A/N- It's been awhile. Sorry guys! But I'm back! I know, some parts of this may seem random and confusing, but all fit in, I promise!

Surprisingly, I have nothing else to say. Except this- GO WATCH TOBUSCUS ON YOUTUBE! :D He rocks! Especially his lazy vlogs and literal trailers!

Benugan!

Merlin hurt.

Everything that happened- deaths, illnesses, attacks, betrayals, all of it- was his fault. He was an idiot manservant who did nothing right and could not be relied on. Arthur had once said he trusted the young man. But he didn't deserve it. Arthur thought there were no secrets between them, but a large portion of what Merlin did was a lie, hidden in the shadows. His magic was to blame and because he was born with it, it was ultimately his fault.

So Merlin ran. As fast as he could, he ran all the way to his room. There he packed a canteen full of water, a bowl, a plate, his two pairs of spare clothes including night wear, a blanket, a pain potion, his spell book, and a few rags and bandages. Somehow, he got everything but the water skin and the potion to fit in his small bag.

Merlin turned to leave but was hit with a sudden thought. If Arthur ever came in here, to perhaps search for his errant dogs body, he needed a way to tell the prince he was really gone. The young man knew he had both a red and blue neckerchief in his bag so he untied the one around his neck. Merlin laid the azure fabric on his bed carefully, spreading it out at the foot.

Through his faze Merlin had been unaware of everything except what he was doing. Now though, he realized Gaius was calling to him from the main room.

Pack in hand, Merlin came out and left the door slightly ajar. The physician stood at the bottom of the stairs looking as if he was about to go up.

"Merlin, my boy, are you alright? Has anything happened? Where were you last night?"

The warlock stepped down the stairs heavily and his bag became visible to Gaius. The physician stopped abruptly.

"What are you doing? Merlin?" There was so much sadness inn his ward's eyes, along with self-accusation and fierce determination.

Merlin placed hi free hand on Gaius' shoulder. "It will be alright," he said calmly. "I will be safe and I will still protect Arthur. Do not worry for me. All is well." The young man looked old for his age. Too old.

He walked over to the door and paused. The older man was staring at him in confusion and alarm. He slid his eyes to meet his gaze.

"Gaius. I will return. I promise.

Merlin ran.

PRATTARP

Only about five minutes later Arthur came into the room, not quite bursting but definitely not quietly.

Merlin?" he called, voice quavering. "Merlin, are you here?"

Gaius turned away from his books. He couldn't figure out what had happened and was hoping he could find a clue in his papers. He was surprised to see the prince come.

"Sire! What are you doing?

The prince surprisingly had slightly watery eyes. "Where's Merlin?" he choked out.

Gaius was taken aback at the emotion in the warrior's voice. "I'm not sure. Why?"

He soundlessly held out the letter, allowing the physician to grab it before he sprinted up the steps to his manservant's room.

Gaius watched as the prince disappeared into the backroom before unfolding the parchment. As he read, he began shaking in anger and sadness. Merlin wouldn't have done that, would he?

Just as the physician finished, Arthur reappeared at the top of the stairs. He stepped down heavily, grasping something with white knuckles.

Soundlessly, Arthur held out a blue scrap of fabric in shaking hands, eyes wide and skin pale.

Merlin's neckerchief.

"What the hell did you do, Arthur Pendragon?" Gaius exploded. "What did you say? What could you possibly have done to make Merlin LEAVE?"

Tears glistened in the prince's eyes. "I didn't mean to," he whispered.

"Well, that doesn't matter! Now he's gone!""

Arthur clutched the neckerchief to his chest and bowed his head. "I'm sorry.

Gaius turned his back to the distraught young man. "I hope you're happy with what you've done," he spat. "Good day, sire."

The prince watched with glistening eyes as Gaius left, slamming the door behind him.

IDIOTTOIDI

Merlin settled down, resting his back against the cool stone. Under his breath he muttered a spell to keep him unnoticeable to anyone who happened to stumble upon him.

He wished he didn't have to do this. It hurt the young man to thing that Arthur had actually said those words, yet he knew they were true. Why else would the prince have said them? They obviously had some for-thought put into them.

And yet, Merlin still believed in his destiny.

Arthur would become the greatest king Camelot had ever known. There was no reason why he had to have the warlock right by his side. As long as he was protected, which Merlin would make sure of, there wasn't a need in the world for him.

The warlock brought out the bowl and filled it partway with water. "Dangoswch y llun o Arthur Pendragon," he whispered. He watched as an image of the prince appeared. He was standing in the physician's chambers as Gaius turned and left. The younger man flinched at the thunderous look in his eyes.

The prince held his neckerchief and was clutching it to his chest. Huh, Merlin thought. That worked better than I thought it would. Obviously Arthur knew he was gone.

With a wave of his hand, the image in the water disappered. Merlin sat back.

Was this the right thing to do?

PRATTARP

Arthur trudged back to his room, the piece of fabric held with white knuckles. He couldn't believe it. Finally, Merlin had had enough of him being an insolent jerk and left.

Once inside he slammed the door and leaned against it, head hitting the wood with a quiet thunk, eyes closed. It was not princely to cry, so that drop of water sliding down his cheek must have been from dust getting in his eye. Yeah, that was it. He was a prince, and he definitely wasn't crying.

Arthur made his way over to his desk and sat down heavily. What was he to do? He couldn't get a new servant. It wouldn't be right. There would be no more retorts, friendly advice, teasing, or sudden bursts of wisdom. It would be 'yes sire, no sire, is that all, sire?' There would be bowing and knocking and respect.

It wouldn't be the same.

Arthur got up and made his way to his bed. Not even bothering to take off his clothes, the prince crawled under his plush covers.

He didn't sleep a wink.

PRATTARP

The next morning the prince sat up, the azure neckerchief still clutched in his hands. He dressed slowly, before standing in front of the door to head down to breakfast with his father.

Arthur stopped at the door and looked at the scrap of fabric. He had to keep this. Had to remember Merlin.

The prince went back and smoothed out the neckerchief on his desk. He folded it into a long narrow strip before wrapping and tieing it around his right wrist.

Now he wouldn't forget.

He couldn't.

PRATTARP

Arthur made his way into the throne room slowly. Absently, his fingers fiddled with the neckerchief around his wrist. His feet dragged on the floor, his whole body slumped. It had been two weeks since Merlin had disappeared, and the yong man didn't know what to do.

His father stood at the head near his throne. "Arhtur," he automatically snapped. "What has gotten into you? You look a mess, you obviously haven't slept and it's as if you don't care anymore! You've fired fourteen manservants in the past two weeks, most of them as soon as they walk in the door!"

Arthur slowly lifted his head. Hies eyes were bloodshot and red, bruise-like bags hanging underneath. His hair was in disarray and his clothes rumpled as if slept in. The prince's once defiant gaze was dead and desolate. He was such a sight that the king took a step back.

"Arthur," he said again, more softly. "What happened to you?"

The prince shook his head. "I did this," he whispered. "It's my fault."

"What is?"

"Merlin's gone. And I can't bring him back."

Uther's eyes widened. "Your servant? That's what this is all about? He's just a servant, worthless!

"Yes!" Arthur flared up. "Yes, it is! It is about how I betrayed my best- and only, mind you- friend! He has stuck with me, saved my life, and has not been after power or money! And he is NOT worthless! I don't care what you think, I opened myself to him! He was the only one to know the real me, the side you never saw. The side you kept suppressed, telling me it was not of a prince to act as it. You've never seen the true me. And now, the only one who did, who understands, is gone because I was trying to be the person you wanted me to be. I lost him. I'm lost without Merlin." Tears glistened in Arthur's eyes and his voice cracked at the last sentence.

Uther stared at him. He… he never knew his real son? He had created a mask for his boy to hide behind? The truth hit the king hard. He didn't know his son. But apparently this boy did.

"Leave me," he said.

Arthur bowed his head and turned away. He couldn't deal with his father right now.

It wouldn't work anyways.

IDIOTTOIDI

Merlin sighed. He was disappointed in Arthur. Surely the prince would put it behind him and not let it show? But no, he had to finally turn into a sensitive man right now!

So, he leaned back and dispersed the image in the water. He would have to do something.

The warlock concentrated on a berry bush he remembered. Casting a quiet spell, the young man began eating the transported berries and flipped open his spell book.

Ah, he thought. This will do.

The warlock waited till nighttime before beginning his plan.

PRATTARP

Surprisingly, Arthur fell asleep that night.

He dreamed he was in a meadow. A figure appeared before.

"Arthur Pendragon. I must speak with you."

The prince's mouth fell open.

"Merlin?"

A/N- *smiles* Yeah, I couldn't help it. Cliffie!

Oh, and one of the teachers at my school is making a magazine! He's accepting short stories and poems and other things to put in there! I'm so excited! I'm sending in a short story, but kinda like Charles Dickens as it will be a continuing series! Yay! :D

Please review! I think my reviewers are dying! :'(

In the words of Tobuscus-

Peace off!

~L~