Big shoutout to my girls Shoe, Mocha,L4C,Vangie,Czech,LaSueca and Lady B! You guys rock the forum!
Jadziwine-again thank you so much for birdbitch!
Sadhappygirl/IxAMxDECANDENCE-you rock Chord's world!
Thank you so much for all your reviews for this one and The Wedding Planner
Please also check out my buddy Syl's Searching For A Heart...its amazing!
Lots of hugs and kisses- Jeni
Ok so Da Truth Ninja aka Lee Cullen makes a turn in this chapter to stir the pot some more...Emma tries to tweet him back...Mark and Chord's vacation is at an end wants Chord to take her to Hawaii as evidenced by an article in the UK's Daily Mail in which she gushes to a reporter that she's never been to Hawaii and would love a cute boy to take her there...hint hint Chord... Bloody Nora...how desperate is that chicken pot pie really!
Chord attends the Nylon Young Hollywood party to which Emma wears an ok dress but unfortunately those doorknocker knees are fully visible...in the pics from this on gleeforum Chord looks happier with random dude standing between them and we're about to find out why as Emma's chicken crazee comes out to play...
The reference to Team Wanky and Team Intact comes from the gleeforum where a Great Debate was held post On MY Way between 3 Teams-Wanky,Intact,Straddle as to whether Sam and Mercedes had already slept together (wanky), had not yet (intact) and could have gone either way (straddle) to which all participants were required to back up their arguments. As a proud member of the debating team for Team Wanky I can tell you we won (based on the number of likes our posts received which was the criteria for declaring a winner) although we later found out that canon says Intact won as per Sam's random sex talk with Joe.
Chord is still fangirling over Temptation with a Southern Accent and is now planning Samcedes vid marathons...and loves fangirl confessionals on youtube!
Somewhere on a ranch in Texas truth bombs are dropping and miles away in the UK Da Truth Ninja rubs his hands in glee...muahahahah!
Mark:Kevin? What did he say?
Kevin: Check it! Man's a Shakespeare!
Lee Cullen datruthbombninja
Fool, you still with that pigeon toed hoe? You need a lobotomy stat! Throw dat birdbitch on da Fiyah!
chordoverstreet #birdbitch #throwdatbirdbitchondafiyah #birdbitchroberts
Mark:Ha! Dude is all kinds of awesome sauce! He beat me to it..Holla Chord! Birdbitchroberts is trending!
Chord: (groaning)Fuck me! She's going to kill me!
Kevin: Woo-hoo da truth bomb ninja is in da house!
Lee Cullen datruthbombninja
Bre you need to call Rentokil in NOW! Dat fungus on those claws be breeding! That's a minger right there and no mistake!
chordoverstreet #Rentokilpestcontrol #RobertsFungus #chickendiseasedfoot
Mark: (reverently)Dude is a god.. a chicken-slaying god!
Chord:(phone rings) Aww shit its birdbitch!
Mark: (sighs) Give it here...Wassup birdbitch? HE ON DA POT! (hangs up-puk-pwaking can be heard as he press the end call button) poultrified turdburger! Can't wait til we get back to L.A
Chord: (phone rings again) For the love of Samcedes! Gissit here! Yo birdbitch! Take yo feather havin' ass-
Amber: CHORD OVERSTREET YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE CALLING ME BIRDBITCH YOU BASIC FOOL! IMMA BREAK MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS, IDIOT! (hangs up)
Mark: Dude, you wanna book your box n plot now...if Amber doesn't kill you, Emma will peck your eyes out...just sayin'...
A Few Days Later...
At the Nylon Yound Hollywood Party in the restrooms a certain Chord Overstreet is hiding while Darren Criss is looking for him...
Darren:Chord? Chord? Are you in here?
Chord: (whispering):Dude, shut the freakin' door!
Darren: ( opening a cubicle and seeing Chord crouching on the toilet seat, feet off the floor)What is wrong with you?
Chord: Emma's out there, craning her abnormally long poultry-lookin' neck looking for me...
Darren: Wait isn't she your girlfriend?
Chord: Technically more birdfriend...
Darren: What the fuck dude?
Chord: (shrugging) She looks like a chook gone wrong
Darren:Really? You think so? I always thought she looked like more of a diseased ostrich, myself. When you taking her to Hawaii?
Chord:(scandalised)Hawaii? Who? Me? How about never!
Darren:Didn't you read what she said about getting a man to take her to Hawaii? That was some goose-necked begging right there...
Chord: Well it sure as hell is not going to be me! Shit can you imagine? (shudders)Instead of chicken kabob she'd be flame grilled kabob on da beach...the rancid smell from her feet would clear out the island in no time...if she got into the water the sharks would smell chicken and carry her off...
Darren:No way dude..even they'd leave that putrid chicken ish the hell alone! I don't think any of the hotels would allow her in...or they'd probably charge extra for wild fowl!
Chord:Oh God ...the bikini...all manner of wrongness (retches)Get out of my mind! GET OUT OF MY MIND!
Darren: Bikini? There isn't a bikini small enough to cover those fried eggs she calls breasts! All I can think about is chicken fillets raining down from her bra all over the place..cos you know she just doesn't use two...
Chord: Are you trying to scar me for life? I don't need to hear that shit! (dreamily) Maybe Amber could wear a bikini...mmmm...Dat azz...
Darren:Chord?
Chord:...
Darren:Earth to Chord!
Chord:I bet I could make her bikini bottoms fall off...I made her panties fall off cos I'm slick like that!
Darren:Huh? In whose world are you slick?
Chord: The Rileystreeters on gleeforum!
Darren:The Riley what?
Chord: (proudly) They love me...especially Riga...she said she was watching me!
Darren:Ohhh-kay, you've obviously bought the tickets, got the train, arrived and parked yourself on da pot in crazy town! At least Emma didn't look too bad tonight...I mean she normally wears clothes that even a tramp would side-eye(shakes head)
Chord:Fuck me! Did you see the knees...shit I thought my eyes were gonna drop outta my head and roll awaaaaay!
Darren: Those are some musty, dusty kneecaps right there dude! You're in desperate need of an eye test...damn that truth ninja dropped some truth on ya!
Chord: Don't remind me...I thought Emma was going to pluck all her feathers out!(checking iphone) Did you know she tried to tweet him?
Darren:Basic bish, that one! What did he say?
Chord:That he was sorry but he didn't speak fowl..check that shit out , dude, bwahahahaha!
RobertsEmma
Pwak!Cak!Squak!Pwuuuuuuk!
Retweeted by datruthbombninja
Lee Cullen datruthbombninja
Apologies Oh Vulture-faced One but I don't speak fowl!
RobertsEmma #vulturefacedroberts #Ineedafowltranslator #chickenbeleaningonmylastnerv e
Retweeted by chordoverstreet
Oh look! Temptation With A Southern Accent has been updated (sigh) I love it soooo much...waaaaanky!
Darren: I cannot believe you retweeted that! No wonder she's crowing mad!Focus! This is no time to be reading fan fiction!
Chord: (reading) Oh my God...team wanky for the win!
Darren:Team Wanky?
Chord:Ain't no way Sam's a member of Team Intact...he totally be tapping dat ass (loud knock on the door and inhuman squawking ) shit man! That rabid goose is outside!
Emma: Puk-puk- pwuk! I know puk you're in pwuk-cuk in there Chord!
Darren:You're shitting me..she even caws like a chicken...
Chord: D'ya know the number of a local butcher?
Emma:Puk-puk-cwuk-puk!
Darren: (looking scared) Cheesus take da wheel and drive me outta here! Shit, man give me a hand up...I need to hide (climbs up on the seat next to Chord)
Chord:I'm on da pot birdbitch! I mean woman! (sounds of incessant chicken scratching and puk-puking can be heard outside)
Darren:Shit man that's some bad case of bird flu out there...or maybe its salmonella!
Chord:Begone turkey twizzler!
Darren:And to think I'm missing the wrap party for this?(Dreamily) I could've gotten to dance with Amber...
Chord: (side-eyeing) Listen you stunted musty fucker, ain't no way...bwahahaha! Ain't no way! Get it?
Darren:No...(under his breath) this dude is completely looney tunes...
Chord: Ain't no way you gonna be dancing with Amber anytime soon...like ever...even in your dreams..that gel they make you wear has rotted your brains, hobbit!
Emma: (Bird squawking has now reached a fever pitch outside) Chord!puk-puk-puk-uk-pwaaaaaaaaak!
Chord:Shit dude! Find a window! (walk over to a window reaches up a opens it)
Darren:What for?
Chord:We gon blow this joint...
Darren:Uh-uh...Do you know how much this suit cost? Heeeeelp! (Chord shoves him out the window before leaning over and trying to slide out himself) What the fuck?
Chord:Help me waste fool (hears the door handle being turned) That mad chicka ho gonna peck my ass off in a minute!
Darren:( grabbing Chord's arms and pulling)
Chord:Pull fool! Pull like your pulling feathers outta Emma's flat ass!
Darren: (tugging on Chord's arm frantically)I am!
Chord: (seat of pants caught on the latch of the window)Someone! Anyone! Amber! Save meeeeee! IT'S MURDER AND DA CHICKEN DONE IT!
Darren: (gives on final pull as the door busts open) Ahhhhhh!
Chord: (seat of pants rips as he slides through the open window..)
Emma:Pwukk-puk-puk-cwuk-cwuuuuuuuk! (Chord tries to slam the window shut as Emma's beak tries to poke out the window.)
Chord: Darren! (pushing with all his might as a Emma's wings arms beat at the window) Help!
Darren (pushing the window too) Fuck me? What kind of corn has this ratchet heffa been eating?
Chord: Push Dammit! Arrrrgh! DIE CHICKEN BISH DIE! (slamming the window twice on Emma's skinny feathery arms until they slither inside and a furious squawk can be heard.
Chord:Shit that was close!
Darren: What do we do now?
Chord:How about we go home and watch some Samcedes fanvids...I've just discovered Huggbuggstories...(sigh) the feeeeeels...those babies are too precious...Be afraid RIB! Be very afraid...You mess with my cuties and I will lay the hell to the beejesus smack down on your asses! Oh the power of you tube...and we can watch some fangirl confessionals! They gave me an award once! C'mon...say it with me-What are we? RileyStreet! What are we?Rileystreet! WHAT ARE WE? RILEYSTREET! HOOYAH! RILEYSTREET LEADS THE WAY!
Darren: (staring at Chord's ass where the material has ripped and is now completely exposing his underwear clad butt) Dude...why the hell have you got Amber printed across your butt?