A/N: This takes place between chapters 4 and 5 of BiTTR.
I find myself wandering the great black ship aimlessly yet again. Still having not been given any real orders from my father, so I still feel a bit out of place, but I'm trying to keep meself busy. I glance up at the wheel, and there he is. He's staring out at the sea with an expression of concentration and worry. His gaze shifts to me and he hands the wheel off to Mr. Cotton, who is standing nearby. He disappears for a moment after descending the stairs and reappears with a sword in hand. He beckons me and I approach.
He nods. "Jacki."
"Jack." He drops the sword at my feet.
"My crew's no good to me if they can't defend themselves." The look in his eyes is cold, and it unnerves me, but I pick up the sword and look at him uncertainly. I've witnessed hundreds of fights back in Tortuga, but I've never actually held a sword. Let's hope this comes naturally to me, it is in me blood after all.
0.O.0.O.0
Blood or not, I'm not a natural at swordplay, and I can hardly handle the look of disappointment in my father's eyes. What, does he expect me to be as good as him on my first try? Where was he my whole life then? He should have been there, teaching me this all along, but he wasn't. All hope is not lost though, he's to practice with me every day. I'm rather excited by this, as previous to my lessons, we hardly even spoke. Now he has no choice but to acknowledge me. His disappointment at our first lesson has motivated me to practice as much as possible before our next one. I want him to see that I'm trying. I don't want him to find me useless, and I desperately want to prove that I'm worth my salt and a valuable part of his crew.
I want him to see me as his daughter, not this strange girl with delusions of adventure. Every time he looks at me it's with this expression of…not confusion, but it's as if he can't quite figure me out. Like he doesn't understand my eagerness to please him. Is it really a crime for a girl to want her father's affection?