"By the rules of the ministry, you should be fired, and imprisoned." Dumbledore said wearily. "Not only did you destroy your office, you killed someone. On top of that, killed them in front of an entire class of fourth years. Honestly, what were you thinking?"
"That there was a demon in the school that wanted very badly to feast on human flesh, and it had to be stopped. I know, silly of me."
"But how can we prove that it wasn't an innocent person? We can't. Taking a student hostage could have just been an act of desperation."
"Look, next time—and there will be a next time—I'll take their stinking carcass to you and make them confess."
"Of course, that could be the Imperious curse."
"And then I will carve up their body and prove that they are not human, and as such, the curse does not work on them."
"I believe I will just choose to trust you." Dumbledore concluded. I blinked. That was easy. Too easy.
"Wait, what about the law?"
"I will explain to them the situation. They will be understanding if it comes from me."
"All right." Dumbledore was a powerful ally. "So, is that…forgiving nature for all headmasters, or just because you're Dumbledore?"
"I'm afraid it is just because I am Dumbledore. You will have to make your own name for yourself."
"Okay. Cool. How long exactly should I be headmaster?"
"One hundred years, perhaps? Unless you are bad one. If you are a bad one, please quit as soon as you find a replacement."
"How am I supposed to know if I am good or bad?" I asked crossly. The senile old man just laughed. Sometimes he was really infuriating.
That meeting with Kagura really unnerved me. The kids hadn't even had the sense to run away, and the kid she held hostage didn't even try to fight. I sighed. I knew how to fix it. It looked like my life was going to get a whole lot busier.
The up side of being at a wizarding school was that they had pieces of paper that could hold video. I spent the rest of my night compiling footage from Martial Arts movies. Then, I put it to the song Remember the Name. The next morning, I posted it over the school with the message:
Mixed Martial Arts Classes
Free
Meets Mondays—Fridays 5-8 pm
In the Courtyard.
Learn to Defend Yourself.
That was it. I wasn't too great with creative writing or flashy phrases. I just liked to tell people how it was. They could deal with it. I went back to my office, then, studying the portal located in the center of it.
Suddenly, I was struck with a thought. Maybe it went both ways. Maybe I could visit the demon world. Without hesitation, I punched my hand through the opening. It seemed to disappear.
Perfect.
Walking through the portal, I saw the demon world for the first time. It was surprisingly peaceful. I had walked out into a beautiful meadow, full of flowers and framed in trees. I couldn't help but smile at the paradise like air it gave off. This was the demon world?
I walked into the near city. It was seemingly made of silver and gold. The entire thing was beautiful, with flowers in the windows and whimsical, cobblestone streets. The demons themselves didn't seem too bad, either. They were beautiful, and I saw a gaggle of women laughing and gossiping. Children played in the streets.
Did I come to the right place?
Suddenly, one of the children accidentally ran into a jolly-looking storekeeper. Without any hesitation, the man broke his neck. The other children laughed, asking the man for the body. He gave it to them, and they made short work of devouring it.
There. Those were the demons I knew and loved. Feeling strangely relieved, I walked up to one of other store owners.
"Oi. I'm looking for my brother. Any idea where he might be?"
"Maybe if you told me his name? What he looks like?" Her nose curled up. "You smell like something odd…very strong. Maybe you should consider taking a bath."
"Maybe I will. As soon as I meet up with my brother. His name is Sesshomaru."
"Well, that's helpful." She said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because it's totally not like every child isn't named that."
"Well, he's my older brother." I hesitated. Sure, he was the Lord of the Western lands back five hundred years ago, but maybe not anymore. "Like the Lord of the Western Lands?"
"Yes, Yes," the lady was getting more and more irritated. "All of them were named after the Lord of the Western Lands. Now, do you have a physical description, Or am I to simply read your mind?"
"No, I mean he IS the Lord of the Western Lands. I've been…abroad. Where is his Palace?"
The woman's mouth dropped. She pointed into a place deeper in the city. "The palace is in the center of the city…You cannot really be Lord Sesshomaru's…brother? I was not aware that his mother had a sin recently."
"Two hundred years ago, would it be?" One of the customers asked, sizing me up. "I believe she did. Lord Satoshi."
"Lord Satoshi?! The Warlord of the North?!"she prostrated herself before me. "Please forgive my insolence, Great Lord!"
"Um, No Prob." I muttered, leaving the situation as quickly as I could. Moving through the streets, I quickly came upon the palace. I walked up to the front doors to walk inside.
"Halt!" One of the guards stopped me. "What is your business in the great Palace of Stars?" I laughed.
"Who came up with that name? Sesshomaru?!" It was so gay!
"The honored Lady Rin." Rin. I remembered her. Yeah. It sounded like a name she would come up with. "And you would be wise not to address your King in such a manner."
"I'll address my dickhead brother however I want!" I retorted, watching as the guard's face contorted in anger.
"You will not address him that way! Also, Lord Satoshi arrived earlier today. You are not he." He sneered at my clothes, the standard-issue robes they gave me as a teacher. "Your magic doesn't work in this palace, student of Ahkimastabifherzhad!"
What a ridiculously long name. I almost said something, but I was interrupted by a voice.
"What is going on here?" A man walked up to the guards, with an air of authority. He was tall; too tall for my liking. In addition to not aging, I'd only grown one inch over the last five hundred years, bringing me up to a whopping 5'8". This was decent in Japan, but in every other country I'd lived in, I was embarrassingly short. This man was irritatingly a head and a half taller than me. To make matters worse, he was muscled, as was easy to tell though his tight T-shirt, and even tighter jeans. His white hair was long-ish, covering his ears, but not reaching his shoulders. In contrast to his fair hair, his skin was tan and dark.
"This foolish child was trying to impersonate you, My Lord Satoshi." the man's eyes shot up.
"Was she now?" Wait, did he just seriously mistake me for a girl? I opened my mouth, but the stupid guard interrupted me.
"Judging by her robes, I imagine, she must have tried magic to disguise herself. Naturally, though, none of the spell, but her voice charm remained within the palace walls."
"Haha! The voice stayed? I have to hear this!"
"I'm not a—" I couldn't even finish before the guy began laughing at me! I fumed silently, waiting for him to finish before I would castrate him.
"Aw, man! This is so great! I'm going to take her to my chambers. Guards, kindly let us in?" He motioned to the guards. Oh. Maybe that rudeness was only an act. Now, he'd take me to Sesshomaru, and I could tell my brother about the breach in the barrier.
"Thanks for getting me in." I said to him. "Now—" I was interrupted by more laughter from him.
"Oh man that was one funny blunder! I don't suppose you can change your voice back, can you? Or you would have done so already. Aw man, this is too rich!"
Okay, maybe he was really just that rude.
"Look, I'm not—" He laughed again, and I decided to give up. "I need you to take me to Sesshomaru!" I all but yelled at him through his laughing.
"Now why would you want to do that? He may be handsome, but have you any idea how old he is? Almost one thousand! I'm a much better choice for a young, pretty girl, like you."
I almost fed him his own liver. Almost. But instead, I chose a more…tactical approach.
"Please take me to him. I only have a short, very important thing to tell him, and then we can have some fun together." I winced. Ugh. I had no pride.
"How important are we talking? Is it a message from Ahkimastabifherzhad himself?"
"Yes." I lied.
"Oh really? So then, why did you try to disguise yourself as me?"
"It was secret. People cannot know about the message, or even that my Lord contacted Sesshomaru." I paused, adding, "sama" to the end of his name.
"What does that mean?" He asked.
"What?"
"Sama. I've never heard it before." I gaped at him. I knew I hadn't heard it used here yet, but I had no idea they had completely forgotten it.
"It means Lord. Now, can I please see him?" Satoshi looked me up and down silently for a few minutes, before finally conceding,
"Sure. But not for long, okay? I'm still going to have my fun with you."
"I'm not sure you'll want to at the end." I smirked, walking in front of him, in the direction of my brother's scent.
"Wait, how do you know where to go?" Satoshi asked.
"It's just the throne room right? Most people would know where that is." I explained. Man, I was lying to this guys a lot. Finally, I arrived, pushing the doors open.
"Oi! Sesshomaru! Please explain to me why my students were forcibly attacked by one of your dumb little youkai subjects yesterday!"
"Inuyasha?!" Sesshomaru jumped up from his seat. He looked different. More mature, I guess, like he was in his early thirties, instead of twenties, but he was still good looking enough to have every woman in the world drooling over him. His hair was shorter, too. It was cut close to his head, just as most men in the human world. "What are you doing here?"
"I walked here! Right through one of the holes in the barrier that are forming as you sit on your butt, arguing whether you should renew the thing or not." I snarled.
"Explain. Now, hanyou." His eyes were ice. I could see that there would be no love in this "touching" reunion. Not that I expected any.
"I was sitting there, innocently, in my office, minding my own business. When suddenly, this stinking portal shows up in my room! And guess who steps through it! Kagura! Revived by the Great Akhmblbmblmblbmbbl-whatever himself! And is she there for tea? No. She's there to try blowing me to bits and feasting on my students. Now, I'd like you to explain to me what that portal was doing there in the first place."
"Wait, I thought you were here to send a message from Ahkimastabifherzhad. Who are you?" Satoshi was looking at me, aghast.
"This is my other half-brother, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru explained. I noticed his derision for the guy. I smirked in satisfaction. At least I wasn't the only one he hated.
"Half-brother?! You're a man? We're related?!" Satoshi was beyond shocked.
"A man, yes, but related, he is not." Sesshomaru said. "He is the second son of my father."
"I thought your father died before the Divide."
"He did."
"But that would make you—" He stared in shock at me. "five hundred years old!"
"Try seven hundred. I'm one of the ones that killed Naraku." Watching him get more and more shocked was actually pretty satisfying.
"But why has no one ever heard of you, then?!"
"He's hanyou, so I respected his request to stay on the human side of the barriers." Sesshomaru turned to me. "I assume that went well?"
"Hardly. Kagome left me when I was younger than our kids."
"Ah. I see why you haven't aged. You moved to the future with your human wench."
"I have too aged! At least a little bit. And no, I'm really seven hundred years old. I moved back after she left me."
"Why are you not an old man, then?" Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed.
"I don't know, honestly. I just haven't been aging. Also, can you explain something to me?"
"What is it, hanyou?"
"Let me just show you." I spoke the language of the earth, and a block of stone shot up from the floor, hitting Satoshi between the legs. Then I spoke to the water, and the wine from Sesshomaru's glass shot out and soaked one of the guards' faces. Then I spoke to the wind, making it lift Sesshomaru's hair straight up into the air. Finally I spoke to the fire, making it dance in between my finger.
"I can also control plants, animals, and people. What's up? Why am I so grossly overpowered?"
"Compensating for something?" Satoshi, the little snot, managed to say through his pain. Maybe I didn't hit him hard enough.
"I do not know. None in our family have had those abilities. How do you control the elements?"
"He seduces them with his tranny powers." Satoshi quipped. Yep I definitely didn't hit him hard enough. I shouted one word to the rocks, and a large one slammed into his face.
"I am not a transvestite! You just were too STUPID to see that I am CLEARLY a man!" I yelled at him.
"If you two must fight, please do it where I cannot hear you. Now, Inuyasha, answer my question." Sesshomaru was not amused.
"I just speak to them, you know? And they listen."
"Most interesting. I must converse with my advisors. Satoshi, Inuyasha, please leave."
I left the room, Satoshi following me.
"You know," He said as soon as the door closed, "If you don't want to be mistaken for a girl, maybe you should cut your hair. Oh, and grow a couple inches. Maybe don't wear a dress, too."
"I am NOT wearing a dress. These are robes. I am required to wear these as a teacher." I explained through gritted teeth. "And, for your information, my brother had his hair just this long before the Divide!"
"Um, yeah. Just because something was in fashion five hundred years ago doesn't mean it is now. Maybe you should stop living in the past."
"Maybe you should get a brain." I took off the robes, self-conscious about looking like a girl. Under them, I had on the school-issue clothing, a dress shirt and tie under a grey cardigan, and black dress pants.
"You still look like a girl, even without the dress. Maybe you should try working out. Or maybe get a new face."
"Ooh, clever. Maybe you're just jealous, because I'm so powerful?"
"Please." He snorted, much to my frustration. It was obvious he had the upper hand in this argument, and it bothered me. "I'm the strongest man in this world, and I can get women into my bed. This is more than you can say, undoubtedly."
I growled. "How about you just die, you depraved pervert!"
"I knew it. Honestly, when was the last time you got laid?" He noticed my furious blush. "Or maybe, never?"
"Of course not, idiot! I have kids!" In a desperate and foolish gesture, I stuck my tongue out at him. Why am I such an idiot?
"Who I remember you were more childish than. Big surprise there. I suppose I can see why your wife left you."
I rocked back on my heels, shaken by the comment. Stupid. I was over that. It was five hundred years ago. But, I realized, was I really over anything that had happened five hundred years ago? Miroku's death still seemed brand new.
"Oh, um, sorry. I didn't mean that." Satoshi was suddenly backpedaling, and apologizing. What was up? I hadn't even said anything. Why was he so blurry, too? And my cheeks so warm? Was I getting a fever? That would be just freaking fantastic. "I just carried away…I said things I shouldn't have. Look, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. So, please…stop…crying?" He pleaded.