Ok so this is part 5 of the crack fic!

Featuring shout outs for Kurenai-she is an awesome troll finder,Fox CB,Shoetingstar whose long awaited RileyStreet fic Chord is jonesing over,Samycede32 (Briellableu) author of The CEO's Assistant and the awesome fics Magnetic by Downbytheriver and My Guardian Dear by IxAMxDECADENCE

Thank you so much for your reviews and alerts...can't believe it has had as many as it has considering it truly is a Crack!fic...Massive hugs and loves to my gleeforum pals..xxxx

Song Kevin sings in honour of the missing Ducky is Donna by Ritchie Valens.

The idea of Chord and Mark writing a song for Amber comes from the pic of the two of them on vacation playing guitar together.

Magnetic Panties

The next day, on a ranch somewhere in Texas poor Mark is at his wit's end babysitting and phone-policing Chord...

Chord:Ok (clicking ) Right we're at the sign in screen...umm what do I do?

Kevin: Pick a name you fool!

Chord: Can't I just use my own name?

Kevin: Mark! Smack him for me! Do you even know the meaning of the word undercover?

Chord: Ok...Well there's a love4cedes...what about a love4chord?

Kevin:NO

Mark:NO

Chord: Ok...look here's xoSamcedesloverxo...what about xoChordloverxo

Kevin:Fool! Forget using your own name!

Mark: What about Puckthesexshark?

Kevin:Idiots! I have to go meet Amber at the studio...just...try to keep out of trouble...these chicks here are like sharks smelling blood in the water...they can spot at troll at 50 paces...especially Kurenai and Shae. Trust me, you do not want Kurenai suspecting you're a troll...she'll blow you out that forum quicker than you can say Dixie I'm gone keep an eye out for Ducky...she's my soulmate...(sings)oh Ducky, woh Ducky...I had a girl...Ducky was her name..since she left me I've never been the same...

Chord: Wait...what? You're going where?

Kevin: You know Amber done wants mah bodeh!

Chord:If you were here I'd-

Kevin:Yeah, yeah Chicken Boi!

Chord:...(speechless)

Kevin: Laters! (Hangs up)

Chord: That is so wrong! Worse than Metta World Dick!

Mark:You know he gon get his mack on...what? Just saying...McRiley has a nice ring to it...

Chord:RileyStreet trumps that shit, dude! The only thing he'll be mackin' on is my fist!

Mark:You know that sounds kinda kinky...right?

Chord:Shut the hell up and help me think of something!

Mark:How about DaPantydropper? Or Dapantywhisperer? Wait I've got it...DaPantymelter!

Chord:Yeah real subtle...

Mark: Only cos you keep quoting that Temptation fic...

Chord:What? I'm a sadhappygirl fangirl..so what..don't judge me! Wait I've got it!(typing)

Mark:What? What? WHAT?...Ohhhh...that's too genius dude...He ain't gonna like that!

Chord: Serves him right for putting the moves down on my girl...I mean casting shade on that desiccated ostrich I call girlfriend ...(Typing) D-r-u-i-d-d-u-d-e-l-o-v-e-r...Password? W-a-n-k-y. There! Gleeforum here I come!

Mark:Remember what Kev said, man. Be subtle...good trolls are quiet ones...

Chord:Dude, its me...what the hell could go wrong?

2 Hours Later

Mark (screams) Abort!Abort!Abort!

Chord: Shit how do you edit this thing! Fuck! Oh shit! Okay am correcting it now...shit don't know how to erase...gah! All I did was ask them why they throw chicken shade at Emma...

Mark: ( Reading) "Because someone I think Lady B posted an article where the Paps had taken pictures of her car and she had the things she stuffs her shirts with in there and they looked like undercooked chicken breast/tenders and we took it from there and have come up with some great names. Best one yet was Smokin Kebob after we saw a pic of her smoking I think Anni came up with that one" Fuck me these chicks are brutal! Bwahahaha undercooked chicken tenders...lord love it! Why did you not leave that the hell alone when you had your answer! Why comment back at Vangiefan...she was just dropping truth bombs yo! But no you and your ass hattery sense of humour land us in shit again! "Ok right. Smokin Kebob lol! I've tried to tell her a hundred times it's not good for you!" Are you insane! Kevin is going to kill you! And then what did you add? In the words of Lady B and Anni nothing but waste foolishness.
"Sorry I meant to say my sister smokes and I've tried to tell her a hundred times it's no good for her! but I suppose when you see people like that smoking it makes it cooler for the kids?" You be a true moron!

Chord:Dude, chill. Did you see my slickness? I just made out like it was a mistake...

Mark:You're just lucky that Kurenai chick wasn't there...she scares me stupid and I haven't even met her...dude she would've ripped us a new one...(drops voice to a whisper)keep an eye on that Shae though...I think she's side-eyeing you!

Chord:They like me Mark...(fangirl clapping) I've got 18 likes!

Mark:That's 18 wasted likes somebody will never get back!

Chord: Dude, I've been lurking in the fanfiction thread...do you think it'd be ok if I sent Sammycede32 a message?

Mark:Who?

Chord:The chick who writes The CEO's Assistant..I love that fic...(sighs dreamily)Almost as much as I love Magnetic...

Mark: Idiot! You're supposed to be undercover!( watches Chord tapping away on the keyboard furiously) What are you doing?

Chord: I'm sending a message to Shoetingstar!

Mark :(wrestling him away from the laptop)What the fuck for?

Chord: I wants my Rileystreet fanfic and I wants it NOW! GIVE ME IT!

Mark:You've done lost the plot...I think that diseased turkey gizzard has given you bird flu...

Chord:Ugh..do you have to mention her? Can't we talk about anything else instead?

Mark: Like what, fool!

Chord:Like how awesome My Guardian Dear is...

Mark: (thwacks Chord around the earhole)If I have to tell that squawking dead dodo that you're on the toilet one more time when she calls...I'm sure she doesn't believe me judging from the incessant chicken scratching I can hear at the end of the line...dude if she could she'd stick her beak right through the receiver and peck my lying eyes out!

Chord: (cell phone ringing) Its her! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! GET RID OF IT!BEGONE FOWL BEAST! (shoves cell at Mark and cowers behind his bed)

Mark: (answering call) Yes? No...he's still in the bathroom...of course I ain't lying...(mutters )you pigeon toed hoe..(louder)I said he'll call you back for sho! No I don't know how long he'll be (mutters again)stank chicken fried rice..(pulls phone away from ear and Chord winces hearing Emma's shrill bird cawing. Louder) I said I saw your pics, you look nice..(click).she hung up ...

Chord:Phew...

Mark: Dude as they are always saying on that forum, you need to toss that shit on the fit for pet food pile...Chord, are you even listening?

Chord:Shhhh! I'm reading Fox's fic recommendations...she's all kinds of shiny...(hero worshipping tone)

Mark: Fuck me dude...I think you've finally grown a vagina!

Chord: Quick! Grab your guitar...we gonna write a song for Amber...

Mark: Lawd above!

Chord:I'm going to call it...I Made Your Magnetic Panties Fall Off

Mark: Cheesus take da wheel!