Rin's POV:

"…But in the world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes."- Benjamin Franklin.

Benny Frankly was like, a liar pants.

For you see, in life, nothing can be said to be like, so totally certain except:

Len, my twin brother (some say he is my mirror image), has stolen exactly $23.59 from my purse.

I will forever be cute, irresistibly sexy, and an astounding singer. Hell yeah.

Kaito Shion is the slimiest thing ever in the history of forever. And I am like, not even jk.

"Do you think she knows?" SeeU asked Lily in a hushed voice, being very careful so the Vocaloids above and below us wouldn't hear, but I don't think that there was any need. 'Cuz, I mean, there was like, walls and stuff between us. Lily shook her head in response to SeeU. "I don't think so- but then again, there's no guarantee."

For once in my life, I felt like a terrible human being. Terrible, but cute! Lily, Luka, SeeU, and I had paid Kaito (in ice cream, of course, because what else would we have paid him with?) and had promised to call him ore-sama for a week, even in front of other Vocaloids (we had done it in front of a very drunk Meiko- she just gave us a quizzical look and moved on).

Why?

We wanted him to go on a date with that poor Utau girl Uta Utane.

I liked Uta in a friendy way, and yet I like, needed to act like I hated her around my bestie Miku H. Lily and Luka pitied her, and SeeU had become friends with an Utau named Ritsu Namine who was friends with Uta, so she wanted to help.

Currently, the four of us were sitting patiently at the Vocaloid common room in the basement of the HQ waiting for the ice cream obsessed lunatic to walk through the door boasting about how smooth he was, and how he made his purple haired date swoon due to his charming looks and charismatic speech.

And even if the date went well, it was really all thanks to onee-chan ((A.N. My Rin personification calls Luka onee-chan [meaning sister] and my version of Luka calls Rin imouto [meaning little sis])). She practically stood over the kusotare's ((A.N. Meaning jerk)) shoulder and watched him as he made movie and dinner reservations and made sure he did everything right.

She gave us the all-clear, and we sent him on his way, hoping and praying to various deities that he would not screw anything up (mine was an orange!).

I watched as SeeU absentmindedly straightened her skirt and glanced in the direction of the door. "He should be home by now," she said, failing to hide the anxiousness in her voice but failing miserably. "It's fine. He'll be home a~ny minute now," I said, but I think I was just trying to convince myself more than her.

At last, that demon walked in with a huge smirk on his face. "Hello to you, hello to you, hello to you, and an extra hello for you," he said with a wink to Luka, who scoffed and dove right in to question him about his night out with Uta.

He told us the whole story- how it had worked perfectly, how Uta was swooning over him (which, as us four girls know, was donkey poo [I'm just too cute to swear!]), how he had won her little robotic heart. He smirked again. "I'm just a complete natural!" And with that, he left.

Len, my mirror image has, in fact, stolen exactly $23.59 from my purse. He admitted it after I gave him a wedgie. Ah, bullying siblings is fun.

I will forever be cute, irresistible, and an excellent singer. That I know for sure, because I see it every day in the mirror!.

And definitely, Kaito Shion is a big poo.

And now, our favorite misanthropic crossdresser, Ritsu and his POV, which is actually pretty short, sorry:

I was mad. Awfully mad. You know, actually mad didn't cut it. So how about furious? Nah. Pissed? Nope. Actually, my anger couldn't be expressed through the English language. Or Japanese. Or Korean. Or German. The list goes on.

Tei and I caught Uta with Blue Vocaloid. Blue Vocaloid! Damn him, stealing one of my friends.

Tei and I had told Uta, "You and Blue Vocaloid. Whatever's going on between you two, end it. Right now."

Tei was sure that her friends telling her this was a bad idea would set Uta down the right path. So for the next two days, Uta was pestered with-

"There are plenty of male Utau that you could date!"

"There's Teto's brother Ted! He's nice. He volunteers at animal shelters and stuff like that."

"Ruko's brother Rook would be a good match for you. He's practically a saint, and he makes great coffee."

"Other Utau are much more right for you than that Blue Vocaloid."

-And stuff and things like that.

And every time she would just shrug and offer us lame excuses.

"Tedo smells like wet dog. And what if Teto gets upset that I'm dating her twin brother?"

"Rook adds about five pounds of sugar to his coffee. If I date him, I may get diabetes."

I couldn't believe her stubbornness, but I think Tei was the angrier of the two of us. Although I'm pretty sure that she was just mad because Uta was dating someone connected to Miku Hatsune, her arch-enemy. But that was Tei for you.

And I think our words were making Uta want BV more.

Now to our poor confused little Uta and her lo-ver-ly POV:

I once again dialed the first three digits of his number.

503-

I took a sharp breath in and dialed the next three.

884-

I clicked the hang up button on my phone and stared it down with the hatred of five thousand… things that hate. What hates? I dunno. Me, I guess. And the Crap Duo: Rit 'n Tei.

As I was about ready to throw the phone against the deep purple wall of my room (that matched not only my singing uni, but my hair too!) when an angry cross dresser almost knocked down my door (that was a lighter shade of purple to contrast the rest of the room. And my uni. And my hair.)

Seeing him made me have a Naruto flashback: his words from the night before echoing in my mind: "You and Blue Vocaloid. Whatever's going on between you two, end it. Right now."

Who was he to tell me who to date? He can't hold up a boyfriend for more than two weeks because when they decided to… Urm… Get their 'shot' of PENIScilin. Or… or… do the horizontal hula. You know, do the dirty. The nasty. Go to the catacombs of Ritsu Namine. Down in Ritsu's south seas.

…

Sex! Have sex. But Rit-cha never tells his boyfriends that he is, in fact, a man of feminine proportions (I.E. a dude. Who dressed up as a guy. Yeah. Murph.) Can you put 2+2 together? I think you can. Unless you're stupid, which, of course, is a possibility in which I cannot just simply ignore. So I will tell you what happens… subtly. Here's the bid-ness: Whenever Ritsu gets a boyfriend, he "forgets" to tell him that he is not what he appears to be. And when they go to do exchange business, the poor chump finds out that Ritsu isn't the package that he ordered. So there. There you go.

Ugh, Ritsu, Tei, and Ruko may be into this whole yaoi thing, but I can't get behind it.

Any-who, who was he to tell me who to date! I'll date whoever I want, even if he is the enemy.

Who has dreamy eyes… such lovely, dreamy, blue eyes with the hair to match. Whenever I thought about it, I got all whack with poo brain. Nurgh, I'm doing it again.

…

…

…

But anyway. Instead of slashing me over the head with a meat cleaver like I thought he'd do, killing me with one swift blow, or perhaps trying to choke me with some Korean food, he lightly plopped himself beside me on my bed. Ohonhonhon.

"So, Uta," Ritsu began testily. "There are plenty of male Utau that you could date instead of Blue Vocaloid person!"

I narrowed my eyes and slowly turned my head to look at my fellow Utau. This was exactly what I was rambling on about in my head! Who was the hell he to tell me who to fucking date, damn it!

"Fine," I said. "Now, I'm busy writing songs and such, so, sayonara and such."

"Eh? Oh. Oh, alright. Well, I'm making dinner, so don't be late for it!" he said with fake enthusiasm and left my room.

I rolled my eyes and stared at my phone yet again. The time was right. It was this time. This time I was going to do it.

503-

…

884-

…

Hang up.

So that's the third chappy! Sorry that it was so short! I'm already writing the fourth and perhaps, if I feel in an especially good mood, there shall be a fifth and maybe even a sixth. Next chapter's gonna have more Vocaloid POVs than Utau POVs because what's life without a little twist? And I'm going to try to get it out before the 24th (my birthday!) of April.

Sayonara, minna!