First Name Basis

Summary:

What if Daphne Moon tried to prevent Niles from marrying Mel? Story contains psychic visions, a bottle of wine, and the Winnebago!

Author's notes:

I do not own the TV show Frasier. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

*****Movin' On *****

"Remember how Mr. Crane said to judge your turns" I told myself as yet another intersection full of cars honked their horns at me. Thankfully I hadn't wrecked the Winnebago yet, although I couldn't be sure that I hadn't caused any mishaps for those around me. I was too preoccupied with my own four wheels to look in the rearview mirror.

I'd been driving two hours on a trip that would have taken me at most ninety minutes in my own car. By the time I rolled into the hotel parking lot driving the Winnebago had lost its mystery to me. Instead of being consumed by fear I now merely cursed the creation of such a monstrosity. Yet it got me here. I guessed I should be thankful. The far section of the lot had places marked off for RVs so I took a spot as far away from the buildings as I could.

After parking I went to the hotel lobby. Once there I located the restaurant off to the side and made my way over to the entrance of the eatery.

"May I help you, Ma'am?" The host said.

I had just started to tell him no when out of the corner of my eye I saw them emerge from an elevator: Dr. Crane and Mel, arm-in-arm, walking in my direction. Think quickly, Daphne!

"Could I see a menu please?" The host handed me one. "Thank you, I'd like to look it over."

"Of course." he replied.

I raised the opened menu in front of my face, and quickly I pivoted as the couple approached. Even though he came within millimeters of me, Dr. Crane thankfully didn't notice. For some reason though as they passed me he sniffed the air and let out a sigh. Then he hailed the host.

"Table for two please."

"This way, sir."

With that, Dr. Crane grasped Mel's elbow and the two followed the host in. I lowered the menu, but just as I did Mel turned around. Did I get the menu back up fast enough? Peeking around it, I saw Mel start to speak but then she shook her head and returned her attention to her boyfriend. That was a close call I didn't want to repeat.

My eyes followed the couple to their seats, and it was exactly like the vision I'd seen earlier in the day. The host placed them at a small, candle-lit table beside a picture window. Mel glanced out the window then jerked her head back around. For some reason she grabbed the chair which positioned her with her back to the window. I had my answer soon enough for this odd behavior. Her voice cut like a car alarm across the room.

"Heights."

Dr. Crane's face showed he was as puzzled as me.

"Heights?" he repeated. "It's only five feet from the window down to the ground."

"And your point is?" Mel said. No one could mistake the edge in her voice, least of all Dr. Crane. Instead of pursuing the matter, he finished the job of pulling out the chair for his girlfriend and seating her.

Dr. Crane took a chair that placed him perpendicular to the window. At least he would have a view to look at. He certainly wouldn't get a good one just staring at his girlfriend. Stop that, Daphne!

"Ma'am, would you like a seat?"

The host's return interrupted my concentration.

"Yes, please."

The man began to walk us straight to towards the empty table next to the couple. I couldn't have that.

"No, no. Please don't sit me there."

"Afraid of heights too?" The host said under his breath.

"No, I'm not." My anger rose but I got it back under control. "I'd just like some place...like this one over here." I pointed to a small table nearby yet one not in the line of sight of the couple.

"Very well, ma'am."

I've had worse meals but I don't remember when. Thinking back I don't even recall what I ordered or how much of it I ate. Every ounce of my concentration was focused two tables away. I continually leaned forward so that I could catch their conversation, dreading the prospect of hearing words from my vision.

Mel kept at Dr. Crane for them to move in together. Dr. Crane, bless his heart, resisted.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were still pining away for Maris." Mel said.

This brought a chortle from Dr. Crane before he spoke.

"You couldn't be further from the truth."

"Well, is there someone else making you hold back?"

This question brought on silence at their table. After more than a few moments, Dr. Crane finally said something.

"No. I've moved on with my life."

His words cut me like a knife.

"Niles Crane, what's holding you back? You're the most cautious man I've ever met. I'm beginning to suspect it's me that's the problem."

Mel had thrown down the gauntlet. I prayed that Dr. Crane wouldn't pick it up.

"You are not a problem, Mel." Regardless of what he said, Dr. Crane was struggling with his words.

"Prove it!"

"All right."

"So you agree we'll move in together." Mel said that like she was reading a contract.

"No."

Yes! Yes! Yes! Maybe my vision had been wrong.

"Nothing's changed, Niles. We're back to square one."

"Marry me, Mel."

No! No! No! This couldn't be happening. Now it was Mel's turn to sit in silence. At last, she spoke.

"This is so sudden, Niles."

"It's funny you should accuse me of being cautious. Just today Frasier was saying the same thing. He suggested that I needed to go beyond just baby steps in my life so now I am."

"Niles, this is so sudden." she repeated.

"How do you feel about me?"

"Like I want to spend the rest of my life making Niles Crane the success he deserves to be." Even if she meant well, that remark came out horrid. It even made Dr. Crane hesitate for a split second.

"So...is that a yes?"

Just say no, Mel.

"Yes, Niles Crane, I'll marry you."

"Good." he said.

She clapped her hands together several times. After that, Mel pulled out her planning book from her purse.

"Let's see. My schedule is pretty heavy the next three months. We'll likely need one week for the run-up to the wedding and two weeks for the honeymoon. It's beginning to look like the first good date would be the 17th of..."

"Let's get married in the morning, Mel."

"What?" I thought.

"What?" Mel asked.

"Why wait? There's no good time in your schedule and there's no good time in my schedule so we should go ahead and do it now."

"Do you know what you're saying?"

"I'm throwing caution to the wind. How about it?"

Mel hesitated but not long enough.

"Yes. Let's go ahead."

Things became just like my vision earlier in the day and I had to witness the horror all over again.

"Then it's settled. We'll find a Justice of the Peace in the morning."

"I can hardly wait. By this time tomorrow we'll be sitting here, only I won't be Dr. Mel Karnovsky any more."

"No, we'll be Dr. and Dr. Niles Crane."

Panic seized me. I had to do something but what? I flagged the waiter down and paid my check. Once I got into the lobby I paced back and forth. The happy couple were still sitting at their table having ordered a celebratory bottle of champaign.

Somehow I had to see Dr. Crane. I had to get this chain of events stopped. Someway I needed to attract his attention without Mel knowing. Desperate times called for desperate measures I had heard and no one was more desperate than me at that moment.

I looked back in the restaurant at where they were sitting. I noted their seating positions again: Mel with her back to the window, Dr. Crane to her side. In my frazzled state a wild plan hatched in my brain.