Five Fics in Three Days Challenge #02

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Title: Soulless
Fandom: Code Geass
Characters/Pairings: Gino Weinberg/Kōzuki Kallen
Word Count: 1505
Prompt: 62-03 – Tearing it all to Pieces
Rating: Strong T
Summary: SPOILERS FOR R2! An empty heart filled with betrayal can be the worst ailment. The cure is hard to find, and even more difficult to harness.

Written for the Five Fics in Three Days challenge on the 5_Prompts community on LiveJournal.

Disclaimer: Code Geass is property of Bandai Entertainment and CLAMP.

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It was a night like almost every other night. Ever since Kallen had found herself stranded with Gino after that final battle, the two of them had taken to a very relaxed relationship. They had taken pseudonyms for their names, pretending to be other people for the sake of survival. They had stuck together, simply to keep a buddy system. Danger was everywhere. Both of them were ace pilots and had fought against the Demon Emperor. Execution was just waiting with baited breath for them.

They found an apartment, renting it with money she made working in a sports shop and he cooked in a restaurant. It wasn't the most luxurious work, but it earned them enough to live on. Kallen, under her fake name of Karen Michaels, lived with her 'boyfriend,' Lawrence 'Lance' Nils. According to their fake IDs, they were both nineteen.

Kallen hated it.

She hated living a lie. It hurt enough when she went to Ashford and pretended to be a sickly girl unable to even swim on her own. Even then, she had used her birth name. But here, in this southern coastal Britannian town, she couldn't. She was able to get by without being recognized, but it was much harder for Gino. He was famous among Britannians, especially to the single female crowd. He had been able to get along by faking a European accent and saying he was flattered they thought he looked like the Knight of Three.

Luckily, Britannian commonfolk weren't exactly the smartest people she'd ever met.

Sometimes, the stress would become too much and she needed to vent. She'd purchased a punching bag from the store she worked at and beat it until her knuckles bled, but, even then, it hurt. It hurt in ways she couldn't imagine were possible.

What had happened to everyone? Ohgi and Tamaki? Generals Tohdoh and Xingke? The rest of the Holy Swords and the Black Knights? Were they all dead? Injured? Captured? In hiding like she was? It killed her to know nothing. She watched the news constantly and, when one of her new friends questioned her fascination with it, she told them he brother had been killed in the battle, and several of their mutual friends were still M.I.A. It was one truth she had told, though she told it in a manner that made Naoto out to be Britannian.

It made her sick and, sometimes, when she came home, she lost control and cried until her eyes were dry. Gino would sit in silence, sometimes making dinner, sometimes lamenting with her, and sometimes he would hold her. She hated it, how secure she felt when he held her. She felt her problems melt away and slink into a state of emptiness when he held her. One time, she had been particularly depressed, and had pulled him to her and kissed him. They had both been feeling hurt and empty, wondering what became of their friends. In times like that, they both needed to know they weren't alone and had wound up on the couch in a rather compromising position.

She didn't care. She didn't need him to love her. Her chances were pretty slim of ever finding a man who could love the real her, anyway. So she would pull him close, kiss him hard, and demand that he take her to his room. He obliged, whether from a similar loneliness or because he wanted to have sex with her, she didn't know.

She couldn't bring herself to care, either.

When morning came, she had climbed out of bed, gotten into the shower, and left for work as usual. He hadn't said anything, either, and it wasn't until a few nights later that they had done it again.

Now, Kallen was lying awake in the large bed they had since purchased to share. They were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend to the outside world, after all. She had her back to him, lying on her side and staring blankly at the green digital numbers of her alarm clock. His form shifted behind her, his arm encircling her waist as his lips hovered over her ear. His voice breathed a whisper, saying, "Can't sleep?"

She stiffened slightly, unsure of her next move. They had sex, but that was it. They didn't do the romantic cuddling and they didn't hold each other afterwards. It was an empty act, something to relieve the stress of their situation and bring them back to earth. Slowly, she glanced sideways and hissed, "What are you doing, Gino?"

He shifted, letting her go, and she was about to settle in to go back to sleep when she felt the mattress move behind her. The springs bounced up at once, telling her he'd gotten up and she waited a minute as she listed to the sounds of him putting a pair of pants on. Slowly, she turned, holding the blankets to her chest to hide herself and cocked her head curiously. "Gino?"

He ran a hand through his tousled blond hair and sighed, pacing slightly before stopping and looking out the window. The sound of the ocean came in through the open window with a warm breeze as its companion, making the room hotter than it should have been. With one hand on his narrow hip and the other still buried in his hair, he muttered, "I can't do this anymore."

She blinked, running the thought through her mind. "Do what? Stay in hiding? You want to go out there and surrender? You know that'll only get you killed!"

"No," he said, finally turning to face her, blue eyes twinkling in the moonlight. "What we're doing. This… This empty relationship. I can't do this. All my life, I imagined meeting the right girl, settling down, and having a strong, reliable, monogamous relationship. I imagined getting married and having a bond full of love. Not… Not this emptiness."

She looked down at her lap contemplating his words. After a long moment of silence, she said, "So… What you're saying is… There's no room for me in your life?"

He walked closer, dropping his hands onto the bed to look at her at eye level and said, "No, that's not it. I just don't have room for this soulless fulfillment. I want, no, need something more. But, Kallen, I… I still want it to be with you." Pausing, he brought his hand back to his face and ran it down, muttering, "Does this make any sense?"

She blinked, slowly shaking her head. "Not really, Gino."

"Okay," He shifted, dropping down to sit on the bed so he was facing her. "I'm just going to spit it out. I love you, Kōzuki Kallen."

Her eyes went wide and she had to remind herself to breathe. "You… What?"

"I love you," he repeated. "I know, I'm tearing apart what we have and if you don't feel the same, then we probably won't ever be able to have the same bond, but I want this, Kallen. I want for us to be closer. I want to be able to love you, not just make love."

She turned slightly, averting her gaze. Leave it to a Britannian to mess everything up. But… was it really that bad? She relied on Gino more than she would like, but it could work. She wanted it to work. She hadn't realized it until that moment, but she was happy to have him care about her like that. To know he didn't just think of her as a source for sex made her happier than she should have thought was acceptable.

"K-Kallen… I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

She glanced back up; just realizing her vision of him was blurry. She was… crying? She shook her head, scooting closer to him while staying under the covers. Without her consent, her hand rose and cupped his cheek softly. Quietly, she whispered, "I'm not crying because I'm sad, Gino."

A slow but genuine smile came to his lips as he pulled her closer, leaning in and kissing her. It was a gentle and chaste kiss, but that one kiss had held so much more intimacy than any of the kisses they'd shared before. Somehow, knowing he loved her made her heart feel so much more full. It made the brush of his hair on her cheek that much more romantic. It made the love they made that night so much better than any other night.

It was an earth-shattering moment for her, one that would resound in her heart for the rest of her life.

Before that week had ended, the Black Knights had found them and made contact. They went home, but kept their bond. Tristan and the Guren had been recovered by survivors and they had searched the area for the missing pilots.

One week later, Emperor Lelouch contacted the UFN to discuss Britania's admission. She couldn't help but feel dread deep inside her at the upcoming meeting, but Gino had stood by her the whole time. She wasn't alone. She had someone who loved her. She would be okay.

Please review!

-Valk