Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.
Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff / Vampire! Harry, Draco and Ulquiorra, Werewolf! Toushiro, Twins!Werepanther!Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo, Demon (Cat)! Byakuya, Witch! Soi Fon.
Pairings:
Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.
Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.
Saissister: Lol.
killroy225: hehe! I'm fond of cliffhangers.
kareso: Yep! Love your profile pic! I luv Grell!
ShinobiTwin05: Yep, it is but... I thought of a random food and mangos came to mind. and don't take that from Ulquiorra! Give him a mango!
So everyone review for me! I need it! I'm a sad sad girl...
Love, Keta-chan.
Key: Parseltongue
Two people (usually Keta and Ulquiorra/ or George and Fred) talking together.
Chapter 2: Infuriating Toad
This is a song about five simple words,
That when used together properly can help to relieve the stress,
frustrations,
And aggravations caused by all the people that make you wanna freak
the fuck out.
Why do you have to go and make things so hard?
It doesn't have to be like this.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
That's it, I'm walking away, just one more reason for me to say...
I Don't Give A…
-I Don't Give A (Dope)
Harry's POV
My eyes open wide, and I find myself standing up. Draco does the same, excitement plain on our faces. Keta looks over at us and squeals. "Harry! Draco!"
"Keta!" I race over to her, and in the process, the pins in my hair fall out, letting it cascade down my back.
"Hello, Tandafir. How have you been? You as well Balaur."
"Fine, Onikai," I whisper. "Sirius has been protecting me and I still have Tom."
She smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead, right on my scar and murmurs, "I have missed you and Tom, Tandafir."
"We've missed you too."
Her grin widens to include her barely hidden fangs. "Do you mind if I sit with you and Balaur? I would love to meet all of your little friends." She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, earning a punch to her arm. "Aww! Why do you have to be so mean to me?!"
"Just sit down, Keta!"
She scowls at the head table, growling loudly. "Severus Snape. It's been a long, long time since I've seen you. Sixteen years, right? Sissy and Lily were pregnant the last time I saw you." She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her chest. "But I've seen Tandafir, my rose much more often then you. Balaur, however, was much more sporadic." I punch the air in victory and she laughs. "That doesn't mean I love you more, Harry."
"Aww."
"But I still love you." Her eyes slit as she speaks in parseltounge, motion for the ones behind her to go sit down.
"Keta," the orangette inquires, "where are you going to go?"
"I'm going to sit with Severus and make his life miserable. I'm good at that you know, Ichigo."
"Ain't that the truth."
"Shut it, Nnoitora! I'm not above burying you again." The tall lanky man, Nnoitora pales considerably and backs away from both her and the pale, black haired man with acid green eyes.
"Why are you backing away from me?"
"You're evil too, Ulquiorra!"
"Can't help it!" they shout together, sharing a laugh afterwards.
The others stalk off, muttering about psychotic demonic children to which they respond with a pout. He follows her up to the front table where they transfigure twin expensive looking chairs out of thin air. She sits cross-legged, holding his hand and ignoring the glares from the new defense teacher.
Keta's POV
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the grotesquely pink toad of a woman growls at me, and I give her an evil grin. "Who are you?"
"Princess Ketakoshka Castlionia, the Cero Espada." She pales. "So Cornelius told you about me then? Oh, and Headmaster Dumbledore, thank you for allowing me to have my exclusive defense classes in place of making everyone take this filth's pitiful class." The woman looks murderous while the aging Headmaster blushes.
"Mrs. Castlionia, I implore you to be much kinder or I. Will. Take. You. Down."
"Miss. I never got married." I shift my head into my hand and give her a sad look. "My fiancés died before our wedding. They were and are still wonderful. They just had to be reincarnated and die again for me to find them again. Oh, well."
U'ra chuckles under his breath, laying his hand on my arm. "Do not be cruel dear sister. Of course. Ulquiorra Schiffer, the cuarto espada, and the substitute teacher when Keta has other things to do." His emotions slide off of his face, leaving a creepy emotionless look there as he finishes. "And you best not get on our bad sides."
"Why not?" she all but screams to which we respond together.
"In the words of Dope, we don't give a fuck about you."
Last note! I have a poll up for a Supernatural/Harry Potter crossover. Please check it out! Thank you!