Teva rifled through the rack of clothing in front of her, wrinkling her nose at the scent of new, unwashed fabric. Sometimes she really hated mimicking Logan's enhanced senses, something that happened a lot without her even realizing it; she'd have to make sure to avoid the perfume counter when they passed by it on their way out into the mall or it would be instant migraine, and that was the last thing she wanted that day. She was out with friends and, as much as she hated shopping, female companionship was something she missed from her days in Antiheroine.
"Where's Jubilee?" Ororo asked, perusing a selection of tops.
Teva snorted. "Off looking at shiny baubles, no doubt. I swear the lass is like a magpie and will go and hoard her stash when we get home."
Kitty laughed at that. "You guys have no idea, really, I had to share a room with her when we were kids. I never had any room for my stuff by the time she was done."
Ororo smiled, shaking her head. "I suppose she will turn up when she has decided she is hungry. How I envy that girl's metabolism some days."
"Oh, tell me about it," Teva groaned, a hand to her abdomen. "Even with the healing factor I feel like I need to obsessively work out or I will'nae fit into my uniform. That thing is merciless, slimming color or no."
"Are you kidding me?" Kitty asked. "At least you've got hips, I'll forever look like a twelve-year-old with no butt."
Teva twisted around as if she could see her own behind that way. "Aye, well, if I could give you some of this, I would. Even if Logan is rather fond of it." He really was attached to it, enough to make regular remarks to that effect.
She was a little shocked at the compliment from Kitty. Their relationship usually only survived through the connection of the man between them, they'd never shared anything beyond that, which made Teva wonder if it was jealousy on the other woman's part. She would never come between them and their long-established bond, if anything she found herself a little envious at it and the sheer history the two had, sharing experiences Teva had no knowledge of. Kitty had gotten to see Logan's evolution from the gruff loner of the team to the man he was today.
"Are you seeing anything you like?" Ororo asked.
Teva shook her head. "Nah, it's more of the usual. I dinnae want that."
The weather goddess hooked her arm with the Scottish woman's so they could walk together. "You want to turn his head, make him see you as he has not before. I will make it my personal mission to see that you accomplish this goal."
Teva almost blushed and was glad for the strength of her shields or she'd be leaking gooey thoughts all over the place. Ororo was the sister she'd never had but always wanted, someone to commiserate with and share secrets with, someone who'd listen when she needed an ear. And for all Teva was comfortable with her own boyish style of clothing, it was hard not to be envious of a woman who always looked so effortlessly put-together. Ororo was the epitome of natural beauty and every other woman looked like a peasant in her presence.
They caught up with Jubilee at the jewelry counter where she'd indeed dropped a small fortune, but she was happy. The foursome went out into the mall proper, window shopping and going into stores only when something caught someone's eye. Teva saw a few possibilities that she stored away in her mind for later comparison but she felt out of her league as she'd never shopped for anything even remotely formal.
They were coming up on a video game store and she and Jubilee saw it at the same moment, Teva reacting by groaning and covering her face while Jubilee started laughing: in front of them was a cardboard cutout of Teva from when she'd been in Antiheroine, maybe six years ago now, looking younger and more naive than she'd ever thought possible; it was an advertisement for the upcoming version of Guitar Hero and she hadn't expected to see anything for it for another couple months at least. She just thanked her lucky stars they'd needed her permission to use her likeness though she wished they'd chosen a photo from when she'd looked less ... grungy.
"I think I'd be incredibly creeped out if I ran into one of these of myself," Kitty said, cocking her head to the side as she looked at it.
"Are you a playable avatar?" Jubilee asked. "Please, please tell me you are."
Teva nodded and tried to ignore the cutout. "I'm unlockable, apparently."
Jubilee pumped her fist in the air. "That is so freakin' cool! Does Logan know?"
"Aye, it was a condition, I would'nae have done it if he had'nae been okay with it. He thinks it's funny."
"Logan has an odd sense of humor," Ororo said. "Then again, he does not seem terribly bothered knowing that there are t-shirts with his alter ego on them."
"Didn't all the Avengers end up with their own merchandise?" Kitty asked as they moved on.
"I am the proud owner of Spider-Man underoos," Jubilee declared. "I think he's the only one who got underwear, though. I always wondered why that was, it seems kind of weird."
"There were Iron Man panties in Paris for a while," Teva replied. "It did'nae last very long, Tony does'nae exactly have a great reputation with the women. Personally I like my Captain America jersey, I dinnae feel quite so strange wearing that."
They came up on Nordstrom's and trooped in, and almost immediately Teva found herself drawn to a silk outfit of royal blue. It consisted of flowing, wide-legged pants that gave the illusion of a skirt and a form-fitting, sleeveless top with silver embroidery in something resembling Celtic knotwork along the V of the neckline. Unlike anything else she'd seen she knew she wanted to try this on and quickly found her size and took the items into the dressing room.
The reaction of her shopping companions told her this was it. "You look stunning," Ororo said, pulling her over to the three-way mirror. "That color is perfect with your skin and hair, and with a little make-up Logan will never know what hit him."
"I've got an idea for your hair," Kitty said, "as long as you don't mind it being braided."
"Thank you," Teva said, touched by the offer. "Any suggestions on shoes? That are'nae high heels," she added, heading Jubilee off at the pass. "I hate shoe shopping more than I hate shopping for clothes, there's a reason I stick with combat boots and Chucks."
That search took a little longer and, by the time they'd found a pair of flat sandals that laced up the calf, it was decided that lunch was in order. They reconvened at a table in the middle of the food court which, luckily, wasn't too busy.
Jubilee chattered away and the rest of them were happy to let her do it if it kept her out of trouble, even if some of the topics she chose were worse than others, and it wasn't until she brought up Logan and Teva having kids that the mood changed.
"Are you alright?" Ororo asked, noticing that Teva had stopped eating.
"Logan and I have'nae had a chance to talk about it yet and I'm a little afraid to bring it up." She pushed away her food, folding her arms protectively over her abdomen; what little she'd gotten into her stomach was beginning to feel as if it would come back up. "I dinnae even ken if I can have kids, 'Roro. My mother had quite a few miscarriages and I was really a fluke; her mother had similar problems, though she had a few more children, and her other daughters never had any children. I never went to a doctor over it but I never wanted to ken."
Ororo touched her arm, giving her a squeeze. "I do not wish to add to your dismay, but it is also very rare for two mutants to be able to conceive, it was a ... source of contention between Forge and I. Are children something you wish for?"
Teva shrugged. "That's just it, I dinnae ken. I ken what kind of life mutants can expect and I dinnae think that I'd want to bring a child into that. And being an X-Man means I might not make it back one day. There are just too many what-ifs." She looked at the other three women, all who had known her mate longer than she had. "Has he ever said one way or the other to any of you how he feels about kids?"
Kitty nodded. "He's always felt uncomfortable around them, even when they're older, I know it took forever for him to get used to me and Jubes here. I think he doesn't know what to do with them, how to handle them, but with the way he spoke to me once about Itsu makes me think part of him would want that. There's really no way to know without asking him, y'know?"
"Aye, I ken that's what I need to do. The thought just makes me sick to my stomach."
Ororo declared that enough shopping had been done, though Teva insisted she was fine and didn't want to cut the trip short just because she was upset. Still, it touched her that they rallied around her and got her home. Kitty made a date with her to give her hair a dry-run and then she was on her own, feeling aimless despite knowing what she needed to do.
The mansion felt deserted with everyone out on a weekend, though she found Hank and Remy going at it in the gym playing racquetball, and Rogue was running sims in the Danger Room with some of the junior members of the X-Men; Teva sat up in the control booth for a few moments watching Hisako being subtly prepped for a leadership role over her peers. She was yet another of Logan's 'strays' no matter her circumstances in coming to the school, and they had a strange relationship due to his years spent in Japan and her family history. It had been insanely amusing the first time Hisako had discovered Logan spoke her language and her grumblings were fully understood.
Her cellphone rang, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man" telling her it was Aardwulf.
"Aard, where the hell have you been, you sexy bastard?" she asked by way of greeting.
"Breakin' hearts, sweetie, an' kickin' asses." His Southern drawl filled the line like honey, always a welcome sound. "And I hear you're off the market come next Saturday. That ugly little Canuck o' yours finally decided to make an honest woman out of ya?"
She snorted and switched the phone from one hand to the other as she went outside, shoving her other hand in her pocket. "Well, news certainly does travel fast."
"I heard it on VH1 'fore I got the invite."
"Oh gods." She groaned, her hand reemerging to cover her face. "Sometimes I forget how much of a circus my life used to be. Even now I dinnae turn on the telly more than I have to but at least things had started to die down after I got kicked out of the band."
"That's the life, Teva, ya knew that goin' in. Just be glad ya ain't got paparazzi followin' ya around like you're J-Lo or somethin'."
"My butt is'nae that big."
Aardwulf laughed. "Nah, but it's nice. Shame you're off the market."
"More's the pity, Aard, you'll nae get another chance with me."
"I'll die a bereft man, then." She could imagine him with a hand over his heart as if stricken and the image made her grin. "I'm happy for ya, honey, I really am. I knew as soon as I saw the two of ya together I was lookin' at somethin' most of the rest of us ain't ever gonna be lucky enough to find. I'd be honored to be there for ya on your big day."
"Thanks, Aard. If you need a place to stay we've got more than enough room here at the mansion."
He snorted. "Right, 'cause I wanna be around a buncha kids. Thanks for the offer, Ginger, but I'll make arrangements elsewhere. I'll be in on Friday."
"I'll see you then." The smile remained on her face even after they said their good-byes, even as she realized her feet were taking her towards the boathouse and the unmistakable mental signature of her mate.
She thought back to the first time she'd seen him here, not too long after coming to the Institute. She'd felt raw and vulnerable then, too, for different reasons, and she'd just begun to realize she had feelings for him. She remembered how he'd pushed her away and was glad that things had changed, for the better, and now it was she who was avoiding what was in her heart.
"Hey, baby," he greeted her, tugging her down to sit next to him on the edge of the dock. "Have fun with the girls?"
"Aye, found what I was looking for."
"Then why ya feel like yer world's comin' down around ya?" He wasn't the type to let her ignore her feelings, especially when he could feel them like ants marching along his skin. "Talk to me, Tev. Ya haven't said much since the night yer dad called."
That was another thing she'd deliberately not been thinking of. Her mother had been buried some hours after she'd regained full consciousness following the mission in Brooklyn. "We have'nae talked about kids," she said finally. "About us having them."
He didn't say anything for a moment. "Are kids somethin' ya wanna have?"
Teva told him, haltingly, what was on her mind, physically pulling away from him, folding in on herself as if expecting a negative reaction; it was something she hadn't done for months now, hadn't felt the need to do. "And 'Roro told me it's nearly impossible for two mutants to conceive, anyway," she finished.
Logan was silent for a long moment, and she could feel him thinking. "We lead dangerous lives, we never know what's gonna happen when we go on a mission. An' me ... I got this animal in me an' sometimes I gotta let it out, gotta run. It ain't fair to you when I do it an' I don't want a kid thinkin' I hate 'em." He reached for her hand and she took it but still didn't look at him. "Even if we beat the odds, those same odds are high we'd have a kid with an active X-gene an' that's somethin' else I don't wanna burden a child with."
He touched her face then, made sure she was meeting his eyes when next he spoke. "Don't think less o' yerself just 'cause ya can't have kids. Even if I wanted some, we could always adopt, ain't like I'm such a stranger to that concept."
Teva couldn't help the smile that made her lips tremble. "You do seem to have a penchant for collecting strays, so to speak." She breathed out. "I've been making myself sick over this, I kept thinking... I know how joyful ye were when ye found out Itsu was pregnant, how much ye loved that ye were going tae be a father."
His gaze was intense, so much so she wanted to look away but found she couldn't. "The man married to Itsu ain't the man yer marryin', Tev, he's been dead a long time. I love you, I want you, ain't nothin' in the world's gonna change my mind and I'm a right stubborn bastard when I wanna be."
"Aye, well, ye are that." He could be a Scot he was so hard headed.
He kissed her forehead and pulled her in against his body. "How ya doin', otherwise? 'Bout the situation with yer parents, I mean."
She shrugged. "I'm getting over it. Having him call the other night was like tearing open a wound I thought long scarred over and I thought it was going to eat at me more than it has." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I cannae change what happened and in a lot of ways I made my peace with them a long time ago. I've got people and things more important tae focus on than a woman 3,000 miles away and six feet under."
"Now that's the Teva Lawson I know." He cleared his throat. "Speakin' o which, I got somethin' I need to ask ya."
"Oh?"
"'Bout last names." He rummaged in the pocket of his shirt and came out with a cigar and lighter, going through the motions of lighting up to keep his hands busy. "I know a lot of the time women who've done stuff under one name keep it so there's no confusion."
"I would'nae mind taking Howlett as my name, Logan."
"I don't want ya to," he said, a slight growl to his voice. "I don't want the name, either, it don't mean a thing to me. Belongs to someone long dead I barely remember. So I wanted to know how ya felt about me takin' yer name."
Teva jerked a little in surprise and stole his cigar to take a few puffs so she could order her thoughts. "Well, that's about the last thing I expected tae hear. I certainly dinnae have a problem with it." She gave him back the cigar. "So that's settled, then. And I was thinking we could take that camping trip up to Canada now instead of waiting for the summer, no sense in waiting."
"Aw, c'mon, I was hopin' we could go somewhere involves you in a tiny bikini and lots o' tannin' oil."
She batted at the hand that was sneaking up towards her breast, giving him a glare she only half-felt. "I dinnae do tiny bikinis, pervert, not even for you."
"Who said you'd be wearin' it for very long?" He leered at her with a wolfish grin and nipped playfully at her chin. "I don't plan on either of us worryin' about clothes for at least 48 hours," he said, using his hand on her arm to pull her off-balance so that she was lying on her back and he had her pinned.
"Do ye ever have anything other than sex on the brain?"
"Well, sometimes it's violence, other times it's food, I ain't exactly complicated." He smoothed his hand over her hair, tugging on the end of her braid when he got to it. "Though come to think of it, goin' up to Canada don't sound too bad. I got a place up there I ain't been to in years, as long as ya don't mind roughin' it."
Teva rolled her eyes at him. "Have I ever given you reason to believe I'm a priss who does'nae like getting her hands dirty? All I care about is getting away with you for a while and taking thorough advantage of what I hope is a secluded cabin."
"Plannin' on makin' a lot o' noise?" he asked, smirking. "What the fuck?" His cellphone went off and he frowned at the tune of "SexyBack" as he pulled the phone out of his pocket. "Remind me not to let Tony touch my phone ever again," he said when he saw who it was. "What the hell do ya want, Tin Man?"
Teva snickered and sat up when he released her, listening with amusement at the insults the two men seemed to be trading. Stark had likely just gotten sick of everyone he knew having Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" as their ringtone for him.
"Tony wants to know if you're okay with strippers at my stag party."
"Oh, for the love of Jesus. Are you going to fuck them?"
Logan snorted. "I don't go in for fake tits, darlin'. Might get a lap dance, though."
"Just as long as you come home to me, you can do whatever. Besides, we all know Tony will bogart all the strippers."