Aziraphale gently rocked the wailing shapeshifter baby. It seemed that some things aren't forgotten after six millenia and the proper way to hold a baby apparently was one of them. As he looked down at the small girl, he was reminded of Cat. Adam and Eve had named the girl after the animal that had wandered by their cave on the day she was born. It was no wonder that her descendants tended to be almost as fascinated by the creatures as she was, even going so far as to worship them at various points. His mind wandered back to those times, and he briefly found himself wondering once again what the result would have been if Father hadn't realized the dangers of inbreeding and quickly created more humans. He probably didn't want to know.
He really hoped that Crowley got here soon, the baby he was holding was starting to set off the others and he couldn't hold them all in this form, and his grace would hurt them if he tried to hold them in his true form.
He had kept the children with him because, he honestly didn't know what else to do. If he were back home, he could have taken the children to Lower Tadfield and had Adam sort them out. Here, he couldn't take them to Adam, because Adam didn't exist here or if he did, he was shielded from him. He had no idea who the current Antichrist was and whether he was friendly or not, or even if he was alive (he strongly suspected that the answer might be no). He couldn't take the children to an orphanage because, they would cause an almighty ruckus the first time they changed shape. He briefly considered leaving them at a church, but swiftly decided otherwise. He knew what religious people often did to things that they thought weren't "Of God". Even the most openminded of priests would hesitate to call a shapeshifter one of God's creatures, no matter how small and innocent it was.
As the infant's cries died down, a black American muscle car pulled up and one of the windows rolled down. The man on the other side looked like he was about to say something when his expression shifted to surprise.
"Aziraphale?" the man said, sounding slightly stunned.
It was in that moment, Aziraphale realized exactly why the man looked so familiar. He had been one of the humans with Castiel. He'd threatened him with a shotgun if he remembered correctly. He had no reason to expect the man to be any friendlier now.
Aziraphale didn't respond, he simply sent the infant in his arms to the first safe place he could think of that he was reasonably certain would exist in this universe. The other infants quickly followed, and so too did he. When he arrived at St. James' Park, the babies were staring at a rather sleepy looking duck, and a couple of men who may or may not have been spies - considering the fact that this was a different universe - were staring speculatively at the babies.
Aziraphale did a quick head count. All of the babies were accounted for, and there was an extra shed skin surrounding one of them who now looked a little like Crowley. He wouldn't have put it past a foreign agent to try walking off with one of the baby shapeshifters tucked in his coat. He'd seen one - from Belgium if he remembered correctly - walk off with one of the park's numerous ducks before, and the babies were only a little larger than a duck and far more interesting.
One of the men looked down at the can he was holding thoughtfully, then up at Aziraphale who was keeping half an eye on him while making sure that none of the babies crawled into the pond. He looked back down at the can again, and shrugged before pulling out a rosary and starting a Latin prayer that wasn't a Hail Mary or an Our Father. Once he was finished with the prayer, he dipped the rosary into the can's opening. He then got up, walked up to Aziraphale, and splashed him with...Holy...Orange soda?
&!&!&!&
Crowley stared down into the Pit. Sure enough, both Michael and Lucifer were down there, as was something else, two somethings actually. Two somethings that Michael and Lucifer were playing with in the way a young sociopath well on his way to becoming a Serial Killer played with the small animals he caught. Peering more closely without touching the sigils and seals meant to keep an angel - fallen or otherwise - inside the Pit, he attempted to see exactly what Michael and Lucifer were playing with.
They were human souls. Poor sods, he'd hate to be them right now.
No wonder this universe's Michael was in the Pit. Whether or not his sin had been Pride, he was just a little too much like his brother for anybody's taste.
One of the souls shrieked in agony as Michael started playing a new game.
Crowley hated that sound. He hated hearing as the damned were tortured, but this, this was a hundred times worse... If he could just make it stop...
Crowley studied the seals. They were only meant to keep angels and those of angelic stock from getting through. Human souls definitely weren't of angelic stock.
How to get them though? He couldn't get in or out, and if he could, there was no way he could pry them from the hands of the two strongest Archangels in creation.
Crowley watched as Michael started scrunching the soul he was playing with into a ball and got an idea.
Conjuring the wastebasket with the miniature basketball hoop was a snap. Literally. Drawing on the sigils that would keep the souls inside until he figured out what to do with them was a little trickier, as was getting his creation into the pit and getting Michael and Lucifer to notice it. Notice it they did. They laughed as they chucked the souls inside.
He quickly vanished from hell, hoping nobody was alerted by Michael and Lucifer's shrieks of anger when their toys vanished. He honestly didn't want to know what the hell they had been playing with that mess of blood bones and entrails that was smeared across the floor of the Pit.
That little rescue seemed all too easy. He just hoped that it didn't mean trouble later on, and that he hadn't just rescued the worst of the worst humanity had to offer. What did someone have to do to deserve being chucked into the Pit with Lucifer?
When he arrived at the spot where he left Aziraphale, he found Aziraphale and the children missing, and the two men they had encountered when they had first arrived in this universe circling the van. The taller one spotted him while he was trying to think of where Aziraphale might have gone and why.
There was something seriously off about the taller one. It was almost as if...
Effing Ineffability.
"Is one of these yours?" he asked as he held out the wastebasket with the souls inside.