** A/N ** I hope the last chapter didn't put you off, but it felt a necessary step, to show Jeremy being so overwhelmed by his drug/blood problem that he became a completely different person. It was a really nice feeling writing about Klaroline though...Love those two! The last chapter was really long, so this is going to be a short one, but the Stefan/Jeremy pairing really begins here, so more psychological less action.

CHAPTER 05 - Why Not?

I sat dejected, huddled on a large armchair by the old gothic fireplace in the Salvatore's home. Damon was ironically with my sister at my old house and Stefan had to go and help repair the damage I had done over at the Mikaelson mansion, so I was all alone once more, but this time it was entirely my own fault.

I was tossing my phone around, waiting for it to ring, either it would be Elena for the millionth time, calling to ask why I was mad at her and what she had done to deserve any of this, or it would be Stefan with news of Caroline. Poor, sweet Caroline Forbes, who couldn't hurt anyone and I'd done that to her. Being a vampire, the memory was stronger and in heightened tragic detail. Klaus was right, I shouldn't be around anyone I could hurt like that, only the worst kind of monster would do that to his best friend.

Ripper, ripper, ripper, ripper...the word kept going round in my head, unfortunately in my own accent rather than Klaus', but it was still an ugly word and I had no idea about how I would be able to escape it. I managed to drift off to sleep with the lullaby of my own imagined chanting but sleep was not a good idea.

I was woken by Stefan kneeling in front of me, still in the armchair. I groggily looked out the large paned windows and saw the sunlight shining into the room, like rays of hope at the start of a new day. It was weird but I swear they shone around Stefan like he was Jesus, or something.

"Stefan?" I straightened up and seeing my phone, asked, "How's Caroline?"

"She is now much better than the state she was in last night. I got there just before she began to desiccate, thank God, or Klaus would have had you strung up. When I got there with the blood she looked like you'd used her to sharpen your fangs and that was after Klaus said that she'd healed a bit, so I would have hated coming home to what he must have." My face creased with all the feeling of regret and shame that I felt at my actions.

"Jer, he doesn't really blame you, he blames himself more than anyone. Once she can speak again, she'll come and see you." Now it was Stefan whose face contorted with pain. "I should have been around. We shouldn't have left you to Caroline to sort out like that, I guess, we forgot that you're the only one young enough to be able to hurt her and what with her being with Klaus, we thought there was no way you'd ever get close to anything."

"Well, that worked out well, didn't it?" I retorted sarcastically.

Stefan looked at me with sympathetic eyes. With caution, he said, "Last night, Klaus also said something to me which worried me a lot. He said that you wanted to leave town because you thought you were too much of a danger. Now, please, tell me you can see how that would be a really, really bad idea."

"Why? Why would it be a bad idea? I'd be able to leave town, find a cave somewhere in the middle of nowhere and I wouldn't have hundreds of people within my grasp whom I could kill. I could be Jeremy the Hermit Ripper."

Stefan tried his best to suppress a smile, "Jeremy the Hermit Ripper?" he chuckled, "Been talking to Klaus much? You're starting to talk like him…"

I shrugged off his obvious attempt to change the subject away from my plans, "Anyway, why shouldn't I be away from people? I thought you, with your let's protect people agenda and your defeatist attitude, would think I was doing the right thing and back me up."

"No, Jeremy, just because I occasionally resort to taking it upon myself to safeguard people and keep them away from vampires, does not mean I think it would be good for anyone for you to disappear off to some faraway place and be a…Hermit Ripper!" He grimaced; realising there was no other better suited term for what I wanted to be.

"What you need is just more help controlling your urges and getting used to drinking human blood without it consuming your whole life and taking over your personality, which it clearly did last night and it went unchecked and then Caroline, as the nearest person was on the receiving end of the consequences."

I tried to interject, but he raised his hand to stop me, "The only – and I mean, the only – way for you to get through this is for you to be around people you know and love and who love you, who have centuries of knowledge and experience to talk you through it and who have the centuries of vampire strength to restrain you, should you struggle with your control." He paused and looked at me gravely, "Will you swear to me that you won't run away? That you'll stay and give me another chance to help you? I won't let you down this time, Jeremy. That I promise you."

I saw the passion and the intensity in his face, his expression betraying all the need he felt to rectify what he saw as his mistake, that I had ravaged Caroline to within an inch of her life. I saw that he cared for me and that he would do everything in his power to help me survive. The hazel orbs of his eyes sucked me in and made me trust him, regardless of whether I wanted to trust him or not. The tension of the silence that gripped the room opened the door in my soul for some unspoken feelings and desires, for what happened next all happened in a blur.

My eyes, as they had only hours before, went black and the veins protruded angrily from my pale skin. I anticipated baring my fangs ready for the kill and the blood, but it did not happen. The only thing different was my eyes.

Stefan looked shocked at the speed my face changed, but noticed the absence of my fangs. His own eyes darkened and I looked into the blackness and saw myself and all the repressed desires. He looked sad to me and I wanted to comfort him and be with him and show him he was not alone in the self-loathing that came with the vampire territory, that I felt it too.

With my new vampire speed, I powerfully crushed my lips to his. I kissed him breathlessly and full of passion. My hands grasped his hair and pulled him closer, needing to be as close to him as possible. I felt him lose the initial resistance at my advance and relax into the kiss and I pushed my tongue between his soft lips and felt the mingling of our lips, his meeting mine with an equal appetite. His arms wrapped around my waist and he grasped the fabric of my still blood-stained shirt, almost tearing it off my back.

The intensity of the moment stunned me and was part of my vampire personality's actions, now that I had regained my control and understood what had just happened, I pulled away at once.

I laid my hands gently on his shoulders, softly pushing him away so I could look into his eyes. We explored the emotions of each other by searching through the depths of one another's eyes. In that moment, it was clear we had passed the point of no return – there was only one way we could go, and the way I saw it, only one way we wanted to go…