One Tainted Secret
Chapter Three: Follow the Hooded Jacket
By: Michelle
No boy was ever so cool and aloof. Jin gave off the sense of having graduated into the next mysterious stage of life. The school halls seemed to echo his whispered name: Jin was the syllable on every girl's lips. Even the female professors spoke of his good looks, disregarding his longish oily hair.
The girls were right in choosing to love Jin, because he was the only boy who could keep his mouth shut. By nature Jin Kazama possessed a discretion. On the soccer field, or naked in the locker room, Jin never spoke to the other boys of the perfumed love letters slipped secretly into his backpack. Never mentioned the hair ribbons or chocolate chip cookies, carefully wrapped in foil, that showed up randomly in his locker.
No one knew much about the girls who went off with Jin. They were the dangly-earring type, with perfect hair and a dainty waist. Typically rich girls with their own car, they waited for him after school, chewed gum loudly and waved excitingly at the sight of him. Once they got him in their passenger seat they took him home and tried to keep him. In bed, they spoon-fed Jin desserts, wiping his mouth with the bedsheet before tossing the bowl away and melting in his arms.
These hot sessions never lasted long. He was gone by the time they woke, the dent of his head still on the pillow, a sad empty space for any girl-in-love to see. At school, he walked by them as if nothing happened.
From the classroom window Xiao watched him, out under the trees, alone and irresistible, sitting cross-legged. When he got up she noticed the light dirt stains on each buttock. Jin rose to full height, zipped up his jacket and pulled the hoodie over his head.
Her desire for him grew slowly, silent and magnificent, but she was private about it. She did not like Audrey, and she felt that it had something to do with Jin that Audrey became spiteful and inwardly competitive with girls. She did not want to become that kind of girl because of a unrequited crush.
Only at school did Xiao openly stare like a school girl. Never from across the dinner table, not with his grandfather present. Things at home were different, and she thought it odd that she rarely saw him.
It was opportune having the library in her quarter. It was easy, coming home with a load of research to do, to become absorbed with her study here. The quietude and stillness was pleasant, plus she was never disturbed. It was the only place Lucy did not come, respecting the methodology of Xiao's schoolwork.
Two hours, that was the max time Xiao could allot her head in the books. Her eyes lingered tiredly over pages of notes in front of her. She dropped her pen and stretched her fingers. She stood up, arms up stretching, arching her back like a cat.
Xiao came back from the library more tired than from practicing in the dojo. Once in her room she fell on couch next to her window. It overlooked the gardens, the fountain with the statue, a proud Heihachi, in the center. Mental weariness slowed her down to rest. She decided to nap until Lucy came to prepare her for dinner.
A phone call woke her instead of Lucy. The bedroom was dark.
"So, have you given it any thought yet?" It was Miharu.
Xiao yawned. "Thought what?"
"Halloween party? Remember?"
"I can't," Xiao said without thinking, rubbing her eye, wanting to go back to sleep.
"Why not?"
Something tapped against the window. Little light taps. Xiao thought nothing of it; perhaps the beginning of rain. She picked her sleep boogers while Miharu tried to convince her about Halloween.
"It's totally exclusive. All upperclassmen," Miharu went on.
A thud, similar to the sound of a small animal, like a bird, hitting the window, three times. Xiao held the phone away from her ear, listening. It was dark outside and hard to see out.
"Last year was a little packed. They're renting out two cabins this year."
Xiao moved over by the window. Dim lights lit the pathways of the garden and the fountain was shut off for the evening. The sun was beautifully setting and her sleepy eyes drifted off with it, remembering pleasantly how the sun would set over the mountains in China.
Then, out of nowhere, a hooded figure walked by. Across the ledge of her window. Xiao fell backwards, thrown over by absolute fright. The phone dropped, clattering loudly across the wooden floor, Miharu's blabbering voice shut off in mid sentence.
Silence and heartbeat.
Time seemed to slow as Xiao's heart raced up to her eardrums like stampedes and fanfare. It wasn't panic, but sleepiness and abrupt trauma that caused such an anxiety. The hooded figure stood facing the gardens, looking down below, looking as if to jump, she saw only the back of it. Calmly as she could she searched for the phone. It was in two pieces on the floor from where it fell, the battery popped out.
The hooded figure jumped. When she pressed her face to the window she could hardly see, but straightaway she knew.
It had to be. Fright wiped away the moment it clicked. She recognized the stride in which the figure walked. Hands in pockets. The sultry sway of the shoulders. Xiao watched, mouth gaping, as Jin walked toward the forest.
In a frenzy, Xiao stripped and jumped out of her school uniform. She pulled on a grey hoodie and matching sweatpants, her usual dojo attire. Quickly, she unlatched the window and cracked it open. Cold air seeped in and made her blink tight. It was a creepy chill. She paused for only a second. A thought about putting on an extra layer of clothing, about it being way past curfew, she thought about locking the door lest Lucy came in and found the room empty.
With unsound courageousness, she pulled the window to its max opening and thrusted herself out willingly. She teetered a second on the ledge, maybe for all the paranoia to wash away, maybe for some senses to convince her out of it, but there was something unquestionably thrilling about the mere sight of Jin's hooded jacket walking toward the forest. She had to follow it.
The forest was dark, a little foggy. The moon gave a pale shine over the trees and leaves, everything had a fake grey appeal. Far ahead Jin walked a confident stride, his fast pace made it clear he was familiar with the forest grounds. His deep even breath gave off puffs of smoke that seemed to linger long enough in the air to touch Xiao's face as she followed clandestinely from behind.
She pulled down on the strings of her hoodie, struggling with the cold and slippery with her footing over the big tree roots. She had been battling with her conscience since she left the window. The biting cold made her realize how foolish an impulse this all was. There was a question she afraid to answer: was she stalking him? She had been following him for the past twenty minutes and, it dawned on her heavily, now she was stuck with him - she had no idea how to get back - he was her only way out of the forest.
Suddenly Jin stopped. Caught off guard Xiao made a loud halt, unbalanced, her feet crunched over the leaves skittishly. His face turned slowly to the right, as if listening.
"Quit following me," his tone was that of annoyance.
Almost, her heart stopped. But, listening carefully, she heard someone else was there.
"It's me," said a soft female voice.
A girl older than she appeared from behind a tree. Her clothing suggested she was American, the style of her hair in two long brown braids, she was wearing leather boots and a plaid button up blouse over some faded out jeans.
"Julia?" Jin was perplexed.
The mere sound of another girl's name from his lips made Xiao's gut roll sideways. Her eyes sharpened grudgingly on the American girl.
"Yes, Jin," she sounded hesitant.
"You should go home," Jin said.
Julia looked like she was holding her breath. "Can we talk?" she choked, sputtering the word 'please.'
"Not now," he stated flatly.
"Let me take you back to my place," she advanced him.
"Go home," Jin turned away as if everything was settled.
"You need to talk to me, you can't ignore me - wait, come back, don't walk away like that - this isn't healthy for me!" Julia screamed at the top of her lungs for him to stop.
Jin turned around and his face did not look normal.
"What happened to your reforestation idea, Julia? That's all you talk about, big dreams, go do it. What the hell are you doing following me around? You think this is romance or something?" he was almost hollering at her.
Weeping noises. Sharp little intakes of breath. Apparently Jin hit some senses into her. Julia wept hard. Face in hands and shoulder spasms.
"Look, you wanted in on the tournament for your research and I helped you out, got you in," he looked her up and down disapprovingly. "Your mother should be proud."
"Jin, don't go," she pleaded, stepping closer to him. "Please, I need your help."
Jin went back to being expressionless. "You're distracted, Julia. Get me off your mind."
Jin walked off. Julia stood sobbing to herself. Xiao lingered behind a tree and watched a girl she did not know cry. Just five minutes ago she had the worse feelings for this Julia. Jealous feelings of choking her for having had Jin. But now, hearing her sob pathetically, some sense came to her as well. Xiao wondered how much pain Julia was feeling at this moment.
Blushing deeply, she realized she could not do this to herself. To do as Julia and Audrey and perhaps many others are doing. To pursue an unattainable boy. The craziness the affliction becomes of the girl who crushes on Jin Kazama. How mad, bad and emotionally dangerous it could be to fall for this boy, she thought.
It was getting late and Xiao managed past Julia. She went on crying for another fifteen minutes while Xiao slipped past unnoticed and unsure of where to go. She had lost Jin.
After some wandering about, there was a clearing. She did not have to walk far to see Jin kneeled before a tombstone. In an open grass field. He was in the middle of it where the moon shined brightly upon a white grave. After some time, he brought his head down and touched his lips to it.
Engraved beautifully on the marble stone was the following:
Mother and Angel, Kazama Jun