WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS ABUSE.

Author's Note : This chapter began'ss to tell more about Bella's past. You Will Get to understand more of what her thought's are. Enjoy this chapter... And Review.

Here's Some More Bella..For you ; And Another Character come's in the picture.

Our biggest fears are sometimes just fearing our worst memories, might happen agian.

-Ariebby70

BOV

I woke up and I was on my bed. I can't for the life of me remember when I got myself out of my car. I started Stretching and I could feel a cramp in my neck. I flinched and stopped at once.

"You know, it's not safe to sleep in your car. Especially when your car doors are unlocked."

I looked up and there stood Jasper.

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "When did you get back in town?" I asked looking back up to see his facial expression.

He had left work to handle some business that he couldn't tell me what about yet. He watched my with a curious look on his face.

"Last night …when I pulled in my parking spot I found sleeping beautify in her car passed out." He said his southern drawl coming out. We looked at each other for a long time. I could tell he was waiting for me to explain, but I didn't want to.

I couldn't tell him how scared I was to do something with a man on my own terms. I was terrified to. It was almost like I could only flirt, tease, touch, and be touched in return at Twilight.

Because I was at work, it was work.

It was my job.

If I wanted to get paid I had to do those things.

I was Mistress Marie, I could handle anything.

But when it came to just plain Bella Swan, I freaked out when some one would even mention anything about sex or touching any part of my body. When I was Bella , I felt Lost.

I felt and new I was sexy at Twilight. Cause that's what and how it's supposed to be. I have to have confidence. I had to believe that I was Mistress Marie. That I was above and in charge.

But out the club I control nothing, it terrified me. I was nothing.

I just wanted to be brave in and out of twilight. I could throw myself to the wolves at twilight and not bat an eyelash. But if anything even a little scare's me I have a mental break down.

If anyone looks at me longer than three second's. I'd freak out.

I was in control over almost everyone at twilight. I had the upper hand…the power.

But when I am Bella, I am easily controlled. I am nothing.

I just didn't want to be scared anymore. I didn't want to fear for my life anytime a man when look at me for more than five seconds at Wal-Mart.

Could I even really trust him with knowing how scared I was. He could have always been lying to me waiting for my guard to be put down.

Just like ….

As if he could here my thoughts he spoke again.

"Bella, how long have I known you?" Worry and hurt was written all over his face.

I looked down at my hands again "nine year's." I instantly felt bad for my earlier thoughts of him. "An in those years how many time's have I hurt you?"

I kept my eyes on my hands. "None. You've only helped… I'm sorry Jasper. I just can't tell you right now okay. I promise I will... but not now."

He looked at me with hurt still on his face but nodded and slowly walked to my bedroom door to leave. "I'll be in my room." He said not looking back at me and shutting my door behind him.

I sighed and lay back on my bed feeling bad. I'm nothing. I had met jasper when I was fifteen years old. He lived right next door from me.

I remember looking out side my window and seeing him laugh and play video games with his friend's. His room was on the side of his house. Mine was also so our rooms faced each other. He never really closed his blinds so I would always open mine and watch him laugh and have fun.

I hadn't laughed in so long it was special to me to see some one having so much fun. As days went by that was the high light of my day watching him.

The strange thing is I never thought of him in a way other than a friend.

I just enjoyed knowing that some ones life was filed with happiness and laughter. I had tried so many times to talk to him and become his friend when he would be playing out side when I would be sitting on the porch.

But I was terrified.

He didn't want a friend like me. I was broken. Nothing.

I would always talk myself down. T

hen one night he forgot to close his blinds so I peeked through mine and watched him laugh and play video game's, by himself just having fun.

That's when a giant man who I had known to be his dad came in the room. He was at least 7 foot and he was built big. He had blond dirty hair, darker than jaspers.

His father looked at jasper with so much rage and hate.

He looked so different man than I had met.

His father walks to japer and punches him in his face. I could here myself breathe in air scared for my new unknown friend. Jasper falls to the floor.

But I guess that wasn't enough. His father picks him up by his shirt collar and throws him against the wall. Then continues to punch him with so much force all over his body.

I shut my eyes tight as the tears came.

I tried to make the scence before me go away. I didn't want to see this.

I wanted him to be happy I wanted him to have a good life.

When I open my eyes the strange happy boy who I always admired was laying on his bed. I watch him as he sit's up.

His eye is getting swollen and his face is bloody. He spits out blood, and I watch him as he slowly leaves out his room.

I wait and wait for him to come back; when I finally see him reappear he has a wash cloth and begins to wipe the blood from his face. After almost all the blood is gone.

I see him exhale and sit back down and play the video game.

As if nothing had just occurred. As if it was an everyday thing.

That's how I knew this wasn't the first time this had happened to him. He had already expected that this was his fate. He just sat there and took it. I couldn't even feel angry with him.

Because I was doing the same thing. That's when I decided I was going to talk to him.

I look in the mirror "Bella, you can do this. Just go talk to him. He won't hurt you. He wont hurt you."

I felt like I was trying to reassure my self.

Ten minutes latter I walked outside I checked a saw that his dads car wasn't in the drive way. And Heidi and Marcus hadn't been home in days.

There he sat on his porch doing something with his phone. I walked slowly ever so slowly to his porch. He looked up when he heard my step on his porch.

His face was different shades of purple.

I looked down. I didn't say anything as I walked and sat on the bench next to him. When I sat down I finally spoke. "I'm Bella. I live next door. Do you remember me?"

He was looking at me but I still didn't look away from my hands. "I know, I have seen you around, And yes." We sat there for a moment in silence. That's when I finally decided to just ask.

"What happened to your face?"

In the Conner of my eye I could see him look down as he answered "I got into a fight at the park. These guys jumped me."

Sounds so rehearsed I thought to myself. We sat there in silence for a while. I couldn't help but trust this boy. I wanted him to trust me too. So before I could stop myself I began to talk.

" My adopted mother Heidi her boyfriend… he hits her." He looked at me then. So I continued "They both do drugs. She does it more than him. So when he comes over and they do drugs.

She passes out sometimes and… he always… come's I-I-I-n-n m-y-y r-o-o-o-o-m-m-m…. And he's to-u-u-u-c-c-h-h-s-s me and he make's me…touch him."

I didn't look up I could fill his eye's burning a whole into my face. I couldn't tell him yet what else he make's me do.

But I saw in his eyes that he understood.

He knew exactly what I was saying.

The tears began to prick my eyes and looked up at his face. His faced had sorrow, anger, and pain all over it "I...Can't...Why…I'm sorry". It went silent for a while then.

Then I finally spoke again. "I saw what your dad did. After words you started playing the game, like it hadn't even happened. You have been giving me some hope. Hope that maybe I'll be okay."

To my surprise he let out a sob.

He pulled me to his chest and hugged me tight.

"I'll be okay. I'm going to take care of you from now on. We will get through this together. We were brought together for a reason. We found eachother for a reason. If you ever need me. I'll be here…anytime. Anywhere." Jasper said kissing my head like my mother used to do. I nodded and cried also, I knew Jasper meant what he said. Some how I already Loved him. I loved him because he was so stronge. I loved him because I knew I could Trust him. I loved him cause he was Jasper. I had found something that I hoped I could keep. I found something that I hoped Wouldnt hurt me. Wouldnt leave me.

That was the day I gained a brother.

Jasper was only two years older than me, but he always seemed so older. So educated. So calm.

I sighed and got out of bed. I knew not telling jasper would hurt him. But he had to know I had to deal with some stuff on my own. How would I deal when he found love?

I needed to practice being on my own now. Jasper was a catch; some girl will snatch him up soon. I just knew it. Jasper was tall and lean. He wasn't big and buff but he wasn't to skinny. He had dark blond shaggy hair, with bright blue eyes. He had the Texas accent and he played the guitar!

He thought he wasn't anything special, he was so clueless. I didn't want to stand in his way, when he found Mrs. Right. I walked slowly to the door that leads to the hallway. Jasper's door was shut so I knocked softly. "Come in" I heard him say quietly. I hesitantly opened the door and looked around his room.

I spotted him on the floor at the foot of his bed, his guitar in his lap. I walked slowly and sat down next to him. Time passed and we just sat there, waiting for the other to talk.

Sick of the silence after a while I spoke "I'm scared." I said looking at him and he looked back at me. "I'm scared because, I feel like I'm two different people. I feel so lost Jasper, it scare's me. I'm scared because I feel like my past is just lurking in the shadows. Waiting for me to let my guard down."

I looked down at my hands once again they were shaking and the tears start to fall.

"I 'm terrified cause I feel like the tease and the whore and the slut, they used to call me. I feel like that the pain that consumes my mind, body and soul. Is because of myself… maybe if I would have just…."

I couldn't finish though.

"Are you kidding me? None of what those sick fucks did to you is your fault. You did nothing wrong."

I looked up at his face. It held disgust and anger.

"How could you call yourself a whore? Bella, you're a virgin! Last time I checked whores were far from virgins." I shook my head and looked back down.

"I'm not a virgin! Stop always saying that. I haven't been a fucking virgin since I was ten! TEN! Fucking Marcus took away my choice, he took away my innocence he took away my happiness. My childhood, my purity. He took it all, he took it…Jasper….he…I… was… only …"

I sobbed and Jasper wrapped his arms around me.

"Shhhh… none of what happened to you is your fault. You are a virgin Bella, you didn't choose to do anything so as fare as anyone is concern. You are one. You aren't a whore. You are Bella. You're my little sister. I'm your big brother… I will protect you from everything. Nothing will hurt you again. I promise."

I nodded my head against his chest. We sat there while I cried and he cried. While I let the memories play through my head.

Heidi had to work all day so Marcus Heidi's new boyfriend volunteered to watch me.

When he told me he would be watching me too thoughts passed in my head. One that he was trying to get on her good side by watching me.

Two that I hoped today would be fun. Marcus was at least thirty-one but Heidi was almost forty. As long as I stayed with her she never brought a guy older than her or her age around.

I had already been living with her for six years. She was like a mother to me, she was nice, cooked for me, helped me with homework. So anytime she brought a dude home. I would be nice; I wanted her to find her true love, like on the movies. I didn't want her to end up alone because of me.

Marcus and I had just gotten back home.

"Thanks so much, for taking me to go get ice cream and taking me to see the lion king play! I loved it, did you see the way the lions looked!"

I said jumping up and down still excited.

He laughed and nodded "I'm glade you enjoyed it." I nodded my head really fast. "I did. It was so cool."

He laughed again "well, I want to show you something else…"

I looked up at him surprised. "Really! What is it? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me."

I said jumping up and down once again. He laughed again and said "wait here."

I nodded and sat down on the couch as he climbed the stairs. He was gone for about ten minutes before he returned.

"Okay, follow me. It's in your room."

I walked behind him and followed him into my room. He stopped and waited for me to walk in first so I did. I sat on my bed and looked back to see what he was doing.

Why was he locking my door?

I thought to myself. Fear hit me then. I shook it off, and made up an excuse to why he maybe wanted it locked. Maybe, he thinks it locks by it self like the front door. So he turned it to unlock it.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as he told me to sit up and look at the TV. I did and he smiled and I waiting for him to turn on the movie. He looked at me "Are you sure you want to watch this movie. I don't know if you are ready for it." He said teasing me.

I rolled my eye's "I just turned ten I'm a big girl now. I'm a double digit age number." I said proudly.

He smiled a weird smile at me and pressed play. I saw him watching me in the corner of my eyes but I watched the credits of the movie and then there was a women talking.

She was wearing what looked like nothing at all. I didn't understand why Marcus wanted me to watch this movie of this almost naked lady talking about her self.

That's when two men came out of no wear.

One man roughly picked her up and I knew were the movie was going. I looked away from the TV.

"Marcus, turn it off. This is a bad movie."I said looking at my wall.

I felt Marcus pull my face with his ruff hand. He turned my head towards the TV. "Isabella, you said you were a big girl. See what that girl is doing."

He said softly, while his hand griped my face. I couldn't get out of his hold.

"Well that's what big girl's do." He said pushing me down on the bed. I shook my head tears spilling

"I didn't mean that… I meant…" but it was too late. His hand came down on my mouth. While his other hand fisted at my clothes...

There was a crack of thunder and I shot up from the bed.

I couldn't remember falling asleep or jasper caring me to my room. I thought about the day over and over again. When finally I grabbed the small piece of paper and my cell phone.

I dialed the number…. "Hello." A deep smooth voice said. "Edward? It's Bella."

I heard him sigh of relief. "I didn't think you would call."

I looked around my room, and instantly felt better. This man had some type of power over me. "I didn't think I was either." It went quite for a second "I'm glade you did." I smiled slightly. "I am too."

"What are you doing tomorrow."

I thought about it for a second. Tomorrow was Sunday. "Nothing really, laundry." I "Well when you get done would you like to do something …together?"

Could I handle that, being out to dinner or something with a man I didn't know? Could Bella do that?

He must have taken my silence as a no.

"I'm sorry maybe that wasn't the best thing to ask." I shook my head and learned how to use my voice.

"No… I mean. I would like to go out."

I said fast. "I mean like what did you have in mind." I heard him release a breath. "Well I was thinking we could go dinner." I nodded my head. "Sure that's fine. When do you want to go?"

"Umm, is seven okay with you?" I nodded my head "That's fine." It went silent again.

"So wear do you live so I can pick you up." Fear hit me then. Could I trust him with my address? "How about you text me tomorrow when you know were you want us to go. And I'll meet you there." I could tell he was taken back on that.

"That cool too, but Bella, My mother's calling me, and if I don't answer she just keeps calling back. So can I call you back tomorrow or latter."

I smiled slight because he sounded annoyed when he said his mother. "Umm, yeah sure." I said stupidly. "Great, talk to you latter beautiful." Then the line went dead.

I lay back on my bed a goofy smile on my face while I looked at the ceiling. That's when I noticed that it was still storming in this god forsaken town of Forks.

I jumped when a loud crackle sound sounded so close. I rushed out of my room and down the hall. I opened the door and tiptoed in. I slid under the covers on the opposite side of Jasper's body, he was sleep.

His face was facing me. "Jasper." I whispered loudly. "Huhh." He said still half sleep. "I met a boy." I said lying on the pillow. "I met a girl."

He said quietly. My eyebrow's shot up. He met a girl! Why didn't he tell me? "What's her name?" I asked but he didn't answer. "Jasper." He still didn't answer and I figured he had fallen fully back into sleep. I did something I hadn't done for a while.

I prayed. I prayed for my fears to go away. I prayed for Jasper. I prayed that we could find happiness in love in other people. I prayed for normalcy. I prayed because I was Lost, and I wanted to be found.

I didn't know for sure if some one heard me. But it couldn't hurt to just try it. I rolled over onto my stomach and fell back asleep.

Mystery Point of View

"All right number 009383, Come on and get your things."

The officer said to me looking at me. I nodded as I grabbed stuff I hadn't seen in years. I was finally free after seventeen years of being in jail.

I was free.

I knew that I had missed so much; I knew that I had so much to be sorry for. But I couldn't think like that right now. I just had to get to Isabella. I had to get back to her. I needed to tell her the truth. I needed to see how she has grown.

I needed to find her….

A/N:

Hi , You guy's. So sorry I'm a day late. I was really busy… but that's no excuses. Thank you for the people who keep reviewing. You're the reason I Continue.

But Who Thinks they know who the () is? Any guesses? For those of you who are wondering what all happened in her past exactly she will soon tell it all. This story will have lemons. But Bella has to go through a lot before she can trust anyone with her body again.\

She's never really gotten the help she needs after something like that. Well Hope you liked it, I Will see you Saturday…Maybe sooner. Until then REVIEW. ( ;