They've been together for three weeks now, three weeks. And in that time they'd set some ground rules for their secret relationship – or hook-ups, or whatever this is that they're doing. Of course, there's the fundamental rule: none of their friends can ever find out. Or they'll get all mushy-gushy or judgmental, or both, and everything will get weird and likely ruin the best sex of their lives. For that reason, to ensure that the fundamental rule stays unbroken, some lesser statutes were put in place:

(1) Invent fictitious dates/one-night-stands before discreetly excusing themselves, separately if possible;

(2) The apartment is a safe zone when Ted is at work, on wisdom walks, or on the rare occasion when he finds himself a bed
partner for the night, but is strictly off-limits when Ted is at home (too risky);

(3) Try to avoid hanky-panky at MacLaren's (too many witnesses who know them). Or at the very least keep it under the
table.

So far it's just the three, but it's a work in progress, a sort of a sequel to the Bro Code – The Barney & Robin Code.

But this balmy June night marks the first time either of them has proposed a breaking of the sacred Code.

Ted had left the bar an hour and a half before because he has a meeting with the University Dean in the morning and he wants to look 'fresh-faced and well-rested'. They'd shared a laugh over that one; Ted could be such a girl sometimes.

Then, five minutes ago, Lily had whispered her latest code word to Marshall and the two of them had immediately shot out of there, leaving Barney and Robin alone, drinking scotch together on the same side of the booth.

"God, you look hot," Barney says, bending low, the words husky in her ear and his breath warm on her neck as he openly looks down the front of her shirt.

"So do you," Robin counters, letting her hand slide suggestively down his tie. "I love you in this suit."

"I know. You told me," he grins, fondly recalling that afternoon. They were lounging on his bed, after making good use of it, when she'd gotten the urge to go exploring the apartment. She'd thrown on his discarded shirt and nothing else – a look that was impossibly sexy on her – and he'd followed after her, completely in the nude cause B-man likes to be ready. It was a good thing too, because ten minutes later…. "Remember when we did it in the suit room?"

"Yeah, I do," she smiles. The room had been full of expensive fabric as far as the eye could see. It was so purely Barney. And when the door to the temperature-controlled room swung shut, the scent of his cologne was so heady in the air, so evocative that she could have gotten off simply rubbing herself against the nearest rack of European tailoring. Of course, with the man himself standing behind her in the flesh – all in the flesh – there was no need for that.

"I've never let a woman in that room before. Who know the carpet would be so soft on my back?" he muses.

Robin shoots him a coy look, pressing closer to him in their booth. "We could go back there tonight. I could try it out, see how it feels on my back this time."

"Or on my knees, your hands and knees….." Barney looks at her, his eyes heavy with lust imagining the possibilities.

His hand lands on her bare knee and she feels blood pool heavy and hot and low in her belly…..and places further south. "Come on, let's go," says, grabbing for her purse.

But he shakes his head 'no.' His hand slips beneath the hemline of her skirt. "My place is twenty-three minutes away. I can't wait that long."

With Barney's hand sliding warm against her skin, Robin gets his point – she really does – she just doesn't understand the alternative. "Where then?"

"Upstairs."

"The apartment?" she asks, in confusion. "But Ted's there."

"He's got to be asleep by now."

She looks at him, lust and logic fighting a war across her features. "No, we said we wouldn't. It's too risky."

"Come on, Scherbatsky," he coaxes, drawing out her last name warm and soft, like an endearment, in the way he knows she loves. "It'll be so badass going to town on each other with Ted right in the next room."

Her head cocks to the side thoughtfully as she considers it. "Yeah, it really would be," she says, and when she bits her lip he knows he has her. His fingers slowly creeping up her inner thigh to play at the lace edging of her panties further seal the deal. "Alright. But we have to be quiet."

From the twinkle in his eye, she wonders if she'll live to regret it, but her body is too fired up to care.

Upstairs, they fumble around in the darkness – alternately kissing, alternately walking – until they reach Robin's bedroom. Barney presses her up against the door, his hand already up her shirt. Under the force of their momentum, it slams shut, the sound conspicuously loud in the otherwise quiet apartment. Robin's eyes widen, but a second later his lips came crashing back to hers and she forgets about the door – or anything else.

In record time, he has her naked on the bed, the box of condoms open and within easy grabbing range on the nightstand. Setting his carefully folded pants on the footstool alongside the rest of his suit, he drops his boxers and slides down beside her, pulling her in close as his tongue teases her neck.

"You're right. This is so hot," she pants. "Ted could hear us at any time."

Barney grins at her, amused and enjoying the fact that she's getting off on the danger aspect. Then she reaches down and slaps his bare bottom hard enough to make him loudly yelp. He looks at her in surprise.

"Sometimes I kind of like to do the whole BDSM thing. I don't know." She shrugs self-consciously. "It makes some guys uncomfortable. I like it pretty hard-core, sometimes."

He makes a low choking sound in his throat. "Good Lord, Scherbatsky." He shakes his head as if trying to get a hold of himself. "Tomorrow night, we go to my place. I have handcuffs, whips, paddles, a whole box full of paraphernalia."

"Mmm," Robin sighs, wrapping her leg around Barney's hip.

He rolls her beneath him, his lips sliding down her throat. Her hand shoots down into his hair, sending a glass of water left over from the night before crashing to the ground in the process, but they both ignore it. His mouth latches onto her chest, sucking hard, and a long moan escapes her. Everything is starting to get hot and hazy and oh so good when a knock on her door interrupts them.

"Robin?" Ted calls. "Robin, are you alright in there?"

Robin looks down to Barney. It had been hot as a fantasy, true enough, but now that it's actually happening she isn't sure what to do. But he gives her a wicked grin, that naughty twinkle back in his eye. "Shhh," he whispers, his lips settling back down against her chest.

"Robin?" Ted repeats, this time trying the door and finding it locked.

She groans; she can't help it. The man is good with his mouth – and now his hands are getting into the action.

"Robin, did you hurt yourself?" Ted sounds truly alarmed now, like maybe he'll try to break down the door or something.

"Ye – yeah. I'm here," she calls back. Barney's lips are trailing down her ribcage to her stomach, and by now she has a fairly good idea of what he has in mind. She can't decide whether to be furious with him or even more turned on.

Who is she kidding? As he kisses his way from hipbone to hipbone, she knows she's loving this every bit as much as he is.

He moves his attentions lower and she shudders and whimpers; he has skills with his tongue she hadn't even known existed. She feels him chuckle against her, then he pauses to look up at her. "Shh," he admonishes again, his eyes hot, and a mischievous smile plays on his lips before he bends back to her.

"Robin…." Ted calls through the door again. And seriously, she wonders, what is the matter with him; why can't he just go back to bed? "I heard banging, and now you sound weird. Are you okay?"

Barney is working his magic, and she's biting her lip to keep from making any sounds, but it's too good and she can't take it much longer, and damn him, he knows it.

She makes a high-pitched sort of sigh because she just can't keep it in any longer, prompting Ted to ask, "Are you sure you're okay?" But she ignores him because she can hardly think, can hardly breathe. "Robin?"

"Y – yes…..Oooh….Yes…..Uhh….YEEES!"

And then Robin is catching her breath and Barney is sliding up her body, reaching for a condom and donning it with practiced fingers. Then he's bracing himself above her and moving against her and she groans, long and low and embarrassingly loud, and Ted is just on the other side of the door asking if she's sick, and everything feels hot and tight and wrong and oh so right. And then she completely gives up her dignity and any attempt at being quiet, and just lets herself feel.

"Ro –" Ted hears her suggestive noises through the door, and understanding finally dawns. "Oh. Oh. O-okay. I'll just leave you alone then."

Robin vaguely registers hearing him leave, but she's too far gone to care one way or the other.

When she emerges from her bedroom, Ted is in the kitchen, grabbing the container of cookies down from the top of the refrigerator. He freezes when he sees her.

"Uh, about earlier," Robin begins, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. She has no idea how he'll feel about her sleeping with Barney. She doubts he'll go postal, like he did the first time, but the very fact that he found out this way is enough to earn them both a lecture.

"Robin," Ted says in that wise, parental, I-know-better-than-you, I-already-act-like-a-dad voice he uses from time to time. "I understand."

She looks at him, confused, hardly believing it's going to be this easy. "You do?"

He nods. "And it's cool."

"It's….cool?"

"Yeah. I mean, we all know about your little gift to Lily back at her bridal shower. It just makes sense you'd get one for yourself too."

"What?"

And now he says the words a little more quietly. "A vibrator, or….whatever."

"What? No. I – "

"Robin, it's okay. We all need to….you know, do that, every once in a while. You don't have to be embarrassed."

She cocks her head to the side, considering this out. "And you know that's what I was doing?…..With a vibrator."

"Listen, I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about."

"Ok," she says, unable to keep the laughter from her voice. "That's…okay."

"Good?"

"Great."

Satisfied that all is well, Ted starts to leave the kitchen.

"But, Teddy Boy, just so you know – my, uh, vibrator has a very, very long battery life….And I don't think I'm quite done yet."

He looks a little panicked at that, but quickly covers it. "Right. Okay. That's – ok." He retreats into the living room, taking the cookies with him. "I think I'll just watch some TV," he says, plunking down on the couch.

"Ok. Great," she smiles.

Robin walks back into her bedroom, securing the lock. A second later, the sounds of the first Star Wars can be heard through the door.

"Well?" Barney asks, sitting up in bed. "What happened? Does he know?"

"Oh, he knows I was getting busy, alright." She pauses, delivering the next part carefully deadpan. "He just thinks it was with a vibrator."

"You're kidding me." Barney bursts out laughing. "That is awesome."

"Yeah, for you, maybe."

"Oh, come on, Robin," he says, leveling her with a look that's pure amusement and pure sex and pure Barney. "Don't act all maidenly and offended. We both know you have one."

She thinks about denying it for a half a second, but this is Barney. He'll know she's lying and will probably search her room until he finds it. "So? Shut up."

He does that thing where he crinkles up his nose and nods and sniggers. A tingle slides down her spine and she melts a little inside. Whatever power he has over her, he has it good and well. She can't stop that tingle, can't stop that melting, even if she tries – she ought to know; she'd spent months doing just that.

Then his leering turns to amused confusion. "So why is Ted turning on the TV now?"

Robin gives him a sly look, moving closer to the bed. "He's trying to block out the noise….." He looks at her oddly. "…..Because I told him I'm not done yet."

His eyebrow shoots up. "You little, minx," he smirks, reaching for her.

She allows herself to be pulled into his arms, bends down to kiss him. "I told him that my 'vibrator' has some amazingly impressive stamina."

"Oh, he can go all night."

"I know he can," she agrees. "I can personally attest to the fact."

Barney unties her robe, watching it fall open, and Robin slowly slides it down her shoulders and onto the floor. He throws back the covers invitingly, proving to be more than ready for her, and she climbs into bed, straddling him.

His hand instantly lands on her hip, balancing her. Then his other hand goes traveling, making her moan, and the TV suddenly gets louder in the living room. They look at each other and laugh.

"This could be fun," she says, running her hands over his abs and chest, heating them both with each stroke. She leans down slowly, inch by inch, and they both inhale sharply at the sensation of skin-to-skin, chest-to-chest.

"Mmm, Scherbatsky," he growls, pressing her to him, "you feel good." Their eyes lock for a moment, and she smiles, one he returns as automatically as breathing. "How about we make a game of it? Us versus the TV. See how long it takes us to get those little green bars filled."

Robin grins. "I'm all in. Make me scream, Barney," she whispers against his lips. She's expecting to be ravished, but instead he just looks at her, his expression soft and open. "What?"

"It's nothing…..I just….I've been waiting a really long time to hear you say that."

She laughs. " 'Make me scream'? Really? That's what does it for you?" He quirks his head unrepentantly. "I wanted to say that a long time ago. I mean, that first time…it was really good."

"Yeah, it was. It was awesome."

"I've wanted you a lot of times since then – and before, if I'm being honest." At that, he looks pleasantly surprised. "That night you and Ted faked the fight at MacLaren's – I wanted to be all over you."

Barney sucks in a breath through his teeth. "You don't know how tempted I was to run a play on you that night. But, somehow, it didn't seem right."

She kisses him then, long and deep, her fingers tunneling through his hair. "That's because you'd never take advantage of me."

"Oh, I'm about to take all kinds of advantage of you."

Robin smiles. "It's not taking advantage if I'm asking you."

His face turns to pure sex. "Are you? Are you asking for it, Robin?" Then in a softer, earnest, impossibly endearing voice, he pleads, "Say it. Please say, 'I'm asking for it'."

He's so easy; a few cheesy phrases and he's gone – but then she supposes that's what comes from watching too much porn. She shakes her head and laughs before pointing out the obvious. "I'm naked and sprawled on top of you. Barney, I'm begging for it."

"In that case – " He arches his hips up into her and she gasps. Then his mouth takes hers, his tongue hot and teasing, as he flips them over, pressing her beneath him. "Let's get that volume up to max."

"Barney Stinson," she says, stretching out underneath him, "make me scream."

"I was planning on it," he winks, bending his mouth to her chest. "Just be careful not to scream my name," he says around a mouthful of Robin. "I know it's hard."

She shimmies against him. "Yeah, it is." He grunts, his fingers biting into her, and she smiles, pleased. "You be careful not to scream my name."

"Don't worry about me, Scherbatsky. This is your performance." Proving his point, he moves just right, making her cry out – and the TV goes up further. They laugh, and then continue.

And when the headboard starts smacking against the wall, the volume on Star Wars hit its maximum.

The next morning, Robin meets a fully dressed Ted coming out of the bathroom.

"Big night last night, huh?" he asks, a hint of sleepy sarcasm lacing his tone.

She shrugs nonchalantly.

"I was just glad when the battery wore out around 5am."

"Actually, I fell asleep first."

He scoffs, reaching for his briefcase, getting ready to head out.

"I know. It was hard for me to believe, too."

"Well, multiple – what did Barney call it – 'Oh Canada faces' will do that to you, I guess."

She gives him a look of satisfied agreement, but says nothing. There's a space of silence. Ted opens his mouth but then closes it again, and she thinks he's going to go. But then he stops, his hand poised on the knob. "You know, other than that Thanksgiving of the four times, it was never like that with us when we were dating….A less secure man might be a little jealous."

Robin's eyes shoot to her bedroom, knowing Barney is awake, waiting for Ted to leave – and likely listening at the door. "Ted –

"I mean, that's water under the bridge. I get it. I'm just curious…..What does that thing do for you that I di –

"Ted, trust me," she interrupts, knowing the last thing Barney needs is a first-hand account that she finds him a better lay than his 'best friend' – although she kind of suspects he already knows as much. "You really don't want to talk about this now."

"I'm just saying…." He shakes his head thoughtfully. "That's one impressive piece of plastic. Or is it rubber?"

"Goodbye, Ted."

Twenty seconds after the door closes, she feels Barney come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist, remarkably alert and awake for a man who's just spent the majority of the night making athletically passionate love to her…..and, from the feel of it, is apparently ready for more.

"So, Ted couldn't quite do it for you like the Barnacle, hmm?" he asks, and she can hear the smug laughter in his voice

"Barney, we are not going to play 'let's compare'."

"Too late. We already did that last week."

Robin looks over her shoulder at him. "I thought that was playing doctor."

"Same thing."

She smiles. "That was a good one."

"It was." He pulls her closer, moving a hand up to fondle her. "How about we hit the shower – together, of course – and then we do brunch?"

"Mmm….." Robin sighs hungrily, and Barney nudges them over to the bathroom, his mouth finding her neck. "…..pancakes." He looks at her sharply, semi-offended that moan was not for him. "What? I'm Canadian. I love the syrup."

He gives her a leering grin as they enter the bathroom, locking the door behind them just in case. "I'll steal us a bottle," he promises, turning her around to face him. "That guy…. that Snow Boot guy – "

"Shoe. Snowshoe."

"He obviously didn't explain it right." Barney has her robe off and on the counter and a millisecond later his boxers hit the floor. "A hundred dollars says I can make you love an Old King Clancy."

"Funny thing about that story…." Robin laughs, pulling him into the shower with her.

AN: I gave a shout-out in this chapter to episode 6.05, to explain what it is Robin likes to do in bed that made Max so uncomfortable (which Barney refused to reveal to Marshall in the locker room).

I plan on doing a chapter for each month of their secret summer together, with some extras at the end to tie it up. So this was June. There's still July, August, and two for September (cause it was a big month for them!) to go, along with an epilogue.