A/N: Another Everlark fic. Look at me go. I feel terrible for abandoning my Harry Potter fics but I'm stuck with Everlark on my mind at the moment. I hope you enjoy this! It's in Peeta's point of view and a bit shorter than the previous two but there you go. I'm sort of working on a new one but who knows how that will turn out. Thank you for all the reviews so far!
The bed was cold. That was the first thing he noticed when he woke. After years of sleeping in the same bed and sharing their warmth, the chill that met his hands when he reached out shocked him for a moment. His eyes flew open and took a second to adjust to the low light of the early morning before he realised she wasn't in the room. He panicked for a second trying to remember how many weeks she had left but he was sure the baby wouldn't be arriving yet and even if it was, Katniss wouldn't leave the room to give birth on her own. But still, debating whether or not to get up and search for her only took a moment before he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The cold floor made him shiver and he wished then that he slept in something more substantial than a thin pair of pyjama bottoms. The floorboards creaked slightly as he crept across their bedroom and peered into the small bathroom to find it empty. The bedroom door was slightly ajar and he moved towards it, sticking his head outside.
"Katniss?" He whispered into the darkness and when there was no reply, Peeta thought for a second. Her nightmares had been recurring less and less lately, a big difference compared to her first pregnancy. She still had them, along with the odd panic attack, though nowhere near as aggressive as they had been two years ago. A chill ran through him and he moved again, creeping down the hallway towards their daughter's bedroom.
At almost two years old, she was sleeping through the night though she wasn't much of a late sleeper. Peeta enjoyed it though; she would often sit on the bench next to him while he baked in the mornings and mix her fingers in with the dough, giggling about how sticky it felt. Her giggle made him smile every single time, which wasn't always ideal when he was trying to be stern with her, but he couldn't help it. The two year old had taken traits from them both that were beginning to show in her growing personality but it was her kindness that touched them both. Only the day before they had witnessed her freeing a butterfly from a spider's web, whispering things to it that only she understood. It was strange how someone so small could have such an effect on both himself and Katniss.
Children had been something Peeta had always wanted despite the once looming threat of the games. Love was not something often felt in his home growing up and it was this that made him long for someone to care for, to love as his own and treat better than he had ever been treated. Even once he had Katniss as his own, sharing her bed every night and waking up to her warmth every morning, it was not enough. Still he wished for a child to bring light back into their dark home. He knew Katniss would take convincing; she had mentioned more than once both in the games and afterwards that she never wanted to bring children up for fear of what could happen to them.
He understood her fear for having once felt it himself but now, years after the last games and with her nightmares not occurring as often as in the first few years, he pushed her. Initially, she met him head on with anger, desperation for him to understand and blind fury when he wouldn't. He kept trying and now that he thought about it, he felt bad. This was not something she had wanted and he had done all he could to get her to agree. Guilt pressed on him now as he realised with a sickening thought that he had never apologized for pushing so hard, for forcing her to do something she didn't want to do.
Peeta rounded the corner in the small hallway and found the bedroom door of their daughter's room open and he crept closer, even quieter now, not wanting to wake the small girl any earlier than she was used to. The room was lit only by the dull light seeping through the curtains and Peeta knew he would have been waking up in an hour or so anyway to start baking. His eyes moved around, roaming over the familiar landscape of Prim's small chest of toys, her doll sitting in the chair next to her bed and it was her bed that caught his eyes now. Prim lay tightly on her side, her thumb in her mouth and a look of peace that only children seemed to have on her face. Her dark hair, matching that of her mother's, fans out around her head on the pillow and a strand of it covers her mother's face who is lying on the bed next to her. Their faces are so close that the breath of each much be tickling the others face though neither seem to notice. Peeta had no idea if Katniss was sleeping too but as he moved to take a step back out of the room, she turned her head slightly and spotted him.
The smile she gave him was heart warming and he watched as she carefully climbed off of the bed, pulling the blankets up around the little girl's shoulders and padding out of the room, her hands on her heavily pregnant stomach. Peeta backed out of the room as Katniss pulled the door closed and turned to face him, her arms snaking around him as they embraced.
"You okay?" He whispered and she kissed his cheek, pulling away and taking his hand.
"Not here, she might wake." She replied back in a quiet tone before pulling him towards the stairs. Together they descended into the entranceway and into the kitchen, shivering slightly in the early morning cold. Katniss set the hot water on to boil and Peeta turned the oven on. The benefit of this was that it would heat the room and be warm ready for when he started baking. He moved and took the mugs out of her hands, gesturing for her to sit down as he made them both a hot drink.
When the steaming drinks had fingers wrapped around them, their warmth escaping through the ceramics and spreading through the couples bodies. It was silent for a moment and Peeta watched as Katniss stared into her mug, an oddly rare smile on her face. He loved moments when he got to watch her; she was beautiful at all times but when she let her guard down, when she thought no one was watching and her emotions were bare on her face – that was when he found her simply stunning.
"Katniss?" He prompted, wondering then what had got her out of bed. The smile suggested that it wasn't a nightmare and Peeta was sure Prim hadn't made a sound.
"I didn't frighten you did I? I heard you call my name before you came into the room. I didn't want to reply or I would have woken her." She explained softly and took a sip of her drink, savouring the taste of it. "I just woke with this overwhelming feeling that I needed to be with her, with Prim."
Peeta didn't say anything; he didn't feel the need to. There were times when he had to listen closely to her words, her tone as it was hard to tell which Prim she was talking about. This time though, as she continued to talk, he realised she was talking about their daughter.
"It was like something was wrong, that I had to be with her but she was fine when I got there. Sleeping soundly as if she hadn't a care in the world – which she doesn't, I'm sure. But lying there with her. . ." She trailed off, her words lost in the steam that came off of her drink. Peeta watched carefully, not wanting to interrupt. "I was happy."
His hand reached out for hers, holding it tightly in his own as she looked away, once again afraid of showing too much emotion. He was used to it now; he no longer pressured her for words to describe her feelings. He knew her well enough after all of these years. Something was prickling at him though, his thoughts from earlier returned and he cleared his throat softly.
"I'm sorry." He said, the emotion clear in his voice and Katniss looked at him, confused. "For making you give me something you never wanted."
"Oh, Peeta." Was all she said and it only spurred him on, his apology tumbling out of his mouth, his words for once not as structured or perfect as they had been all those years ago.
"I am sorry, Katniss. You never wanted this life, you never wanted that small girl up there sleeping or the one due to arrive any day now. I made you do this, pressured you and now you're stuck with something – something you don't want." He finished stupidly, embarrassed at himself. He wrenched his hands away from hers, his head hung low. His torture in the Capitol was always affecting him in new ways. Where he could once charm a crowd, help spark a rebellion, now he was a fumbling mess, upsetting the girl he loved more than anything.
"Peeta, don't you see? I'm happy. That's what I said and that's the truth. I never wanted this but now that I have it I would never give it up." It took a moment before her words registered with him and he looked up, unsure. "I'm not stuck with this life. This life is the only thing that now keeps me sane; you keep me sane."
"But I forced you, pressured you."
Katniss sighed deeply, standing up and moving around to his side of the table where she took his hands once more. "There was a part of me, granted a very small part, that wanted children. I wanted to feel that little hand in mine but fear chased that away. You brought that back in me."
She leaned forward then, her forehead resting on his for a second so that there was no one else in the world except for the pair of them. He moved in, kissing her softly before they both whispered words that made them feel safe. A movement from upstairs made them both look to the doorway and a moment later, a bundle of dark hair and energy came running through.
Peeta watched as Prim ran for her mother's arms, hugging her tightly and giggling as Katniss kissed her nose. The difference in this girl he had loved for what seemed like forever was immeasurable and though there was still that darkness about her, that fire that flickered in her eyes at times, she was not so burdened by fears or nightmares anymore. They were fading, leaving only memories of the hard times that would forever be imprinted in the backs of their minds, but becoming ever distant. The love and energy that now filled their home had pushed those dark things back, forcing them away and leaving only light. Light, and hope.