Author's Note

So, I guess this would be my very first work again in FanFiction. I was a newbie here when I was in Grade 6, having no idea how to write. At least a good friend of mine taught me how to use this site, and then I was able to write stories. I'm only amateur at writing these thingies at first. But later on I learned how to adapt in our nature. So, if I could, I'll try to revive some of my works. But for the meantime, I'll have you this. Now who loves ToraDora?

The Not-So Diary of Aisaka Taiga
by Lancelotx21

22nd of June, 2012

No, this is not a journal. No, this is not a reaction booklet. Fuck no, this is not a diary. I don't know what to call this thingy here, but I'm sure this is a paper to damp with everything you wanted to. At least I'll try to be nice in here.

So for those who don't know me, I'm glad you do. I'm the one they call the Palmtop tiger. I don't even know why they do (I'm trying to drink some drugs that will increase my height). Sometimes they use this for the whole class to laugh at me. It's alright, but if I'm losing my temper, don't do that. If you're going to ask why I'm like this, I mean my size, then fuck you.

I mean, I don't know, so don't bother to ask cause I can't give you answers. At least convincing answers. I cannot force you to believe me, so I won't even try. This is the challenging part of being a high school student-being offended by your size.

Yes, I'm know on my third year of high school. It has been three weeks since the school started. I have my new sets of classmates, at least three of them are my friend. One's named Minori, one's named Yuusaku. I'm glad to call them my bestfriends, even if my other bestfriend is at the other section. I used 'other' because of this one thing.

I'm not too smart to say this in my diary, but I think I love him. Yes, I don't know. Maybe I cannot tell this to him because I know he'll leave me. I cannot risk that for the good thing we have now. I can't afford to ask for more if I have the best thing I ever had.

Maybe you'll ask me how did we met? So here's the story. One time, on my way to the classroom I was being bumped by a student whose name is I don't know. Blue hair, cat-like scary eyes that were almost killing appeared in front of me, but for those who don't know is I'm not frightened by people. He was a terror in the whole building. But first impressions are the worst. In reality he was a good samaritan. He is a very good kid. And that's why I punched him that day he made the wrong move of confronting me. That will teach him a lesson.

Since that day, I never expect something we would ever share, and that is, maybe, our weakness when it comes to confessing our own feelings to our loved ones. Well, the day when Yuusaku told me about his feelings for me, I was hesitant. I mean, I'm afraid to lose him when we fail to save our relationship. That time, I rejected his offer to be my boyfriend. I don't know what to say. I can't even say 'yes' without my voice shaking or my feet trembling of anxiety.

The bad thing was, when the time came I realized I was ready for him to come into my life, he was now moved on. I cried, but I can't do anything. I just realized, this would be one thing I should NEVER do again in my whole life. Or else I'll regret nothing but being alone. But at least I was being careful with my actions.

But now, this is happening again. I love Takasu, but I cannot tell him. I am afraid. Very afraid. I could never do it. I know he loves Minori. There are things I should keep to myself. Like being jealous every time he talked to them that I was left over. Maybe the time I pushed him closer to Minori was a bad choice. But I'm doing anything to make my Ryuuji happy, even if it takes my happiness.

So nothing happened again this day, but joining the gang on our way home as Ryuuji escorts Minori to her house (of course with the gang). Then it would be only Ryuuji, Yuusaku and me. We'll wait for Ryuuji to get to his house since we moved on from the condominium beside their house, so it will be Kitamura's responsibility to take me home since I'm living near their family compound. As usual, I was left alone as Ryuuji and Yuusaki chit-chats about the latest game of Miami and OKC.

As a Miami-fan, I'm nothing against the two Oklahomans even if my pet team wins.

"Goddamn they are so awesome! I mean, the should have win the game rather than Miami."

"Yeah, and I hope a very good game with them at the finals."

This is what I heard (and remember from them) before Ryuuji waves his goodbye... to me or to Yuusaku? I don't know. I could yell there, "What's the problem with you bitch?" But I was so calmed that I cannot even speak because I don't want to be in a bad mood.

As I paced the steps to my new condo, Yuusaku and I had a brief conversation.

"You love him, don't you?" he asked me as if he knew everything.

"Excuse me, what are you saying?"

"I said you love him, right?"

I stopped walking for a moment, trying to get some air as I watch him staring at me in his unusual serious face. I tried to look away cause he might read what's the truth on my eyes, and I'm dead. You know, he is Takasu's bestfriend.

The second time I laid my eyes on him, he was now smiling.

"I know what you feel about him. Do you want me to help you?" he said, still smiling. At the fact that he's cute, I can't even stop myself from smiling.

"You little idiot. Of course I do not. You know he loves Minori, and I can't afford to join their love story."

I said as I paused in front of the main door of my condominium.

"I'm fine by here. Thanks for accompanying me, Yuusaku." I forced a smile to him, as if I'm trying to brainwash him to forgot everything what I said. But he is not.

"Don't thank me. Ryuuji asked me to do this for you. Everyday."

"WHAT?"

And then he walked away.

-END OF CHAPTER ONE-