Tom's POV:
The key fits in to its lock easily and the door slides open.
"Kathrin?" I call in to apartment.
There is no answer. I enter anyway, closing the door behind me. I wonder in to her bedroom. Sounds clanging come from the powder room.
"Kathrin," I poke my head in to the loo.
She closes the drawer she is digging in, with a bang. She turns to me hurriedly.
"Tom," her voice is rushed and nervous, "I didn't realize you were here".
"What are you hiding from me?" I ask, reaching in to open the drawer.
She steps closer to me, further blocking me off. I push past her and reach for the drawer, anyway.
"Don't!" she shrieks.
I pull open the drawer to reveal a stash of prescription pills. I pull one out and examine it.
"God damn it Kathrin! You said you were clean now! Who sold these to you?"
Kathrin raises her hand and slaps me across the face. Her nails sting as they tear at my flesh.
"You bastard! You absolute wanker! You get out of my house right now!"
I stand stark still for a moment, letting the blood run down my cheek. I am calm; far too calm.
"Nice talk darling," I say sarcastically.
I pull the key from its storage place in my pocket and set it down on the counter along with the bottle of pills.
"You can keep the key and your precious pills. It's obvious you love them more than me anyway".
I walk of the apartment, cool and calm. It walked, mindlessly, for several blocks before it really sinks in what I have done. I stop on the street and fall to my knees. I lie there for a while, not crying, just lying in agony. I love her. I love her more than anything.
But she doesn't love me. That's why I had to leave.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, disrupting the whirlpool of thought, swirling in my brain. I pick it up.
"Hello?
"Hey, Tom," comes Charlie's voice form the other end.
"Oh, hello Charlie. Was there something you needed?"
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanted to do something today."
"No, I think I would rather be alone".
"Oh. Oh, well if you say so…"
There is a short silence before I remember the stupidity that took place the night before.
"Hey, if Alex there?"
"Yeah he's here"
"May I talk to him, please? "
"Sure, here you go," there is some rustling on the other end of the line, then Alex's voice, "Hello?"
"Hey, Alex, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have walked out on you," the words flow from my mouth before I have a chance to think what they are, "But Kathrin's really better now. She's been to rehab-"
Why am I protecting her? She's not better.
"Tom, you need to listen to me now, okay? You are one of my best mates. I will not just stand by and watch you get killed by some temptress who's got you under her spell, you understand me?"
He cares about me. He knew Kathrin couldn't be trusted. He wanted to help me. How could I be so stupid?
Before I can think, words come tumbling out of my mouth, "I know after what happened last time, I should stay away. I know I should be angry, and afraid, and I shouldn't love her, but I do, Alex, I do love her and I can't stop, no matter how much it hurts, I just can't".
I can't hold back the tears now. They flow down my face in uneven rivers.
"I know, Tom, I know it's hard, but if you know what's best for you, you will stay away".
"That's the problem; I don't know what's best for me anymore".
Tears continue to cascade down my cheeks. I must look like a loony, heaving here on the side of the street. Who cares? My heart is broken, and god damn it, it hurts.
Alex's voice comes to me, through the darkness, "Would you like to come over?"
I need a friend, someone to talk to, some one who cares.
"I'll be there in an hour"
"Where are you?"
"It doesn't matter. I'll be there in an hour".
I hang up the phone and slide it in to my pocket. I sit there, slumped over and sobbing.
After a while, I gather up the strength to pull myself up. My tears have reduced to light waves, a drop sliding from my eyelashes every few seconds. My breath is still uneven, my lungs raw.
I make my way to the underground, heading back in the direction of home, and friends who care.