It's Saturday afternoon and Robin's lying boneless and satisfied in Barney's bed while the pair enjoy a post-coital cigar. It's only four o'clock, but Barney's bedroom never allows any natural light in. She thinks of it as a kind of sensual bat cave – ooh, a sex-cave – all mood lighting and expensive fabrics and pure, carnal pleasure. She has to admit she likes it. But if she could see out the window, she knows she'd see the leaves beginning to slowly fall and swirl in the air. They're barely a few days into September, but it's starting to get a little bit cooler in New York. She loves fall in the city, but the summer went by so fast. It's surprising to realize it's already gone.
Now that it is September, Ted's been busy worrying over the start of classes in a few weeks, and Marshall and Lily are all excited for the beginning of apple picking season. With the whole group otherwise distracted, it was easy last night to pass off her early exit as a "blind date" set-up from a friend at work. It was just as easy for Barney to convince them he was hooking up with some girl he picked up at McLaren's last week. In reality, they met outside the bar five minutes later and were already kissing by the time Barney's feet cleared the last step up to the sidewalk. They barely made it through the cab ride to his place; the driver definitely got an eyeful.
And they've been holed up in his apartment ever since. They stopped to eat, to shower, to watch a little TV, but they keep winding up right back in the same place again: Barney's oversized bed. Over the summer, it quickly became one of Robin's favorite places, mostly for the privacy they have here but also because its massive size allows for creativity and athleticism her bed simply can't comfortably support. Plus she really likes the feel of silk sheets against her bare skin.
Then there's the man himself. Nothing she's ever experienced can compare to an afternoon spent in bed with Barney. The way he looks into her eyes right before he kisses her. The way he whispers sweet, filthy nothings in her ear. About how he's never known anyone like her before; about how smart, and funny, and independent, and generally awesome she is; of exactly what he's about to do to her, in slow explicit detail –which somehow makes it even hotter when he actually does it.
Robin's mouth stretches into a lazy smile just thinking about it, and she takes a puff off the Cuban, blowing a perfect smoke ring down the bed before handing it back to Barney. It still amazes her how she's always been so anti-sharing and yet she easily shares anything with Barney – food, drinks, cigars. She's already sharing all of her body and so much of herself with him that freaking out over those little things just seems silly to her now.
Barney grins as he takes the cigar, drawing from it while he reads her expression. "What are you thinking about that's got that weird, contemplative look on your face? You're not Tedding-out are you?"
"No. Never. I was just thinking about sharing things," she says, scootching up on her elbow. When he gives her a confused look, she adds, "You know, just the one cigar."
"Ahh. Is this like a food sharing thing? Because I've got more where that came from if it bothers you," he teases, knowing all about her past foibles but also knowing, for some reason, this doesn't freak her out. They've been sharing an after-sex cigar in his bed at least one a month now for the entire the summer.
"No, one'll do," she answers, leaning down over him. "But it's my turn." She reaches up and snatches it away, flopping back down onto the pillow beside him. Then she brings the cigar to her lips, breathing it in with a sigh, and Barney laughs.
From the table beside the bed, the soft little ping of Robin's phone announcing a new text momentarily breaks the spell. That's the fourth little ping in the past fifteen minutes. It's probably Ted, looking for her, wondering if she's okay; or Lily, wanting details on her 'date', which has obviously been a success. If they play their cards right, they can milk this 'Robin's seeing a new guy' thing for at least two, three weeks, maybe more. In their over-the-summer experience, that's always proved the quickest and easiest way to guarantee more uninterrupted nights and days like this one.
It's actually pretty amazing that none of them have found out already. Secrets never last long in their little group, and honestly Barney's surprised no one has figured it out by now. They're good. They're careful. But, to put it nicely, they're also very passionate, which leads to the occasional impulsive slip-up – like doing it against the door in Marshall and Lily's bathroom during Marshall's thirty-first birthday party. He could've sworn he saw Lily give them an odd look when they snuck back into the room, but she never said anything.
Sometimes he wonders how much longer they can realistically keep this a secret. Whatever this thing is between them, it shows no signs of stopping. Not that he ever wants it to, but as hot as the sneaking around is there are nights when Robin has to go back home, or Barney has to slip silently out of her apartment under the cover of darkness, where he really wishes they could just be done with all the lying and openly have each other. After all, they aren't doing anything wrong.
"You gonna answer that?" he asks, nodding towards her phone.
"Nope."
She slinks further down into the covers. He can feel the soft skin of her thigh brush against his, and that makes him sigh more than any cigar ever could. Reaching a hand beneath the sheets, he dances his fingers over her midriff.
Barney looks into her eyes then and kisses her softly, and it does something to Robin; makes her feel warm and bright, makes her heart swell and pick up a little with a thrill of…..well, pure happiness. And as clichéd, and cheesy, and Ted-like as it sounds in her head, she just can't help thinking this moment is absolutely perfect.
"Today's been awesome, Barney," she says, passing him back the cigar. She chuckles and her voice takes on a suggestive tone as she adds, "Even better than the night of the party."
He grins. "Yeah…..that was good times."
Earlier that week, Come On, Get Up New York! had thrown Robin a party to mark six months on the job with ratings up to an all-time high. It was honestly a silly little show, nowhere near the hard-hitting news she'd always dreamed of reporting, but still she was proud. And she'd really wanted Barney there with her, for reasons she didn't care to examine – he was responsible for her getting the job to begin with; that was the one she chose to go with. In order to accomplish that without arousing suspicions, she had to invite the whole gang. They seemed perplexed at why they were being asked to come, and frankly a little annoyed, but were close enough friends to know it was an obligation. Marshall and Lily and Ted made cursory appearances, but after they left Barney stayed – much to the annoyance of Ryan, her producer.
"You know, I really don't like that guy," Barney announces petulantly, clearly following the same train of thought as she was.
"Who, Ryan?" she asks, knowing full well that's who he means.
"Yes, Ryan. What kind of a name is that?"
"A perfectly normal one." When he scoffs, she can't resist teasing him just a little. "I don't know, Barney. He's always been nice to me, very sweet."
"Psh, yeah," he counters, the disdain clear in his voice. "That's cause he wants to get in your pants."
Robin smiles proudly. "Yeah, he does," she owns it happily. After all, having a guy – especially an attractive successful one – that interested in you always has a way of stroking a girl's ego. But Barney glowers, and so she adds, "Of course, he knows I've never been interested in him." He brightens at that and she smiles, pleased and amused that he's so transparently jealous. "It really bugs him too." She runs a hand over his chest, her palm curling over his pec the way they both love. "And knowing I'm sleeping with you drove him crazy that night."
Barney's eyes change from hazily enjoying her touch to wide-eyed alertness. "Wait, how does he know we're sleeping together?" He looks over at her with slight trepidation, ready to plead his innocence. "I didn't tell him. I swear."
Robin laughs. "No one told him, Barney, but you were all over me whenever he came by. At one point he tried to say 'hi' and you put your hand on my ass. Kind of gave it away."
It had reminded her of being back in Canada, watching two bull moose spar over a female, but it made her feel good – and was weirdly way hot to see Barney react that way. The sex that night was amazing.
"Yeah, well, he is way beneath your level of awesomeness. The sooner he figured that out, the better."
"No arguments here," she agrees, stretching up and kissing him.
Barney reaches over to snub out their cigar, setting it on the night table. Giving her an easy smile, he uses both now-free hands to pull her close. Robin comes readily, snuggling under his arm. They fit together perfectly and, god, lying bare pressed against him never gets old.
His lips brush over her forehead, her temple, as his hands ghost lower and lower over her back. With them, this sort of cuddling always leads to more, and she's ready and waiting for him to ease her into it, but after only a few minutes of holding her she feels him start to pull away.
"What – Where are you going?"
"To get us some scotch," he answers. His mouth finds hers and lingers in a way that really makes her ready for him to ease her into it.
"Okay," she concedes, because scotch does sound pretty good about now. "But then come back to bed."
Barney smiles at that, smiles at her. He spent a full year waiting and longing for Robin to want him even just a little, and now she's lying warm and tousled in his bed, eagerly awaiting his return. It doesn't escape him that – to borrow her oft repeated favorite word – it's literally a dream come true.
He pulls back the covers and gets out of bed and she watches him leave the room, naked and unabashed: broad, muscled back; trim hips; tight butt, so tight under her fingers. From their first meeting, she'd always thought Barney Stinson was attractive. Sleeping with him that first time, years later, really drove the point home. Still, it's nothing to now that she knows his body so intimately. In the beginning, she'd thought it was just because it was new, this sexual side of their relationship, finally being free to be with him that way, to release the pent-up lust for him she'd been carrying for longer than she could even pinpoint. But by now she's been with him countless times and that crazy, sometimes uncontrollable desire for more hasn't faded in the least.
Only last week, the three of them – Barney, Robin, and Ted – were having a movie night at the apartment. While Ted hurried out to the sports bar on a hot wings run – her idea – she attacked Barney right there on the couch. It was hot, rough, frantic, and oh so satisfying, and she'd only just climbed off of him and straightened her skirt when Ted came walking back through the door.
And just the day before yesterday, Robin found she couldn't wait and called Barney to the apartment in the middle of the day. He normally didn't mind skipping out of work, but at the time he had an important meeting with some kind of totalitarian government, probably the North Koreans – it seemed to always be the North Koreans. She promised him she'd make it worth his while, and indeed she did. She met him at the door wearing nothing but a thong and almost perfectly circular butter cream pasties; she's spread it on herself so it was a little hard to tell. And that wasn't the only thing that was hard that afternoon….and into the evening. It was risky being together in the apartment to begin with – Ted could've come home, even Marshall and Lily; they all had keys – and especially to keep at it for so long, but they just couldn't help themselves. It would be so much simpler if they didn't have to hide this from their friends.
Her thoughts get interrupted when Barney comes back in, brandishing a bottle of scotch but only one glass.
"More sharing?" Robin laughs. She finds it a bit odd, but doesn't really mind when there's a full bottle at their disposal.
He shakes his head, a depraved look on his face. "The glass is for you. For what I have in mind, I don't need one."
He sets hers on the night table and sits down on the bed. Taking hold of the top of the sheet, he pulls it all the way back, baring her body to him. At first he just looks, because he too can't get enough, then he uncaps the bottle.
"What are you going to do with it?" Robin asks, and even she can hear the anticipation in her voice. Her body's already burning and he hasn't even touched her.
"I'm gonna start right here," he says, pouring it into her navel. Setting the bottle aside, he lies down beside her, bending his open mouth to her body to lap at it with his tongue before sucking it out.
That, of course, leads to further tasting, and soon they're laughing and kissing and rolling across his bed. Him on top, then her, then him, until they finally stop with Robin lying over him – because Barney's more than happy to have her naked and draped across him.
She drops kisses along his jaw, neck, and chest before returning to his mouth, her tongue sliding inside to find his. "Mmm," she murmurs, kissing him deeply. "You taste like cigars and scotch and….Barney." She kisses him again, savoring the flavor. "You taste like Barney," she sighs.
And now it's his turn to nibble at her neck, his hands sliding down to knead her ass, until she suddenly pulls back. Propping up on her hands, she looks down at him thoughtfully. "Barney, do you ever….."
She stops abruptly, causing him to look up at her questioningly. He can see the hesitancy clear on her face. "What?" he softly prompts, his fingers smoothing her hair.
"Do – do you ever regret lying to everyone? I mean, was it the right thing to do? Do you ever feel bad about it?"
Barney thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, I don't regret it. This has been the best summer of my life."
Robin smiles and slides off of him to lie side by side. "Mine too."
"Yeah?" he asks, and she can tell he's pleased to hear her say it.
"Yeah, it really has been."
"And if we told them they'd be all like, 'Define the relationship'." He cringes.
"'Have the talk'." She rolls her eyes.
"We don't need any of that," he says, his arms encircling her and drawing her against him. "We're perfectly happy the way we are." Then Barney's hit with a sudden flash of uncertainly. After all, in his experience having the talk and defining the relationship is what all women secretly want, even if they won't admit it at first. Maybe he's digging himself a hole here…. "Aren't we?" He looks to her, anxious over her response, preparing himself for a blow-up.
But, instead, she rubs against him provocatively and grins. "Yeah, we are."
He gazes over at her in relief and pure admiration, because she's so much better than other women. "See, this is why I love you, Robin." He smiles warmly, gives her that look that always makes her melt, and the moment stretches between them, because he said it like a joke but they both know he means it.
Then it's back to his Barney face. "Time for another round," he proclaims, letting her go to reach into the night table drawer. He pulls out a thin piece of silk. "Blindfold or bondage? Your pick."
She shakes her head and laughs. "This is why I love you."
Barney stops, all at once serious. "You do?"
Robin hadn't meant for that to slip out. She shrugs, smiling, hoping he'll let it go at that, but he raises an eyebrow, still waiting for an answer.
And the look on his face is too earnest, too adorable to give him anything less than the truth. "Yeah," she breathes. And though she's not exactly saying the words, she means it with all her heart.
His eyes twinkle down at her, and without a word he slides down her body. She gasps when she feels his mouth on her, soft and warm and hungry. "No, this is why you love me," he counters with a lustful grin. Then he sets to work proving just that.
Late that night after she finally answers her texts, claiming her date went so well she's staying the full weekend with him, Robin falls asleep – a two A.M. job and lots of great sex will do that – but Barney's still awake, watching her. She really is beautiful when she sleeps, peaceful, and he can't believe how lucky he is. Sure, he's banged super models and the occasional celebrity. But Robin isn't just hot. She's a woman of quality. Breathtaking, smart, funny – the whole package. And she keeps inviting him back into her bed day after day, night after night. He isn't sure how he's managed it, but he's fallen into something truly legendary.
The minutes wear on and he continues to simply watch her sleep. It gives him the rare opportunity to just look at her without worrying that she'll find it weird or off-putting. He studies her features with the eyes of a man who knows her well, and she does look beautiful. Beautiful but tired, and for her sake he's glad tomorrow is Sunday and she can sleep in as long as she likes; he promises himself he won't wake her for sex before that – even if she sleeps until noon.
She makes a small murmuring sound and resettles herself against him. More like half atop him. In the three and a half months of sleeping with Robin, both figuratively and literally, after the first few tentative weeks of settling into the newness of Barney and Robin, they've fallen into a habit of gentle cuddling – something Barney had never done before with a woman. When the sex was done so was the touching. But, with Robin, it just feels….right. Sometimes they'll go for hours, other times just the once, but afterwards it always just seems natural to spoon up behind her, his arm slung loosely over her hip. Or, some nights, she'll reach down and take hold of his hand, drawing it up against her chest – which is great because, hey, that's his favorite part of her…well almost. That's how they usually fall asleep but often not how they stay asleep. In the night, they'll roll apart, find a position of comfort. After all, sleep is sleep and no one takes it personally.
But, up until now, it's been nothing like this blatant possessiveness, even if she isn't aware of what she's doing. She's strewn across him like a second blanket, her leg pulled up over his thighs, her torso mostly on top of his, her head resting against his chest like she thinks he's her pillow. It should make him feel trapped. It should make him feel smothered. It should make him feel panicked. But somehow it doesn't. Somehow, in someway he can't yet let himself say out loud, it just feels right. It just feels incredibly good.
After a reflexive squeeze of his pec – and a few unintentional strokes of her thigh across Little Barney, who as always perks right up to her touch – Robin stills again. He adjusts himself slightly to more comfortably support her weight. Her lips brush against his skin with the movement, and his heart immediately speeds up at the sensation. Still nothing, nothing in his whole life has even been sweeter than the feeling of Robin's breath blowing soft and warm and even across his chest. Barney smiles, wrapping his arms more tightly around her and closing his eyes to the world, feeling what can only be called contentment.
AN: There are three chapters left after this one, all taking place in the month of September. The next chapter I hadn't originally planned on but I just came up with an idea from re-watching Season 6's "Cleaning House" that I really wanted to play with. So that will be set about a week before the Season 5 premiere. The chapter after that will be right after the gang founds out about Barney and Robin and will be set during the span of "Definitions". Then the epilogue will cap things off, set immediately after "Definitions" ends.