Author's Notes: I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to review and/or add me to their story alerts! It makes my day to know that people out there like what I have written. Huge THANK YOU's to the few people who Favorited this story or me! Always makes me happy!
I took a few liberties with the Horizon scene. I had to make it fit into my idea LOL Anyway hope it worked out... Although I'm still pissed that Kaidan walks away in the game and you can't find him again later. I seriously can't wait for ME3 so I can have some Kaidan time! YAY! Anyway... Here's chapter 2! Enjoy!
Chapter 2
Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko sat working tirelessly on his terminal trying to reprogram the GAURDIAN laser turret. It seemed that no matter how many times he reprogramed, recalibrated, or even rebuilt the stupid things, something always seemed to malfunction and take him back to the beginning. He had been stationed on the colony of Horizon for five months, twice as long as any other colony he had been to, and was still no further along than his first week. This really was hell. Kaidan had his suspicions that the turrets were being sabotaged, but quickly dismissed that idea. The colonists hated him being there thus they wanted him to finish his job and get out, that was the only reason they helped him at all.
He gave a heavy sigh as he took notice of the time, 0430. He'd spent all night working on his terminal, again. He'd lost track of how many times he had done that during his stay on Horizon. He stood from his chair and stretched his aching muscles. Well no sense in going to bed, Lilith will be here about a half hour anyway. Might as well watch the news and see if there's anything going on in the galaxy. Kaidan thought to himself as he turned on his vidscreen.
There was a report about the Destiny Ascension returning from its two year victory cruise around the galaxy. Must be nice to take two years to celebrate a victory, while the team responsible for the victory couldn't even get the full two weeks of shore leave we had been promised. Kaidan thought bitterly.
"In other news today, Khalisah al-Jilani attempted to land an interview with the rumored dead spectre, Commander Alexis Shepard. Shepard was believed dead, when the Normandy was destroyed over two years ago. Commander Shepard held her own against al-Jilani's barrage of questions, bull rushing the reporter and preventing a repeat of her interview from two years ago. When asked about Shepard's disappearance both Council officials and Alliance Brass state that they 'are looking into the matter'."
Kaidan froze as an image of a woman he knew to be dead, filled the screen. That can't be… She was… I know she was… "No!" Kaidan stared at the image as he paused the news vid. The woman was a convincing look alike. She had the same sky blue eyes, a rarity nowadays. Golden blonde hair, although she wore it too short; Alexis preferred her long hair and always wore it to her mid-back. But there was something different about this woman… What was it? Kaidan continued to stare at the screen musing about what it was that was different. "The scar!" He finally gasped.
Alexis' trademark scar was missing. She had received the scar during the Blitz when a slaver's blade caught her by surprise, slashing down her face from her eyebrow and down her cheek at a slight angle, luckily missing her eye. Kaidan had traced the scar with his fingers and kisses more once as he and Alexis had laid together in the still of night.
Kaidan stood from his chair and began pacing his room as he growled in frustration. He had been hearing rumors of Shepard sightings for a couple of months. Most of the rumors stated that she was running with Cerberus now, but his Shepard would never ever work with terrorists. What if they cloned her?... That would explain the lack of scar. Why would they clone her though?... Because if they had Commander Shepard working for them, more people would join up with them… Or could they have found a really convincing look like they have dressed up as her?... Yeah, I like that idea more than cloning. That's it; they have someone they dressed up just like Alexis.
Kaidan nodded with satisfaction was his own theory. His hatred for Cerberus grew at the thought of them using Alexis's name and likeness for their own personal gains. She had been Alliance through and through. If he ever got his hands on their leader… heaven help the man.
Kaidan paused in his own thoughts… heaven… Heaven made him think of Alexis. He hadn't felt her presence in over year and a half. Not since that day in the hospital…
He swallowed against the lump forming in his throat. He often wondered if he was still making her proud, and if maybe she had found peace by helping him deal with his pain.
Kaidan still missed her, but he was at least functioning. He'd even allowed himself a couple of dates on the Citadel. Rachel was a sweet woman, and for a few hours he didn't think about Alexis, but after a couple of dates Rachel wanted to go further. He'd left her at her on the doorstep to her apartment that night, with an apology and a farewell. There was no chance for a relationship with her, if she couldn't respect the fact that he was still healing.
"Commander?" a female voice called from the doorway. Kaidan turned to see Lilith standing there with a large tray of food. She did that every morning, at least there was one friendly person on this colony.
"Morning Lilith." Kaidan nodded toward her.
"She's the one huh?" Lilith motioned toward the frozen vid on the screen. Kaidan hadn't realized he's left Shepard's image up. "She's the one you can't get over." That wasn't a question, Kaidan realized.
"I uh… She…. She was my CO on the Normandy. Commander Shepard." Kaidan stuttered. Lilith quirked an eyebrow at him as she set the tray down on the small table. "She died."
"So I've heard." Lilith nodded. "But apparently she didn't."
"I think it's a stunt." Kaidan shook his head. "Shepard was spaced when the Normandy exploded. She died."
"So you said before." Lilith smiled at him. "How long were you together?"
"I served with her for just over a year…"
"You know what I meant." Lilith placed her hands on her hips. "How long were you together?"
"I… we… uh… Regulations state that we could not be together, even if we had wanted to be, you know, fraternization."
"Commander, I'm not Alliance and I don't care about your rules and regulations. You can admit the truth here; no one is going to court martial you. Besides, if she really died then they have nothing on you. I've seen you staring at someone's holo, I'm sure it was of her, I can see the pain of loss in your eyes." Kaidan just stared at the young woman. "Did you love her?"
"With all my heart and soul." Kaidan finally nodded. "I can't seem to get her out of my system. I would have married her if she hadn't been killed."
"I very sorry Commander. These rumors of her survival must be very hard for you."
"They are. None of this makes any sense to me; Alexis wouldn't have left me behind to work for Cerberus. She loved me just as much. Plus, she wouldn't work for Cerberus at all."
"You should eat Commander, we've got a long day ahead of us." Lilith said after a few moments of silence.
"Thank you Lilith. It feels good to finally admit my feelings for Alexis out loud."
"You're welcome Commander." Lilith grinned. "It helps you to heal if you can admit your feelings. That's probably why you can't get her out of your system; you're still trying to keep it all a secret, meaning that you can't mourn her properly."
"That's very insightful." Kaidan smiled back at her. "Please tell me that there's coffee on this tray."
"Another all-nighter Commander?" Lilith chuckled.
"I just don't understand it. I've recalibrated, reprogramed, and rebuilt those gun towers a dozen times over, and still they're not working right.
"We'll figure it out Commander." Lilith reassured him as he sat down in front of the tray of food.
"You know, sometimes I still look around for Alexis when someone calls me 'Commander'. I'd been a lieutenant for so long, that 'commander' will always be someone else's title." Kaidan chuckled as he picked up his cup of hot coffee.
"I can imagine that." Lilith nodded. "Would you mind if I checked my inbox on your terminal, it's so much faster than mine."
"Go ahead." Kaidan nodded as he took a sip of coffee.
Lilith sat down at his desk in front of the terminal. "Hmm. That's interesting." Lilith said after a few moments.
"What's interesting?" Kaidan asked as he walked over to her, his breakfast forgotten on the table.
"It says there's no connection to the extranet." Lilith pointed out.
"That's impossible, I was just watching the news." Kaidan shook his head.
"I've been here for almost ten minutes Commander, and no telling how long you were pacing your quarters before I got here. It could have gone down in that time."
"I'll go check the comm tower." Kaidan sighed before downing the last few swallows of coffee. "I'm gonna need a lot of coffee today."
XXXXXXXXXX
Kaidan sank back against the cool metal of the prefab building that he was hunkered down by, clutching his pistol to his chest. The attack came out of nowhere and there had been no chance to send off a distress signal. He was sure that Horizon was as good as gone; he could only hope that he wouldn't be found, so he could report back to Anderson. Maybe with his report they can stop any future attacks on other colonies.
He had been surprised when he'd managed to build up his barrier enough to break through the stasis he'd been caught in. He was exhausted and weak due to lack of food and overuse of his biotics trying to break free. He'd barely managed to drag himself into cover behind some crates before collapsing. He knew there wasn't anything he could do against those creatures in his current state and his grip on the pistol grew tighter. He hated being helpless.
Very slowly Kaidan poked his head out of cover, checking for hostiles. Luckily there was none, but sadly there weren't any friendlies either. He hadn't been able to see behind him after being stuck in that stasis. He could only hope that the colonists managed to make it to the safe houses before they too had been stuck in the stasis, Lilith especially.
He sank back into hiding and rested against the building once again. He scolded himself; he should have known something was going to happen when the communications went down. He should have seen the attack coming.
The sound of distant gunfire drew Kaidan out of his musing. The colonists must be fighting back! If only I could have gotten those turrets online…Wait! That's not guns! That's my GAURDIANS! Who fixed those?
Kaidan forced himself to his feet and struggled toward the sound of the firefight. He still felt weak, but the small rest he took in hiding helped. At least he could stand and walk... well mostly.
It was then that Kaidan saw the ship. His eyes grew wide as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He had seen that ship before… Alchera!
He called on all his inner strength and ran as fast as his rubbery legs could move, toward the courtyard the turrets were located in, just as the ship took off. "No!" He cried out in frustration. "No! No! NO!"
He reached the clearing in time to see Delan yelling at a small group. The first was a tall dark haired woman with icy blue eyes. A turrian stood just a few feet beside her, but not just any turrian… "Garrus!" Kaidan gasped. His eyes began searching the area frantically for her.
Alexis stood six feet away from Garrus, glaring at Delan as he continued to yell at her. "I did everything I could." She said in an amazingly calm voice.
"More than most, Shepard." Garrus reassured her. Kaidan walked out into the open, without a second thought, his eyes firmly locked onto Shepard.
"Shepard? I know that name; you're some big hero or something..." Delan sneered.
"Commander Shepard, Savior of the Citadel, first human spectre." Kaidan noticed Alexis' eyes widen in surprise momentarily before she effectively slipped her 'commander' mask back into place. "You're in the presence of a legend Delan, and a ghost."
"Figures, all the good people we lost and you get left behind. Screw this, I'm done with you Alliance types." Delan shook his head and walked off, but Kaidan barely registered anything Delan was saying. He was preoccupied with studying the formerly dead spectre in front of him.
Gingerly he took a few steps toward her. She mimicked his careful steps until they were standing directly in front of each other. She stood like his Alexis, she looked like his Alexis. But she couldn't be his Alexis, she was dead and he knew that. Thoughts of the peaceful meadow penetrated his mind.
"It's good to see you Kaidan." She said after a few moments of awkward silence.
Kaidan shook his head slightly, snapping out of his silent musings. She gave him her half smile, half smirk look that Kaidan had loved so much. He thoughtlessly took the last steps toward her and took her into his arms. Her familiar scent filled his nostrils. "You were dead." He whispered quietly.
"So were you." She whispered back. Kaidan knew at that moment that this was his Alexis. Somehow she was back. "We've both been brought back Kaidan."
"I've missed you so much." Kaidan hiccupped trying to hold back the tears. Slowly his pulled back enough to crush his lips to hers. He savored her sweet taste, so familiar, so sweet, so… Shepard.
As they broke the kiss Alexis leaned forward to rest her forehead against his. "I've missed you too Kaidan, so much."
Kaidan sighed contentedly, Alexis was in his arms alive and well. He dared a glance toward Garrus. The brunette had moved almost directly next to him. Kaidan's eyes widened as he recognized the logo on her uniform, if that's what you could call her catsuit anyway.
Kaidan pulled away from Alexis suddenly and quickly, as if she had stabbed him in the back. Alexis stared at him, hurt and confusion shone brightly in her blue eyes. "Kaidan?"
"Cerberus, Shepard?" Kaidan growled. "Really?"
"Let me explain." Alexis started.
"You left me, for Cerberus! Dammit Shepard! What happened to 'always be here'?"
"It wasn't my choice Kaidan!" She wouldn't admit it, but Kaidan suddenly calling her 'Shepard' rather than 'Alexis' stung.
"How long have you been back? You haven't been with me in nineteen months!" Kaidan took another step backwards.
"Nineteen? Shepard died almost twenty-five months ago." Garrus cut in. Alexis glanced back at the turrian, silently telling him to shut-up.
"Answer me Shepard!" Kaidan resisted the urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you come for me?"
"I've been on a Cerberus operating table most of the time Kaidan! A little hard to drop you line when I wasn't even conscious!" Alexis seethed.
"That's how you want to play this?" Kaidan raised a dark eyebrow.
"I'm not playing Kaidan!" She snapped.
"I can't believe all the rumors were true, all the reports…"
"Reports? You mean you already knew?" Garrus cut in once again. Both Kaidan and Alexis seemed ignore him as they stared at each other.
"I'd heard you were alive, that you had faked your own death to join Cerberus. But I didn't believe them, because I knew better. I knew you were somewhere peaceful and you were happy. I knew you were waiting on the meadow. That thought has kept me going for nineteen months, even after I couldn't feel you around me anymore."
"I didn't choose this Kaidan! I wanted to stay on that meadow! If I had had a say in any of this, I would still be there waiting for you!"
"I joined you once Alexis!" Kaidan shouted angrily, his face growing red. "You let me be sent back! You said I couldn't be with you!"
"It wasn't your time then Kaidan! Believe me when I say that it was so hard letting you go, again."
"Then why didn't you find me again?" He asked quietly.
"I tried," She whispered. "You're assignment was classified. I had no idea where to even start."
"That wouldn't have stopped you if you really wanted to find me." Kaidan shook his head.
"I hadn't stopped looking for you, then I was told you were here. I came as fast as I could." Alexis looked up at him, unshed tears pooling in the corners. "When I thought the collectors got you…"
"Dammit!" Kaidan sighed. "You know I loved you Alexis. I had loved you with every ounce of my being."
"I know." Alexis nodded. Her heart felt like it was shattering as she realized he was speaking in past tense. "I still love you."
Kaidan remained silent for a long while, he finally let out a sharp breath. "I've got to report to the citadel."
Panic rose in Alexis' gut as she watched Kaidan turn away from her. She wanted to call out to him, make him stay, hold her again, but words failed her. "Don't go Kaidan, I could use a good man like you on my team. It'll be just like old times." She said lamely, silently kicking herself for it.
Kaidan looked back at her, her sky blue eyes filled with hope as a single tear rolled down her cheek. He had the sudden urge to wipe it away and hold her close to him again. She was obviously not over him, and if he was truthful, he was not over her either. His eyes scanned to the offending logo on the brunette once again. Cerberus… he couldn't, wouldn't work for them. Not even for Alexis.
"No it won't. I'm an Alliance soldier, like you used to be." He regretted it the moment he said it as the hope in her eyes fell. She looked crushed and broken standing there. It was killing him to walk away from her, again, but he just couldn't handle Cerberus. "Be careful out there Lex." He added softly, looking away and then continued on his way, before he lost his control and ran back to her. I still love you too. He thought to himself, wishing that somehow she could telepathically connect to him.
"Good-bye Kaidan." Alexis whispered into the empty air. "I'll be waiting for you, always."