't want you to go." she whispered again. He smiled softly as he turned to her fully, standing before her.

"How long do you intend to cry for?" he sighed. She blinked at him, momentarily pausing.

"Your face looks terrible. It is absolutely unsuitable for a lady." he stated, as he took his decorated handkerchief out of the pocket of his jacket, reaching to wipe the tears away from her eyes.

"Amaya?"

Amaya's head snapped up as she saw Jinx enter the room, an eyebrow raised as he took in her on the floor, crying to herself. For a moment, they both stared at eachother, Amaya not even bothering to try to cover up her tears.

And then, she did the most shocking thing. She stood up.

Glancing at Jinx, she asked in an attempted calm tone,

"Are we there?" Jinx nodded slowly as he reported slowly,

"Yes...We're pulling into the harbor..." there was a pause as Amaya nodded, taking a deep breath as she straightened out her uniform, glancing at the mirror as she rubbed the tears away.

"Amaya, if you want, we can stall the meeting..." Amaya shook her head a she softly declared,

"That would be rude..." for a moment, her hand touched the front of the mask, where her eyes were reflected off, and inside, Amaya winced.

'Lelouch...Right now, I want to cry...But I know I cannot. At least, not now.' she paused in thought as she stared at the mask longer, losing herself in the reflection. 'I know, you would have wanted me to smile instead. But as Amaya, I cannot...I cannot smile fully, without...Without you...And so...Until I find you...When I find you...'

Turning swiftly, she began to make her way to the door, Jinx raising an eyebrow as he followed her, down the hallways, the unasked question hanging in the air.

"Right now," Amaya explained softly, "I, cannot exist. Amaya, does not exist." Turning slightly, her eyes met Jinx's as she added,

"What the world needs, right now, is the Lady of Zero..." she paused as she placed the mask on, completely masking her eyes, which were still red rimmed with tears.

"And the Lady of Zero, doesn't cry."

Okay, choices for next week are:

1: Amaya and Lelouch have a debate in class. The subject? What is the strongest part of a person? Lelouch represents Will, while Amaya argues pride...You decide who won. (Back due to popular demand!)

2: Amaya thinks on her mask, and wonders...Why does she wear it? What forces her to keep the mask on, when she knows she can easily reveal herself to the world...?

3: Amaya remembers a time she spent with her father, and wonders whart 'family' really means...She wonders if a person can truly have one face, or many...

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