This is just a little something that came into my head due to the incredibly crappy month I've been having.
This one-shot has no background story...it's just a bunch of words put together to hopefully make a minuscule amount of sense.
Enjoy!
Harvey couldn't take it anymore. The hurt. The stress. He was Harvey Specter. The one who didn't care about anything. The one without emotions, right?
Wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.
Everyone sees him as the tough guy. The guy that could handle anything. And after a while, he forced himself to believe that was true. He began telling people and himself that harvey Specter was immune to useless emotions.
Useless emotions like sadness, pain, darkness.
He believed it too. He would always tell himself to "snap out of it" anytime he felt like he was breaking down. He couldn't let himself fall. He couldn't collapse. He couldn't breakdown.
So why was he here in his office, crying up a storm.
Harvey silently thanked God that it was late and no one else was at the office. He laid his head on the desk and started silently sobbing.
He was always told he was a great lawyer. That everything he touched turned into gold. So why did he feel like a big failure? Why did he feel like everyone just viewed him as an irresponsible screw up that was a complete waste of life?
Because he messed up once? That doesn't seem fair.
When someone else messes up, they get let off easy. A slap on the wrist and everything's okay. Why didn't Harvey get a slap on the wrist? Why did he get the heat? Was he really that bad of a person? Did people really think that since he "had no emotion", that they could just step on him without even looking back?
Life isn't fair. Harvey knew that. Harvey strongly believed that. Life isn't fair...especially towards him.
Sure, Harvey has his amazing condo, a personal driver, and millions of dollars to his name. He's proud to admit that.
But did people think that just because he was wealthy, that he was always happy, no matter what?
What would people do if he died? Would they even cry? Would they miss him?
Harvey scoffed. No would miss him. Not even Donna. Why would they? Why would anybody?
Maybe Harvey should end it. Why not? He has nothing to leave behind. No one would miss him. No one would care. Just one less headache to think about. One less jerk to be around.
Harvey swallowed the lump in his throat. Suicide. Something he would have never thought of before until now. Were things really getting that bad?
Harvey looked around the room. The possibilities were virtually endless. A shiny letter opener laid on his desk. He was on the top story of Pearson/Hardman for crying out loud. If he really wanted to, he could end it. He could end it now...
He began reaching for the letter opener on his desk. The small object was sharp, and could get the job done.
There was a tiny knock on his door. Harvey jumped. He turned his head and saw Donna standing at the door.
Didn't Donna go home hours ago?
She let herself in.
"I thought you went home," was all Harvey could say. He stared as Donna walked over to him. What was she doing here?
"I wanted to make sure you were okay," she replied.
"Coulda called," Harvey said, wiping his eyes and hoping Donna hadn't seen any tears.
She shook her head. "Wouldn't be right," she responded. "You seemed down all day. I wanted to be here for you."
"Well I don't need it," Harvey snapped. He saw the hurt expression Donna wore on her face and suddenly felt guilty. "Donna...I'm sorry...I just..." he trailed off and sighed.
"What were you gonna do with that?" she asked, pointing to the letter opener in still in Harvey's hand. She grabbed and looked at it. "You don't have any mail so I just wondered..."
"Nothing," Harvey said, leaving it at that. He knew what Donna was trying to do, and he wasn't going to say anything.
"Harvey," Donna said, sighing. "I know something's wrong with you. You know you can tell me right?" She looked at him straight in the eyes, hoping to elicit a response from him, but she got nothing. She tried a different approach. "Even if you don't wanna tell me what's going on, just know that I'm here for you."
Harvey nodded. "Thanks," he finally said.
They remained quiet for a long time. Donna twirled the letter opener in her hand.
"I should probably get going," she finally said. "You should too."
Harvey watched as she made her way to the door. "Wait," he said. He got up from his seat and walked up to her. "Thank you...for everything." He pulled her into a hug, and they held on.
When they separated, Harvey said good night to Donna and watched her walk out. As he made his way back to his desk, he realized something.
Donna cared. She noticed that something was wrong with him. She tried to comfort him. And that's when Harvey realized something else.
Someone actually cared about him.
Some Harvey angst for ya!
How'd you like that?