Dimmi ti amo mi...

Summary: Feliciano Vargas has always desired to be seen as more to his brother. After entering careers in the critical fashion industry; fame, greed and lust attempt to break them apart- or even bring them closer.

Chapter rating: Pg-13, brothers not being so much of brothers.

"And then- um… Then the director guy, he said I could keep the shoes and the jacket! And Lovi got to keep his too!"

"It was just the boots… You got to keep the jacket…" Lovino spitefully muttered out, arms crossed as he looked out the window, the rain thrashing against the window.

"You said you didn't like it though?" Feliciano stated, tilting his head over to his brother, genuinely confused by what he was saying.

Lovino didn't even turn his head, his lip twitching irregularly. Oh how fuming mad he was… This was not how things were supposed to work out. The director was supposed to be demanding, yelling and shouting at little Feliciano, leaving him a crying mess, just as Lovino had been during his first job. He was supposed to be sobbing, wishing to never return to the studio, never wanting to leave the house, maybe even hating Lovino a little bit for bringing this type of stress into his life…

But no.

That was the absolute opposite of what had happened. The camera loved him, it reached for him, grasped onto his smile, continued to snap and flash even after all the shots had been taken. Seemed the director wanted a larger selection of photo's, 3 different advertisements instead of the measly one featuring Lovino. Truth be told, even after a few takes, Feliciano was able to bring out a smile or two in his brother, creating a very enthusiastic director, but as soon as the shots ended, and Lovino could see just how much Feliciano was already preferred- he bit his tongue, along with all the harsh and ill-tempered comments he so wanted to lash out, maybe scream.

"Well, I hope you boys had fun. Though, don't get too excited Feli," their mother spoke out, eyeing her sons through the review mirros. With the light turning green, she pressed the gas, careful to drive slower due to the rain and the dimmed street lights. "I've got a lot of paperwork to sign… if you really want to do this."

"I do mamma! It's funner than fútbol!" His voice was bouncing, ecstatic; as he let his eyes wander from Lovino's angered form, leaning his hands on the back of his mother's seat.

"I'll have to see honey… It's a big commitment, and you're only 7…"

Feliciano let his eyebrows drop, as he shook his head, counting on his fingers for only a moment. "I'll be 8 in…. 3 months! Please- please please pleeeease!"

He continued to speak, almost whining, as their mamma began to laugh a little, easily enjoying the way her son's voice already beamed with excitement. She would do anything for her children, and if Feliciano really wanted to do this, then she had a difficult time saying no. The added fact that this way they could save up for college, their own careers once they grew too old for the fashion industry- what could really go wrong? Her eyes were the watchful type though, as she already could see the real reason why he wanted to do this.

Feliciano could have easily ridden the bus home from school each day, rather than follow after Lovino as he was driven by their mamma to his agency every few days. He always claimed -the bus ride was too bumpy, or that the kids were loud, even that he fell asleep once and missed his stop- silly things like that. Looking through the review mirror, she could see the look of admiration in his eyes and they were all for Lovino. A smile spread to her lips as she laughed silently, noticing how angered Lovino already was, but Feliciano's grinning face seemed to soften the scene; his fingers fidgeting with the seatbelt, his new shoes kicking and rubbing together, what a cute little son she had.

"…Can you stop staring at me… It's annoying." Lovino spat out, peering from the corner of his eye to his little brother.

"Lovi! Can you teach me that um… angry face? When your lip is all puffy?" Feliciano was unaware of how ticked of Lovino really was. Even going so far as to asking him for advice, as if Lovino would even give him anything he could use.

"Figure it out yourself!" He turned his head, cheeks blaring read in anger and some form of embarrassment, as he leered to the little boy, no more than 2 inches shorter than him in the car.

"Like that!" His small hands reached out to his brother, attempting to cup his cheeks. "They're all big and red! Don't fashion people like that?"

"Shut up! As if you know anything you idiot!"

The bickering boys went on as their mother could only roll her eyes, letting them fight it out; they were both chained to their seats, so she would have to deal with the harsh words and not the battle wounds Feliciano always seemed to end up with. She drove swiftly through the city streets, soon coming up to a large hill and down a private drive, approaching their house. The black Maserati that sat covered in the driveway signaled her husband was home, as well as the silhouette of a man cooking away in the kitchen. A sigh of relief left her as she let go of the gas pedal, the car jolting to a stop. A click of her seatbelt she turned to her sons, yelling to them both to stop fighting and hurry inside to eat dinner.

She didn't have to say it twice before they were both frantically hitting the red button of their belt. They messed with the door handle and jumped from the car, not caring about how wet they would be running through the rain and jumping into puddles.

The kitchen smelled of fresh cilantro and basil, as Feliciano kicked off his shoes, jumping up and running to their papa. A large hug ensued, them both laughing and chuckling, his papa brushing the rain drops from his cheeks. Lovino only stared from the doorway, bending down to untie his shoes and hang up his coat. Though he didn't want to, he reached to the coat that Feliciano carelessly threw to the ground in his heated struggle to meet his papa.

For some reason, Lovino didn't feel right, walking into the kitchen. His anger towards Feliciano, towards his parents, towards the life of living in the shadow, he somehow felt like a stranger in his own home. Anyone could see the difference in how their parents seemed to gaze at Feliciano and only glance to Lovino. Feliciano would never notice it, and Lovino would never say a word, rather he would pity himself and count down the days he could leave his family and become a true adult. Being deep in thought like this, his face stayed straight and stared off to Feliciano who by now was eagerly grabbing a stool and having a taste of the piping hot sauce in the large pot. His head nodded in enjoyment, signaling the sauce was definitely ready.

"-I hope you'll watch over him Lovino." The little boy was startled as he turned around to see his mother, standing much like him, looking off at the two. Her face was much less threatening than Lovino's however, a bit more envious. Seeing her son and her husband together was a joy only a parent could recognize, though she still stood by Lovino, not wanting to disrupt the scene ahead of her.

Lovino looked to her with a questioning eye, herself kneeling down to meet those hazel orbs.

"You know what I mean," she began, reaching to Lovino's rosewood coloured locks, patting down his damp hair. "You're the big brother. You have to look out for Feliciano. He's not as strong willed as you are."

"Well obviously…" he chimed in, rolling his eyes to the floor.

It was melodious, her laugh, as she kept it very hushed, nodding her head along with his words. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she spoke, recalling time and time again, Feliciano's thin skin got the better of him. "

"Yeah! I mean- He cries at lunchtime if they run out of vanilla in the ice cream bar!" he exclaimed, in support to his earlier words.

She laughed again, but much louder, her eyes squinting shut in rhythm. Lovino easily blushed, feeling a rite of passage for making his mamma laugh so freely, her head trying to shake the joke off. And then he too chuckled, though he was trying to hide it. Finally, he was relaxing, letting loose after a hard day at work, one of the hardest he'd yet encountered.

His mamma was relieved too, glad to see the first smile of the day from her rather temperamental son. Loving hands reached out, the warm motherly kiss setting on his forehead as he smiled yet again, though Lovino's eyes shut tightly in embarrassment.

"I'm very proud of you Lovino. I know you have it hard with your brother, but he's family. Never stop loving him." A little confused, but he got the picture. Now that he was less tense from work, he sealed it with a simple nod and wholly determined eyes. If his mother asked it of him, he would do his best to look out for Feliciano, no matter what-

"Hey! No eating! We gotta wait for mamma and Lovi!" Feliciano's little head popped out from behind the kitchen door, interrupting his mother and brother still chatting in the hall. His sauce covered spoon pointed to his apparently, very hungry father, teasing Feliciano as he continued to bring the linguini covered fork closer to his open mouth.

To little Feliciano, this was a big deal! His eyes were wide in fear that he would eat before they said their prayers and before even Lovino and his mamma could make their plates. "Mamma! Papa's about to eat without us! Hurry up!" He yelled eyes full of worry as he ran back into the dining room, ready to wrestle the fork from his father.

The other two laughed again, noting how silly and naïve Feliciano was. Their mother stood to her feet, brushing off the bottom of her skirt, and then she felt the small surprise of Lovino's fingers grabbing her hand. They would enter the dining room together, as Lovino was feeling rather uplifted from their small chat. It made her very happy though, as she squeezed his fingers and they made way to the room they'd share a nice, family meal.

Walking in on the scene of Feliciano guarding his father's plate, hands hovering over his food in an attempt to stop him from eating, Lovino chuckled into his hand, muttering out an "Idiota…" that only his mother could hear. Her hand squeezed his once more, as they let go, sitting down at the table. Their mamma and papa sharing a short peck on the lips, Feliciano immaturely looked away at, Lovino rolling his eyes.

And so dinner continued, Feliciano re-telling, in extreme detail, of how the day had went. A much more relaxed Lovino would add his own words every so often, righting the wrongs that Feliciano seemed to enjoy fibbing about. Their papa was impressed, very happy, to hear about their long eventful day. No doubt he would sign those papers, watching the way Feliciano's eyes lit up more and more with each sentence. Just the way he would speak of his brother, so highly; he was "the best" and "so handsome, so professional, so pretty" though that comment left Feliciano with a piece of pasta thrown at him, a yell from their mamma, and only a laugh from their papa.

He wouldn't admit it, but Lovino was enjoying the bit of fame he received from Feliciano. He always did.

It wasn't long after 9pm, Feliciano let out a staggering yawn, rubbing at his glazed over eyes. It was bedtime for the little boys. Lovino too yawned, but concealed it with his hand, hoping he could stay up a little later that night. That was not the case, as their papa picked them both up with ease, sending them up the stairs to their bedroom. Due to Feliciano's young age, they shared a room, both beds separated by a large carpet centered in their room. Lovino was angry at first, having to share their room, but he knew it was always lonely without Feliciano there. Whenever he was at a sleepover, or staying at their grandfathers, Lovino would toss and turn at night, looking off to the empty bed with a 'hmph' and then forcing himself to get to bed. Though the second Feliciano would return, he would say nonsense about how he finally felt the happiness of an only child.

Upon entering the boys bedroom, their parents tucked them in gently, kissing both their heads and flicking on the hallway light so it wouldn't be too dark. Just as their parents left, Feliciano made a point not to forget about signing the important papers, the thought never having left his mind. They agreed, laughing, as they had planned to sit down and talk it over once the boys fell asleep.

The light clicked off, filling the room in a darkness only illuminated by the bright crescent outside. Both the boy's faces were spotted with the silhouettes of raindrops continuously falling onto the windows. Lovino breathed deeply and silently, the loud thrashing of blankets across the room causing him to tighten his lids together, hoping to stop the noise with his strong intent.

Suddenly, slow and steady steps shuffled towards his bed, the same he heard almost every night. His body turned, being in no hurry, not a bit surprised to see Feliciano, holding his own blanket and stuffed animal in his hands. You'd expect Lovino to yell at him, tell him to go in his own bed and stop sneaking into his side of the room…

Instead, the older brother scooted over, picking up the blanket and inviting Feliciano to lie next to him. The smaller Italian smiled, reaching to the bed and pulling his legs up and over, tossing his own blanket over the two of them, hoping to keep them both warm through the surely cold night.

"Make sure you don't kick me off the bed…" Lovino spoke, hoping to make his presence known and establish the rules as he did every night. Feliciano hummed in compliance, huddling closer to his brother.

The fuzzy bear Feliciano brought over stayed nestled tightly in his arms, as he took up any space between them. That head of reddened amber shifted up, his eyes dark from the night, but still somewhat glistening. Lovino allowed himself to stare at his younger brother, somewhat thwarted when he felt that bears snout pressing against his cheek.

"He wants a kiss- or else he can't sleep…" the younger Italian almost whispered out.

"I'm not kissing that grubby thing," he replied in a dull tone, pushing the bear from his face. It took no more than a second before it was pressing against his cheek once more and Lovino was in no mood to constantly push it aside. He held the body firmly, angrily pressing his lips into the chocolate fur. "There. Happy?"

The only reply was a muffled laugh, as he pulled the bear down to him, his fingers smoothing through the somewhat botched fur all over his body. A present from many years ago, Feliciano held it close to him, though Lovino seemed to detest the damn thing. It was indeed old, but it was something his little brother cherished dearly, just as any child his age would.

"Aren't you getting a little old for teddy bears? Mamma and papa are gonna make you throw it away you know…" If Lovino could ever find a time to tease his brother, he would- though he hadn't expected the look of fear pass over Feliciano so easily. He quickly regretted it; not realizing the difference in age really played its part.

"Hey, hey- I was just joking! Don't start crying or anything!" His hands rapidly patted at Feliciano's head, hoping to calm his nerves… though he was right, or at least he thought he was. "You are getting kind of old to have that thing though. It's just an old bear."

The way that the little boy petted and cooed the bear, it was much like a mother to her child, himself kissing the tip of his nose lightly, mumbling something too difficult to understand. He didn't say a word though, a strange act of Lovino's little brother, the one who was always yelling and yapping away.

Turning his head, the bed creaked a little. Lovino was trying to see if Feliciano had fallen asleep or not, his silence somewhat unsettling to him. "Are you sleeping already?"

Feliciano's head shook, keeping his eyes out of sight to the older brother.

"What's wrong?"

Lovino backed up on the bed, pushing and making room for Feliciano to move and speak. The tiny body beside him finally lifted however, his arms propping him up just enough to peer over Lovino's face. Somehow though, his eyes were sad, desperate. They felt as though they were looking right through Lovino's skull, a feeling that caused him to feel more than uncomfortable.

Where was that smiling Feliciano? That giddy boy who would lie in his bed and count all the stars outside, or plan his outfit perfectly for the next day. He was being quiet, unpredictable, and worst, his lips bent in the corners, almost in distress… and they soon began to tremble.

Then they were gone.

All he would see was darkness. Thick and unpleasant… but somehow, inviting and warm, or at least it began to feel that way. He couldn't tell if his eyes were shut or open, but the slightest sensation began to roll through his body, one unfamiliar to him. He knew where he was though… he could feel the sheets beneath his hands, as he clutched them tightly, the pillow under his head that settled back as he pressed into it…

And once he moved one of those hands forward, it landed into those soft, amber curls, which seemed to sit right above his head. They were still, as the rest of the room had been for what felt like minutes, maybe even an hour. With how much detail he could describe from it all, it felt like ages, though only a period of 5 or 6 seconds had to have passed.

His lips were somewhat moist, soft and confident. They didn't waver, nor did they feel as though they were trembling anymore. All they did was sit, planted atop Lovino's own, his entire face becoming warm… confused- but somehow, he wouldn't gain the willpower to move, not even an inch.

10 seconds…

His fingers finally let loose of that soft hair, gently falling to the side of the bed, the sheets ruffling quietly. An almost silent pop echoed in his ears, as he felt the heated breath of his brother blowing on him so softly. Finding the ability to swallow hard, he realized his eyes were shut, and before he could fully open them, his brother was already laying where he had been, tightly latched to the bear, his face nowhere in his range of sight. Lovino still wasn't able to fully move, the shock of such a kiss really tossing his sense of right and wrong out the window, along with his desire to lash out at his brother. If it had been any other time, any other day, he would have… But somehow.

Somehow, he was completely perplexed and stunned. It wasn't the sort of kiss one gave someone they adored or cared for, and that scared him…

It was unnoticed to him that he had reached out to his brother, pulling him to his chest, just as Feliciano held the bear. He didn't know what to do, all he knew is that he desperately wanted to hold him, and there was nothing wrong with that.

"Don't… Don't do that- ever again…" he stammered out between a few breaks and pauses.

Feliciano only nodded. "Okay."

Chapter two 3

I really wanted to upload this tonight, since I'm so motivated and happy that I've received some good feedback!

I hope this is doing some justice for us Itacest fans out there-

Edited this myself so, I do hope I didn't butcher any of this or miss anything... OTL