Chapter 4

No one but his dad and Dez was in his room after the surgery. They had put him on a numbing medication that causes drowsiness and speech problems.

"D-dad!" It came out in a raspy whisper. He raised his arm and reached towards them, just to find that he couldn't reach out any further since the IV drip was connected to his skin.

Both visitors jerked their heads up and went to his side immediately.

"Son..." His dad began, wiping his eyes. "You're alright."

Austin smiled. "O-of c-c-course D-d-dad. D-did you t-think that I w-wouldn't m-m-make i-it?" The speech problems were starting to sink in.

His best friend shook his head and leaned away from him, his lips trembling. "N-no... It's just great to see that you're okay." He wanted so bad, SO BAD to give his pancake loving star a great big bear hug. He didn't know, poor guy. He didn't know since he was knocked out from the surgery.

"D-duh D-Dez. I-I'm fine. D-d-did s-something h-happen to s-someone e-else?" H-how long w-was I o-out for?" Austin panted in exhaustion. It was a lot of hard work to talk. He breathed in and out deeply, trying to restore he tiny bit of energy stored inside of him.

Dez opened his mouth to talk, but his dad covered his mouth quickly before he could, leading to muffled noises. Both eyes met and somehow communicated silently for after a minute, leaving the patient out of the silent party. His dad slowly uncovered Dez's mouth, facing the hospitalized patient.

"Nothing happened Austin," he reassured, though his voice sounded rather gloomy. Can you believe it? The great noisemaker, Dez, is sounding gloomy. That's a first. "You've been out all day and...well we're just a bit worried. That's all."

"W-where's m-mom and e-e-everyone e-else?"

"I … told them to stay at their homes. They have an...event to planned and it wasn't like you were going to...die." On the word "die", the whole room was filled with grief.

"Yeah I'll...I'll just call them now," Dez reached for his cellphone and took once last tearful glance at the star. "Just to tell them that you're awake." He walked out, leaving the two to resort to silence. Austin was tired and weary, but he knew that he was awake enough to know something was wrong. Dez seemed less fun and more worried and it was easy to see that his dad lied to him. However, he didn't think about it for too long and soon drifted back to sleep, dreaming of a dark unwelcoming sea, not wanting to pull him out.

It's has been a week now, and Austin was starting to feel better. He was still really tired and didn't perform in any concerts or shows, but he could get up and about, walking to places and making pancakes. He was getting faster than the doctor predicted and it wasn't long until he was dancing on stage, singing with his brand new heart.

However, there was something wrong. He could feel it. All of his members and Dez felt it, though only Austin could actually voice it out. His family, Dez, and all of his other friends have been awfully quiet the past week, only going out and being active to do their jobs or meet together (without Austin for a reason he wasn't so sure about. Thought it was a surprise party, but lost sight of that possibility) . His family moped around, only saying one or two sentences to each other. His friends wouldn't call or text him unless he was the first to, but it always ended after he replied once or one or two minutes after saying hello.

They never seemed to do anything, but they did do one thing. They would always tell him that they were going to Sonic Boom. When he texted them, they would say they wee going to that music store. When he called they would just announce hey were going to Sonic Boom and end the call. Even his parents, who don't take that much interest in music, declared that they were going to Sonic Boom, always coming home with a keyboard or new guitar strings. It was like going to that store was a new trend now a days. Austin didn't know what Ally or her dad did to make everyone want to go, but it always confused him when his parents would come home with bloodshot eyes and return to their room late at night.

Oh how badly he wanted to find out what was in the store, to go across and meet his friends. He wanted to tell them that he was okay, that his health was finally healthy, that he could enjoy active pleasures without wearing out to death anymore, but his parents told him not to come outside until a week later.

The most he was looking forward to was Cassidy, of course. He could already imagine it. Her blond hair and pale complexion perfectly in his head. She would smile that warm smile at him when she sees him, and he would open his arms wide for a hug. She'd run into his embrace and snuggle her head into his neck, thanking God that he was okay and that the surgery was a success.

It was weird, to be away from Cassidy for so long, painful even, but he wouldn't want to disobey his parents words and obediently stayed at home like a good puppy. He tried his best to keep busy around the house so he wouldn't get bored. He cleaned a lot, making sure that all the laundry was done and the dishes were clear. He also tried to make conversation with his friends when they came over to watch him, but all they would do is go in to a corner, exclude Austin, and just whisper amongst themselves.

This feeling was weird for him. Never did they seem so secretive, so quiet, so sad. For a time, he tried to convince himself that they were only doing what they thought was best, that they wanted him to feel at peace so he could recover faster, but, as time went on, Austin knew it wasn't the case. Though they were concerned for his health like how friends should be, they rarely talked to him. They never congratulated him on the successful surgery, but instead kept quiet about the whole thing, not wearing a relieved smile.

But the strangest thing was, almost every one of his friends and his parents, cried. When he first came back to his house, his parents and friends cried, embracing him tightly. When Austin went to bed, he could hear the sniffles of his parents when they came home. Trish cried when Dez scolded Austin for turning on the TV. Mindy, although she wasn't really his friend (but came because of Dez), cried when they were heating up the leftovers Austin's parents gave them to feed their son. Dallas most the most, surprisingly considering that he was the golden man. A perfect Idol image. He burst in to tears at any random moment, especially at the least expected times. When Austin came to his side and asked what was wrong, Dallas would wipe the shiny droplets away and stomp away to a corner.

This wasn't right. They should be happy for him. They should be dancing and prancing like the world was at it's golden age. They should be jumping up and down, wide grins on their faces, and shout that it's gonna be alright. If a surgery like this succeeded, this would be a swell time to be partying nonstop.

But why is everyone so sad?

"Seriously Trish? You're the only one who didn't cry when I came home for the surgery, but, here you are, crying because I only have powdered and not frosted dough nuts?"

Trish stared at Austin, her fierce and threatening eyes looking pitiful and helpless. He didn't respond, but let herself just sit and let her tears flow faster.

"Dude.." Dallas went up to Austin, trying to calm him down.

"Why are you so emotional? It's a stupid dough nut. I can get more!"

His friends started to crowd around the two, listening to the commotion that Austin created.

"And Trish, it's not just you. All of you guys are acting weird! I thought you were all worried for me, so I thought it was normal for you guys to cry, but now it's turning stupid!"

"Austin," Dallas tried again to calm him down, taking hold of his shoulders.

"What has gotten in to you all? Why are you all so gloomy? I don't care if you guys are upset or not, but at least tell me why! Don't say it's because we ran out of frosted dough nuts or because I 'm not following orders and keeping the TV turned off! Tell me the truth!"

"Austin!" Dallas tried once more, shouting. "Calm Down!

"Don't tell me to calm down! For the past week, did you know how I was feeling? I thought you guys were worried about me! But NO! You guys don't seem to care about my health! You're all too caught up crying to even tell me why-"

Slap. Austin's head flew to the right as the hand swept swiftly and painfully across his cheek. Dez stood before him, fuming. Austin has NEVER seen his best friend this mad at him. They were the cool dorks. Best friends for life. Dez gave Austin his own pants! As far as Austin knew, Dez would kill an ant, let alone his best friend. He wasn't violent, but didn't he just smack his cheek so hard that it was throbbing red right now?

"Shut up, Austin," his voice, for the first time, was cold and icy. The cheerful, weird clown of a best friend looked as if he was mad enough to kill someone, bearing a look full of disgust.

"Dez I-"

"I told you to shut up. I don't care if you're frustrated enough to destroy a pancake stack. Just. Shut. Up."

Now, Austin felt it flow, now this was the first time since the surgery that he cried. It all flowed down his red cheek slowly, as if crying because of Dez as the most unusual case he had ever encounter (which it was).

"You're a real brat, you know that? You've been having it so good. Because of your surgery, you didn't have to perform for the past few weeks, taking your time at home, sleeping whenever you want, eating whatever we have, always having some of us at home to run some errands for you. You haven't had to lift a finger. But still, you complain. You're so worried about us leaving you out of what's going on that you throw a fit. You don't understand how sad we've all been. You only think about yourself." Dez knew that he was going to regret the words that came out of his mouth, but anger as all he could feel at the moment...and sadness. So much sadness.

"I-I'm...I-I'm so sorry." He stopped crying, but the sad frown on his face didn't fade. "I just, I don't know. I'm just...Sorry."

Dez's anger diminished and left a look of empathy. Austin knew it. No matter how much anger that Dez felt towards him, he was secretly crying about something else.

"I just . . . I want to know. Why are you guys so sad? Did something happen? Are you all keeping something from me? It hurts, you know. To see you all sad. Having no one to talk to. Not knowing why you guys seem so distant from me now." Austin was now stronger, more determined. Whoever made them cry so much that caused Dez to yell at him, he swore he was going to kill.

Dez looked at the group as if to ask to inform Austin about it. They all nodded sorrowfully, giving a yes. He looked back at Austin and breathed in deeply, trying to keep his emotions from making himself burst in to tears.

"It's Ally," he simply said.

Austin's face was enough to ask without words. Had this little girl been the reason why his members were crying a lot lately? Did she do something wrong to them? Hurt them, confuse them? Had she been annoying them or saying hurtful things in the time of his absence?

Dez looked away, his tears starting to break through his resistance. Dallas, who saw this, came to his aid.

"She's..." A long pause and a deep breath. "S-she's dead, Austin." His voice shook with sadness.

At first Austin didn't understand, until it hit him. He stumbled a bit, his eyes flickered from profoundness to pain for a moment.

She's dead, Austin.

"Ally...dead...What do you mean she's dead?" No response. "What do you mean she's dead?"

"She..." Dallas couldn't continue, for the vicious look in Austin's eyes struck fear in his eyes.

"She passed away while you were recovering from the surgery," Mindy answered, her eyes looked to the floor in shame.

Austin fell to a chair, unable to breathe. "What...how..."

"It was said that she had heart problems from her dad," Mindy continued, tears swelling up.

"No... No No NO! She never told me that she had heart problems. I'm the one with heart problems.

"Not according to Mr. Dawson," Dallas choked out, almost no longer breathing.

"Austin, they told us her heart failed," Dez broke it so simply, as if he could no longer get tears to form anymore. The rest cried. They were crying freely.

"Ally...Ally...Ally..."He repeated her name . . . over and over and over. The word tasted so pure, so sweet, so innocent in his mouth. It tasted so full of energy. It tasted like watermelon on a summer day. It tasted like hot chocolate during Christmas. It tasted like flowers in the springtime. It tasted alive.

"Ally...Als...Alligator.." His heart was starting to hurt, making him collapse on to the floor. Austin knew that it was a pain that came from the inside, that only his heart tormented him with. It was a feeling that the rest of his body refused to hold, just his heart, his new yet heavy heart.

Ally Dawson was dead.

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