Aoi's hospital stay lasted six days, during which Kaoru and the others showered her with gifts, cards, balloons, and well wishes. Her hair was starting to grow back; she sported a thin layer of "peach-fuzz" on top of her head, which Tina called "a nice buzz-cut."
On the day she was to be released, Tina, Taeko, and Chika stayed at the house to clean things up in preparation for her arrival, while Kaoru and Miyabi went to fetch her.
Taeko gasped when her friend came rolling through the front door of the mansion in a shiny new wheel chair, pushed by Kaoru-senpai, with Miyabi-san following closely. The others had told her very little; Taeko could only assume they didn't want to scare her. All Miyabi-san had told her at first was that there had been a car accident, and that Aoi-san was badly injured and would spend at least several days in the hospital; she had refused to say exactly what kind of injuries were involved.
"W—Welcome home, Ooy—er, Aoi-san," Taeko said, trying to smile, her delight at having Aoi-san back home tempered by the sight of her in what was obviously a very permanent condition.
"Thank you," Aoi-san beamed. "It's good to be back, though I do wish it was under better circumstances," she laughed.
"Ahem."
All eyes turned to Miyabi-san. The severe-looking woman spoke when all was quiet.
"I would like for all of you to sit at the table, please. I think we need to have a discussion, as there will obviously have to be some changes."
They gathered at the table in the enormous dining room. When everyone was seated, she began. "I apologize for not telling you all the whole story right from the start, but I didn't want anyone to worry or be frightened. I can assure you, Sir Kaoru was worried enough for all of us."
Taeko suppressed a titter at the comment, and realized she was shocked at herself. Why did I almost laugh? she asked herself. This isn't funny!
"How long will it take for your legs to heal?" Chika-chan asked Aoi-san innocently.
Miyabi-san shook her head. "That is the problem, I'm afraid. Lady Aoi's legs are not broken. Her back is."
"But, then why…?" Chika gasped when she realized the answer.
"I'm afraid Lady Aoi is going to be in that chair for a very long time." Miyabi-san paused to let the news sink in. "Possibly for the rest of her life."
Taeko's stomach sank, and Chika's hand went slowly to her mouth. "Aoi-san…" she whispered, her chocolate eyes starting to tear up.
"Miyabi-san, may I say something?" Aoi-san's quiet voice interjected.
A nod. She turned to the others.
"Everyone, please don't be worried. I might have a harder time getting around now, but I am still the same person I was before the accident. Only shorter."
This time, there were some giggles, and Taeko joined in too. She felt more secure about it now that she had heard Aoi-san joke about her situation herself.
"And with a nice haircut," Tina added, rubbing Aoi's fuzzy scalp.
"I do not want any special treatment from anyone, but above all else, I do not want any of you to feel sorry for me," Aoi-san insisted. "As I said, aside from moving about a little slower, nothing has changed about me."
Miyabi-san gave a light cough, and took over the meeting once again.
"Very well," she said, shooting a rather strange look at Aoi-san. "Now then. Sir Kaoru and Tina-san, you are physically the strongest ones here, so I will leave you in charge of setting up ramps and hand rails. I will deal the…ahh…other issues myself.
"Other issues?" Taeko asked. What could Miyabi-san mean by that?
"Yes, Taeko-chan, you heard me correctly. You may all return to your business." She lowered her voice slightly. "Aoi-sama? A private word, please?"
-
"What do you mean by this?" Miyabi demanded sharply.
"By what, Miyabi-san?" Aoi replied quietly, her back to her caretaker and friend, her gaze focused on the beautiful spring day outside the window. "Telling them that nothing's changed, or that I do not wish for their pity?"
They sat alone in the dining room, which had gone silent after the others left, and even more tense.
"Both!" Miyabi replied angrily. "But the former even more so. Aoi-sama, you are a proud woman. So am I; I understand your feelings. But to simply pretend that nothing has happened, like all this will just go away—
"I never said that!" Aoi snapped, turning her chair around to face Miyabi, her blue eyes burning with anger. "Miyabi-san, I am a paraplegic, not a fool. You think I don't understand what has happened to me? I will probably spend the rest of my life in this blasted thing." She slapped the arm of the wheel chair. "But there is much to be done, that I can still do. Do you expect me to just lie down and die?" She shook her head. "If I can possibly help it, then I am determined that this chair will be no more than a part of my life, not my life itself."
To her surprise, Miyabi-san's anger vanished. She stepped forward and took Aoi's hand. "I am not asking you to give up hope, Aoi-sama. To know the size of what you are facing, and stare it in the face without fear takes either incredible courage, or out-right stupidity." She pulled a chair over and sat down, looking Aoi right in the eyes. "And I believe you just said it yourself: you are no fool." She paused. "The others will want to help you, Aoi-sama, especially Sir Kaoru. Please let them."
"I understand," Aoi whispered, looking at the floor. She truly regretted yelling at Miss Miyabi, especially considering that she was probably the only person in the house who could do so and get away with it.
-
Kaoru whacked a stubborn nail with his hammer a few more times, forcing it snugly in place against the wood.
"Whew!" he breathed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Tina tossed him one of the two beers she was carrying, and he caught it deftly. "It must be in the thirties out here!" he said, popping the tab.
His erstwhile helper gave him a puzzled look.
"Uhhh, nineties," he corrected himself.
Tina realized her mistake, and rolled her eyes. "Stupid metric system," she muttered.
"Well, it's harder for me to make the switch than it is for you," he reminded her. "But at least we made good time getting this thing done." He gestured at their little project.
It was mostly Tina's idea. Kaoru had just wanted to lay in place a simple plywood ramp over the front steps for Aoi-chan, maybe with some rubber matting for traction, so she wouldn't roll down too fast. But Tina wasn't about to leave it at that. Come on, why not spruce it up? Make it a little better?
Because I just want it over with, he thought. If I know Aoi-chan, she won't want us devoting any more energy to this kind of stuff than we absolutely have to.
But his stubborn American friend had won out in the end, and now, looking at their handiwork, he decided that she had won the hearts-and-minds battle, too. He had to agree with her that their idea was pretty clever.
After cutting a piece of plywood the right size, and laying it over the steps, he had taken an old door hinge from his toolbox and nailed one end to the board, and the other to the house. They now had a moveable ramp, so that the others could use the steps if they wished, courteously lowering the ramp back in place when they were done. Tina had even attached a small strap made from an old shoe lace, to be hung over a little coat hook she had nailed into the wall, so the ramp could held in the upright position.
"Ummm…listen," Tina began, not sure how to broach the subject that was on her mind. "Kaoru, are you gonna be okay? I mean, all that stuff Miss Aoi said about nothing changing; you know that's bullshit, right?"
Kaoru decided not to get angry with her for her rather uncouth way of putting it; she meant no harm.
"The way you guys took it, yeah, it would be," he responded quietly, looking up at the sky. "But I don't think that was what she meant. I think she just doesn't want us going out of our way for her, you know. Aoi-chan knows when to ask for help."
Tina was silent for a few seconds. "You know, I knew you two were a couple before the big announcement."
Kaoru's eyes went wide, and he turned to her. He hadn't known. "How did you find out?"
"You talk in your sleep, silly!" she laughed. "Okay, so I shouldn't have been in your room while you were sleeping, but I figured I was leaving for good, and I just wanted to say goodbye. But when you whispered her name like that, I…good grief. I didn't know what to think. I was disappointed and jealous, but I wanted so bad to be happy for you. You pick 'em well, Kaoru." She decided not to tell him the rest of that little story. "Besides, looking back, I figure I must be a real idiot to have missed it. It was so incredibly obvious."
Kaoru laughed. Now that he thought about it, it was obvious. All those times the two of them had disappeared from the house, to be alone for a while? At that rate, how could any of the girls have not put it together? "You're really something, Tina, you know that?" he laughed, patting her on the back.
At that point, Tina decided that maybe she was better off just being friends with her old crush. No pressure, no complications. Just good old-fashioned friendship and respect.
"Always," she replied, holding out her beer. They clicked their cans together, and drank up.
-
That night, after dinner, Kaoru went to their room to turn down the sheets, Aoi rolling along beside him. When he was finished, he turned to her. "Alright, up you come."
She obeyed, lifting her arms slightly, and he wrapped one arm under her bottom and one around her midsection, and lifted her from the chair.
She was light to carry, and he rather enjoyed the sensation of her arms around his neck.
He laid her in the futon, undressed down to his boxers, and got in next to her. She gently pressed her face against his chest, and giggled. "That was actually fun," she laughed. "It felt a little like being carried over the threshold."
An American tradition, Kaoru thought. "You've been hanging around Tina too much," he joked, poking her in the stomach.
She did not respond, and his heart sank when he saw her eyes tearing up. "Aoi-chan? What's the matter?"
She didn't sob or sniffle when she spoke, but tears continued to run down her face. "I am so sorry all of this happened, Kaoru-sama. You must feel so…cheated."
"What?" He tilted her face up to look into her eyes. "No! Aoi-chan, you could have died. I feel so blessed that we still have each other." He stroked a finger over her cheek, wiping away a trail of wetness. "We already talked about this. I love all of you, Aoi-chan, no matter what. Now, if you had died on me, then I might have felt cheated, but even then it would still be selfish and wrong of me to feel that way."
Aoi couldn't believe her good fortune. To have ever met someone like Kaoru-sama in the first place was a miracle in itself, but to think that even her being crippled couldn't tear them apart? She felt almost invincible.
"Kaoru-sama?" she asked, reaching up a hand to stroke his cheek. "I…want you."
Kaoru was completely nonplussed. How could she possibly…? "What? Aoi-chan, are you sure?" he asked in that odd manner of his; quiet and even, yet almost as if he were laughing.
She responded by reaching up and tugging on the string hanging from the ceiling, turning the lights out. She placed one small hand on the back of his head, and drew him in for the first kiss.
It was soft, gentle, and sweet, and Kaoru found himself quickly aroused. Aoi-chan broke the kiss momentarily. "Do you remember the first time we made love?" she whispered against his face.
He did. It hadn't been on their honeymoon, but in a luxurious hotel room in Tokyo, on a summer night nearly a year ago. Afterwards, he had felt terribly guilty for breaking Miss Miyabi's trust, but he decided not to focus on that now.
"How could I forget?" he laughed softly, sliding her yukata back to reveal her bare shoulders. He drew her closer and kissed the soft skin, enjoying her scent, and trailed kisses up her neck. "You were incredible!" he whispered against her.
She drew away from him a little, her hands on his chest. "I was whole then," she said, looking into his brown eyes. "I know things are different now, but I want to hold on to as much as I can, Kaoru-sama. I have to."
"We will, Aoi-chan," he promised. With that, he slipped her robe the rest of the way off, helped her remove his boxers, and moved over her. He entered her slowly, and she clung to his back as he moved inside her. When it was over, he held her and let her fall asleep in his arms, glad that she couldn't see his own tears.
-
Oil sizzled and popped in the frying pan as eggs bubbled up to a golden-brown perfection. Miyabi sprinkled salt and pepper neatly over them, and tossed in some onions, chopped sausage, and grated cheese, humming quietly to herself as she cooked. She slid the spatula smoothly under one side of the omlet and flipped it closed, then drew two more eggs from the carton for the next one.
Miyabi hadn't expected to enjoy it at all, let alone this much. Lady Aoi normally did the cooking, but she could hardly be expected to now. Tina-chan and Taeko-chan were absolutely out of the question, the latter in particular; one could hardly cook if there were no kitchen left to cook in. Chika-chan wasn't a bad cook, but she also was still asleep.
That left only Miyabi herself and Sir Kaoru, and everyone's favorite "tenant" was nowhere to be found at the moment. Miyabi had done a little cooking before, but only lightly, and had never found it very interesting until now. Eggs and bacon sizzling in the pan, the soft gurgle of the coffee maker, the lovely aromas of breakfast; she found the atmosphere of the kitchen in action very peaceful—so long as there was only one cook there at a time—and there were few things Miyabi enjoyed more than peace and quiet.
Thump.
She lowered the flame on the gas burner, and looked in the direction of the sound. She waited for a moment, thinking perhaps it was her imagination.
Thump.
No, the sound was quite real. She turned the range off entirely and stepped out onto the walkway that connected the main house to the guest cottage where Sir Kaoru, and now Lady Aoi, lived.
She looked to her left, and shook her head. There he was, hacking away at an old log with an axe.
On the surface, it seemed a perfectly mundane chore, not out of the ordinary at all. But Miyabi knew men well enough to know that there was only one reason a man would be chopping firewood in the middle of spring.
She made her way down the steps and approached him carefully. After allowing him one more stroke with the axe, she put her hand on his shoulder. He lowered the blade and turned to her. "Miss Miyabi," he greeted cheerfully enough. "What's up?"
"Nothing," she half-lied. "I just wondered where you were." She gestured to the chewed-up log. "What is this for, if you don't mind my asking?"
Sir Kaoru shrugged, looking at the ground. "You never know. Guess I just wanted to be prepared. Besides, firelight is pretty romantic." He said it with a mischievous smirk, looking at her once again. It was a more convincing fake than his last attempt, but she still didn't buy it.
Miyabi sat down on one end of the log, and patted the other. Sir Kaoru obediently sat next to her. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't wish to," she reminded him. "But I promise it will help a lot." She looked straight into his eyes with her famously fearsome brown stare. "What happened, Sir Kaoru?" It was both a question and a command.
His façade collapsed, and the tears started. "Last night, Aoi-chan and I…we tried to…she didn't feel a thing, Miss Miyabi." He stared at the ground, shaking his head.
"I don't think that is true," she countered softly.
He looked at her blankly; the puzzlement on his face was clearly notfake.
She sighed. "Sir Kaoru, I am going to tell you something you will be very surprised to hear. Very few men are privileged to know this, so take it to heart, and use it wisely."
She paused to make sure he was paying attention, and continued. "Sex, Sir Kaoru, is not about pleasure."
That was her bombshell of wisdom? Kaoru wondered. What in the heck was that supposed to mean?
She read him easily, and explained. "Imagine if it were you, Sir Kaoru. What would you do in her place?"
Kaoru shrugged. This conversation was becoming very awkward. "Try to…make it all about her, I guess…make it all about her pleasure. But how I am supposed to do that when—
"You're not," Miyabi interrupted. "But that is a very good answer. You see, that is what Lady Aoi wants to do for you. Otherwise, she wouldn't have bothered at all. You are a man, Sir Kaoru; sex is physical for you. That's not a bad thing; it's the way you're made. But for a woman, especially a woman like Lady Aoi, it's an emotional experience. Do you understand now?"
He did. Her explanation made so much more sense, he reflected, when she just said it instead of trying to be cryptic.
"And I'll tell you something else," Miyabi added, putting an arm about his shoulders. "I have long since stopped despising you the way I did when we met, but until today, I never understood just how wrong I was about you. How many other men would have simply been glad to be getting what they wanted? You, Sir Kaoru, are a real man."
With that, she released him and stood. "Now let's go have some breakfast."
"Yeah," Kaoru added with a laugh, his tears long-since dried, "and some more comfortable conversation!"
-
Miss Miyabi had quite a spread prepared for them, Kaoru saw. There was American fare for those who wanted it (namely Tina) at one end of the table; eggs and bacon, sausage and pancakes; at the other end was more traditional cuisine; fish and fried rice, and even an okonomiyaki plate.
"Wow," Kaoru marveled, taking Aoi-chan's hand as she rolled up next to him, "This all looks great, Miss Miyabi!"
"Well," Miyabi demurred, trying to keep her usual straight face at such a compliment, "I was up very early this morning, and I had some extra time, so I decided to make use of it."
"Man," Tina put in, mumbling around a mouthful of omlet, "if this is your way of killing time, I wish you would get bored more often!"
Silence fell, and all eyes turned to Tina.
"What?" she asked, seeing the looks that greeted the rather odd remark.
Miyabi decided to let her off the hook for now. "Ahem…er, I'll take that as a compliment, Tina-san. Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying it. Sir Kaoru," she said, turning to him, glad for the chance to change the subject. "I called the insurance company last night after you went to bed."
"Oh, boy," Kaoru muttered, shaking his head. "How bad is the news?"
"Better than I expected, actually," she said lightly. "The car was totaled, I'm afraid, but the adjuster was quite the reasonable sort. I don't think you'll be without a vehicle for very long.
I'll be trading down, Kaoru thought. Any sort of vehicle was better than walking, of course, but it hurt to lose that car. The little cherry-red Mazda coupe had been a graduation present from all the girls.
"Wow!" Chika-chan piped up, "Are they gonna give you a new car, onii-chan?"
"Not exactly," he explained to the little girl he thought of as a sister. "They'll pay off some of the old one, and maybe make some of the down-payment on a new one, but we won't actually see any of the money."
"I think you should get a truck," Aoi-chan put in. "They're very manly," she added with a giggle.
Miyabi decided to break in before anyone came up with any hare-brained ideas. "I think we should let Sir Kaoru decide for…" She trailed off.
"Miss Manager?" Taeko asked. "What's the matter? Are you alright?"
"Ummm, err, Lady Aoi…" Miss Miyabi was looking down at the seat of Aoi's wheel chair as if it might suddenly come to life and attack her.
"Yeah, what's that smell?" Tina asked, waving a hand in front of her face.
Her derisive question brought the answer home to Kaoru. Oh, no.
He glanced down at Aoi-chan's lower body, and sure enough, the fabric of her kimono had darkened, and he could see wetness seeping out from beneath her.
Judging by the look on her face, she had to have seen it too, he thought, even though she couldn't feel it. Aoi-chan was famous for her ability to hide her emotions around others, but Kaoru, knowing her the way he did, could tell she was close to tears.
The four pairs of staring eyes finally got to Kaoru, and he leapt out of his seat. "What are you all gawking at?" he demanded angrily. "She can't help it!!"
"Sir Kaoru!" Miyabi rebuked sharply. But for the first time, her anger had no effect on him.
He ignored her. "Come on, Aoi-chan," he said softly. He got behind her, and quickly wheeled her out of the dining room.
-
The bathroom was cold, but Kaoru was past caring. Aoi-chan had not said a single word on the way, and remained silent as he sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, lifted her from the chair, and gently laid her on her stomach across his knees. He quickly divested her of her sodden kimono and panties, and took a hand towel from the rack near the toilet.
Feeling more awkward than he ever had in his life, Kaoru wet the towel from the sink faucet and proceeded to wipe the sticky urine off of Aoi-chan's rear end and groin, working his way down the back of her thighs. As he cleaned her, he fought like mad to hold back tears. His reflections led him to questions he never thought he would ask himself. What if this happened again? If Aoi-chan couldn't control her bowels, she would obviously have to wear a diaper. What would that do to her self-esteem? How on earth had his marriage come to this?
Kaoru wished more than anything else that he could take his wife's place right now, despite the fact that, unless it were to save her from this misery, he would rather be dead that experience that kind of humiliation.
Aoi-chan was clean now. He lifted her from his lap and, not knowing what else to do, laid her on her stomach on the cold tile of the floor and left the bathroom to fetch a change of clothes for her.
When he returned, he could hear wracking sobs before he reached the bathroom door. He walked in, got down on his knees and held her. For Kaoru, the dam finally broke, and he wept with her.
-
The rest of the day was uneventful, though an awkward silence hung in the air. Kaoru did speak briefly to Miss Miyabi, mostly about money: medical bills, various kinds of insurance and, if worse came to worst, court proceedings. The others mostly stayed out of sight, afraid to face him.
Though, in all honesty, he didn't blame the girls for keeping their distance, Kaoru truly regretted yelling at them. It was only natural for them to be shocked at such an incident; the possibility hadn't occurred even to him until this morning, let alone Tina, Taeko-chan, and Chika-chan.
It was late at night now, and Kaoru encountered Tina as he rolled Aoi-chan down the walkway to the guest cottage.
"Turning in for the night?" she asked.
"I was about to," he answered as casually as he could manage, "but I think I might have a few more minutes in me. Do you mind, Aoi-chan?"
"I can wait," Aoi-chan replied laconically.
He wants to talk, Tina realized. Oh, crap.
After putting Aoi-chan to bed, Kaoru returned to the walkway to find, much to his relief, that Tina was still there.
He stood next to her, leaning on the rail, and both were silent for several minutes.
"Kaoru…" she began. He gently stopped her.
"I'm not angry with you, Tina." Anymore, he silently added. "What happened this morning…I didn't see that coming, either. I should have, but I didn't."
"Kaoru…good God…" she whispered. Tina had once thought she had at least some idea of what Kaoru and Miss Aoi were going through, but she realized now that even after this morning, she probably still didn't have a clue how bad it was going to get.
Wordlessly, she turned to Kaoru and offered him her embrace. He accepted it gratefully, letting her comfort him. "Aoi-chan and I will be okay, Tina," he assured her, patting her back. "One way or the other, we'll be alright."
-
Aoi heard the door open behind her, and the sounds of clothing being removed. "Are they alright?" she asked.
"They will be," Kaoru replied quietly as he stepped around to the other side of the futon and slid in next to her. "But it's going to take time."
"Please tell them I am sorry."
"You and your apologies," he rebuked gently, poking her in the chest. "You didn't wet yourself on purpose, Aoi-chan."
"That is not the point," she insisted, looking him right in the eyes. "It was a hard thing for them for them to see, Kaoru-sama."
"They'll get over it," he answered, stroking her back.
Perhaps they would at that, Aoi reflected. "Kaoru-sama?" she asked, the feel of his hand on the small of her back giving her a rather sudden impulse. "Do you want to…try again?"
"Are you sure?" he asked, just like he had last night. But this time, she noticed, he voiced the question in a different tone. There was no surprise in his voice, and his expression was a little more eager, not so nervous.
He wants me, she realized. Aoi could hardly contain her happiness at the thought. It was just one of many questions that had been bothering her ever since the crash. Despite the show of confidence she had given everyone, inside she had been terrified; scared that she would not even be of any use to Kaoru-sama at all, let alone be able to fulfill his masculine needs. The humiliating incident at the breakfast table this morning certainly hadn't helped things. And she knew that although their lovemaking last night had been pretty good for her—emotionally, at least—it must have been an unbridled catastrophe for him.
But now, seeing the unmistakable look of arousal in her husband's eyes gave her such a sense of peace about the whole thing that she did not hesitate. She turned off the light, and shamelessly drew him against her.
"Whoa," Kaoru laughed, snaking an arm around her to support her limp legs. "Easy, now." With some inherent difficulty, they helped each other out of their clothing. Keeping an arm about her legs, he lifted a hand to touch her breast. His eyes widened a little when he heard her sigh and saw goose bumps travel up her arms.
"You like that," he observed, surprised.
"Yes," she admitted, relaxing as he repeated the caress. "It's not arousing, exactly, but it does feel nice." She giggled softly, and added, "kind of like a massage."
At that moment, Kaoru made up his mind to suppress any feelings of shame or inhibition. This woman was his wife, and she wanted him to make love to her, as a husband and wife should, regardless of any obstacles.
Keeping her legs supported, he focused his attention on her upper body as they shared a long series of deep, throaty kisses. Her hand dipped beneath the covers and, remembering Miss Miyabi's advice, he pushed down a twinge of guilt at the sensation and let her pleasure him.
When he finally laid Aoi-chan on her back and entered her, he was as gentle as he could be, planting soft kisses on her neck and face, making absolutely certain that the emotions he evoked in her were more than enough to replace the loss of physical sensation.
Afterwards, watching her as she slept, Kaoru decided that if there was any doubt before, it was vanquished now; he was indeed the luckiest man on the planet. Mortifying though his morning had been, he knew that in that cold bathroom, grappling with the consequences of this whole tragedy, he and Aoi-chan had discovered a form of intimacy too strong to describe, even deeper than sex.
It had only been words to him before, but now it was full-blown, heart-felt knowledge: they were going to be okay.