Me: I love college! Sleep? What's this mythical state of rest you speak of?

Karson27: Did you forget to take your meds again?

Me: No! I took them! I think...

Karson27: Dear lord. You're dying without me.

Me: No! Yes! Please come down here before I die!

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After I graduated from Ouran High School I returned to the states. I settled into my life pretty quickly. I worked on my dad's farm and attended college for an agriculture degree. After a while, I fell into a rut. At least, until I met her.

It was really fate that brought us together the first time. I never went to the library. It was like my kryptonite but the teacher gave us an assignment that required a little research. I was on foreign territory and she was a library assistant.

"What's your name?" I asked as she pulled book after book from the shelf. This paper was looking next to impossible.

"Um... Anna," she answered, peeking at me through long brown bangs. "Anna Smith."

"My name's Marx Vowell," I said, smiling a little.

"Well, here you go Marx," she said, handing me a stack of six or seven thick books. "These should help you."

"Can you help me?" I asked. "I haven't the slightest clue how to do this."

She looked at me and smiled back. "Of course."

For the next five hours, we worked on my paper. By the end of the night, we wrote the paper and went out for a midnight food run to McDonald's. We sat in the bed of my truck and watched the stars as we ate.

"This is easily worth the paper," I said, smiling at her.

She grinned back. "Easily worth trying to decipher your left handed chicken scratch to type the paper," she giggled. "You're different than most guys Marx. Right now, most guys would be trying to get in my pants."

"Don't put me on such a high pedestal," I teased. "I'm kidding. I was just raised to wait for it to matter. That and if my mom and sister found out that I was doing that to girls. I wouldn't want something like that done to them and I don't want to treat girls like they're just objects."

She giggled again. "That's sweet."

I shrugged. "It's a talent. Maybe, if you go on another date with me, I'll tell you how I got to be so charming."

"I'd like that."

And just like that, I was smitten. We started dating and a couples years after that, we moved in together. Neither of us were in an extreme hurry to get married. We wanted to finish college before that happened.

I stepped into our apartment, scratching my head and yawning. Between school and working extra hours the last week to get our crops in, I hadn't been sleeping properly. It was well after ten o'clock which wouldn't be all that late if I didn't have to get up at four in the morning. Anna was sitting on the floor, using the coffee table as a work desk.

"I'm home," I said, peeling off my boots.

She jumped up and walked over to greet me. She kissed me hard.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, chuckling slightly. "You never touch me until I shower."

She giggled. "I have to tell you something."

"Hm?" I asked.

Anna stepped back from me, a light blush forming on her cheeks. She chewed her bottom lip as she searched for words.

"Should I be scared? Did I forget something?" I asked, slightly worried about her sudden mood change.

"No. You didn't forget anything but you can be scared. I am too."

Now I was really nervous. "Anna, you're starting to freak me out."

"I missed my period so I took a test and I'm pregnant."

For a moment, I was too stunned to even process the information. After a second it sunk in.

"Baby?" she questioned, reaching out for my hand.

"I'm going to … I'm going to be a father," I gasped. My eyes widened and a grin smeared itself on my face. "I'm going to be a dad!"

I picked her up and spun in circles. Anna laughed.

"We're going to be parents!" I cheered, giving her a kiss. "You have no idea how happy I am."

"I'm glad you're happy," she smiled. "I expected you to faint."

"Fainting comes later," I joked.

The pregnancy was the scariest thing I'd ever been through and I liked to think of myself as a man who had been through quite a bit in my life. I'd seen things that most people only dreamed about but it was nothing compared to expecting a child and actually having it.

I was sitting in class, impatiently tapping my pencil against my note book as the teacher droned on and on about the war between America and whoever. Seconds drug by and all I could think of was Anna, who was eight months and three weeks pregnant sitting at her mothers house while I was being forced to sit through this torture.

I was nearly asleep when my cell phone rang, belting out a country love song, starling me and everyone else in the class.

The teacher paid no real attention to me, other than throwing me an irritated look.

"Hello?" I answered shakily, gathering all my things up. I knew what this call meant.

"Marx, it's time!" came Anna's strained voice.

"I'm on my way honey!" I told her. "I'll meet you at the hospital." I hung up and looked at the teacher. "Sorry Professor Rothwell. I'm gonna be a dad! Gotta go meet my son at the hospital!"

"Congratulations now get out of here," he chuckled, shaking his head.

I sped to the hospital with my flashers on and met Anna and her mother just as she entered the building.

"Here we go," I smiled, kissing her head, holding her hand. "We can do this."

She smiled at me and nodded.

Fifteen hours later, my son was born. After the doctors cleaned him up and brought him back and everyone left and Anna fell asleep, I sat holding him. He had fluffy whisps of brown hair and shining moss green eyes like his mom. My eyes were more hazel than green. I was glad he got his mother's eyes.

"Matthew Karsyn Tailyr Vowell," I smiled at him. I kissed his head. "Mattie, you are without a doubt the most loved baby in the world. You have an amazing mom by the way. She's perfect."

"You're daddy's great too," came Anna's tired voice.

I turned. "Did I wake you up?" I asked, walking over to sit on the edge of her bed.

"I was only pretending to be asleep," she giggled.

"We have a beautiful kid, you know that?" I asked. "You did good with him." I kissed her.

"I think you had some help with him," she said. "I think. I might be wrong."

I laughed, just loud enough to stir the infant from sleep. Mattie gave an angry cry. "Shh," I urged, rocking him a little. "Daddy's sorry buddy."

Anna giggled again. Little did I know, this was one of the very few family moments we would have.

"I'm sorry baby, I got hung up at the library," Anna said. "I'm on my way to the car right now. I'll be home soon."

"It's okay. We'll be waiting, alright? Drive safe."

"I love you Marx."

"I love you too, Anna," I said, hanging up. I went back into the living room where Mattie was idly laying on his back, playing with a stuffed toy, gnawing on it's ear.

He was only four months old but a handful already. He couldn't crawl, though he tried often. He could lift himself up if we left him on his stomach and had already figured out how to roll from his stomach to his back. He cooed and giggled all the time and attempted to babble but that was just out of his reach.

"Hey buddy," I cooed at him, picking him up. I smoothed his camouflage onesie down a little. "Looks like mama's gonna be a little late for dinner tonight. Let's get you fed and ready for bed. She's gonna be tired and want a shower before she eats and it'll be best if I give her less to do."

I fed Mattie and got him in and out of the bath, taking an unwanted bath of my own because I forgot a towel to wrap him up in, before Anna got home. We didn't live far from the library and it worried me that she wasn't home yet.

"Where could she be?" I asked myself.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang.

"Anna?" I asked.

"Hey Marx," came the response. It was not my girlfriend. "It's Dr. Stallcup."

"Kelly?" I questioned. Dr. Stallcup had been my family doctor for years and he worked nights in the ER every now and again. Whatever reason he had to call me, it wasn't good. "What's up?"

"I … I really hate to have to be the one to tell you this but I thought it'd be best that you heard it from me," he said slowly, his voice uncharacteristically grim. "But there was an accident. A man was driving home drunk and swerved into on coming traffic. He hit Anna head on at about eighty miles an hour."

My entire world stopped. "No," I breathed, tears springing to my eyes.

"I'm sorry Marx," he said. "She … We did all we could but … she's gone. I'm so sorry."

My phone fell from my hands, shattering on the floor. I ran into Mattie's room and picked him up from his crib, holding him tightly to my chest.

"It's gonna be okay buddy," I sobbed, leaning against the wall and sliding down to sit on my butt. "It'll be okay. It's gonna be okay." Every word was a total lie. It wasn't going to be okay. She was gone. My other half. My soul mate. My angel was gone, ripped from me by some drunk asshole who didn't give a damn about the lives he just ruined.

Kelly must have called my mom because my parents came in a few hours later. She coaxed me to my feet and to the couch since I refused to go to my room. I also refused to let my son go. I laid him on my chest where he'd slept many nights before.

I was on auto-pilot. Everything in me shut down and went through the motions of the day. My sister and Karsyn and the host club showed up the next day but I barely registered their presence. It still hadn't sunk in that Anna was gone forever, even as I sat in the church during her funeral.

"Marx?" Tailyr said, putting a hand on my shoulder as I stood next to Anna's grave. "Here, give me him and we'll wait for you in the truck okay?"

I looked down at my son and nodded mutely. I handed him to my sister and she walked away. My eyes returned to her grave. For a moment, I tried to rationalize what was happening. I was suddenly a single father with a three month old baby, in my final months of college and I was burying the love of my life. I was, for the first time in my life, totally and completely alone.

My legs turned to jello and I hit my knees sobbing so hard my entire body convulsed. I cried shamelessly for god knew how long. My tears frosted a little on my face from the cold but I didn't care. I felt like I was in hell, heat and all. She was gone. I would never hear her voice again. I'd never hold her in my arms. We'd never have another child together. We'd never be married. We'd never grow old and watch our grandchildren playing in the front yard.

"This isn't fair!" I screamed to the heavens. "WHY DID YOU TAKE HER FROM ME?! WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?!"

I'd never hurt so bed. I screamed and cried until my voice gave out. Finally, I staggered to my feet and went to my truck. Tailyr was standing next to the driver's side and Mattie was in the truck. I figured that Mori had taken the twins and their youngest Alyksa back in another vehicle. They wouldn't all fit in my truck with me and Mattie.

I went right up and hugged my sister, sobbing into her shoulder. She hugged me back quietly.

"Marx," she said after a while, her voice cracking. "You're always welcome in our home. If you ever need me I'm always here."

"I just don't understand."

"No one does, Bubba," she said. She never called me bubba unless she wanted something or was trying to make me feel better. I must have been super pathetic. "It's not fair and I hate seeing you like this. Just remember something, she left you a little bit of herself in that little boy. It won't bring her back to cry and neglect him. She wouldn't want that and you don't want it either. Even on auto-pilot you've been an amazing dad to him. Just remember that, okay?"

"I can't keep doing this on my own," I said, tears forming again.

"You're not alone. Don't think that," she half scolded. "I don't care if I'm half a world away or three galaxies away. I'll always be here for you and you're always welcome to go back with us and start over there. It might be good for you … but it's your choice."

"I want to go back with you," I said. "Everywhere I look … she's there. I'll go crazy if I stay here I think. Mattie deserves better than me being half crazy all the time. I'll probably never get over this all the way-"

"No one expects you to, Marx. You loved her. She gave you a child."

I nodded, looking at my son sleeping in the back seat of my truck. "Yeah. She did and I'll be more than enough parent for the both of us for him. I'll be the best parent in the entire world to that little guy. I'll let him know how much his mom loved him and how wonderful she was."

"Then do it."

"Thanks sis."

"Anytime."

A week later, Mattie and I moved to Japan. Tailyr had secured a job as an agriculture adviser for some farming company and a small place for Mattie and I to start out. After everyone went home from helping us move in, I sat in the living room, the baby on my chest asleep and a small shrine to Anna in my vision place neatly in the corner. Haruhi had suggested it because she had one to her mom and it was Japanese tradition to have one to deceased loved ones. It was a good idea.

"You always wanted to come here," I told the picture. "This is as close as you'll get I guess." I took in a heavy breath, forcing myself to remain calm. I looked down at the baby sleeping on my chest and a small, sad smile formed on my face.

He cooed in his sleep and nuzzled his head a little on my chest. A single tear escape as memories of his mom doing the same thing filled my head. I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy and I'd never be okay with losing her. I'd always miss Anna and I'd never love another woman. I'd probably never look at another woman again and if I never did I was okay with that. I had my son. I had my sister and my friends. I also had the memories of the three years I was privileged enough to spend with the most amazing woman to ever walk the earth. She gave me the greatest gift I'd ever received.

For that, I was eternally grateful.

Oh my god. I'm here in literal tears. I know this one is a lot shorter than Tailyr's chapter but its soooooooo sad. I feel terrible for it too. That's just pathetic. -_- I don't care. I'm happily pathetic! TT~TT Don't care!

Thank you for reading and please review!

Also, Karsyn's chapter is in the works!