First Name Basis
Summary:
What if Daphne Moon tried to prevent Niles from marrying Mel? Story contains psychic visions, a bottle of wine, and the Winnebago!
Author's notes:
I do not own the TV show Frasier. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.
*****Going Out of My Head Over You *****
Sleep never came to me so I got up mid-afternoon to track down Mr. Crane and run him through his exercises. After several protests and pork rinds, he helped me spread out the exercise mat. We'd just begun the last set of his leg stretches when a force took over my mind. My body started to waver. In the background I heard Mr. Crane ask me if I was all right. I couldn't reply. Our roles suddenly reversed - I felt Mr. Cranes hands grasp my arms to steady me.
I was no longer in the living room of the Crane residence. Instead, I stood in a dimly lit restaurant at night. Another one of my infrequent visions had begun.
The restaurant had an outdoorsy decor, it looked like the kind of nice but informal eating place you often saw at resort hotels. Goodness knows I'd seen enough around Washington state and British Columbia while living with the Crane boys all these years.
This vision was not unlike others that I had. In it I was merely an observer, not a participant. I could move around but no one saw or heard me.
The room was full of two groups of people: couples and families. The families all had a mother, a father, and one or two small children. The parents were busy trying to keep their little ones in line. The children were having a hard time eating their food.
The couples focused on each other. At some tables they were just gazing at themselves across the candle light. At others they went further and were holding hands. They all seemed in love. I felt a pang of envy for both groups of people in the room.
Moving around further I spied a large picture window. Outside was a forest scene like I had viewed often in the Pacific Northwest. Lights from the restaurant illuminated a circle of ground outside.
As I neared the window the couple sitting at the table in front of it came into clear view. I gasped. There, holding hands, sat Niles Crane and Mel Karnovsky. They weren't holding hands so much as Mel had clasped one of his hands with both of hers. Nonetheless they were both gazing at each other.
When I got beside them at the table I heard Dr. Crane's voice slice through the noise of the crowd.
"Then it's settled. We'll find a Justice of the Peace in the morning."
What did Dr. Crane mean by that?
"I can hardly wait. By this time tomorrow we'll be sitting here, only I won't be Dr. Mel Karnovsky any more."
"No, we'll be Dr. and Dr. Niles Crane."
My stomach flip-flopped when I realized what was happening. They'd just decided to get married. Then I got another shock.
I heard a noise just outside the window. Peering through the window I saw myself lying beneath it shrieking. That's exactly how I felt. The man I finally realized that I loved had just agreed to marry another woman.
As abruptly as the vision came it left. I found myself back in the Crane living room with Mr. Crane shaking me.
"Daphne, Daphne. Hey, Daph, are you OK?"
Mr. Crane had worry etched over his face.
"No I'm not."
"What is it?"
"I just had another one of my visions."
"Didn't that business stop a long time ago?"
"I hadn't had any since the night I got engaged."
"What happened this time?"
I looked at the kind face of the man in front of me - the father of the man I loved - and I couldn't do anything besides shake my head.
"I can't talk about it right now. I've got somewhere to go."
"Where?"
"To that resort your son was going to."
"Is something wrong with Niles? Did you see him hurt?"
"Worse. I saw him planning to marry Mel."
Mr. Crane winced.
"You're right. That is worse."
"I've got to go."
"Now calm down, Daph. It's just your pre-wedding jitters acting up."
"No. I can't stay here. I've got to go up there."
"Look, Daph. You know I think that witch is a minor league version of Maris, but aren't you jumping to conclusions?"
"No, I saw it, clear as a bell."
Mr. Crane's expression changed slightly. Like he must have been when he was on the police force, his questioning mind took over.
"Daphne, even if your vision was true, what does it matter to you?"
That brought back my tears from the morning with a vengeance. Mr. Crane, like his son earlier, embraced me.
"Oh, Mr. Crane, I know about your son."
At the instant the words came out of my mouth, his hands tensed on my shoulders. He moved back so he could look me in the eye.
"Know what?"
"I know how he feels about me."
"Who told you?"
"Your son. The other one."
"Figures. How did Loose Lips spill the beans?"
"It was when he was on those pills for his back pain. He told me how his brother felt but he didn't realize it."
"But that still doesn't explain why you're crying."
Officer Martin Crane was in full interrogation mode.
"After I found out, I couldn't get Dr. Crane out of my mind. I kept thinking about him and me and how we'd be together."
At this the elder Crane snorted.
"I'd figured as much."
This observation made me quit sobbing for a moment.
"What?"
"I've seen the way you've been looking at Niles the last few weeks. I've got eyes, you know."
"Was I that obvious?"
"To me you were. Like that day you were helping Niles cook that meal. You weren't just tending to the burn on his hand, were you?"
That was one memory I'd especially held onto the last few weeks. Dr. Crane had me helping him cook a meal for Mel. We'd had such a good time, trading jokes and making silly remarks. Then without thinking he grabbed a hot pan handle.
When I rubbed the first aid cream on his hand I got carried away. No, I wasn't just tending to his hand. I shook my head no then I crossed my arms.
"You know, if I'd talked to you I'd never have had to go see that psychiatrist. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't have caused the car wreck."
"Not bad for an old geezer, huh?"
Mr. Crane started laughing which made me reach out to smack him on the arm.
"Quit toying with me, Martin. I've worried myself sick over the past few weeks. Now I see the man I'm meant to be with, your son I might add, marrying a woman no one in this family likes."
Mr. Crane got serious quickly.
"You just called me Martin."
"Well, I did, didn't I. You have a problem with that, Mr. Crane?"
"No, I've been wanting you to for years."
Suddenly another image came in my mind. There was Niles Crane, standing in a wedding chapel, slipping a ring on a woman's finger. I couldn't see the woman's face though.
"Oh, Martin. I just saw your son putting a ring on someone's finger."
"Daph, Niles wouldn't go off and marry someone on the spur of the moment. He's not like that."
"Your other son told me that he'd convinced his brother to step out of his comfort zone. He might just well do that."
Martin Crane rolled his eyes.
"When will this family learn not to take Frasier's advice?"
In spite of the situation I laughed before getting serious again.
"Martin, I don't care what you or Dr. Frasier Crane or anyone else says. I've got to see your son before it's too late."
"OK, Daph."
Then it hit me. My car was in the shop.
"I don't have my car." I looked up at Mr. Crane. "Can I borrow yours?"
It was Mr. Crane's turn to drop his head.
"I loaned it to Simon awhile ago."
"Simon?" Hearing my brother's name brought my blood to a boil.
"He said he needed it for a date this afternoon."
"That good-for-nothing..."
"Calm down, Daph. He should be back in a few hours."
"Don't you understand. I-we don't have a few hours."
All of a sudden Mr. Crane started to sound exactly like his elder son when he gets in one of his self-confident analytical moods.
"Look, he's not going to do anything rash. These visions are probably just your subconscious pushing you to talk with Niles about how you two..."
I was in no mood to hear a Crane lecture, especially from the Crane least likely to give one. Besides, an idea had popped into my head. I interrupted him.
"Martin, I need a favor. A big favor."
"What?"
"I need to borrow your Winnebago."